Any 40-ish survivors?

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  • christine47
    christine47 Member Posts: 846
    edited January 2012

    Kmur, would love to hop in my car and magically arrive in Ky this morning to take you for the MRI and lunch (of course apple fritter on the way back to your house).  I will be thinking about you all day instead and waiting for good report this week.

    proudmom, I need to watch the video.  I have read pieces and parts of the book to my boys.  I usually pass books on, but this is one I will keep.

    Happy Monday to all!!

  • kmur
    kmur Member Posts: 849
    edited January 2012

     Thanks Christine...I am a goofy girl...your post brought a tear to my eye...we would do all that for sure THEN ...we would have to stop at "My Favorite Muffin" and we could just get the mini ones ...they don't really countSmile..I have that nervous energy thing going..I walked 4 miles this am after taking my son to school and ( I think I was born at the wrong time cause I seem to be making friends with the sweet little old people) anyway..today I met Wally, a little old man who walks on the trail ( Papa John built for our community the pizza guy) anyway...Wally introduced himself to me and said "It is a beautiful Morning to talk to the Lord" and it was so odd because that's what I was doing...More to the story but I will not bore you with the rest...but just know I say a little prayer for us each time . It is mornings like this I know He is listening.

    You all have a great day

    Kim

  • sagina
    sagina Member Posts: 849
    edited January 2012

    Oh, Kim, I needed your story today....my friend is five years out of diagnosis, and had a seizure Friday, thought she was having a stroke....CT scan in emergency room later....she has  brain tumor.  She's certain it's BC back and mets to the brain....but biopsy will be scheduled soon.  I hope He is listening to everyone.  I've never been so mad at cancer as I am now.  The horrid part of it all is that I know exactly what she is feeling right now....not sure what is happening but knowing you are helpless against it.  

    I guess I should live life like this is all borrowed time, I am a silver lining person and I should go in search of one right now.  I think I woke up today and thought what the heck am I doing....I'm in a job I have to do to pay the bills....not something I would choose to do.....but the thought of losing health insurance scares me more than anything else.  I feel like I just have been diagnosed with her and am so mad at myself as this is not about me in the least, it's all about her.  I will be there for her, I will cry with her, and pray with her, and under my breath I will be repeating "cancer sucks."

    Sorry for the rant and rave and vent...

    Lisa~now I understand your 5 more days post.  Get some well deserved rest.

    Profbee~DW how exciting.

    Kim~MRI's suck too, but so necessary, praying for an uneventful trip though the tube and unremarkable results - that's the word I like hearing! 

  • sarah1968uk
    sarah1968uk Member Posts: 327
    edited January 2012

     Hi all!

     I'm not a religious person in the strictest sense, but I will "say a little prayer" for you too, Kim. Good luck for your scan.

    No, Mike did not put up my treadmill!  I'm no handywoman, so I'll probably have to wait till next weekend. It's my birthday on Weds - 44  - eek! So, I'll be starting my next year as a lean, mean, healthy machine - oh, yes!!!

     Are you off to Cancun, Lisa? Or did I read it wrongly? Very envious of you off to somewhere lovely and warm. I bet you're counting down the hours.

     Like your son saying "Have a magical night!" profbee - extremely cute. "Magical" is my favourite word in the English language.

     Have any of you girls got tattoos? - do they hurt to have done? Stupid question, I bet! Thinking of getting a small one on the top of my left arm. Not sure what, yet. Was going to cook home-made, yummy, fish in beer batter, chips and peas, but next door's cat dragged the defrosting fish off the counter top - annoying! Will have to make do with pasta.

     Anyway, all the best,

     Love, Sarah xx

    PS - so sorry about your friend, Gina.

  • ReadingMama
    ReadingMama Member Posts: 338
    edited January 2012

    I'm so behind, I had a wake Thursday night then we were away for the weekend for my neice (and now goddaughter) christening, which was very nice.  We are away next weekend for dh cousin's wedding, it is so unusual, our Jan. is usually so quiet.

    Betsy - our birthdays are 1 day apart - Happy Belated Birthday.  And you'll definately have to stay on this thread, its the 40ish thread anyway... (and I forget who said this, but the anniversary of my last chemo!)

    Yes, really liking the Living Strong program at the Y and getting also to meet some nice ladies.  Today was good as they only showed us 1 new machine, so first day I actually had time to do all the machines.  We'll see how sore I am tomorrow.  Kmur - you definately have to explain the measure with a pencil bit, I am imagining horrors!!! 

    Profbee - Jack will love Disney World.  I highly recommend www.touringplans.com for planning purposes, it helps you decide which parks to go to on which days and even which part of the park to go to first.  Well worth the money!  With Jack's age, I also highly recommend a nap back at your hotel mid-day, it really helps!  What month are you going?

    I HATE all MRI's - way too loud!!

    Sarah - I know not meant to be funny, but I just cracked up at the image of the cat dragging your fish off the countertop...

  • Judy67
    Judy67 Member Posts: 213
    edited January 2012

    sagina, so sorry about your friend.  Wish there was something more comforting that I could say.  I totally agree, Cancer sucks!

  • kmur
    kmur Member Posts: 849
    edited January 2012

     Gina..wish I could give you a big hug...and wecould have coffee and I would try (in person) to say something to make you feel a bit better. I am so sorry to read that about your friend..it is unfair and I do get angry sometimes too..the only thing I know to say here is that I will continue to pray and hope.

    Sarah..thank you for the good wishes and I bet that cat may lose one of his nine lives here soon if he is caught!! No tattoos for me yet. I have heard they do hurt? I think we are a tough bunch though bet we could handle it...what are you thinking of getting?

    Meegan..it was pretty funny apparently the scientific way to tell if your butt is in Brazilian shape is if you can put a pencil below your (butt) cheek...if the pencil can be "held" by your butt then you need  some work  Lol ....but ( no pun intended) if you place the pencil under your cheek and it does not stay...you have succeeded!!!  The exercises are actually good. I thought the pencil was kind of funny. I have not tried..I will report back...Lol

    I had the MRI.  I was to be there at 4:30. The MRI took 2 1/2 hours. They did the scan with and without dye. So I should know something no later than Thursday.

    Hope everyone is doing well.

  • sagina
    sagina Member Posts: 849
    edited January 2012

    Thank you all for your kind words, and thank you Profbee for checking in with me on FB.  In other news....my DD called in tears from college, her best high school buddy who she lives with now, let my DD ex-boyfriend (bad breakup last Aug) in the apt over the break when mine was home.  He helped himself to all the jewelry he'd given her among other things....She had them all boxed up.

    I think the opening of the box let all the emotions back out. She is livid and at this moment looking for a place to move to.  I feel so bad, I have no money to give to her to help pay for a place (the current place the parents are paying for and told me it was their gift to me...).  She walked away from a full ride at Notre Dame when I got diagnosed and now is loaning her way through school and now living.....

    Did I mention I'm not sure my company will be open in six weeks? Yep, it's been a fun filled day. The work stress has been underlying for a while now.

    So now for the silver linings............I don't enjoy my job.  I enjoy the people, not the work, I truly do to many things there, so much stress....so maybe if we close the doors, I'm forced to get another job, I might like the work and be less stressed.

    My DD has been unhappy with the living arrangement for a while.  She really felt the third wheel (she lives with sisters), whether she was or not, she felt that way.  So, the roomy did her favor and helped her move on. 

    Whew, there. That feels better.  Thank you all for listening.  Again, some things you just can put on facebook.  Stress just seems more amplified once you go through cancer, don't you think?

    Kim, thank you for the virtual hug and glad you got through the MRI, praying for unremarkable!

    Now for the pencil trick, we just might lose the pencil on me...better stay away from that one! 

  • burley
    burley Member Posts: 248
    edited January 2012

    CANCER SUCKS!  Every time I hear of a recurrence with someone it scares the crap out of me.  I'm reading about Gina's friend, and feeling this sore spot on my back trying to figure out what it is.  I'm constantly checking myself over, which I guess is a good thing.  My friend from my MX group has started chemo and her tumors are softening, but she also had a new one pop up.  How scary.  I'm glad we have eachother, but wouldn't it be great if we had met under different circumstances?  Ugh.

    Well I'm waiting on a counselor to call me back.  I would swear I have PTSD.  My personality is so different from who I used to be...I'm skittish, shy, anxious, depressed (if you're on Facebook, you're probably thinking I put up a good front, and I do.)  I need to do something more than just take meds.  I had originally made an appointment with a male, but changed my mind and left a message for this gal.  I need to talk about my BOOBS, my sex life (uh, the lack of sex), stuff like that...I'm hoping I can get in soon.  I'm also going to join a gym and splurge on a personal trainer-I found one and someone that I like, now I'm just waiting for the money.  Sucks when your husband is self-employed and your finances roll with how the business is doing.

    I think about all of you every day, and I'm so glad this group has found eachother and taken off.  I think we've all made some great friends.  Thanks for keeping it going!  112 pages and climbing! 

  • sagina
    sagina Member Posts: 849
    edited January 2012

    Burly, we would have never met other than battling the beast....so silver linings, I got to meet you all.

    My DD's saga....all her stuff was returned when she got back to the apt this morning...and she's moving out - so road trip for me and DH.  We're going to go help her. So there's another plus, if she was in Indiana at school it would be a 24 hour road trip! this way it's just 3.

    Feeling so much better today, sorry I vented all over yesterday.....my friend posted on facebook that she is ready to do whatever she has to do.  She has a pet scan today, full body, and sees the neurologist at 4 today.  fingers crossed. 

  • kmur
    kmur Member Posts: 849
    edited January 2012

     Kim...I think we have all been in this boat with you..I can't speak for anyone else,but I think that is why we all click here it is ok to be afraid here...I think we get that- where anyone that has not been down this road may not.  I think we all feel that anxiety kick in ...I hate that part too.

    Gina...I don't think anyone here would need an aplogy..I think we are here to vent and understand,laugh and cry too.It is so scary sometimes. I still have days when this does not seem real...I just can't wrap my brain around it.  I will hope you hear some good news today..Love and prayers to you.

  • ReadingMama
    ReadingMama Member Posts: 338
    edited January 2012

    Gina, I agree with Kim, feel free to vent, we understand.  And it's great that you are able to see the silver linings, I do too, and I hope your dd finds a better living situation soon.

  • bdavis
    bdavis Member Posts: 3,192
    edited January 2012

    Meegan... Thanks and Happy Birthday to you to and congrats on the one year anniversary of chemo ending... I still have a few months for that celebration (May).. and its true I still have another year in my 40s... Yesterday we celebrated my husband's 50th... OUCH!

    I have been skimming the thread recently... very busy... but I too get scared when I read about recurrance Burley... I try to compartmentalize and put that fear in some part of my brain that I can keep at bay. I am usually fairly successful and don't think much about recurrance, but reading stories sometimes is unavoidable... and then the beast comes out of its hiding place.

  • kmur
    kmur Member Posts: 849
    edited January 2012

     HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU....HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU......HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SARAH...... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

  • achpurple
    achpurple Member Posts: 245
    edited January 2012

    ditto

  • bdavis
    bdavis Member Posts: 3,192
    edited January 2012

    And Happy Birthday SARAH!!!!!!

  • kiwimum
    kiwimum Member Posts: 460
    edited January 2012

    Happy Birthday from me too! xx



    We are back from 6 days in Melbourne. It was fab. Very very hot, I thought I might melt. 34C or 93F for 3 days in a row.



    Busy at work today and plan to catch up on reading posts this afternoon.

  • blueyez
    blueyez Member Posts: 73
    edited January 2012

    Haven't touched base in a week or so, but good to catch up and see how everyone is doing.  Happy Birthday Sarah!!  Enjoy!

    I can totally relate to reading about the recurrence issue.  I think it's what scares each of us the most.  I know it does for me.  Good to be able to voice our fears. 

    I have an appointment with the plastic surgeon tomorrow.  Having problems with the left implant sliding around.  Don't know which will be worse, him telling me I need another surgery or him telling me I have to live with the pain. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

    good night ladies!!

  • sarah1968uk
    sarah1968uk Member Posts: 327
    edited January 2012

     Thanks for the birthday wishes, girls! 

     Sarah xx

  • christine47
    christine47 Member Posts: 846
    edited January 2012

    Happy Birthday Sarah!!

    kmur, thinking of you tonight, can not wait until we are celebrating with good results of your scan tomorrow.

     Love you all, christine

  • kiwimum
    kiwimum Member Posts: 460
    edited January 2012

    Thinking of you for tomorrow Kim. I too look forward to celebrating the good results. xx

  • kmur
    kmur Member Posts: 849
    edited January 2012

     Hi Everyone,

     Thank you for the good wishes and just wanted to say   Blueyez....I hope your appointment goes well...

    KiwiMum...so glad you had a great time ..because food is just as important as the trip ...did you have some great meals while there? 

     I did get the call about my results...I called my doctor yesterday and did not hear back..so then my mind really did get to thinking...I called again this am and my doctor did call back personally ( I really do like her alot) anyway...it is NOT BC ...so relieved about that...because I can only remember bits and pieces of what was said after...this is what I got from the conversation...She said it is not a normal MRI in that I have a tear in the thoracic near the scapula ( I think this means in the shoulder area which is causing some disc issues). She said this pain can be felt all the way down to the low back.. so she said no wonder it is hurting. So I said YAY...it is just my bad back...I will take that!! She said she is not ready to send me to the neurosurgeon yet so I will just try to stretch and get better.

  • kmur
    kmur Member Posts: 849
    edited January 2012

      Just had to say again....THANK YOU for your thoughts and good wishes....you girls are really the only ones to know about it...Love to all of you Smile

    Have a good day

  • christine47
    christine47 Member Posts: 846
    edited January 2012

    kmur, I am sooo happy for you!  Just like you I was worried (I worry for all of you and myself).  All those little prayers do pay off. 

  • mamachick
    mamachick Member Posts: 154
    edited January 2012

    Hey!  Just catching up!

    Gina- I am so sorry to hear about your friend.  She and you will be in my thoughts and prayers. I am glad you can vent on here.  Don't ever feel like you can't get it all out.  Easier with us than with your family.

    Kim-  Glad you scan was "okay"  I know it wasn't perfect, but I am glad you got the results you did if it wasn't going to be perfect.  Still hoping your back recovers.  Maybe all the DVD's you are watching and doing will help.

    Sarah- sorry I missed it, but happy belated birthday!!!!

    Profbee- jealous about the Disney trip, but so excited for you.  Can't wait till we can take ours, maybe later this year or early next.

    Kiwimum- glad you had a really good trip. Sorry you have to get back into work again.

    I too can relate to the recurrence issues.  Glad to say that I had my 3-4 month check with the Onc. and everything is doing well, so I guess I will try not to worry my life away for the next 3-4 months.  Now I can just concern myself getting ready for the next procedure.

    I know I missed something, but have a great evening/day everyone!

  • burley
    burley Member Posts: 248
    edited January 2012

    Yay Kim on the results!  WHEW!  I'm so happy for you.

    Hi Tracy!  I haven't met you yet-my fault.  I hope your appointment with your plastic surgeon went well, and he was able to sort it out for you.

    Met with the counselor already-nothing like laying your life out in an hour.  I see her again in two weeks-I really liked her.  I seriously wanted to blurt out, "so do you think I have PTSD or what?"  haha.  She did suggest I needed to do something meaningful with my time so I've submitted 3 applications for volunteer work.  We'll see what happens.  I'm hoping to find something soon-unless they do a background check and find out that I'm crazy...oooooo

    I hope everyone had a terrific Thursday, and here's to a fabulous Friday :-) 

  • lrr4993
    lrr4993 Member Posts: 504
    edited January 2012

    Burley - LMAO about blurting out PTSD.  I would have walked in telling her that I have already self diagnosed it.  No need to beat around the bush with all that talking and feelings crap.  Just get to the point.  

    Kim - So happy to hear the good news about your MRI!!  Sucks that you have back problems, but at least it is not cancer.  I nearly cried reading your post.  It brought me back to the day I got my PET scan results and thinking about that always makes me cry (even though it was clear).  It is such an unbelieveable amount of stress to go through scans once you have been told you have cancer. Hopefully that is the last one for you in a long time.

    Hi to everyone else too.  I am crazy busy this week trying to wrap things up before vacation next week.  Ugh.  So tired. 

  • blueyez
    blueyez Member Posts: 73
    edited January 2012

    Awesome news Kim!  well sort of, lol!  Glad it's not cancer and hopefully something they can fix! At least you know what your dealing with now. 

    Burley, thanks for the welcome!  Totally get the PTSD!  i think we all have a touch of that after being diagnosed.  Instant fear when something about cancer comes up again.  Hopefully the counselor will help. 

     Everything went about as expected today.  I do have to have a surgery to deal with the left breast implant, but good news he's doing the nipple recon at the same time so I only have the tattooing after this next surgery!  Hopefully all will go well. 

     Have a great night ladies :)

  • ReadingMama
    ReadingMama Member Posts: 338
    edited January 2012

    Kmur - so glad about your scan!

    I've been trying on dresses to wear to a wedding this weekend.  The one I like best is a red short-sleeve dress that I always though my stomach sticked out too much and hence have never worn it.  But thanks to the magic of DIEP, it doesn't now, YEAH!!!!  Silver linings, right?  But I am always cold and a night wedding in January? even though it has been warmer than usual. So, my second favorite is a black dress that is long sleeve, but a little older and I've worn before, but who knows to where and when? Still deciding and have to find shoes and purse and jewelry tomorrow.

    Was bad today with exercise, it was raining/sleeting so my walking partner cancelled (since she went to gym in am and just goes to talk to me) and I ended up never going out.  Am sore today from Living Strong program this week, but must definately get out there tomorrow.  Since I started (this is 3rd week), I've only managed 4 days each week, 2 of the Living Strong program and 2 of walking 2 miles. 

  • kmur
    kmur Member Posts: 849
    edited January 2012

     Thanks to you all again..

    Christine..I feel the same way about all of you..I do worry and think about you too. And pray. I know He must get so tired of hearing from me.

    Mamachick..good to see you ..when is next surgery?

    Lisa...I know..waiting for results  (to me) is so hard. That relief is just..so great. I will really need a good Cancun story...Lol   I'm excited for you!! Feels like I'm going

    Kim,  So good to read your post...I feel as though I am right there with you...I saw a counselor when my parents divorced. ( once again I have not told anyone this) I went in to her office not knowing what I would say...the next thing I knew I had spilled my guts ( sorry ) and was sobbing...thats a pretty picture...I guess what I mean to say is I was trying to be strong all the time ..at work..with friends..my family.. and at the time of just letting it go..I really felt better..on a lighter note she did tell me ..." If being happy means being away from them ( mom and dad) then you need to do that" I know this has nothing to do with BC but I think we are so pushed to be strong and fight and then when everything is "all done" it is kind like now what?? I will stop now ..don't know if I am making sense ....I really hope she will make you feel better.

    Tracy...I know another surgery...but one step closer to DONE...YAY!!

    Meegan....I am loving Live Strong...We do exercise as a group. Weights..treadmill and then stretches. Next week we are doing the beginning spinning class. Today I may try PiYo ..I wanted to try last week but chickened out. I may look into volunteering there. The volunteers that assist us are cancer survivors. Oh ...the red dress...have you thought about a little wrap or a scarf??

    Ok I'm done so sorry to ramble ..wish we could talk instead...I am sorry if I missed someone.

    have a great day/afternoon