Single life after a mastectomy
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E - wow, that's pretty awesome!! and you rock being the only girl there!!!
Jazzy - yeah, i've been enjoying the book tremendously. I didn't see being single as a social movement but wow, the author gave me a complete different perspective. i do appreciate the fact that we as women can choose to marry or live alone and we can be financially independent. and sometimes it just kills me when i have a conversation w my mom that she thinks i am so pathetic that i don't have a family while she cooks three meals a day to serve my dad who's always a glass never full kind of person, and he's very controlling...and i am like, do you really see that kind of life is better than stand on your own??!!
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WOw June, you go girl
I agree 100% with you. I used to adore my mom for how honest she was at times she would say " don't listen to anyone , if you are happy single then be it. Look at my life and do not get marry just cuz others say you must" ha ha ha My Brothers on the other hand were always saying how not normal it was for me to be single. that i was to have kids and a husband to tame me down ha ha ha bunch of loser that is what i say.
Yesterday i felt great been the only girl in that group but at the same time i felt a bit weird i wish there could be more female riders. There are lots here but they ride with a team of females and no many like riding with the boys which to me is Bull s . lol
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Good afternoon ladies- saw my PCP today and things were good, my BP was great, lungs sound good, going to get some updates on my lipid profile, and my doc came in with a little graph of my weight loss the past few years and was all happy. She was amazed and pleased by the weight loss and told her I had been working hard on it, along with the endocrinologist.
Then I got the bad news that my endocrinologist is LEAVING the healthcare org. Sigh. I finally get someone to help me and make some progress with the weight issues from the AIs, etc. but here we are. Anyways, the PCP was not sure where she was going but decided to get on top of it and portal message her. Hopefully she is staying in town and I can see her with another group. I see her again anyways in a couple more weeks before she is gone in October. I need her at least through next year as I come off the AIs, and some other things could change (like blood sugar stuff). Will get my blood work done this week and see how my cholesterol, sugars, and Vit D
June- I think I always felt I was part of a social movement, because I got SO MUCH PRESSURE from my mother and others in my community where I grew up to go to college, but also expected any of your dreams would go to the wayside once you were married and had kids. That was during a time things were really changing for women and many women were going back to work (divorce became a much bigger thing in the 70s). I got those same questions all through my 30s (even while helping sick family) and by the time I had moved away and was in my 40s, the questions stopped. There is a lot of social pressure for people to marry in those decades. The stats now tell you the number of single people is 1/3 or more and on the rise. I never really wanted to be married, too constricting for me. Glad you are enjoying the book!
And both E and June, given you were not raised in the US, I think the social pressure is everywhere for people to marry. Especially women. But June as you mention, we live in a country where we have different choices. Not true in all parts of the world. Also true about family planning, which is a huge game changer for women. The best advice I ever got early on was from my grandmother who said no matter what I did in life, don't have a baby too soon. She said that based on personal experience.
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lol jazz my mom had 10 kids and no way to take birth control pills. After I was born her and dad took separate rooms. And I know she did not sign up for that. She was our angel never lade a finger on us loved us all and manage to not remarry after my father past away she worked 2 jobs and never thought about her. Only us . So I think same as your grand ma mom did not want us to have kids early. Then when one of my sister git married and had a boy. Her husband past away the baby was only 1 year old. And my sister went back to our house and practically gave the baby to mom she rased another baby.
Still never complained but I think that one of my sisters and I who didn't get married nor had kids we saw mom faith and also the struggle our other sisters had so we were always greatful to be single in a way. Lol
Sometimes I do wish I had a great guy to hang out with but then I think .nahh is not really that important.
Funny yesterday I saw how the old guys were checking girls as they passed by and I thought in my mind wow how sad. Old dudes looking at girls whom could be their daughters kind of sick
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E- I never knew you had that many siblings. I have a family of cousins (Irish catholic) with 11 kids. Wonderful family. My aunt was left by my uncle too and put herself through nursing school to help support the family. She used to tell me "it gets easier after the fourth one." Eeek, just no!
I think a guy to hang with is perfect for you and for me. Sometimes if you meet someone, good to just say that "hey I am busy with work, school, etc. but would like to hang out sometime." Sometimes men are busy too and don't want anything more either.
Old men want some one to take care of them. A young chic is perfect for that. You better have some money though guys.
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Someone is cooking something good downstairs.. sigh. Just had a homemade tuna salad yesterday as the lite day before today, the liquids only day.
I will never drink beef or chicken broth alone again. Made me nauseas. Tried chasing it down with iced tea and lemonade but the film is in my mouth and throat. Yuck.
I had heard how awful the drink is. My gastro said get 2 10oz bottles of magnesium citrate (no red, blue, orange color liquids) so I got the lemon. It wasn't bad. It was like pure lemon, very sour. It did have an after taste like a sweet n low gives but I chased it with lemonade and it was better. People are doing something else and say it tastes terrible. Glad I'm doing MC. Also got dulcolax. At 5 PM popped 4 pills and drank 1 bottle. Set alarm for 3:30 am to drink other bottle and pop 2 pills. Need to stop all liquids at 5:30 am for my 8:30 am procedure.
4 hours in and not bad. I'm sure my starting lite yesterday helps with today. Not much to flush out. Happy about that. Shouldn't be a rough night ahead, well until the 3:30 am alarm goes off. Won't be falling asleep after that. Friend will pick me up at 7 am.
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Artista- wishing you the best. Prepping for any surgery is never fun. The not fun before the bigger not so much fun. Wishing you a good surgery and recovery. Let us know how you are doing when you can?
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Oh Arista so soon ok we are here hoping you make it ok can't rememver if u got a friend to pick up . All best of luck
I am doing laundry now cuz I didn't on Sunday lol
Hate laundry day
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Well, I got through the prep and just stayed awake after the 3:30 am dose until 7 am when my friend picked me up. Kind of cute how people at the surgery center know me by name now. Ha! They asked me 2 different times what the output looked like to make sure it sounds clean in there. Room was like an exam room except with anesthesia and other stuff for the procedure set up. I thought it'd be in the OR but it was on the second floor which is all endoscopy procedures.
Gave me twilight anesthesia so I came to a few times but quickly went back to sleep. In recovery it's always hard for me to wake up from anesthesia. Once up, they gave me a drink of my choice and snacks since I was beyond starved and my stomach was angry. Not near as bad as chemo, but still wasn't pleasant for a long while afterwards.
Gastro came to me as I was waiting for my friend to pick me up and said 1 polyp that they sent to path, and I have diverticulosis. This is caused by a lot of pressure that creates pockets in the colon. I'm betting having the constipation issues that I had where meds didn't even work during chemo is a big culprit. Diverticulitis is when these pockets become infected or inflamed and that comes with sharp pain that doesn't let up. So my lower abdominal discomfort that comes and goes is not intestinal. This leads me back to thinking it must be my uterus that my cancer meds are irritating.
Anyway, just checked my online chart to see what the path says, and it's tubular adenoma. Had to google what that means. Basically it means pre-cancerous tumour. It can quickly grow, multiply and turn cancerous. Gastro wants to re-do procedure in 6 mo - max a year because it wasn't completely clean. There's a possibility that some polyps was missed if they were really small. He'd give me the gallon of can't remember the name, something lite. I thought oh hell no, I'm done. But after reading up on it, I may change my mind in a year. Depends (pun intended) on my mood and what else may be going on with me.
I was just told to increase fiber in my diet, which I have. I'm not about to go vegetarian or vegan..
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jazzy - the best advise my mom gave me was to have my own money even if i do get married. i think financially independent is so important...the moment i made my own money, my dad could no longer tell what i can or cannot do. my dad thinks women are inferior animals and only education can make me considered a person, just a person, not a person with value. thinking back,, i think deep down he couldn't get rid of the thinking that women were inferior but i am his daughter so he wanted me to be respected by other men but still no matter what he says to me, he still demands my respect. ugh....
in my 30s...i wanted to have a family so bad....right now i am okay. i accepted the fact that life is hard enough. i can barely take care of myself and make myself happy and content, not looking for a man to please, and cook him 3 meals a day, do laundry for him and wipe his pee off the toilet bowl. i really think financially independence is the real reason women chose to be single. why bother when a man doesn't see us as an equal?!
Artista - i think drinking a lot of water can help w constipation.
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Artista- glad the procedure went well. I have had two colonoscopies so far, polyps the first time, none the last time (last fall). I am on a five year plan, sounds like they want to keep a closer eye on you. I had a relative whom I think had a similar tubular one and had to have it surgically removed. So they may need to be sure this does not come back. To me colonscopies are something that can find those pre-cancerous things and they can get them out before they become a problem. I just read too that more younger people are getting diagnosed with colon cancer so they may be dropping the age from 50 down to 40 or so because of this.
I also have the diverticulitis. I have had IBS most of my life, even before they had such a diagnosis so constipation, diahrrea, gas, etc. can all inflame the intestines and the pockets are very common. Hopefully you will have no problems with infection in the future (I have not).
More fiber how ever you can get it (more fruits and veggies), fiber supplements, etc. is good and I find that eating yogurt every day helps my digestive system to keep working in a good way. My favorite yoga these days is called Siggi's and is low sugar, high protein. You can find it at Whole Foods and other more health related grocery stores, but also finding it more in the regular stores now too.
I hope you slept well and are feeling okay today. I personally feel a bit off the few days after anything with anesthesia, even stuff like this. Take good care of yourself!
June- your mother gave you good advice about having your own money. My mother came from a family of money and did not work once she was married, but did know how to manage money and paid all the bills in the family. My father was an engineer and wanted all his kids to go to college (he pulled himself out of poverty by getting a scholarship to Brown Univ. back in the 1940s), but also had very traditional ideas about what women would do for work. He told my sister she was going to be a teacher and I was going to be a secretary (after college) until we got married and then would stay home. My sister became an MD and I became a scientist with a masters degree. My dad got on board with our plans once we made them clear, my mother never did though. They were the product of their post WWII era generation about the roles women and men should have. But in the 1960s-1980s, it was all changing for women. You likely have some similar traditional attitudes with your family and culture?
BB- most of the men I dated in my 20s and 30s, some whom I went through college or grad school with, loved the fact I was career focused and could make my own money. But every one of them wanted a woman who would give up her work and stay home with or without kids. It was never a conversation about what I wanted, more of a "let's get married and this is what you will do." More traditional values. I don't think what happened to you was unusual, given we have similar backgrounds. I have a side story to share with you on this I will PM.
E- hope you are enjoying your break from school. The last episode of Game of Thrones this weekend
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Thanks Jazzy. We have a whole foods here so I'll make note of that yogurt. I love plain and always get the non fat or low fat. They are high in sugar. Does this one taste good? Love the low sugar part as I eat yogurt with so many foods but hopefully it doesn't taste like a "diet" yogurt.
I don't have the greatest will power on upping veggies and am not a huge fruit fan. I'm sure my high red meat consumption played a part. I've cut down on that some but food is my only vice as I am alone with a friend I see maybe 1 x a week and at that we go out to dinner. sigh.
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June- your mother gave you good advice about having your own money. My mother came from a family of money and did not work once she was married, but did know how to manage money and paid all the bills in the family. My father was an engineer and wanted all his kids to go to college (he pulled himself out of poverty by getting a scholarship to Brown Univ. back in the 1940s), but also had very traditional ideas about what women would do for work. He told my sister she was going to be a teacher and I was going to be a secretary (after college) until we got married and then would stay home. My sister became an MD and I became a scientist with a masters degree. My dad got on board with our plans once we made them clear, my mother never did though. They were the product of their post WWII era generation about the roles women and men should have. But in the 1960s-1980s, it was all changing for women. You likely have some similar traditional attitudes with your family and culture?
jazzy - yes our family or mostly my father is very traditional, we're chinese fyi. i honestly don't know that many men hold so little value on women like my father does. most of my friends, it's their mother wears the pants at home but not my family. i think it's the only family that i know it's the father does all the naggings, pays all the bills, doesn't lift a finger on the house chords. back home, it's toilet seat up which prints a clear image. this book really got me thinking a lot about the value of women and how we've always been placed second best.
BB - yes...money is actually very important.
i recently had an incident with an acquaintance of mine and i no longer speak to her. while i was looking for jobs, she asked me how much i was making and how much i was going to ask, she's 10 years junior so i told her thinking it's just for her reference. and months passed by, she's looking for a job.....and she told me so and so offered her $X amount which is 10K less than mine and she said that's too low. i was like WTF did you want to tell me. i didn't confront her but i was very upset about it. i could not keep a casual r/s w her....i just can't. it's just very disrespectful of her to do it. even though i don't think she's aware of what she's doing. the entitlement of those new generations (Gen Y) are ridiculous.
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Artista- I really like the Siggi's flavor. Not as strong as the ones that have sugar or artificial sweetners. They interesting flavors like coconut, mango, strawberry rhubarb, etc. I had a new chocolate one yesterday that is delish, but would probably not have for breakfast. Try one or two, and they often have them on sale at WF. Yesterday it was 4/$5 vs. almost $2 each. I think you might like them!
June- I watched my parents marraige and saw my mother who came from money and liked the finer things in life work against my father's mentality of scarcity. Both grew up in the Great Depression, but he grew up in poverty so he carried that "don't by anything unless you need it." But in their relationship, it was clear my mother always had to ask to spend money on things, including stuff for the kids. Not that one would not have those conversations, but it was that permission thing like BB talks about. He definately expected my mother to provide the meals, do the laundry, keep the house up, etc. Our parents definately taught us much about those roles in marraige. But I do think things are changing, younger generations coming up are getting better at the balance because it is more and more common for everyone to be working somehow?
I have had friends try to find out things about my income or promotions or the like and been screwed every time. It is not just a millenial thing either. Some people do it to just try to leverage themselves within a company. The last time it happened to me, I helped a department put together a program that they took to the board of directors, and the woman I was working with on it was highly competitive. She asked me how I did on my review that year (I got one of the top ones) and said very well, but that was all. She took that and ran with it even being that vague and tried to say she deserved the same and more money (we got annual bonuses tied to our reviews) because she was the brain child behind the program. But they knew I was and when I left that company, it felt apart and within a year of it she got fired. So believe me, what people do to you, they are usually undoing for themselves. You made a good call to not be friends anymore. Sorry it happened though.
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I'm scared to ask how many oz for $2 ea at Whole Paycheck.. :S
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Artista- It is like 6 oz, a small one like you would get with most other brands. That is why you want to get them on sale! I have seen them ranging between $1.69 to $1.89 here, depending on the store when not on sale.
Here is the web site. Looks like they have a way to sign up for at least a starter coupon!
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Thanks much! I saw that Rileys near me that's a regular market sells it. Nice! If I go in Whole Foods I'll be tempted to buy their cooked meals, and I really can't afford that.
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Artista- definately will be more affordable when not on sale at non WF stores. I don't shop there regularly either, too expensive. I get in trouble at the deli myself.
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jazzy - yes things are changing for the better in terms of gender roles in the household setting. i hope this is moving the gender equality to more aspects in life. what republican's view on birth control and abortion right is just so backward. honestly i actually very enjoy being a woman, to me, i feel like i don't have to put on this "tough" facade, to be strong and dependable, sexual needs, and i can enjoy fashion without being perceived as gay, and men fashion is quite boring if you ask me.
thanks for sharing the work drama....and i am glad that the justice served when she's fired. and it sucks that it's kind of common (from what i heard) for women do it to their fellow women comrades. and she's the one brought up about women's right and equal pay all that bullshit hence the sharing. and months later, i got the blow. no good deed goes unpunished....
and i want to share this documentary with all you ladies "Class Divide" by HBO, you can stream it on youtube. it's very compelling on the juxtaposition of the haves and have-nots. i live in ny and very aware of that neighborhood and realty development bc of my job. i actually didn't think of the gentrification when i was working on the project in that area and now watched it, it's very mind blowing.
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June- thanks for the suggestion to watch that. I have HBO, HBO Go, etc. and love their documentaries. There is a very large class divide here where I now live. I moved from one of the wealthiest states in the country to one of the poorest. And through the decades, i have watched that gap widen. We started our march towards being 3rd world awhile ago. Current admin is trying to expedite that I believe.
Wishing everyone a good slide in to the weekend!
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hi friends
I rented a canoe and went for it lol had a great time and I think I ll try to buy a kayak eventually. But only issue ll be the storage
took some pictures of my adventure. 0 -
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happy Monday everyone!!
E - i really admire your adventurous personalities....sometimes i felt like i need to do something more interesting instead of couch-potatoing
Jazzy - i am on chapter 10 now. though i shared most of the sentiments in the book i can't help but feel if i missed something. i've always been longing for some kind of companionship even a real platonic friendship would do, just some emotional support. but most of my friends are married off, and i am alone. i do enjoy my independence but sometimes it just gets so tiring. the r/s i have w this on/off guy is getting to me, he's looking into his retirement and still has a strong tie w his ex, due to their assets issue, he's been spending a lot of time w her in their city. i've been spending a lot of time on my own and it's getting to me ...sometimes i could reach out to couple of ppl in my building that i've hung out with, but the conversation never really get too deep....i can talk about being single but man i just can't keep talking about how to meet guys...something like what we have here is quite theraputic to me.
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hi friends. Well I am exhausted from yesterday came home super late left the bike at my girlfriend where it ll stay for the season. No point of riding anymore is too cold. Yes I hear you bb bur where my friend lives is private property and most folks are old so I was no afraid to find crazy people or mean ones up the river. Ha ha ha the only crazy enough was me. This lady is well past 70 and she doesn't mind me visiting there and playing with her garden or tree base lol which is looking pretty same plant I have in my balcony I put it at her tree and it bloomed lol I also got some sun even though I use protection
Here is the flower.
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Good morning ladies- I have some virally stuff going on since yesterday but hoping to push through it. Busy week ahead and have some fun things planned for Labor Day weekend so I want to be better quickly! Laying low today with only my must do's and hope to be coming out of this soon. I have not had any bugs since late last year so doing well this year so far.
Got my blood work back from my physical. My blood sugar is really good these days, cholesterol and trigylericides are up again but think that comes with the med change we did. Seems I can have one or the other? I see my endocrin. in another 10 days and will see what she thinks!
June- I think the book is an interesting history around the rise women's independence in the US, but still think the imbalance is STILL there between what women are expected to have/do vs. men. Men are allowed to have their careers, families, even travel for work a lot and not be around much (know many men who do this in sales and consulting), but the expectations of women more of "you can do this OR that". I do think it is changing with the generations coming behind us.
I will PM you about something else you shared about your friend.
E- that looks like a lot of fun! I did some kayaking back east on the rivers there and loved it. Unfortunately, our rivers here are more intermittent in the desert and most of the kayaking here is more white water in the spring melt waters. Definately buy a kayak when you can. There are probably kayaking groups around if you want those too.
BB- thinking of you and hope you are doing okay.
Artista- are you recovered from your procedure last week?
Lilly, Simplicity and anyone else here, be well friends
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ahh jazz, i missed GOT last night cuz i was on a train coming back home but i will watch tonight before bed.
i cant wait hope is a good one.
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Glad your labs look good Jazz! I have the same issue with triglycerides and overall cholesterol being high. I have very high HDL and low LDL so I guess I'm 1/2 good. Never could understand how all this works when some is good news some is bad. Not sure docs do either.
Preop today. PS took photos at different angles of my foobs. He showed me how he's going to make the right one more even with the left one that looks great thanks to radiation keeping it up and nicely formed. That's the good se of rads I guess despite all the infections and the lymph fluid leak I had on that side. He'll do a little fat grafting and maybe take some from the left side to fill in a dent I have on the right. I may have drains. He said that last time and I did. I'm quite obese so I'd be surprised if I don't have at least 1 on the right side. I had 1 on each side last Dec when I went from TEs to perm implants. Being pooped and fatigued all the time always gives me great bp. It was 122/76. Another good se to go with this sucky one. Labs at the infusion center in the am.
Wed- Mooshy goes to be boarded for a week.
Thurs- Friend/housekeeper comes over to do a deep clean and laundry as I can't haul baskets across the parking lot for the wash.
Fri- Sx around 10:30 am then off to my friend's house a couple or so days as she has no stairs, unlike me with a mountain out front.
Tues- Post op
Wed- Pick my fuzzy girl up.
Hope everyone's having a good start to the week!
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jazzy - glad that all the checkups got good results.
E - just saw GOT tonight....he's having sex w his auntie...ew....
but my fav part was the little finer part....go sansa!
BB - how are you??
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June- that is one thing I don't like about GOT, the whole "keep it in the family" thing. Jamie and Cersei too. Dragons are cool, incest is not!
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Well, my baby is now at Andy's Pet Shop in San Jose. Packed her up and took her there this morning. So far away. The entire way there which was a long drive she was facing me at the carrier door. Never does she do that. She's been boarded before and I always got her butt facing me. It's like she sensed I'm having sx, don't know how, but she was very tuned in to me all the way there vs ignoring me with a view of her butt all other times. Heartbreaking as I'm telling her mom will be ok and I'll see you in a week.
Had never been to this place before. Looks like a beaten down building so I was taken aback some because the photos on yelp look better than what it is. I spent a ton of time labelling everything as hers including her veggies, treats, toy bag, etc. Checked her in with a large sticky of what she gets and when (am vs eve) all in an attempt for her to feel some sort recognition in this foreign and not as nice of a pen as I have of course. She is mega spoiled here with me tuned in to her all the time. I know she's wondering what the hell.
My biggest concern is they don't have a/c, just high up windows and fans. Guinea pigs can heat stroke fast. I was reassured that she'll be fine. There are other piggies there up for adoption. One was in a pen on the floor wheeking (the cutest noise they make) basically wanting something like veggies or something. So cute but felt so sad when the guy told me he's pretty close to be declared abandoned. Owners are way past due to come get him. This SO pisses me off! I mean it's a good place to leave abandoned animals as it is a rescue where if you want an animal there (and they are ALL rescues) you need to attend a class on the care, have your home checked out, supplies, etc. You can't just walk in and buy one. They care about where the animal who's been left behind goes next so it won't happen again. So my heart broke seeing him. I went over to see if I could pet his head but he ran into his iglo. Doesn't know me plus not going to be tame and laid back as Mooshy. Everywhere she goes or I leave her I am told she is very laid back, quiet and easy to deal with--not to mention so cute which of course I agree! I tell them my being home all the time with her pen right next to the couch where I live and tending to her very frequently creates this not just in her but birds I've had in the past.Anyway, they told me that they have ice water bottles they can go lay next to. They'll keep an eye on her. It's just going to be nuts with the extreme heat not seen in 10 years here... over 100 degrees! Our very hot is max low 90s where I am. Inland's hot is up to 110 but they are slated to 115! So yeah, am worried about my girl. Nothing I can do now. Sx is Fri and everything is too in motion to postpone it, esp my mind set.
Then I get a fb message from my bff who's going to let me stay in her place which is a 1 level house to help me for a couple days or so after sx since last time I did need help, esp getting up from that lounge chair to go to the bathroom. My bro has always been up for sxs, always on hand and a big help. This time LA schools have started already and he has a project he can't leave so no bro this time. So bff is asking me if it's ok that she go with her dau and her kids to half moon bay Sat and come back Sun if she sets me up and her bro Anibal is on hand to help. That would be fine except for one thing. He's a druggie and an alcoholic. He always has great intentions but sometimes does things which is followed by a I'm so sorry. He doesn't like being home all day and is famous for going out for long periods of time. This would be a prob as that'd leave me stuck in a chair I can't get out of on my own to go to the bathroom or stretch or whatever. I'll admit I'm a bit miffed that of all the warm weekends that this one is chosen to go to hmb on the coast. I understand her dau in Sac are looking at 120 temps and want to escape the worst which is Sat/Sun and she'd want to go along but she's known about my sx for awhile now. I come from a fam that would never ask this. There's a/c in her house. Leaving someone out from sx with an alchy/druggie who is very nice and usually very helpful but you don't know if he'll suddenly disappear wouldn't be on our radar. So after I calmed down I wrote back saying "I guess. Hopefully he won't disappear or for long as I'll need help out of the chair like what bro did for me last time." We all stayed at her house so she saw bro helping pull me out of the chair, even a couple times in middle of the night. His room is all the way down the hall. Bff has a roomie in her mother's room since June where the bathroom is right next to this chair in the living room. Can't use it so I'll be making my way down the long hall and into her bathroom. I won't use his in the hall because he's hep C, who knows if he's currently infected, and I can bet the bathroom isn't sanitized. Not a good thing just out of sx. I never use that bathroom when I go over there, always hers in her room.
Took a 3 hour nap after that trek and now need to muster up the strength to get things together for when my friend comes over tomorrow to help me deep clean so when I get back in here it'll be clean. Am tired just thinking about it. Ugh.
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