Single life after a mastectomy
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Enerva- those hair videos are nice! I wish I had long thick hair, but I have short fine hair these days. But I am happy with it. I am going in to the salon again in two weeks to get some highlights on my new hair and shaping before I go on my trip to the family wedding. Gotta look good for the fam.
If read your notes right about the work, they are basically putting you on the different team with a different boss. That your job responsibilities may change some, but that your level and salary should not change. Ask them to put that in writing, on e-mail or the like so you have a chance to think about it over the weekend and ask any questions. Maybe that bad boss wants you off his team, and good riddance to that, but just make sure he is not screwing you. Your job may improve under a better manager. I will say when I hear Level 1 and 2, I hear a different level of position and perhaps compensation, vs. Team 1 or 2. Just be sure he is not trying to demote you.
Life- my CNP told me the last time I had my check up in July with the MO's office that estrogen positive cancers "like to come back." Were you ever able to get your bone density test done or do you need that job with insurance to do so?
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Single sisters- our BCO sister Simplicity is having a rough day today with pain and more since her MX last week. If you are on her FB group she set up, go visit. She needs our encouragement.
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BB- that is great news on the free job training. I say anything that comes your way with that may lead to something! It is good to know what you are able to do or not. I could have had regular work this year out of state if I was willing to get on a plane every week for out of state consulting work. But I cannot do that type of thing anymore. Well, it was never in my business model, but I have tried to find someone that would be agreeable to at least every other week. Even on contract work, some orgs just want slaves. I now just tell people 25% travel, up to 50% max if needed.
I am working on my contract with the prime and we had a good talk about my document comments today. She is going to go over them in more detail next week and then I should be able to send them off to my atty for his review next. All this stuff takes time, it typically takes a month to get a contract in place with anyone. So we are just going into week 2 on that. I am trying to get the non-disclosure in place first as they may have some other work for me before we get the auth on the work she has discussed. I will tell you that other work I am very excited about, it fits with some of my passions. Still waiting on the work auth for that though. And all the people involved I know through something else I have been doing with a committee with a prof org. So I am trying to do my part and hope things continue to come together. I still have two other possibilities too, one I hope to hear on and another I need to follow up on soon.
And glad to hear the nice man you went out with asked you out again. It is good to have someone to enjoy things with.
Whew, that stalker is gone. One of my weirdo stalkers from the past has been looking at my Linked In professional profile. He is a guy I knew from one of my client sites and tried to attach himself to me professionally. Then he tried to get me to agree to have him move in to my house. And oh yes, he is gay too. I told him I was not looking for a roommate, a biz partner, etc. He got fired from the client site after awhile, but still lurks around. Something very not right there. I won't have anything to do with him anymore, even in passing. Bad mojo!
Going to a yoga class shortly.
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BB- interesting what that man said about sex in 3-5 dates. I would not be interested to be intimate with someone that fast after everything that has gone on. And I think a man who lost a wife from cancer might react either way to that news. I learned going through cancer treatment that people either are not scared by it and don't run away, or they do. The thing is, sometimes you don't know how people will react even if you think you do. If you like him, it might be good to be honest sooner than later so if he feels like the need to move on, neither side is wasting time. I hope you can have fun with the dating thing. The whole on line thing was not fun for me and I won't do it again.
The work I am waiting on is not a job but a contract through a company to do work for a client I really want to work for. I expect to do other work besides that, it won't be FT. But it will be a start and I am trying to add other gigs. That is the nice thing about having your own business is you can pick and choose your work. I won't have to travel much with this arrangement, hopefully the others either. I have not been desperate enough to get on a plane, but may have to if this goes on much longer. This year has been a not good one for my biz. But I have had banner years too, so you plan for those times.
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oh .well I am not sure but I do want to move to report to a different manager lol I spoked to the new manager and he says he ll love to have me on board so I ll try. The only problem ll be the rotation of hours and the on call cell phone is a must 😈😠
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jazz I want to know if we comentarle on simplicity s fb will our contacts be able to see that?
Humm I am jot sure I keep my bc out of my fb account. I want to tell her I wish her fast recovery I also think maybe she over did it at the time she was out. She was too active and maybe she needed to keep retina as much as possible? I know it was not easy recovery for me either but I know and understand why she didn't feel like rating much .we all want to get well fast.
I have had some restless nights this week
I hope tonight I ll sleep
Planing on turning off cell and blinds shoot lol
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Enerva- if you accept to the closed group she created, then no. I have worked with closed groups before and your stuff is kept private. I have had concerns given my need to keep my stuff out of my prof network. I will send you the name to your PM.
If you just accept the regular friend request through her profile, then her contacts and yours will see it. I did the group accept only. I am trying to provide support or explain things.
Well, I hope the new job is better. The on call part won't be fun, but I hope the new manager is better. Can't be worse, right?
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BB- this man sounds good. Someone who moves slow is what you need. I like it.
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Morning everyone. Hope all are well. I'm healing good after my surgery. Drains are doing good. I need to go shopping today for some athletic bras. Really don't want to go but not something I thought about before surgery. Turns out Dr removed 19 lymph nodes, 18 were positive
My chest looks awful and is very concaved. Not something I was prepared for really. Is what it is I suppose. I've been so tired and sleep is so spotty at best. My mobility is good thou except my right arm. I can't extend it. I get a sharp pain like something is being pulled. I've been taking it easy but it's hard for me to sit still. Always been like that. Right after my first born via c section, I walked up 5 flights of stair in the hospital. Not sure wth I was thinking lol And I went down to the neighbors for a visit the day I got home from mastectomy. I've had my shares of surgery and typically bounce back fairly well and quickly.
Enerva-I can respect/understand wanting to keep bc off your FB. Hope all the work stuff pans out.
Jazzy-Thanks. You've been great
Estrogen positive likes to come back huh? That sucks. Wonder if we'll ever be free from this chit. Hate the thought that it will always be in the back of our minds. Nice that you can work contracts. I'm hoping to be there one day once I'm an empty nester. Good thing about this field. Bb-Glad to hear the dates are going well! I envy you. I'm so paranoid about maniacs that I can't do that until I feel like I know them a bit and they're not very patient on the online dating sites. They don't wanna take time first. But I'm glad to hear your so happy about this one guy. Feels good huh?
My special friend was hoping to visit this weekend, but again, life gets in our way. But we have moved up to signing off with I love you's
Idk how this is going to pan out, but I'm all for trying. Funny thing to me is I loved him before I even kissed him and I think it was the same for him. I never woulda thunk it. 0 -
Simplicity- glad I have been able to help and good to see you here. I agree with BB, 19 nodes is a lot and I am sorry so many of them had cancer in them. I have scars on each side where the sentinel nodes were done, but have to say, they have healed nicely. I am still self conscious of them and try to be sure they are covered if I do sleeveless or wear a little jacket or sweater over if they are. The hardest part was when I went back to the gym and was swimming, but chose not to sit in the hot tub if other people where there. I found a swim shirt that covers my whole chest for those times I need to have things covered. I don't want the questions or people looking at them.
The soft sided bras will be important and maybe you can send someone to get a selection of them and bring them home for you to try vs. going to the store. You seem to have lots of people who want to help, ask one of them who can do that for you? I could not do stores for a long time, too hard and you have to be careful about trying stuff on after a surgery. I was at Kohls yesterday and will say if you have one nearby, they have all kinds of great options there. It is where I got my soft stuff when I needed it. Target and Walmart will work too.
I am glad your friend is keeping in touch. I am sure he will get out to see you when he can. Maybe he will be the man to take you out for a ride, something to eat, etc. when you are ready. Those little baby step trips are awesome, my friends did those for me as I worked through my recovery. I am glad he is keeping in touch with you and it sounds like the feelings are there.
BB- this man sounds nice and seems to be very good about taking things slow. That tells me he is interested. Although I think most younger men will always push sex, I don't find that in mid life. Some will if that is their agenda, but by letting him show you who he is, your attraction may build with time. Trying to relax into this with out the need to compare things with your past relationships. Those men were for a different time in your life, you are a different person now after everything and need someone who is patient and kind. Being treated well is the most attractive thing about a man to me these days. I hope you enjoy your picnic!
Getting some house things done and going to a prof org dinner later this afternoon. I finally decided on a little black dress with comfortable shoes and a fun pair of dangly fun earrings!
Wishing everyone a nice weekend. Fall is moving in here.
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Simplicity I am glad u feel a bit better regarding fb don't worry jazz told me it's all private lol I am an ignorant when it comes to fb lol hey I wanted to tell you that me too my right arm lymph were positive plus my right breast margin also was positive so radiation was my only path to try to burn those remaining cells. Try not to think about it much make plans and keep the mind busy that way in a few years u won't even think about the positive lymph I did it and now I don't even remember unless someone talks about it lol
This is a very hard journey and I am sorry we are all in it but I think we are very special and strong so we must continue to be ok for as long as we are supposed to. I think your arm ll get better I had the same .couldn't rase or use much of my right arm for a good 3 months .it takes time
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ok I give up lol here is my try at making the hair like in the video lol
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Enerva- love those posts. Encouraging for us all, thank you!
When I had longer hair, I used to try to french braid it by myself, which is so hard to do! Your hair looks nice that way!
Doing some fall cleaning today before I go to my event in a few hours.
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oh bb that is such a good idea . I hope the lady calls .
Well my scars are very visual cuz they are darker than my skin I ll take pictures so you all see lol
Jazz yes hair braid is not easy then I cut a little my front bands so now kind of thinking I should not have done that ha ha ha oh well I am just in the road to grow my hair long so very time I cut an " I regret it lol
Ll be back before I notice.
Bb yes I ll take the job I thought about it and I seems the best solucion for now
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hummm ok I will try to practice at the braids cuz I really like how they look on the girl in the video lol but its not as easy as it looks. I miss my long hair so I am trying to be patient take the vitamin and stay away from harsh shampoo lol
Bb I must say that losing my hair was just brutal I think if I had straight hair it could have been easier but I remember how you felt then I know it's just not good even with straight hair it is so important for some of us. Bc was a bad nightmare which still hunt me sometimes . My new oncology Dr ll see me on Sept 21. I am hoping for some scanning but I don't really know what to expect anymore
Well its midnight I ll go to bed .
Hope you all get some rest tonight
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Enerva - I hope the change in position at work is good news. I know you haven't been happy at this job. By the way, I like the braids. Coincidentally, for the first time in years, I put my hair in a French braid the other day. It fell apart, but I love braids.
Jazz - No one ever told me that estrogen-positive BC tends to return, but I've read that it does tend to, if it is high grade (like mine). I haven't been able to get that bone density test or any of the other tests I was supposed to have. All because of the money problems this year. The medical bills have me in so much debt. My credit is ruined. :-( I hate to admit it, but I also miss my medication dosage sometimes, and I haven't had a blood test in a year. I have had my checkups, but I can't wait to have a full checkup for everything. I hope you're enjoying the event tonight.
BB - The legal paperwork isn't quite over just yet. And, no, he's going to throw me under a bus any way he can. I even found out more info recently, but I don't want to write it on the forum. Oh, well, we do the best we can with our circumstances, right? Glad to hear the stalker is gone and you've found someone you like. It's good to read that you're having fun. BTW, I've noticed free training is offered for unemployed around here. I'm assuming that's the program you've been admitted to. I hope it works out for you.
Yes, I've heard about the 3-date rule, too. I think I'll be out of the dating game forever now. I probably mentioned before that someone became angry with me because he wasn't getting anywhere with me. lol I got a few free dinners out of the deal, though. lol
Simplicity - Glad to hear you're doing better. The lymph node removal is what causes the trouble. My nodes were removed the first MX. For the second MX, no nodes were taken, and I could extend that arm with no problem. But, after the first MX, I couldn't extend my arm for a while. Just take it day by day - you will regain mobility soon.
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Life- I learn new things every time I see one of the doctors. I had a lower grade cancer, but as we know, there is not always a rhyme or reason to when it comes back. when or where. I think the risk around ER positive cancers is why they push the AIs and other drugs so hard.
I did not end up going to the prof org dinner tonight. I had a strange pain start in my lower leg/ankle a few hours before. It came on suddenly and I have not had any injury to the area, but started worrying about a stress fracture. I took it easy, iced it, etc. but started thinking about the drive up and back and being on my feet a lot and perhaps better off not going. This was not one of those critical must do events like I have sometimes (I do have one of those on Tuesday). It was an hour drive each way to this, up in the Santa Fe area. I think I would have made an effort if it were in town, but involved two hours of driving so I decided it was just not worth it with not feeling great. I was going to go with a couple other women too, but they decided yesterday to drive up together on their own due to schedule issues. It became complicated. I think this reminded me again I am the type of person that wants to just show up to things in town that are local and a few hours! Live and learn.
I noticed tonight I felt some burning in my feet and toes and worried I may have a neuropathy developing. I have had some blood sugar issues in the past, but those are very stable but going to check my fasting glucose in the am. I have a home kit to do so. I am working hard right now to loose weight, pretty much stopped eating processed carbs all together. Going to watch this issue and see what happens. I had some problems with my back the past few weeks but that finally went away, and now this. I am always glad when I have a day without some sort of pain somewhere.
I am sorry about all the financial problems and your credit. It is good to have the divorce behind you so you can go build the life you want now. A job with benefits so you can get all the care you need to. You deserve it and so much more. Know you are worthy and procede!
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Love the pictures E and think the braid looks great!
Jazzy-hate you didn't get to go but hope the pain goes away. Hate that it can just jump on us like that.
Bb-3-5 date rule? Psssh. I never followed unwritten societal rules very well
Do what makes you comfy. Life-I don't understand why it has to be so hard. Or why some have to e so spiteful.
I'm one who really likes definition and clarity. I wish I could get one or the other from him but we both tend to defer once we start the topic lol Been a long time for the both of us.
I don't have any incisions under my arm. Think she did it all through the nipple incision? I have to admit, I have no clue what some of y'all's definitions mean. So many terms to this bc stuff. Mine was listed on the orders as a 'modified radical skin sparring mastectomy on the right. And a skip sparring mastectomy on the left' Idk All I know is my girls are gone and my chest looks awful
I was kind of glad he didn't come. Was afraid for him to see me. I look horrid.0 -
Simplicity- well if your BS check your nodes through the primary incision, all the better. I am sorry your chest looks so awful. Incisions are shocking to see. You may want to wait to show your friend the way you look until later. You are going to have recon and may feel better to show after that. We are not beholden to anyone to share things that are hard for us.
My pain is gone, but found my blood sugar is a bit high. I ate a lot of cantaloupe this past week from the farmers market and guess is spiked things. I think my body was letting me know things are not okay and making adjustments.
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Life i hope everything get better soon for you and your boys. I am stage 3A also Estrogen positive and yes i heard my bc comes back we saw what happened to my relatives. I honestly dont care about it anymore i now act as if i am normal as much as i can and yes i have the worry in the back of my mind but i try not to even go there lol i am more piss at my scars and the way i am not strong overall as i used to be. that really bothers me. here a few pictures not sure if you will see it bad cuz in the picture it does not look that bad but in real in my bathroom mirror it looks horrible lol specially cuz the made the lymph node scars so high i can not hide it only if the none sleeves are cut high under my arm which is not easy to find cloth that are made like that. Simplicity not sure if you see the cords under my arm? in one picture you can see it . it bother me and the only thing that helps is yoga stretches.
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I found a few old pictures i cant even recognize myself ;(
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I had one meal a day yet i was fat like a cow , let me know if you want to see more pictures i found lots from after BMX
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Enerva- great photos to help Simplicity see where you have been vs. now. Your incision is pretty high up in the armpit. They are not easy to cover but I find some things that are cut higher on occaison.
You have come a long way and glad you are not thinking about it every day. I don't think we can and live well post treatment. I remember how consuming the cancer thoughts were during treatment and awhile after. It gets better with time (good news for you Simplicity!)
I just got a call to my business phone for a breast cancer donation. Pinktober fundraising is beginning. It is for an organization that helps women to pay for treatments. I like the concept but won't donate to people who solicit on the phone, too many scams. I just share this because as the donation season begins, be careful if you get these calls. My sister got one this summer and having had bc as well, she donated and later found out the organization is a scam. I think I will make a donation to BCO in October because this site does help so many women.
How is Lily doing? We have not heard from her in awhile?
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Tomorrow is my 2 year cancerversary. I felt a relief to get past the two year mark. Three will feel even better.
BB- I too am worried about Melp. I hope she is doing okay. Melp, we are here if you want to talk?
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Simplicity look more unbelievable me pictures .
Me in march 2013.
I was like 9 month pregnant but not food I vomit everything I try to eat chemo had destroyed my digestive system.
This is me now lol
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Thanks Enerva! I dont think the scars look bad.
Im doing delayed DIEP reconstruction. The drainage tubes have a suction type effect, so Dr says that'll even out.
Looks awful right now but I have seen photos of months/years down the road.
Not sure I should have this in here. Not very encouraging looking
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ok we can pm each other but trust me it ll all look better after its all done. I had Implants placed at the time of the bmx so that is why mine were full. But your surgery does not involve implants so you need to wait for the skin to settled in with the tissue they placed. You will be ok oh yes it is up to us if we share pictures here or not but we here do not get discourage cuz we know the process and we are familiar with it all please keep positive and remember we are here with you. One day at the time it ll all get better.
Mid night here I can't sleep and have to go to work tmw .I ll check the lottery again to see if we can stop worrying about money .
Good night. Try to get some sleep. You need so much rest .your body needs it
Sending you a hug and lots of strength
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Morning ladies . I took sleeping pills at mid night and then now I didn't want to wake up.
I haven't taken the pills in a wile. Inmsonia is another present from this bc.
Simplicity hope you got some sleep. I remember no been able to sleep
Hope all have a great week I must find my dentist number due to changing phones I lost it and yesterday I look everywhere. Hope she is on google .
Love you all
Ll let u know what happens regarding the job lol
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hi all. Few weeks ago I found out I might have ovarian cancer as my tummy was really big. Lots of tests and biopsy later last week after being in hospital for a week went to gynae oncology and found out it's not ovarian cancer. I have a tumour in each of my ovaries which is making fluid build up in my tummy. It's called kruckenberg tumour. Also have small tumour in my lung which is causing congestion. It's a recurrence of my original breast cancer.
So the plan is no chemo as yet but they are trying to shrink the tumours with zoladex and hormone tablets. Then we will work out if I will have surgery to remove ovaries if not everything. Already have a fibroid in my uterus
Thanks jazzy and bb. Still processing everything but I have lots of support
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Melp- I am glad to hear you don't have ovarian cancer, but am sorry to hear about the mets to the lungs. I am glad your doctors are on top of things. You are going through a lot here, and no doubt processing everything. We are here if you want to talk.
Simplicity- I can understand why you were so stunned by the way things look. But like E says, it all looks better later. Doctors do great work with recon, my sister had an MX and her PS did a great job. I saw your FB post the drains are itchy and hope you get those out soon. Are you able to sleep okay? Pain manageable?
Enerva- ha, let us know if you win the lottery! Not worrying about money would be awesome!
Wishing everyone the best day possible.
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