Any October 2011 Surgeries out there want to wait together?
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Slgarcia, I feel your pain. I too had to curl into a shell for awhile. I felt so bad, my drains seemed to be in longer and cause more problems then other ladies. And I fell asleep with a stage 0 and woke up to a stage IIa. I had mine on Oct 4th, and I'm still struggling with pain. Today I get to go in and have my surgical area aspirated, because the fluid has continued to build. I am sooo happy for the ladies who are able to have a less challenging journey, but I also feel less alone when I see someone's journey who is closer to mine.
The way I see it, when I came here to the boards, I wanted to read every story, good and bad. I don't think it scares women, as much as gives a complete picture. It's going to be different for everyone. You take care of you, and if and when you are ready and able to post, we'll be here :-)
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Gamergirl, I just typed out this great big long response and then lost it all before posting it WOW that is just how it's been going for me... anyway I just wanted to say I agree with you and as I started this journey seeking info I found it here. Thank you everyone for sharing your stories the good the bad and the ugly and God Bless you all, as you are helping people cope regardless if you realize it or not. As always warm thoughts and prayers for all Lisa
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Shannon and Gamergirl - Good to hear from you both. Keep pushing along. I feel decidedly less 'up' than yesterday, and I realize it will be a long slog. We never do know what's going to be around the corner with this disease and its after effects. Best wishes and prayers for you both and everyone on the board.
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Shannon and game girl. Good to hear from you both. Take it easy and try to put yourself first right now. This is a hard journey we are on and there will be times when all you wantvto do is pull the covers over your head and stay in bed and that is fine!! I was diagnosis in April so I have been dealing with this crap for 6 months ( hope to complete treatments June 2012) - I can tell you from my experience each stage of the journey is scary and we all deal differently with them. I have found that when I am really down or hurting, that I can come here and tell my "sisters" and get support from those who know how I feel.
Sending you gentle hugs.0 -
I just came back from meeting with the BS. He didn't get good margins and I will need a re-excision. The path report did confirm no cancer in the nodes though. So it's a good news/bad news scenario I guess...
I don't even really have words to express how I feel. Just tired of it all I think!
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Eema- wondering how you are doing?
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Oh my goodness! You ladies are so sweet you made me cry. I am so thankful for all of your support, and for making me feel less guilty about not being on here. I feel better knowing it is okay to lay off and then be able to come in here when I feel okay. Thank you all for your kindest words. I feel better now. Today seems to be going well so far. Fingers crossed that it lasts! Sending so much love to all of you right now, even to the ladies I have not met. It makes me sad to see so many new ladies on here. This disease sucks! But, my silver lining in this is all of the lovely people I have met along the way. I vow that when I am through with all of this I will be a volunteering fool, so I can help others on this path. I have met so many angels along my journey and I know I will meet more. God bless all of you! Hugs, hugs, and more hugs!
Shannon
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Shannon - so great to see you back on here and feeling a bit better each day:-)
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KKS_RD: I just had my 2nd re-excision yesterday. It went well and I really hope for clear margins this time. I went from 4 margins not clear to 1 not clear, so hopefully it won't be too bad. The re-excision was much easier on me than the SNB and re-excision I had last surgery (about a month ago). While noone is excited for more surgery, hopefully this will be the end. Hang in there! I know it's getting tiring and feeling old, I had a lot of weird thoughts when I learned I needed more surgery, but it is for the best to get those margins clear. Feel free to PM if you want to chat more about it.0
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Hi Ladies- I had my BMX with TE's on OCT 14th. I thought that once the surgery was over & I received my path results that the anxiety would diminish. Well that didn't happen, I am still a wreck. I went into surgery thinking I was stage IIB and came out stage IIIA because of 6 positive lyphnodes out of 10! Now I have to get both chemo & radiation.
Lot's to be thankful for- clean margins, ER & PR +, HER2 -, no vascular involvement, mitotic rate low.
So why am I still freaking out!!!! I am on Xanex for the anxiety & Lunesta for a good nights sleep. Wish I knew how to concentrate on all the good and not think about the not so good.
Love, hugs & prayers-
Rose
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((((CookieMonster)))) Thanks for your response! I know it's relatively minor, it's just kind of a bummer. To quote doc, after all I've done to fight this thing it wouldn't make sense to let a few millimeters of tissue stand in the way of my long-term good health.
I'm wondering what to do since I just found out it's not until November 16th - go back to work between now and then? I'm on short term disability and doc had originally said I could go back within 2 weeks (which would be next week) but that I might want to take more like 4-6 weeks since my body "will have been through hell by then" following 4 months chemo while continuing to work full time. I have to subsidize my disability payments with sick time and vacation and would rather not use the time up unless I have to. So I'll give that all some thought over the weekend.
And how are you feeling so soon after your last op yesterday?
Sending warm vibes to all the October gals. Hope everyone is healing and feeling moments of peace.
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Kat- I feel your pain, both the financial aspects & having to wait until Nov 16th. The waiting and then more waiting really takes it's toll. Hoping that patience is one of your virtues, since I must of stepped out line when it was being passed out.
Know that I am also sending warm vibes to you and all the other October gals.
Rose
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Rose - I'm sorry to hear about the path report. Yes, try to look at the good things. Good luck with your treatments. {{hugs}}
Kat - I hope the re-incision. But yay for the nodes!
Good night all.
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hi all...I read a ton of posts but can't remember some of what I wanted to say...dang it! sO many posts to keep up with...
I had my two week check up today from my BMX with TE. I got another drain removed, so now down to two. YAY. I have another appt next week (will hope for one more drain to go bye bye) and am set up to visit with a PT person. It seems I have some good swelling from the pectoral muscles and that is probably why I am still a bit uncomfortable. I have used a cold pack despite the discharge notes saying not to. It just feels good and I am not freezing the whole area...just chillin
My doc said since I had both SN removed and no lymph that the risk of LE is virtually nil. I was relieved to hear that!!
DUKES UP--hope you feel better quickly. It sucks to feel grouchy and uncomfortable too!
CLC-yay on the clean hair!! I have found that clean hair does wonders for my self esteem. I even put on make up today for my doc appointment and I gotta say, I felt like a movie star sitting in the waiting room
RACH-just rest up when you need to. Heck, today I took 3.5 hour NAP. I still get so fatigued in the afternoon but am finding more energy in the morning. It just takes time, I guess...
Tomorrow I had a 5:30 dinner planned at a local restaurant with my brother, his GF, and my hubby and daughter for my Dad's 74th birthday. It will be my first outing in public and I am sure I will be wiped out after it, but it will also be a nice change of pace too!
I have been knitting during the afternoons when I am done napping and have a nice pair of cozy socks almost done. I am starting a soft pair of mittens next. I am learning to enjoy the down time and not think about work...
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Hey Ladies~
I'm a loopy mess from taking Benadryl around the clock so I apologize for not responding to everyone personally. These relentless itchy-scratchies are making me absolutely nutty and the red rash persists.
The good news is that I think both of my drains should be under 30cc by Monday. I can't wait to get these things outta me and get moving on to PT. While I can do range of motion exercises on my own, I'm looking forward to changing roles and being the "client" for a while.
Shannon~ Great to see you Girl!
ILUV2Knit~ YAY on another drain removal. Hope you enjoy your Dad's birthday dinner tonight.
TexasRose~ I'm so sorry about the change in stage. I completely understand how difficult it can be to focus on the "good" when the "not-so-good" feels so overwhelming.
kks_rd~ So sorry about the need for re-excision but very happy that your nodes were clear.
CookieMonster~ I'll be hoping for clean margins this time around.
GamerGirl~ Did the aspiration go okay yesterday?
Sending warm thoughts and gentle hugs to ALL. Be back when I'm not so scatter-brained!
~AJ
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Hi to ALL!
I'm going to make this post a little shorter than I wanted, but I'm really in pain with my arm (it took me 3 days to write the last one about LE); however, I'm glad I finally got it posted on the board, and I was very relieved to see that everyone was taking another look at LE and what they could do to prevent it!
In any event, I had 3 more appointments this past week, one with an oncologist, one with a radiation oncologist, and one to get "fills" ... it went back and forth for a while about rads (I was in a grey area whether I needed it), but the final decision was that I did NOT need to have rads after many consults with the entire team of doctors... finally something good on the horizon!
However, I do need chemo, herceptin, and hormonal therapy, since I'm stage lla, ER+, and HER2+ ... I have a long road ahead of me (as many of us do) with all the therapies ... but, after reading some of the posts, the chemo does seem to work, so that's encouraging ... and, then I have another surgery facing me down the road (a 12 hour DIEP procedure) ... grrr
OK, BC has taken over my life for the next 1 1/2 years ... as long as I'm cancer free at the end of this, it'll be worth all the misery ...
And, that's how all of us should be looking at this ... the end result we're all striving for ... to be cancer free ... we will do this! I apologize for not responding to individual posts as I have in the past, but I'm in a tad bit of pain ... I am reading them though and glad to see some of you back on here posting ... I definitely understand the need to take a break and deal with things in your own way ...
And, I'm glad to see everyone on the road to recovery ... and, those with a few setbacks, I can only repeat what I've said before ... "Be COURAGEOUS, Have FAITH, Move FORWARD" ... two steps forward, one step back ... it'll take a little more time to get through everything, but we can all do this! ...
I have no idea why this song just popped in my mind ... "We are the Champions" by Queen ... but, we are survivors, we are warriors, we are the champions!
Thinking of everyone!
Love~Peace~Joy
Trinity
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I apologize for the deleted post, but there were things I wanted to write and didn't have the strength ... I'm in a tad bit of pain ... I'll try again later ...
Thinking of everyone!
Love~Peace~Joy
Trinity
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gamergirl, hope aspiration was OK...going in to do the same on left boob Monday morning. Hope it's not too unpleasant!
kat, no cancer in the nodes is GOOD so focus on that..I don't want to be discouraging, but although some women do work full time through chemo, I was very grateful that only working part time, I could take a lot of time off..to start with I needed 2/3 days off but by the end it was taking me a bit longer to recover...
dukes_up I hope the itching calms down, it sounds completely maddening. You'll breathe a sigh of relief when the drains come out.
Texasrose, it's not surprising you're freaking out...you were expecting one thing and discovered something else...you will adjust and find the strength to carry on...
trinity, hope you are in less pain
and bye to all the other October friends.... have a peaceful, pain-free (and itch free) weekend
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AJ - Good to hear from you. Sorry the itching is still a problem. Just keep plugging away at the Benadryl. I hope you get those drains out soon.
Iluv2knit - Glad you're keeping busy. I have some knitting friends, and they've already got my chemo berets ready to go. Good luck with the drains and the PT.
Trinity - wishing you the best. Sounds like you've been going through a lot. I hope things start looking up.
Mom's taking good care of me so far. I'm drinking prune juice like it;s going out of style, and pain killers are my friend. I'm actually enjoying the snow, weird as it is before halloween. I remember my mom always telling me how they brought me home from the hospital after I was born in a snowstorm ... this morning I turned to her and said, hey, you brought your snowbaby home from the hospital and it was snowing again!
Unwrapped my front again. I think I can deal with it. I knew what I was losing, and it's (they're) gone, but I already have some cleavage. I can make it through this...
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kks_rd: I'm feeling good today - I'm still in the "surgical vest" but that and the gauze will come off this evening and then I'll be in a sports bra for at least another week. This is by far the easiest recovery for me, I had two lumps taken out with my first lumpectomy and then the re-excision and SNB the second. This one was just a simple single margin re-excision. I'm not using the Napoleon pose that I used with the previous two, right arm crossed over my belly, just below the breasts.
My BS told me that if I were 70, she would have sent me on to radiation after the first re-excision, btu that I'm not and at my age we want to do our best to get everything out. I get it, but still felt a little like the boy who cried wolf when letting people know that I was haveing ANOTHER surgery. I received much support, but *I* felt weird about it.
I have not had any chemo, so I don't know your particular situation, but I did think about whether or not I should take a leave from work (I'm a high school teacher) and decided that it would be a bad idea for me to do so, I'd just sit at home bored and miserable, worrying about cancer, but everyone is different and you have to figure out what's right for you. Not an easy decision.
Dukes_Up: I will be devistated if I don't have clean margins this time and will likely opt for a mastectomy. Follow up with the BS is on Wed. so the waiting game is upon me, must keep busy, but I'm back to work on Monday, so busy shouldn't be too much of a problem.
ALL: I hope that everyone is healing and recovering well. Best wishes for the best possible outcome for each and every one of you.
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Hi Girls,
I'm just cheking in. Rach, glad to see my surgery sister here, hope you are well and everyone else who went is well, too. This surgery was much more emotional than the BMX. I had a minor breakdown the first day after surgery-- why did they put me on the floor with new mommies??? I know, I know, GYN surgery, but it made me sad for me and it was hard to be happy for them. I broke down and had a crying jag-- never saw nurses get into a room so fast!
Still waiting for pathology, but the surgeon said my uterus was adhered to my stomach, which is why we have only one child. What is the line from Raising Arizona? "her insides where a rocky place, where my seed could find no purchase". That was me. DS is staying overnight on his first sleepover! He was so nervous, poor baby! Now, here I am alone with my hubby, and we can't do the nasty!
Ok, going to go find my laugh track. I don't like the morose Eema... Xoxox feel good, girls!0 -
Eema - Good to see you back! I've been thinking about you.
I'm sorry about the news you got. And I'm so surprised no one ever thought of that situation of having all gyn surgeries on one floor. That must have been hard. Sending you my best thoughts. I'll also send some funny vibes your way.
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Eema- good to see you here! I think it is insensitive to have you near the babies. You hang in there!
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Eeeemmmmaaa! I am so glad to hear your voice and even your morose Eeema track. . .we'll take you no matter what the mood. How insensitve to put you on that floor. . . . stay above it. . . keep breathing . .. you have more world experience then the new mommies. . . focus on you and healing!
Cookie Monster - hope you are feeling good today too . . . taking a leave or not is a hard decision. No rights or wrongs . . . stay busy and focused.
Trinity - you've been on my mind since your last post. Praying you are working through it and closer to sunshine. . . . stay strong.
Rachelvk -- keep the prune juice flowing! hahaha - I even started to do the warm prune juice route (add pineapple juice#. You sound like you are doing good. Enjoy the mom time as much as you can. Wish mine had been with me for the healing. . .
Ginger - you sound good! I hope the healing continues....
Dukes / AJ - sending you soothing thoughts for that itching - ugh! Can it stop already? I'm ready for you to jump in and start pushing us. . . .I'm at a standstill on motion to a degree as I am still sporting my one drain #not complaining as next time I'll be sporting MORE). . .and cautious to move too much until that is outta here.
Shannon - so nice to hear you had a great day yesterday. . . one step at a time. . .one hill at a time. RachelVk put it well that this is a hard and unfair journey. Period.
Kat - sorry for the good news / bad news scenario . . . but you have such a solid attitude. I applaud you . . . hope you are healing well.
I am doing ok . . .still struggling with my mind being 5 steps ahead of my body. I hate the loss of control over my life . . . someone else is keeping my kids' lives going . . .someeone else is driving my car . . . it's not my kitchen anymore, it's my DH's. %0 -
Kelley - it is hard to hand the reins over to someone else. I'm glad that it's just me to worry about, without kids or husband (boyfriend has been doing amazingly well taking care of himself and me).
Cookiemonster - hope you're feeling better without the vest and gauze. I find that even with just the bra, I'm getting a lot of tightness, so it wasn't the ace bandage squeezing me like I thought.
Wishing everyone a good week of continued recovery and health. We've all made it through the month with our surgeries - looking forward to Thanksgiving next month!
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Good Morning Friends~
Just sitting here waiting for the PS nurse to call me back. I'm still itching like mad (to the point where I feel I can't possibly stand it for one more minute!) and I'm 100% sure that I have a yeast infection as well *can this stop already!* My 1 week followup with PS is scheduled for tomorrow morning but I'm hoping to get my path back today from the BS office. The positive is that both of my drains are below 30 cc so I'm praying that someone can yank them out today.
Kelleyod~ Hey Girl! I can so relate to the frustration of "letting go" and handing over responsibilities for a while. I'm struggling terribly with this to the point where I know I'm doing much more than I should be. I can't just sit here while dishes are piling up in the sink and the laundry is overflowing. If there's anything good about this, it's that my son is learning to do more for himself (he's 11) and is realizing that until now he's been getting the Royal Treatment. So...in a way, this has been good for him
RE: range of motion--- I hear you. I've been doing gentle exercises but will feel more confident when the drains are out. Eema~ You've been missed! I agree with the others in that it was quite insensitive to have you on that floor. On a brighter note, you totally cracked me up re: "the nasty"! Hope your son had a great time at his first sleepover. Hope you won't be kept waiting long for your path results. Fingers crossed for good results!
rachelvk~ Thanks for the heads up re: feeling continued tightness after the bandages are off. I had been wondering about that. Are you able to wear other sports bras now or still in the surgical bra?
CookieMonster~ We can deep breathe together waiting for pathology. I'll be thinking of you on Wed re: your BS appointment.
Maria_Malta~ Thanks for the no-itchy wishes! This has GOT to let up soon!
trinity~ You've been on my mind a lot this weekend. I really hope you are doing ok. No pressure to post, just know that you're in my prayers.
To ALL: Wishing everyone as smooth of a day as possible! Deep breaths and healing thoughts being sent!
~AJ
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Hello all...went to bs today and he tried to aspirate the left boob as there is considerable bruising and a hematoma which we'd known about, but which he hoped would clear up on its own... well it didn't and so he tried using a syringe but couldn't manage as fluid too thick, so am going in to hospital again on Wednesday and he will clean it up under general anaesthetic...very short at least and I'll be out by Wednesday afternoon, but you can imagine I could have done without this. I know Gamergirl was going to have something similar, I hope it's OK now.
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UGH. My body has decided it WANTS me to have breasts.
I had both sides aspirated on Friday. 267 ml from one side, 220 from the other. And I have to go in tomorrow to have it done again, I'm all.... wavy... again. They threatened to put drains back in if it doesn't stop. I think I will cry if that happens. And I can't do anything to make it stop, I don't have any control and it drives me nuts.
It was so odd, I couldn't feel a thing. I just watched as they stuck a huge needle in. No numbing needed because I have zero feeling.
Anyone else with this? On one hand, it isn't so bad to look into the mirror and see something. On the other hand, I don't want drains again. Especially with chemo starting Friday.
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gamergirl, I must say I did feel the needle today, not actually going in, but being manouvered inside..the odd thing is that I had no problem on the right hand side where the lymph nodes were removed, you'd have thought that that would be where the problem would occur, not on the other side... Not sure we have the same thing...the fluid hasn't continued to come out in my case, but didn't drain as it should have cos it's too thick, which is why I'm going to be put under general anaesthetic for the bs to ahve a good bash at hoovering all the crap out...hopefully once and for all.
I'm sorry you're having such a rough time, and I'm really hoping that they'll solve the problem tomorrow so you can prepare for the next hurdle....Just keep telling yourself that in time you will have a lovely pair of boobs again... time passes and things will get better...I know this sounds banal when so much is being thrown at you!
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Gamergirl and Maria~
UGH. I'm so sorry you're both dealing with these dang fluid issues
Sending deep breaths and lots of love. 0
