Most women will get breast cancer, Its not a big deal anymore
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I think what your co-worker meant (in her ignorant and insensitive way), is that is does seem to be an epidemic. But perhaps that is due to greater public awareness now and more women getting screened, therefore more cases being diagnosed (?).
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Swanseagirl, it is so true. I thought part of being an evolved human was knowing how to respond appropriately to difficult life events. After all, we are supposed to be a highly-evolved species. I don't let people off the hook for insensitivity on this issue much anymore, because it absolutely is epidemic. And,when my friends were struck with cancer before I had my diagnosis, I know what kind of friend I am: front and center.
I, too, decided that it's not my part time job to say the right things or respond as people some want me to.
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Thatgirl --your friend --or I hope ex friend has her head up her ass
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Hi, i`m from Bulgaria, Eastern Europe. A coworker told me i was punished by God!!!
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Krissi - as I posted back some, I was told I got cancer because of all the wrong I did in my life...omg!...and yes, god was brought into the same sentence and what I didn't state back there was MY MOTHER told me this just a few months before she passed suddenly, last September...how hurtful and cold and cruel....but under the circumsatnces I do not hold this against her and didn't, it hurt so badly, I didn't think my mother would ever say anything to me like that in all my years....
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Sisters....looks like many of you have to come down to Jo's Bonfire of the Goddesses thread! All that pink stuff is already burning on the fire... Feel free to throw in emotionally charged words that people throw at you too that hurt you! There's lots of those words...and a few people who say them...burning in the fire. I promise you'll all feel better down at the fire. Refreshments are served too! Marshmallows anyone?
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Krissi and Onetoughwoman-I am so sorry that anyone said those things to you. As a Christian I would never tell someone that God is punishing them. Rest assured that God loves each and everyone of us. I have done plenty of bad stuff in my life, God gave us free will and the ability to choose, but he loves us no matter what. Even when we don't love ourselves. People can be so stupid and insensitive at times.
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Just proof that through research and science and the thousand of women who have passed from this disease that treatment options for BC have come a long way - but there STILL ISN'T TREATMENT FOR STUPID!!! The things some people say.....
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Krissi and Onetoughwoman, forgive me for not writing more..............I truely have to compose myself before i write or I will be thrown right off this Website by the moderators..........I will be back, I promise
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I would just walk away from someone who said that to me (that it was no big deal). Just walk away.....you will encounter so many ignorant and insensitive people - try to not let them get the best of you.
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I didn't know you were burning pink stuff - awesome!
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Dear virtual friends, all these years i knew that only women who have endured breast cancer could understand fully each other, I did have the support of my real friends and moreover i perfectly know that God is too busy with the building of the Universe and hardly has time for my own person but it`s a pity to realize how some people are really stupid and it hurts a lot,0 -
Ugh. Your co-worker has a disease far worse than cancer. Unfortunately, she was born stupid. But it's not a big deal, right?
xoxo
Rose.
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A friend of mine posted this on Facebook today: "On my way to the doctors to get the tata's checked out. Big hurtung lump, Hey maybe free tata job, Wooot."
Sigh.....I hope it's not cancer, because it's a hell of alot bigger deal then she obviously thinks.
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Traci-TripNeg: Rest assured ... if your friend winds up with a BC diagnosis, her "wooot wooot" tune will nosedive quickly. Trust me, it will become a very big deal.
The same can be said of anyone who has ever said anything insensitive to any of us about BC.
The truth is, any woman (or man) who has *personally* walked the unpaved path of Breast Cancer knows *exactly* what to say, and how to say it.
People say stupid stuff because they have never stood in our shoes. For me, this does not excuse their clueless behavior, but does help explain it!
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SherriC - Thank you. Comming from my mother probably hurt the most. Ive had so many people just bramble on about this that and the other thing...almost 5 yrs out now, still have been placed on the spot with, "hey, you've been through it, why don't you share"...this was from someone who has never had a surgery in her life nor knows anything about what BC is, even though her mother had it...golly gee Mr. Magee. Maybe I took it incorrectly, I don't want to share anymore other than on this site because we've all been through it...ready to have my own bonfire with all the Pink and BC stuff I have, it will be time to go in the very near future!!!
I am grateful for all the women her who are courageous enough to share, to enspire, enlighten and support! Thank you.
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hahahaha! Yep! 0
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This isn't nearly as bad as what you ladies have endured/listened to.....but just have to get this off my chest........a VERY good friend of mine e-mailed me that if she ever got breast cancer....she'd have recon, like I did. Because "hey, why not? we're still young...and if it makes you feel good and beautiful, then why not?" I almost threw my computer out the window! NONE of her reasoning were the reasons I had recon! And I certainly don't feel good....or beautiful......or YOUNG! I'll be 58 soon.....and the TAMOX makes me feel about 90
Hugs to all......you ladies are all the best!
Suzanne
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Ducky---If I respond to your post you can bet your life you and I will get thrown off this thread and all the other threads we are on.A lot of sistas know me as (poopy mouth) thanks medgal for being so polite but you know better.ha...We betta go to that bonfire again and again because im gettin angry each time i go on this thread.
onetoughwomen--thats just what you are.keep up the good work.I admire your courage.
Im surprised i only got one response on what anyone would say to anyone who told them they had BC.Sure I would send them here.BUT WHAT WORDS DO WE USE???To me if someone told me they have BC at first im stunned thats why id like to hear what others would say.
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Grannydukes...Looks like you're going to have to get the sisters to fall in line and follow you down to the Bonfire of the Goddesses...and then you'll show them how to throw stuff on the fire! I'm chilling the wine. Jo has the marshmallows....We'll be waiting for you and the sisters!
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On second thought...I'm getting a camera for this one!
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Ugh, if I had a penny for every moron who said, "Well, maybe you can get a new pair of perky ones!" I will go insane. I think someone nailed it here. When people are this dopey, it's about them, not us. What they are really saying is, "It's not a big deal to me."
As for what to say to someone with BC, something along the lines of "I will help you through this in whatever way you need and want me." seems appropriate, and simple.
Of course, that assumes people want to help. Most honestly don't want to be bothered.
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Im happy someone responded to my question because thats what i just did to a neighbor of mine.She was sooo happy as she had no transportation to go for tx and i got it for her.I was sooo happy to do it.I really think you have to walk in those shoes to really feal the pain.only then do you really really understand. Even our closest family and friends who love us and help us still dont fully understand.WE DO.IM PRAYIN MOST WOMEN WILL NOT GET CANCER....THEY WILL FIND A CURE/VACINE.0
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Will someone post the url hyperlink for the bonfire, If you would be so kind as to PM me with it. Sometimes I get lost Thanks sheila
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It's not a big deal, UNTIL she gets it! naw not a big deal!
Just like its a recession when your neighbor is out of work and a depression when your out of work.
And another dumb one that makes me shake my head. Your daughter looks normal how can she be dyslexic!
May the bird of paradise fly up her nose and arse at simultaneous.
Really I just want to whack people like this.
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I am sharing that duct tape image. LOL great one
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Pil, don't tell me where you live or I'm coming and stealing that cute little Puppy Face right off you.......I had a Boston Terrier......That is our family dog of choice......My daugher bought one for her father 2 months before he died of Pancreatic cancer............
We owned a 2nd hom in Cape May Beach NJ.....He was still working as a Carpenter, and would say to me "when I retire, I am going to buy myself a Boston Terrier, and walk the beach with him all the time......................Now me with 6 children up in Pa., and at the time 9 grandchildren, there was no way I was moving down the shore permanently...........so he would say ............ok, you stay home, move in with one of ;your kids, and me and my dog will go to live down the shore.............I'm going with or without you..................so that became the joke between us...
That was our 1st Boston.....He got to enjoy that little pup for only 2 months....he died on Sept. 2nd 1991, and we gave him the pup on July 4th 1991.....He held that pup constantly, and the evening he died our little Bossman (his name) was laying at his head............But at least he got to enjoy him for a little while
Bossman died at 11yrs. old after an illness that we could not control....................in 2007 I rescued a 7 year old Boston from the woman who sold us Bossman years before......she ws going to put Bossman's nephew to sleep, and I took him.
I finally had to have him put down in 2010.....he was blind, had dementia, and it was getting cruel of me to keep him alive......he developed Glaucoma, and the vet said he was in pain, so I finally did what i put off for almost 1 year........It was difficult, cause he was my little Buddy........tiny only around 12lbs...........loved him.........
Well just a little story about my Boston, so watch out Pil, I might find out where you are, and come and steal you darling dog...............I would buy another one, but at 76, I'm not sure I could handle all the training..................then of course my kids say "Mom, are you friggin kidding, buy another dog..........for God sake it could outlive you,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,don't you just love kids. hahahha
Hugs to you and your little baby.
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ducky, if you want a dog, get a dog! If you don't want the trouble of training see if you can adopt an older dog instead of a puppy. And tell your kids that will be the most valuable part of their inheritance.
All the best.
Leah (who is actually a cat person)
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i would go a step further & leave your dog to someone you know is a dog-lover!!!!!!!!!
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