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Most women will get breast cancer, Its not a big deal anymore

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  • dreaming
    dreaming Member Posts: 219
    edited May 2011
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    She was an idiot,I would have told her"Hope you enjoy your breast cancer",

     I am not nice lady like any longer, I was called one by a colleague in front of others : that I was handicapped like her that could not walk,had polio, because I did not have a breast..

    I did not argue, I filed a complain of verbal abuse,discrimination, etc etc with HR and had her fired.

    Many people are nasty  and with no understanding of others. I am going though something similar with my skin cancer"It is the best cancer to have" Yes, if one accepts to be disfigured and to have surgery after surgery. I have a large scar on my face that is horrible.

    People can be cruel and ignorant. You have the right to cry, to help with your depression ask your doctor what to do, I was on antidepressants during my treatment for breast cancer, it really helped.

  • pil
    pil Member Posts: 40
    edited May 2011
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    Ducky, YES  get a dog. OH get another dog. PLEASE there are so many needing help.

    go to    http://www.petfinder.com/index.html    and look in your areas.  

    your story was heartbreaking but sweet and joyious. I am glad your Dad got to enjoy the little puppy for the 2 months.  I know its help him a lot.  Very loving to do this.  

    Please get another pet.  There are pets waiting for you.   You know some little canine is waiting for you.  :)   

  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 15,879
    edited May 2011
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    Ducky please  Ask your doc or the spca about getting a therapy dog. I'm only entering the process , so, I don't have any advice. If you get any news let me know. I do know these dogs come trained, and there are requirements. I have multiple reasons for believing I qualify. But again no details yet.

  • blondiex46
    blondiex46 Member Posts: 2,726
    edited May 2011
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    apparently your co-worker doesn't know anybody that has gone through it or is going through it, they wouldn't say it and although it might seem like it is common it isn't and the piece of cake part of it, are you kidding me!!

  • yellowdoglady
    yellowdoglady Member Posts: 52
    edited May 2011
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    Try not to waste your time on thoughtless, insensitive people.  I had a similar experience.  When I told a friend that I had been diagnosed, she said "Don't worry.  Breast cancer won't kill you for a very long time."

    Oh, okay, how silly of me.  I have plenty of time to carve my gravestone, so everything is fine.

    Some people just can't hear what comes out of their mouths. 

  • Char2010
    Char2010 Member Posts: 362
    edited May 2011
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    Every 3 minutes a woman in the US is daignosed with breast cancer.  Every 13 minutes a woman in the US dies from breast cancer.  How can that be "a no big deal and a walk in the park"?

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646
    edited May 2011
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    Char2010.......I think the reason no one makes a big deal out of BC anymore is they talk so much about all the treatments for it, and I think it is taken lightly.............They don't talk about all the bad stats............they just talk about all the progress made, even your Cancer Centers put their commercials on making it sound as if "its all very easy"

    Perhaps if they went on TV and said "we have made progress, but not nearly enough, we need a vaccine so we don't need treatment"...............That would be more impressive.....but we all know that isn't going to happen........instead they will sing Happy Birthday to all of us who already have cancer......................

  • Mazy1959
    Mazy1959 Member Posts: 254
    edited May 2011
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    I think one reason so many people think its a walk in the park is because so much advertising emphasizes on the progress made with treating breast cancer, which is true but they leave out alot. I personally have not seen a breast cancer promotion that includes those with stage 4. You see...they want the public to think that we are all happy little survivors because of the money that was donated. Not saying thats bad but they dont exactly tell the whole story. As long as the general public sees all these success stories etc...they will give money. If they put me in a commercial I'm sure it wouldnt gain them much. To them I am considered terminal so therefore I will never be a success story for them. To me..I am a success story. I do pretty good with what abilities I still have. And yes those donations probably had something to do with my treatments that have extended my life. What really bugs me are the commercials for Cancer Treatment Centers of America. Its obvious that 1 of those commercials is about a lady who had breast cancer. She gives them great credit for saving her breast ( her previous docs had told her she needed a masectomy). I want to hear the follow up on her. Did her cancer come back? We will never know because I cant imagine them putting this lady back on tv telling us all that her cancer is back and that she is going to trust them over other docs to cure her again. I want to hear how many long years they gave a stage 4 breast cancer patient. I know one lady who went to them and she died 6 months later. She was convinced that she was getting better treatment there. In reality she wouldve had the exact same thing right here in her hometown. Sorry for the vent...I needed to let it out LOL. Hugs, Mazy

  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 5,858
    edited May 2011
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    THIS IS SUCH BULL.all the bc crap just turns my stomach.they never ever talk about our stage 4 sistas.they never ever tell us exactly where the $$$$$$ is going.AND----if its not such a big deal anymore why dont they just give everyone that damn vacine.....everyone knows that they have it...and even if they dont(which i dont believe for one minute)WHY THE HELL DONT THEY HAVE IT??????All that $$$$$$ is going where??????
  • Mazy1959
    Mazy1959 Member Posts: 254
    edited May 2011
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    I agree Granny. Hugs, Mazy

  • vivirasselena
    vivirasselena Member Posts: 51
    edited May 2011
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    Good grief!  what kind of an idiot would say that?  Cancer is huge.  No matter what kind it is.

    BC is no joke and absolutely DEVOURS your life during treatment.

  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 15,879
    edited May 2011
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    Hi VIV  we meet again. Hope you are navigating well.

    The above comment was as stupid as is gets.

    Anyone into swimming learned some tremendous things on that thread about LE prevention. Then followed their suggestion about watching the material on You Tube, so, far the best day in months. Pass the word. The best YT viewing is leaving here and registering there. Had access to much more info.

  • Maybe484
    Maybe484 Member Posts: 28
    edited May 2011
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    Although I'm new at this cancer thing, I'm already a card-carrying member of the I Hate Pink club.  Your co-worker's insensitivity is unconscionable.  But the really amazing thing to me is that I've seen it displayed by people who should definitely know better.  While I was in the examining room waiting to meet my doctors for the first time (and this is at a major TEACHING hospital), I was first bombarded with a huge folder of material from the American Cancer Society patient navigator, who shoved a "where to get wigs" pamphlet, among others, in my face.  Then a volunteer, who's a "breast cancer survivor," brought me a big pink plastic basket wrapped up in cellophane like an Easter basket and containing a pink tissue paper flower garland (where the hell am I supposed to hang that?  My hospital room?), a pink water bottle, pink nail polish, pink lipstick (haven't worn either since I played dress up at age 10), etc. and ad nauseum.  I know that both were well-meaning, but I didn't appreciate the superficiality of their response to the fact that I was waiting to hear my diagnosis and scared absolutely to death.  I think the party line now is to downplay breast cancer's seriousness.  It is serious and you have every right to feel a myriad of emotions and to express them, Thatgirl!

  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 1,929
    edited May 2011
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    Maybe, I agree about the "downplaying". I'm also appalled at what happened to you. I'm not up on HIPAA laws in the U.S., but it sounds like they were breached if these people were sent to you without your permission. No volunteers came to see me until I was in the hospital after my mx, and the one who did only came after the BC nurse navigator asked me if she could send her. This was a major teaching hospital? Then they have a Medical Director who needs to hear about this.

    Best of luck.

    Leah

  • Maybe484
    Maybe484 Member Posts: 28
    edited May 2011
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    To make matters worse, the ACS patient navigator wanted to call me later to "see how you're doing" and I told her I'd prefer not to talk with her again.  So when she called me yesterday (!), I gave her an earful.  I will definitely express my concerns to the higher-ups.  I was waiting to be given a survey to register my complaints, but I may have to talk with someone before then.  I see my team of doctors today prior to my surgery on Tues., and the three doctors and the nurse managing my case are all consummate professionals.   The liasons--not so much.

  • kal21
    kal21 Member Posts: 20
    edited May 2011
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     I am glad  you fell like me.. BC is awful cause we know it will  come back just when.

    I also get tired of hearing they do  so much now.. not really..these highly quilified research people

    should know By now why these cells spread and how to stop it.First stage can quickly turn to for in no time because they don't do the right tset at the beginning.

  • thegood5
    thegood5 Member Posts: 284
    edited May 2011
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    Maybe~sorry to hear that you had such a hard time with your Navigator.  Was she assigned to you by the hospital or from the ACS?  After I had my tests done and was meeting with the nurse to go over my tx plans, there was also a Nurse Navigator there who was assigned to me by the actual Breast Center that I was at.  I must say, she is absolutely amazing and has quickly become my and my husband's close friend.  She meets us at just about every appt I have, visits me during chemo, and will check into my test results as soon as they are available to keep me from hanging in limbo, which can sometimes happen with the Dr.s.  If I have a question, stupid or not, I can call her at anytime...she even gave us her cell #.  I feel blessed to have her because she explains things to us that we just aren't quite getting from the Dr. and is that other set of ears at the appts, because sometimes you get shocked with something the doc has to say, ie when they told me it spread to my liver, and they are right there to answer any questions.  She even waited there for my Brain scan results and  called us w/in the hour for my b9 results!!  Wishing you well!
  • Maybe484
    Maybe484 Member Posts: 28
    edited May 2011
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    Hi, new friends,

     I don't want to hijack the thread and make it all about me--to answer the question, I got the impression that the ACS liason person has a staff position at the clinic.  The nurse managing my case is great.

    Mainly, though, I just wanted to say that if some of the trained employees act like breast cancer is all pink fluff, then it's not surprising that regular people minimize it.  I know that negative thinking doesn't help anything or anyone, but that's a normal reaction, especially initially, as well as being scared and shocked, so why do some of the trained liasons act like all a newly diagnosed woman needs is an attitude adjustment or a new 'do/wig?

  • susan_CNY
    susan_CNY Member Posts: 64
    edited May 2011
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    some people should just not say anything, your co-worker is pitiful, If you feel overwhelmed please talk to your internist about your depression, meds might help and keep coming to this site for support. So sorry you had to hear that, hugs  ♥ 

  • Just_V
    Just_V Member Posts: 436
    edited May 2011
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    let's talk about dumb comments made by co-workers.  My good friend and co-worker is about 5 weeks ahead of me on this BC journey - one of our co-workers told her 'that's what happens to women who don't have children - they get breast cancer', and to me, she said, 'I had a friend who died of breast cancer.  Oops! I shouldn't have said that'.  My sister wants to come from Seattle to Texas to kick my co-worker's butt....   But we all know that BC, regardless of the stage, grade, or treatment plan is no 'walk in the park'.  We're here for you!

  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 15,879
    edited May 2011
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    We just finished a novena to st Theresa on the Catholic thread. Two of the things that we learned about her were --her parents had 10 children, I'm guessing she breastfeed them all because it was the middle 1800's and then St Therese's mother died of BC.

    Some people just lack in gray matter.

  • pebee
    pebee Member Posts: 96
    edited May 2011
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    My mom is a nurse, and works in a nursing home with older women patients, some who have had breast cancer..... She said the same thing to me - along with the line that most of the patients died of something else.  All side effects were minimized. - you won't lose your hair.....

    I promptly told her that there was a big difference between me getting it and an 80 year old and no, I am not mocking older women - I would not want this hell on anyone.  But, there is a big difference in treatments and how aggressive they are - and that makes a huge difference.

    She is much quieter now.

  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 706
    edited May 2011
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    Your coworker is a major idiot. She doesn't know what she is talking about

  • thegood5
    thegood5 Member Posts: 284
    edited May 2011
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    nursed 3 kids, drink 2-3 cups of coffee daily, eat asparagus, and I STILL got BC.  Some people are idiots

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 46,930
    edited May 2011
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    It will be a big deal if it happens to her!

  • Mountains1day
    Mountains1day Member Posts: 19
    edited May 2011
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    Listen to this....I had a friend for 24 years.  She was always about herself but I was the laid back one who let everything go.  When I was diagnosed , I became not so laid back anymore dealing with so many emotions.  She was the only close friend I had but she was not there for me when I needed her the most.  She would tell me she didn't like my wig, it didn't look good on me (like I didn't know that) but it was better than being bald.  On her birthday, I took her out for dinner, I had just finished Chemo but still on Herceptin.  My nose was running, I had no eyebrows or eyelashes and couldn't keep makeup on because my eyes kept tearing.  My wig was hot and itching, sores in my mouth and trigger fingers.  She insisted on sitting at the bar right in the limelight so she could socialize and never gave a second thought how I was feeling. Typical her I said to myself and wondered why I was still friends with her for 24 years.  After listening to her complain about having a cold sore in her mouth all evening....that was it for me and I have thankfully moved on.  Amazing, it took a BC diagnoses to figure out a 24 year friendship really didn't amount to much.

  • mantra
    mantra Member Posts: 189
    edited May 2011
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    A woman at the gym had heard I had breast cancer. She says to me "I'm a retired nurse. Don't worry, no one dies from breast cancer anymore." Uhmmm, did you have to turn in your IQ when you retired because that has to be the most stupid comment I've ever heard in my life!

  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 15,879
    edited May 2011
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    moutains I effectively had the same occurence-------31 yearsof friendship------ we arranged her visit around her schedule------even though she said how can I help. I said I have sx on july31st and Greg has chemo on x dates. Didn't fit her schedule. Aug 31st 09, she came. Reealized the dire situation we were in and left---------fuck her.

  • thegood5
    thegood5 Member Posts: 284
    edited May 2011
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    this is one way to really find out who your true friends are, unfortunatly.  Mountains, sorry you had to go thru that, but glad you found the strength to "get rid of what ails you".  Mantra, get the same type thing from my step-MIL...oh, you are almost all done and will be fine!  HELLOOOOO!  stage IV here....never will be done....unless she means "all done" as my life span?!?  haha!

  • Annabella58
    Annabella58 Member Posts: 916
    edited May 2011
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    Wow.  I've had it said to me, also.

    I think it's just ignorance and the "I don't want to hear about it, as it might happen to me, too" syndrome.

    that said, ignore the foole.  Quite a few of those as put so aptly above, "marroons" out there.

    love to you