Radiation recovery
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Run, thank you for having the courage to email Tracy and get the info we so badly wanted. I am saddened by the news but she is safe and being cared for and for that I am grateful. Please add me I would love to send something also.
Charger- take a rest, sounds like a nasty fall.
April, oddly enough I also work for a non profit and am up for a big promotion that I am fairly sure I will not be getting. My BC has gotten in the way no question about it. I even mentioned in my interview that I didn't want my illness or lack of one to be a factor. I shouldn't have had to say that! I have the opposite situation there are 10 applicants and the one I think will get it is 20 yrs older than me. She is experienced and deserving but personality wise she is not a good or nice person. Whoever gets it will be my boss.. UGH.. We have diversity issues and I am also not the diverse they are looking for.
What will be will be and I will hold my head high and continue the good work that I do no matter what happens. Good luck to you, I hope your day will come.GiGi- I get how you are feeling totally. I am not the same as I was but I think I am better than I was. I don't have the patience to put up with BS and do get frustrated much more than pre BC. The reality is we have all been though a lot and if you haven't been though it you just cant know. The fear for me was the worst. I cant even think of the day after my DX, my eyes fill with tears when I think of the moment I realized that BC was really happening to me. I only post rarely to other threads with newbies coming with that fear. I wish I could more but honestly its so painful, maybe just too soon. I want this to be over which is odd as I sit here swollen and sore with a body I don't recognize right now. I have faith when I am done I will be beautiful.
One thing I am and we all should be is PROUD, we are strong woman and we keep on keeping on! When I think back over all that has happened I don't know how I did it but I did and that makes me very proud of ME. much love~
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Lemon, we were diagnosed within a few weeks of each other, and like you, the day after I was diagnosed was about the scariest day of my life. I kept thinking, "The fear alone will kill me." It was like a tsunami of fear. I am so grateful that I didn't stay as scared as that. You have now had more surgeries than I have, and active treatment has gone on longer for you. But I think all of us will continue to have a pot bubbling on the back burner when it isn't on the front burner. Or a spin cycle going, or name your appliance!
Josie, I'm glad you reached out to your counselor. It's good to document what's going on, medically and emotionally and at your job.
April, isn't it strange getting older and finding that younger people are starting to run the world??? I remember how shocked I was when I realized that the First Lady was younger than me.
I can't remember who it was that came up with Kate's full real name--such an important break in the case. I so hope things will improve for her very soon.
Janis, how heartbreaking about your two sons not getting along. I hope they can put their baggage aside and give you a great 60th. I've had my troubles with my sisters--we are generally very close, but they have done some things that deeply hurt me--but the one thing I decided was that I would not talk to my mother about it, although we're VERY close. I thought, that's something I can do for her to sweeten her later years. It is hard though. Your sons may not have enough other people besides you that they can talk to? Anyway for your birthday I certainly hope they can come together.
GiGiL, that is so interesting about how different your two sons are! I totally get what you said about being compulsive and disorganized. I would describe myself the same way exactly. Being a compulsive person makes it so much more exhausting to be disorganized or to get organized! It sounds as though a lot of us are feeling that our priorities have been reshuffled, in some good ways and some problematic ways.
Cindy, that would be amazing if you could go see Kate. Have you met up with her before in SoCal?
70charger, I'm kind of horrified that you got a concussion today and spent a bunch of time in the ER!!! I hope you can just lay low for a bit and recover properly. No more contact sports for you right now!
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Here Josie, I did just a little poking around, starting here at BCO and then following links. These links are about what kinds of protections from employment discrimination we have as cancer patients, even when our cancer is in remission. It's a start.
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OMG I can't believe I missed that post from Run free.So glad that we were able to get some info on Kate.If Tracy doesn't want to give us the address about her option would be if we could send the cards to her and she could make sure Kate gets them.
Thanks so much for reaching out to Tracy.We would never have known if you hadn't.
70 charger, ouch get feeling better.It took me a good week to get over my head injury.Just walking from the car into work got me feeling bad.Seemed like any form of exercise would get my headache going and make me feel shaky.At least you were smart enough to get medical help.I'm lucky I did ok w/o.
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Hey y'all--I just realized that if Kate is having chemo, she must be doing fairly well--they don't wallop you with infusions unless you're pretty OK. So there's some good news in that message. Yay!I'm another compulsive/disorganized person. I guess we have our own mini club here.
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Right, it's sort of a good sign that Kate is getting chemo (all things considered), and being in a rehab facility suggests less dire circumstances than being in a hospital. But it's kind of heartbreaking to think of her saying "I'm really sick!" given how firm she's always been, at least as far as I've been aware, about minimizing bad news. I love the idea of sending cards to Tracy to take to her. I will ask if I don't hear back from Tracy in another day or so.
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GGil, I really felt like you nailed it with your description of how we feel and what we go through after our cancer.Thanks for sharing I m glad I'm not alone.And can I join the disorganized club.I'm not compulsive though.I too have been working harder to clean up and get rid of stuff.We are having anouther GS this Saturday at my mom's.I hope to get rid of a lot.
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catching up here .... So grateful that you got an update on our sweet Kate, RunFree. I'm in the cautiously optimistic camp myself ... Agree that she wouldn't be getting chemo if she were in really bad shape. I'm sure she does feel pretty lousy and sick ... We are all rooting and praying for a turnaround. I agree with Brookside that I feel better about her having round-the-clock care right now instead of the intermittent visiting nurse. Cindy, I know Kate would be over the moon if you visited her! :-). I would love to send a card and contribute to a cheer package.
Trying to keep track of everyone ... It's been a busy several hours since I checked this thread! Gigi, your post was spot on ... I struggle with executive functioning (but can also be meticulous), especially since the Dx. Lemon, you are already beautiful now! But I hope you truly feel that way about yourself very soon. Janis, I'm happy you're going to have a special birthday gathering ... Families can be really tough. I hate to hear about troubles at work that some of you are having (April, Edwards, Josie ... Did I miss anyone?) ... Josie I'm happy you're taking the proactive steps that the sage women here have recommended. Charger, ouch! Please take good care of your head!
Hello to Sew and SAB and everyone else I might have missed! Love to you all! xo
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Gemini, nice to hear from you.
Guess what that phone call I made to my counselor, well he called me back and will see me no charge to talk about thing and talk about getting that documentation for work.
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RunFree, thanks so much for posting those links earlier.Very good info especially the one on the disabilities info and the workplace.I really ought to give that to my boss.
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Run, I would love to send a card to Kate.
Janis, I just got all misty thinking about how wonderful that day will be when you finally get your boys together.
Spring is here and the little organic farm stand near my workplace opened for the season. I brought home blueberries, strawberries, baby lettuces, spinach, tuber type radishes, an avocado the size of a mango and an empty wallet!!! The food was picked that morning, so delicious and worth every cent.
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I just read back the 2.5 pages and my head and heart are full...
First, you are an amazing group of women and I am feeling we have so much in common. I agree -- Gigi you described me...I talk to myself all day saying "focus .. focus .. focus.." Or, as Dory says, "keep on swimming, keep on swimming...." When I do focus, I am amazed at how easy the tasks are when taken in little bites.April, your situation is tough. It will be awhile before your strong feelings wind down a little. I had a major disappointment when I was hired 10 years ago. It took time for me to accept. Once I did, I think my attitude changed because I was treated better.
Janis, what great news. I remember you saying your younger son wanted you to go to CO but this sounds like the perfect solution for all. I do hope both boys can make it. And you deserve it, really! How wonderful that you are finally feeling better after the surgery.
Josie, it is great that you can talk to this counselor. It is good to have your feelings and situation validated; and to develop a plan for yourself.
Cindy, be sure to remind us when you are going for your workup...I would love a pocket ride to CA. Did you mention June birthdays? Are you a June baby? Thank you, Cindy, for your encouragement in your post.
SAB, Happy birthday to you! What a nice celebration you had. You deserve it!
Run, congratulations on doing that race. Awesome! And regarding the email from Tracy, it does sound like a very difficult time. Maybe we'll get a little more information. I think we all know what it feels like to be sick and not care so much about the world out there. But it would be nice to send support and gentle hugs to Kate. So sad...
Sending hugs all around.
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SAB, hoping you have a wonderful birthday!
Cindy, it would be so great if you could manage a visit to Kate while you are in CA! I know she would be so happy to see you and you could give her all of our love and best wishes.
Hoping that we can get an address to send Kate cards, balloons etc. I know she must be so lonely without computer access! She always had her tablet with her, even during chemo!
Charger, hoping your recovery is swift. Take it easy. Concussion is nothing to play around with. REST!
Josie, hang in there chica. There really are laws that protect you from harassment during recovery from cancer. Make sure you stand up for yourself and protect yourself.
Sew, I have also been the "young manager" in my past and do understand that there is bias on both ends but I really did deserve this promotion. The good news is I do like the new manager. It would be infinitely harder if I didn't or if it was someone I was not aware of and would begin my time working for her in a negative frame of mind...it is all good, just a bit shocked that I was overlooked. This person had this exact same job for another agency for the last 5 years so she does have more recent upper management experience than I do. I have been middle management since my day of hire and it appears that there I will stay...just a hard pill to swallow.
Lemon, hoping they surprise you with the promotion. It really isn't over until they choose..remember that! Also, diversity is uber important in NPO's as you know. If they are lacking in that area, you know they will try to find a candidate that is qualified that will fill some of those spots that are lacking. That is pretty much a given. The board of directors have a lot of say in this area and may be advocating for a remedy to this issue and rightly so...or we as women would be behind the 8-ball as well. Diversity is very important but always more so in our world. And, you are already very beautiful! Nothing has changed by removing your breasts. You are still YOU! xo
Gigil, I hope I am wrong about my BC having a part in not being chosen, but I can't help but wonder. My attendance was still way above average and in fact I missed less time than the two young mothers on our staff if truth be told. I just missed more time than I ever have before. For example, when I had my two surgeries, my doctor wrote me out for 3 days each time which is 6 days right there. I have not missed 6 days in an entire year the whole time I have been with the agency until last year. Between all of the doctor's appts and the treatments, I missed a total of about 3.5 weeks last year...a whole lot of time for me! Hoping it was not a factor, but I can't help but think that it was...sigh.
Gemini, good to "see" you!
Also, I am thinking you are all right about chemo being a good sign for Kate. They just go to palliative care if there is no other option so the fact that they are still treating her is an excellent sign! I will hang on to that. Well, gotta run and get dressed for work. Time to head to the trenches!
Hugs to all! xo
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April, I remember that you chose the one-week , super intense, rads schedule so it wouldn't interfere with your work. Well, apparently you did an amazing job training that woman when she was a newby. In some ways, her success is your success. Just sucks that you don't get the $$$. The stress you can probably do without.
Can't wait to send a card to Kate!
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Kate - in your pocket princess warrior! Sending loving thoughts and prayers! Yes, we can't wait to make you smile with a card shower
))Charger - ouch! Hope you are recovering from your concussion...serious take good care.
Spin cycle...oh my...get it...someone push pause or finish rinse and get it done.
Yes, Brookside excited to send cards to Kate.
Off to line dancing....unlike y'all I chose early retirement...scary, but now that we've both have dealt with death of a child, battled cancer I'm glad we had a few years before major life changes. Still in contact with colleagues so able to consult if wish...but prefer to reinvent and try something different...enjoy volunteering in areas that are so different than engineering background...rewarding without all the drama and pressure.
(((Hugs)))
Cindy
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Hey, Josie, I just checked out the government link RunFree posted for you. Number 8 indicates that one of the "reasonable accomodations" you can request is, "reallocation or redistribution of marginal tasks to another employee." Among your marginal tasks are, of course, those pooey phone calls and organizational stuff. Wouldn't it be a joy if all you had to do were the basics of your job? Here's how you can arrange just that, nicely, politely, and legally.
Cindy, wouldn't you just know it--an engineer would wind up loving line dancing. Just can't leave those lines and angles alone? I see your point about how volunteer work gathers us in as time goes on--just had a new profile approved by our legal department. I've listed my titles at four nonprofits, down from last year's five. Friends are trying to get me involved in another, but I'm holding firm,so far. Come to think of it, I just volunteered to help out at an all-day fundraiser. It's for one of my current organizations, so maybe that doesn't count as extra?
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Brookside - ha ha! All the angles...sugar foot stomp! My volunteer firm stance is being selective ...volunteer thoughtfully within my gifts...1 no more than 3 so that where I serve receives my heart and is a delight... I receive so much more than I give...blessing:)
Work volunteering is 'and relayed duties' whether a promo event, trade show, conference, boards, testimonies, flying all over and still managing your duties, personnel, budget, oh and family...yikes. (And NOT an option) At first I missed it, but determined it was the rhythm and people and fulfillment...I can choose my spin cycle...soak...rinse..dry...fluff...I
I don't think that was an extra, but hope your career always feels like it is exciting and rewarding that it is not work...:D mine never felt like work...very fortunate...30 yrs from the baby princess to the grand dame! Best part was at the end there was finally a LINE for the women's bathroom! Took 30 yrs...too bad so many women avoid science math...keep pushing the ceiling!
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New message from Kate's friend. I'll take out the sentence with the address and PM it to as many of you as I can think of. I asked if she'd give Kate an extra hug from all her online friends and she said she certainly would.
I am planning to go visit [Kate] tonight after work. I'm sure she would love some greeting cards! I will send you an update after I see her. Thanks for checking in on her.
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OK, I've now sent PM's with Kate's name and address to everyone I spotted going back about 7 pages who has been missing Kate. I might have missed someone, and if so it is absolutely nothing personal! Write me or anyone on the past few pages for the info if you slipped through the net. I bet Kate will love getting cards from so many friends.
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Run Free, thanks. got it. I'm actually thinking of waiting a few days to send one as that way the cards can be spaced out just a bit and she might get one or more each day. Just a thought
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Thank you, thank you Run Free, I have sent off my card to Kate. You have finely honed your Internet/research skills and we are all benefitting.
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Thank you so much, RunFree. Looking forward to any update from Tracy, or anyone.I know what you mean, Cindy about that ceiling. I've always somehow been in the middle of men--financial services (still 10 to 1, as far as I can tell), and my fun things: ski instructor and sailboat racer. Same numbers. When I was young, the NYTimes was the place to go for want ads. They listed jobs for men and jobs for women. Every guy seemed to have an office and at least 1/2 a secretary. Every woman had a typewriter. Things have actually changed a lot. Funny, I still don't see many women other than myself helping women with their 401(k)'s. By the way, if any of y'all have financial questions, please do feel free to PM me.
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Brookside and Cindy, I also know about that Men's Club thing....I was a computer system analyst/designer before anyone even knew much about computers......the women's room was always empty! Only once did someone assume I was at a meeting to take notes and get coffee though....they learned quickly enough. In fact one of my promotions was given to one of the men from the good ole boys club. turns out I liked my job and challenges much more than what his job turned out to be so I was happy. I was accustomed to being the "lone female" though as I'd played trumpet thru high school.....tehehe
Brookside, sailboat racing and ski instrustor...you go girl. Sounds like great fun
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Thanks so much Run! Mine will take awhile to get there, coming from Canada.
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RunFree - Thank You!
Brookside - sailing...grew up racing sabots, hobbies cats, shields, and 1/4 tons and taught sailing...I love sailing...here it's a Flying Dutchman or Capri 22.....windsurfing too...skiing I stick to intermediate slopes...don't want to break anything...
Sew - the good old boys club...I was very fortunate that I was accepted...earned my way in teaching, mentoring, and serving on various boards that shaped our industry...got in the trenches with them even pulled rear chain man on hot days...it was interesting I had suits and uniform field crews, but no job was to big or small...grew up with them so acceptance when placed over them and they knew I had their backs, but expected their bests. Ha ha never asked to make coffee or take minutes or get lunch...
Ok time to go get cards for our Kate!
Again, thank you RunFree!
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RunFree, thanks for the address on our Kate! I probably will not get my card out until the weekend. I know she will love hearing from all of us. I, too, agree that it is best she is getting round the clock care. It is so difficult when you do not feel well, but she is a fighter and I know she will be back to chat with us again!
If I can contribute to a package that you may be taking, Cindy, please let me know.
Lemon, you are a beautiful woman! Love the photo.
I have been reading all your kind words. I wanted to just do a quick update on my brain CT. My neurologist is out for a few days and another doc in his office called today. She is uncertain of what the spots are that they are seeing. Apparently there is a 2.2 cm spot with some smaller spots next to that. This is in my skull - forehead area. She said that without a comparison to an earlier brain CT (the one I had on Saturday was my first), they do not know what it is yet. She went ahead and called my MO. I had my bone scan in February and was told all was normal. So he wants copies of the pictures, which I am having delivered to him tomorrow. He will sit with the radiologist and they will look at the bone scan and the CT and I assume either he says it is nothing to worry about or we schedule another CT, maybe with a contrast this time. I would also assume that if that still does not tell the tale, then I would need a biopsy. So, I get to wait again. My MO's nurse said she will have him call as soon as he has looked and they have made a decision, so that I don't worry any longer than I am going to. It seems a bit crazy to me that I had the bone scan in February and this would all pop up seemingly overnight. I had no node involvement and I am not having pain or symptoms of any kind, and even if this is mets, this would have nothing to do with my balance issues so I am told. There is no pain, no swelling, nothing like that. So, I will let you all know when I have something more definitive. Yes, I am worried, but that is me. This has been a rough 6 months.
I just wanted to also say that I don't often write in here as much as I would like, but I do go back and try to catch up on everything. I was hoping when I came to this website and starting nosing around that I would find a thread that I could call home, and I think this is it. I feel like I know you all a little bit and because I live alone, you are the women who I know will understand and have a nice word to say, and it means the world to me. I promise if I win the lottery (no, I do not play often), I will insist on flying to meet each one of you. For now, I give you all hugs and keep each of you in my heart.
Joan
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Joan/BigD, thanks for the update about your scan. It's so frustrating to get that kind of non-answer. How are your spirits? Are you able to stay in the moment, or are you feeling fearful? I can imagine you might feel either way, or something else entirely. Staying calm would be less wear and tear, if you're able. It's true what you said about this thread. I don't know what makes it different, but it is. I follow a few others, and the running thread is very supportive, but not nearly as family-like as this one.
I'm having a colonoscopy on Friday, my first, happy 50th birthday to me (last fall). I've been dreading it for 20 years, no joke. What I'm dreading is the fasting. As I've mentioned, I have really unstable blood sugar and have to eat all the time. When I go too long without food, I get faint and trembly and anxious. I told them that--I was pretty obnoxious about it in fact, said it over and over to absolutely everybody--and they assured me they'd get me in super early on Friday so I wouldn't have to stay hungry for longer. Wrong. When I called the OR today to get the time, the woman said my appointment was at 11. I protested and the scheduler said everybody wants an early appointment, this was the earliest she could do it, blah blah. I started to cry a little and told her I'd been assured that my situation would be conveyed by the surgeon's office, which it just hadn't been, and I laid it on pretty thick, and what do you know, she was able to move things around and get me in for a 9 am. Still later than I wanted (they told me they'd try for 7:30), but better than 11. I am peeved about the dropped ball. Then it turned out my laxative Rx hadn't made it to the pharmacy. The surgeon's office said, "Yeah, we've been having trouble with that pharmacy getting our faxes." REALLY??? And you didn't let me know, or call the pharmacy to find out if they got your fax??? Good thing I was trying to pick up the Rx a day early. I ended up going to the surgeon's office today, picking up a prescription on paper, and hand-delivering it to the pharmacy, as though it was the 20th century or something. I've liked everybody at this surgeon's office in person, but their communication procedures are not impressive. Anyway, I'm sure I'll survive the fasting, but it's going to be ugly, and I might need a tranq.
And to top it off, I chose Friday for the procedure instead of Thursday to avoid my son's concert the night before (which is today), because I figured I wouldn't be able to go to a concert during the prep day. Friday wasn't ideal, because my mom has always planned to come for my colonoscopy prep (because of the fasting problem) but she has a conflict tomorrow. But I really wanted to be there for my son's concert--he's giving up the sax so this is about my last chance. Can you guess how this story turns out? They moved the concert to tomorrow. Well, they moved it to next Wednesday, which I can go to (though my husband can't, and he's irked), but there's another concert with just my son's cool smaller rock band, plus a science fair thing, and that's what they moved to Thursday. Oy.
So I may be a bit quiet on here from tomorrow afternoon to Friday afternoon. Send me virtual cake balls! I can have that kind!
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Hey Run: You have to let me know exactly how that colonoscopy is. I have not had one and I am 61, and every year I say I will have one, and never have. I really should take care of it this year because with all this bc mess and everything, I have more than met my deductible. It just seems like it is one thing after the other, so I continue to put it off, but my PCP is constantly asking me to have it done. I think I could be the most concerned about the prep. I have had friends who have had it done and they all said the prep is the worst. I hope you are okay tonight, I will be thinking about you. As far as the procedure itself, I hear it is really not anything. You are unaware and you wake up and hear all is well. Will be looking for you to let us know how it went!
Well I wish I could be the calm, cool type who can handle anything, and I try to be that way in front of people, but this afternoon at work was hard. As busy as I am, I could not stop thinking about what might be. So yeah, I have been crying a lot at home tonight, trying to get it out of my system so that I am better at work tomorrow. When it comes to waiting for test results, I suck. And when they turn out to be nothing, I feel relief and joy, and I think I should not have worried so much. Have I learned from the past? No, I am worried. But really I just take it a day at a time and I know, no matter how bad it might be -- I will deal with it. There is nothing else you can do but face it and get the treatment. I am more worried about the cost of another biopsy -- I am tapped out financially and now with this, it is just another thing that may cost me a lot more money. Still, I know others have it worse than me and I know I will get through this as well. Especially with the wonderful ladies in here.
Gosh, do I love cake balls! I will send you a dozen of your faves, Run!
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Joan - so sorry about the medical issues and I know the endless delays don't help. That is odd it is happening all of a sudden. We will hold you to that lottery promise!
Runfree...did the colonoscopy - not fun but the prep is def the worst of it. They have made the "stuff" a bit more tolerable but its still pretty gross to me. I can't go that long w/o my coffee so like you I scheduled the earliest appointment they had and got lucky...my time was 7:30...at least yours isn't 11 - that is brutal. When I was doing my RADS I told them I wanted the first appointment as soon as they opened their doors and they did accommodate me thankfully. Good luck on the test; your next one shouldn't be for 10 years.
I think staggering the cards to Kate is a good idea. I will probably wait and mail it Sunday.
Diane
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RunFree, I'm having my first colonoscopy next Thursday! I just turned 50 two weeks ago, but I figured I'd get it over with right away. Like you, I'm mostly dreading the fasting part of the prep. My daughter will be away next week on her 8th grade class trip to DC, so I figured it would be best to do the prep when I don't have to make her meals. My husband is sweet and self-sufficient and will get his own meals. I'm just going to be curled up in a ball feeling sorry for myself. ;-)
At what point do we get a bone density scan ... Josie??? I forgot to ask my doc at my physical last week. I'm annoyed because the lab report of bloodwork doesn't show vitamin D, even though I specifically requested it. I'll have to call tomorrow. This physical exam wasn't the best -- I felt rushed. Unsatisfying answers to my questions ... I asked about low dose aspirin (given a recent study linking it to reduced BC recurrence) ... She didn't think I should be taking it (but didn't give a compelling reason -- it's not like I have any physical condition that would make it harmful). I think some docs are annoyed with patients like us who read a lot and cite studies. I have felt that this doc has always been open minded, but maybe that day was an off day for her. Just another experience of feeling so untethered now that active BC treatment is over.
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