Single life after a mastectomy
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BB- no I did not do chemo. My bc was very early, very small tumor, no node involvement. Just surgery and rads.
There was a question at one point due to my oncotype score (23) that says I have an "intermediate risk of reoccurrence" which translated into something like 15%, but they only recommend chemo for those who have an oncotype score of 30 or higher. No status to show the benefit of chemo for anything less. I consulting with two MOs who said the only reason I would do it is if I wanted to treat it aggessively and get it down to a 1-2% chance. On the arimidex, it cuts my reoccurrence in half to like 7-ish. I can live with that.
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hi girls
hope you guys are doing well .i had lots of assigment due so busy with studies .i met a lady she is 40 years old and BRCA 1 positive and she is healthy and doing well .her family dr discussed her all option about hystractomy and prophy .mystactomy funny thing is she asked me does these surgeries have any effect on her married life i was smiling in my head .for me cancer made huge mark on my life emotionaly.physically and showed me real face of my so called life partner .Till death do us apart ......this line is not for me .i told her first go for hystractomy for your kids her daughter is only 2 yr old .its strange that how our physical appearance is relative to our relation ships.
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Milky - Glad to see you posting again. I hope you're feeling better these days. I think it's good that we found out about our so-called life partners before it was too late.
Enerva - I think crying is a healthy thing to do. I wish I could cry these days. You're better with plants than I am, that's for sure, and your friends' garden is lovely. I'm so sorry to hear about Bluebird. I didn't know her, but I'm surprised to hear that she passed away. It seems such a short time ago that she was DX with mets. :-(
Jazzy - I'm sorry for your losses, too. I lost my father seven years ago to a different type of cancer. I wish he were still here. I keep thinking of how, sitting next to him at the hospital, I had no idea that, at that time, I myself must've had a tumor just beginning to grow.
Piper - Your job sounds so wonderful. I will find a way to post pictures soon.
BB, everyone - Goodnight!
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Do you guys know what is reiki i heard its to cope stress and relief pain
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What have people's experience been with dating ? I am single also...i am a young 45 year old
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Stix- welcome! I have not really resumed dating yet, but am thinking about it. Other ladies here may have better insights for you.
Milkyway- sounds like you met a new friend/bc sister. One of my sisters friends I saw back east is BRACA positive and had ovarian cancer awhile back (but is live some 20 years later despite a met to the brain too). They now have found some bc, and she is trying to decide what to do and talking to doctors around the northeast. She is in her 60's, in a relationship, but no children. It is one of those very hard personal decisions.
I love your thought for the day too. I have a couple people in my life I am moving further away from these days. Exactly for those reasons stated in that photo. It has become so clear those who care and those who have some other agenda.
Life- I am sorry about the loss of your father. And amazing to think that as you were saying goodbye to your father, your own bc was starting.
Piper- how long are the babies you take care of in the hospital? I know there are preemies that can be in for a short period up to a year. I never knew about the long term care for NICU babies until I was doing a project for the hospital and visited the long term NICU. What a hard way to start this life and so hard on the parents who don't have the child with them. I am glad those parents have someone like you to take care of those little cuties.
Going in to see the BS this morning as part 2 of my follow up process. Will let you know if there is anything else we will be doing to check me out. Hoping to be past this one by noon today.
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Stix, welcome, I haven't start dating so I am not the perfect person to say much about it but I will as soon as I get my next exchange surgery next month. I am ready to get back in the game lol
Well I want to be ready lol let's see what happens
milkyway love the msg, that is very hard to do lol I would like to send it to my ex ha ha ha
I actually had a better time sleeping last night, we'll around 1am but without pills so that is ok today is one year since mom past away
I was thinking that when I decided to move back to my room I didn't realize it was close to her been gone one full year I am sure I will need a long walk today, maybe I will walk further
Have a great day all of you
)
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Just for fun. I wonder if any man would be brave enough to live on this street?
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hshaha... i bet not
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lol funny
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Hi ladies- good visit with the BS surgeon today. She told me I look very healthy and all looks good. Should be it on the bc front for another six months.
Next doctors visit is next week to the derm for something on my scalp.
My health over all seems to be much improved after all my recent blood work, tests and other visits this past month. Gotta focus on some weight loss next. The doctor scales were 4 pounds less than the gym scales yesterday, I like hers better!
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that is great news Jazz. Have you thought of switching around the times you eat carbs? I did it and I lost very fast all the lbs I gained lol
Carbs in the morning and then proteins in the noon up to 2 pm after that just steam vegetables or soup or fruit but no carbs after 2pm
I read about it in a book lol
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Enerva- I will try that. Because I am borderline diabetic, my doc told me no more than 45 carbs per meal and not to skip meals. I was careful about it for a long time but been more lax the past few months with counting the carbs. I gave up sugar a year ago, only eat sugar free now but have to watch the carbs there too.
I have heard not to eat much after 6 p.m., which I am going back to doing, but no carbs after 2 p.m.? I am going to try that and will let you know how it works. I pretty much am a protein and veggie eaeter these days with a bit of fruit that does not load up my blood glucose.
Thanks for the suggestion!
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i am trying to cut sugar, cut in half now to 1 tsp in my coffee used to take 2. For me the no carbs after 2 has work wonders. I actually eat my most carbs in the morning then my lunch has the protein along with salad or steam vegetables then for dinner just soups or steam vegetables or fruits. I am now use to it and I must say I feel way better. After chemo I had very poor digestive system so the light dinners do work so far so good. I read by eating light you can actually lose weight during your sleep hours. Lol apparently the brain creates a hormone when u have carbs earlier in the day which take those carbs n turns it into energy. I can't remember exactly how it works but i am a prove it does. I lost all the lbs and I have been able to maintain it. In the past I was always 5 lb over then lose 6, then up again there was not way to keep it off now it's been off for 6 months
it took me around 3 months to lose around 17bls and keep it off. Here is the book I read but is in Spanish lol
Well u get the idea. Basically it says there is no need to prohibite food we just need to change the time we eat those foods lol
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jazzay girl my friend who is BRCA1 positive never had any kind of cancer miracles do happens but offcourse she is in danger zone
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Piper, this one is for you!
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ha ha ha what a face lol
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Jazzy so funny.
Stix, welcome. I believe we are all figuring out where we are and where we are going. That said....My Male BFF once told me attitude is everything. I am beginning to think I should start listening to him.
My preemies may be in the hospital for weeks or months. Depends on when they were born and what their problems were along the way. Quite honestly, My true specialty is Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome. There are very few of us who are committed to this area of expertise.
Any how, what it comes down to is working with Infants and Mothers whose infants are born exposed to opiates. There are many forms of substance abuse, I deal mainly with those infants who experience physical withdrawal from opiates. It is a complex disease for the woman. Many are trying to work through their addiction. Many have troubled youths, mental health issues and many have also made poor decisions or have had pain pills prescribed and got hooked.
I had a nurse observe me with my babies today and she remarked...."You really do enjoy working with these babies". As frustrating as it can be...Why yes, I do find some sort of satisfaction in my work.
I work hard and form close bonds with many families and parents. It is an area of work that no one really desires, but under recognized for all of the little things Me and a small group of nurses are trying to do.
I had a good day today. albeit busy.
A group of peeps from HS were meeting tonight at a place not far from my home. One gal I know well, but the others I really do not. I almost bailed. Went and I have to say I had such a good time. Laughed so hard and found out a couple of the guys were friends with the guy I went to prom with. One gal I do not know well., Confided some of her divorce happenings to me. She is very positive and found a bit of common ground. I cannot believe I am in my 40s and still figuring out where I belong and who with. But would I be on this journey if my life had gone a different direction ????
Nahhh
TY ladies for being here at this time.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Piper
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Piper- god bless you for working with those wee ones who come into the world under not the best of conditions. As you mention, you are doing work that many other would not choose, yet is so important. And the fact you love what you do speaks to the fact it is your calling.
How fun you got together with the group of HS friends. When I saw my gal friends from childhood days on my recent east coast trip, it as far more enjoyable than I could have predicted. Something about going back to the old days when life was simple. We talked a lot about fun days gone by, people we all once knew. I am glad you enjoyed yourself.
I think we all wonder sometimes how our lives would have turned out if we had made different choices, chosen different people, etc. Sometimes we just need to accept everything that has happened so far has taught us things we need to know. Easier said than done, but I believe this to be very true!
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piper that is funny about the prom guy hahaha
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Piper that is such a wonderful job. You know when I spent time to the hospital and I was practically living there for almost two months with my mom. I went home once a day to shower. Anyway I helped the seniors who came our room there were 2. Some how they hot sent to other hospitals or released before mom. So I thought 💭 why didn't I study to do something like that. The seniors need so much love and understanding and their families only go there at the visitors hour then leave .I was by mom bed day and night I took vacation to be there I could not leave mom alone . I then question why I was in the work field I am today .Lol
Now 40 I feel so confused as per what will I end up doing lol
Bb sending hugs hope you get better soon.
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BB- I am sorry you are continuing to have a bad time with your ex and court issues. I know it is not helping your health either, so very stressful. Try to get out for a walk or something today to help your spirits. I am sorry for your sadness today. Hugs sister.
Also, I think they look at your pathology along with the Oncotype score to determine if chemo will benefit you. From 18 to 23 is the "grey zone" with respect to clinical data and about benefits vs. risks. I think you had a higher grade tumor than I did and that may be why. Higher grade equals more chance of spreading. I think they look at everything around this before the advise you about doing it. I had a very conservative approach to my care given it was very early and slow growing, I know my team did not want to over treat me. That being said, I am sure they gave you the right treatment for your particular case.
Enerva- I think once you are past a bit more, you will feel more ready to get out there. You still have your final recon coming up next month, yes? You need to focus on taking care of you, the dates will come for you as you are a young beautiful woman with much life ahead of her.
I woke up middle of the night and watched the old 1980s' thriller, The Shining! Not the movie to watch middle of the night, scary! I am going to go to play some music today at a jam session. Something I have been trying to get back to since it all went down and today is the day. Also got invited to sit in at a session on Thursday with some friends playing on a patio. I play jazz flute and sax, starting out with the flute today as it will be the easiest for me.
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i need to share a history with you my single ladies.
Men every day disappointe me more.
So I have a nephew who lives in Spain, málaga he has been in a relationship for 5 years he very young only 25 lol he is very cute and his girl is beautiful I adore those two. Anyway they are both French born in France. Moved to Spain two years ago just to try something different since he is not in love with France lol anyway here is the history. 8 months ago he went to Venezuela to visit my sisters and brothers so his anties and uncles, cousin etc the girlfriend went to France to her family they usually do trips like that. The trip went well and everything seam ok. Now a few months ago I heard he was planning to return to Venezuela for a month in July. Then they both are to move to Canada Montreal yo start a job here. That got me very happy since I have no family close by in Canada. But still I was surprised That he was travelling again to Venezuela. Anyway he arrived and niece, his sister arrived a week after they both went to visit and see my sister and be with my side of their family. Well what is my surprise when one of my sister tells me that my nephew was hanging out too much with a particular girl. Meaning cheating on my niece in law. I asked, whatttttt? Whatttttt? She told me that he met one of my other nephews friends and that somehow now was going out and spending lot of time with a girl and that the entire family did not know what to do about it. HOLLY I GOT SO PISS. That litler sh it. So I ask a lot of???? And then my other nephews and nieces confirm by pm to me that yes, he was cheating.
Now I got an email from my sister in France all confused saying that a few days ago her and my bl found out that my niece wants to leave my nephew and that they talk to her cuz 5 years is a long time to just end like that bla bla bla ooooooooo I hot so mad.
I am sorry but I had to tell them the true and I did. Lol so now my sister and her husband are devastated but they know and at least they will give the right support to my niece in law. I feel like I could kill my nephew for been such an as s hole.
Can you guys believe this. He was trying to make it look as if it her who wants to end things when in fact it was him who call her and broke off on the phone and also is f k I n g some other lady back home.
So I just want to share this so you see how men are dogs at all ages lol
I am staying single for now lol my surgery coming up will be my focus I ll pm you all so you see what a beautiful couple they were
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i agree, we need to wait a bit
I am not sure how to go back in that dating pool lol
But next year I will try e harmony lol I have friends who found great man in there lol
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oh I need a serious site and e harmony has some reputation I must try it but next year. I am not in a place to date now lol
I see my nephew been a dog and it makes me feel sad 😔
Hope the next guy I meet will be loyal lol so hard to trust, it's like a game I don't know I want to play yet lol
I must focus on other things
)Thanks for the tips but e harmony ll be my next and last ha ha ha I used lavalife in the past and never connected with any man but my ex lol we know how that turn out he is now my long distance friend .Lol
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piper this is for you
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yes this is the first bc sister I know to lose her battle with c.:( it also made me go to a sad place I was last year so I am trying to let it go cuz i feel fbb and my mom will want us to keep going. To remember them as happy as they were before the parted. Just try to be positive yes loves one leave our world but here we are and we need to keep it together. So I am off for my walk now. Don't feel bad I myself saw the pictures of the dog hugs and went back to remembering the times with my own dogs which always makes me sad too. You are not alone bb.
Love you
Off to my walk now lol pole walk here I goooo
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Enerva- I got your PM. Your nephew is just a coward. He probably wanted out of the relationship and twisted it around try to make it her fault. She is smart to want to get out now. A man that cheats even before things get more invested will do so after. It is too bad, but he did her a favor by showing her who he is NOW vs. later once they might have a family together. I am sorry he has disappointed everybody.
I don't have good role models in my family of origin, at least in one side of my family. Men who control, abuse, are lousy providers, and cheat too. I dated a lot of men like that too. I take my time getting to know men now. Like BB, I am not all that interested in sex (and yes, I don't think the arimidex helps).
BB- you have some very good goals there with your health, work and feeling good about yourself and accept who you are. Have you looked into an of the certification programs in the area at your local community colleges? That may be an inexpensive way to get some new skills and they can often help to get you in front of the right people for work. Many have scholarships etc. for those in need going back to school to retool. Something you may want to check out when you have the time. You keep taking care of you, this is what bc teaches us.
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Oh and on dating web sites. I tried them a few years back. I never liked any of the matches I got on E-harmony, but think they do a pretty good job of trying to match you up based on your background, education, religious beliefs, common interests, etc.
I did date a few people from Match.com and met some okay guys. The first guy I met I had a great conversation with, but could tell he was a player and that would not work for me. Another guy I went out with a few times, and we had some fun together for a few months, but it became clear he was still involved with a woman he followed out here from the east coast (and she was also now married). I let that situation go once that became clear and that he was just looking for "friends" to hang around with when he could not see her. Several people I have known have had some good experience with Match.com.
That being said, meeting people for coffee in neutral places is usually a good way to start anything really.
One precaution I will give you based on my experience. There are people out there who will post these gorgeous pictures of a man, and when they contact you, will tell you you are the most beautiful woman they have ever seen, followed by some really huge SOB story. My wife died in childbirth or from something else. In most cases, they will give you a private e-mail to contact them as they are "dropping off Match.com soon". These are usually Nigerian scammers trying to get you to trust them and then get more personal info to scam you. Usually not written in good English either. If you get one of those, block them.
I think Match has something called Chemistry.com and Over50.com for those who are in that age bracket (like me!)
And if you are not familiar with Meetup.com, check that out too. I am not sure they have this in Canada but they might. People in your area who are into similar things like concerts, rollerblading, reading groups, etc. I did those a few years back (before it all got crazy) and met some great people. If I do anything again, I will go the Meetup route as I like to do group things and meet people that way.
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