February 2012 Chemo
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gayle56- I have vertigo too. I was diagnosed with benign posistional vertigo 20 years ago. I try to avoid any strange movements or sudden movements. You may want to ask if you can take antivert before hand. It can knock you out so I only take half, but it does help with the spinning. Also limit sodium and drink plenty of water a few days prior. That may help.
7of9- I also get pain in my mid to upper back. But appears to be from teh Neulasta shot. Usually starts day 3 after tx and lasts a few days.
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Back in the chair for more magneisum. Sigh. Next big tx is Thursday. This will be tx #4, I will be 2/3 done. Oh well. Much love to all. If you have a tx this week, hang in there.
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Went for my RO appt today. Start rads on Wed. Silly me, I didnt realize that tattoos actually involved needles and pain. Pretty much ruined my day. I have had enough surprises, even tho this was a small one, it was still a surprise.
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So sorry Donna. That would have come as a surprise to me too. And I've even watched episodes of Inked. For some reason I didn't make the connection between radiation marker tattoos and needles. So I will have that to look forward to in August. Did they give you a local or lidocaine or anything at all? Definitely will ask my RO when I see her in July or might stop in there tomorrow ony way to blood work and ask the nurse. Hope you fell better.
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faithhopenluv -
your post about the milk carton made me smile. 5/10 will be here in no time!AEM - oh that sounds painful. I hope things are "moving" more smoothly now.
mlb & firstcall - hoping your SEs are going away quickly and you are recovering well.
Jen - sorry that the RO recommended rads. I don't blame you for wanting to fight this with everything possible. I hope #5 goes easy on you this weekend.
Donna - OMG do they give us tattoos for radiation!?! What's that about?!? I do NOT want a tattoo!!! *in panic mode now*
I am one week out from TCH #4. Feeling pretty good. Went for the herceptin today and they said I was dehydrated again and had low potassium. Sure enough, a bag of fluid with potassium later, I was feeling on the ball. I thought I did well drinking this weekend so I was really surprised. The P.A. gave me a long lecture of taking the Immodium and not having so many loose BMs the weekend after chemo.
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Regarding the tattoos. They are tiny. The tech had one on her hand to show me. My complaint was that no one told me and although it was a needle stick for each one (there are 3) they hurt. I must be being sensitive because I am pretty tough. I just wasnt prepared. Another step on the journey.
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needles?? I havent had much detail yet only that I have to do rads but now I am more worried.. I dont do pain or needles well at all!! Do they numb it at all? I am so glad we have each other through yet another scarey part of this journey.
Moon and Christina- I hope you both start getting the "stuff" you need in you so no more extra infusions! Hope you both feel better soon.
Tomorrow is my appt with the plastic surgeon.. lets see how much he scares me with his pain and needle talk....wonder if my daughter will let me borrow her teddy bear.
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Christine
Forgive me if I'm making you repeat yourself here (can't remember anything at the moment LOL). Are you done with the TCH now and just on to H? Its not surprising re the dehydration. We do everything we can to avoid constipation then it swings the other way/
Still feeling really tired and quite stiff everywhere. Sipping away on hot water and lemon trying to detox a bit. Hoping after a good nights sleep I'll feel a bit more energetic tomorrow.
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I think the markers are to help them position you most accurately for radiation (with the fewest side effects.) But then again, I don't really know what I'm talking about. I don't see why they can't just use a sharpie and freshen it eveyr day we go in.Taxol number three is in the rear-view mirror, yay! I may or may not have had a reaction; not sure. My throat felt swollen and it was hard to swallow, but then again I get dry mouth on Benadryl which may have led to the symptoms. They stopped the drip and added more Benedryl and prednisone, and everything went fine after that. Of course now I'm wide awake!0
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I met with the LE specialist today. That got me down more than starting chemo. It took me awhile to get a handle on what was upsetting me so much. I knew I would need to take precautions, I knew that I would have a lifelong risk of LE. What I was not prepared for is that she recommends that I wear a sleeve with a glove every day - always, this is to prevent not treat LE. I went back to work fighting tears for a bit. I know that I have some risks that will always be with me, i have the risk of reoccurence and i have the risk of LE, but everything else had a an end to it. Chemo will end, this port will come out, my hair will grow back, I will lose my boobs, but get new ones, I will lose my ovaries but I don't need them. A sleeve every day is an constant reminder that I'm not prepared to deal with. Luckily she needs to order it and I'll have some time to get my head together, but I don't see myself coming to terms with that. I live in FL, its 90+ degress 6 months out of the year. Has anyone else gotten something a little less conservative?
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Faithhopenluv. My PT for my axillary cording is a specialist for lymphedema. She is amazing. She advised me to get a sleeve for travel (a must for flying) but possible use when in a car for long trips, etc. she also suggested wearing it for sports or activities that involve repetitive movements. She sent me to a place that specializes in these sleeves and has them in stock so that I could try them on and select an appropriate sleeve based ony specific body andy needs. I had a referral to another place from my gp's office and learned that they did not have these in stock but only ordered them based on measurements so I insisted on a referral to the place my PT wanted. They were so good to me there. The specialist there also took her own set of measurements, spoke at length About my level of activity and involvements as well as no signs of lpheda this far. She had me try on a few different sleeves that came with gauntlets. She put them on me and then taughte how to put them on and remove them myself. It was really an amazing experience. Now I know I have not been told to wear this every day but as needed so I cannot relate to that part but I do know these are not just one size one brand one type for all. I did not use mine on the trip down to FL but I did wear it at different times over the two days home. I had noticed a bit of edema in my hand and the sleeve made a world of difference. I hope you are able to explore all options available for and to you regarding this. Blessings. Diana
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Hello all,
Just checking in. Spent almost the entire past 4 days since last TX being a chemo slug. I am feeling a bit better today but so tired. This last TX really knocked me on my butt, the no taste buds is wearing me down. I would give anything to be able to eat something and have a flavor to it. this one seems the worst, all the foods I have used in the past aren't working either and I feel like such a baby but I just want to cry over it.
I will be calling to make an appointment with the RO tomorrow to get that ball started. My MO figures I will start beginning of June so that gives me a month to get my energy back and also sometime to get my mind off the chemo train and onto the radiation train. I am such a needle baby and while I know the tattoo needles are nothing like the prodding I have been taking from chemo it ust seems like such another bunch of bullshit to have to contend with.
Faith - I wish I knew of something you could do other then sleeves - who needs yet another reminder of this damn disease. That said - I think on some website I remember seeing these really cool tattoo looking sleeves, like Ed Hardy ones LOL. If you're going to have to do it why not make the kids jealous. Sorry, not making fun...just trying to make you smile a little.
Off to bed where I will be dreaming of food. Funny, since I can't taste anything all I do is think about food.
Question - this was my last TX....the other ones I was really not queasy by now. I find with this TX I am still taking the naseau meds?? Think I should call or is it just cumalative and lasting longer this time??
(((HUgs))) to all and wishes of itty bitty SE
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The tattoos are definitely there to position you and the radiation so that it is the same each time. This was explained by my RO. They would have toes sure and remeasure you each time and still might not have the exact spots like they will the tattoos. That part was understood. I just totally brain froze on connecting the dots with needles. Donna I am supposed to have daily rads for 6 weeks when the time comes. Is that what you are having?
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Geez, what is up with this last treatment - the ER trip on Sat. was enough for me. I did the slug thing ALL day sunday and thought I was just exhausted from having been in pain for almost an entire day...but now I'm not sure. I managed to get my butt up today and do 3 miles on the treadmill and it's been downhill again since doing that. This is the 1st treatment I actually have nausea and here it is 4-5 days after treatment. Bone pain is showing up now?? and I have an unconrollable urge to eat everything in my fridge...regardless if I can taste it (which I can't) WTH is going on with this one ? I think I'm just going to dip into the Ativan and put myself out of my misery for the day...lol
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I am sending positive thoughts and hugs to all of you who are still facing rads and surgery! I had my surgery last November and since I had double mastectomy (lymph nodes neg) I did not need rads. I did have needles to inject dye to show lymph nodes prior to surgery. I don't know if it is the same as before rads, but it did hurt and they did give me some type of local anethestic. If you are anxious before going in, please talk to your doctor ahead of time. I consider myself a toughie and have a fairly high pain tolerence, buut when I was laying on the bed waiting to go into surgery, I was so nervous and a 12 yo girl in the waiting area with her parents started crying and then I started crying and couldn't stop. The anesthesiologist came in, saw me and said I could start on an IV to relax me. It really helped. My onc also gave me Xanax to take before my first TX as I was very nervous about how that would go. I did not feel "drugged up" but relaxed and it was so helpful to me.
I am not pushing drugs to anyone, just offering what helped me. There may be something natural or homeopathic that would also help. I just want to suggesst asking your doctors in advance. I wish I had done this before my 1st MRI as I had a small panic attack(slight claustrophobia). This is all so new and scary to all of us we should not have to suffer any more that we have to. Talk to your docs about any anxiety and ask them for help.
Sorry for the wordy post...can you tell I'm on the steroids now? My family laughs at me and says they can tell when I'm on the "roids" or "jucing"...ha-ha!
Soon I'll be back to this..thought you'd like another shot of the chemo slug.
Judy (I still don't know if that is a waffle or a poise pad that gave up...it definitely looks like a puddle of pee under my slug butt....)
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Off in a few minutes for first taxol round. Nervous about the unexpected. AC wasn't bad. Hope this isn't either. I think it will be a long day in the chemo. Hope everyone has a good day!
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dipad - I hope you do well today. Nothing like the unexpected to raise the anxiety level. Keep us posted.
aem-good job with the treadmill. Its hard to get out there but it really helps. You said its all downhill from there....well when running don't you look forward to the downhills? Once when I was running a marathon I was at about mile 20 and someone had put up a sign which said ... 'from here on the downhills are uphill. Kinda fits with chemo too.
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Firstcall - you're right. I should be looking at it like that...and II think I'm going to try to adjust my frustration level. I think I'm just aggravated and impatient. I spent this last year and a half really getting physically fit - going 15+ miles a week, eating right and feeling really the best I'd ever felt in my life. Kids were getting older, time was freeing up and it was finally "my time"...and I had lots of plans for my "new" life....Then of course, BC
I think I'm just so disgusted with the feeling that I'm going backwards and afraid I may never feel that good again :-( I think I'm just having a post chemo pity party...lol 0 -
mtherdee
I totally hear you on thinking about nothing but food yet taste eludes me. I have to stay off the Food Network and Pintrest LOL! Everything looks so good! Especially sweets, good thing I'm not much into baking. Although I have to admit I made Banana Bread the other day and so enjoyed it!
Judy
Perfect chemo slug and LOL at the waffle/poise pad and puddle. I agree on getting whatever med help you need to get you through. I really hate taking meds believe me, but during times like these I have no problem with it at all.
AEM
Like I said in a previous post I feel alot worse after the last TX as well. I have to wonder if part of me thought that I would be way more celebretory seeing it was the last one. Or mabey because we have to stay strong mentally when we know we have to go down this road again makes us push ourselves more to feel "normal". Good for you for getting on the treadmill period! Here's hoping we start to feel better from here on out.
dipad
Good luck today and hoping that the anticipation is the worst part for you.
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OK today I am better today. I found the last tx to be the worst emotionally. I'm not sure why but I think its because I (we) have been so focused on finishing chemo that there is a let down when its done. I was determined to get thru chemo without throwing up but it happened twice after the last one. No big deal really, but the last tx was different. Also I'm a little depressed and I'm sure that is why the tattoos threw me for a loop. I have to focus now on getting thru 33 rads but I am really tired of this whole mess. On the plus side, my hair is growing, at least in patches. It looks like it belongs to someone else like maybe that chemo slug. Had to laugh at the puddle and the poise. Very glad to have you all to vent with. We will get thru this
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Maybe that's it...we spend so much time calling in the reserve strength for the actual chemo that depression gets alittle hold now when we let our guard down?? Geezus, do I need another pill for that?
I'm facing rads now too and still don't even have an appointment set up..maybe it's being in limbo again or being at a point where the treatment/future is not quite mapped out for me. I've always been somewhat of a control freak..lol.
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So far so good after first taxol treatment. No infusion reaction, but the nurse said it's more common on 2nd infusuin. The benadryl made me a little tired, which I guess is a good thing since they pumped me up with the steroids. Just glad i no longer have to take them at home.
myleftboob- so funny about the food network. I started watching it on my chemo slug days. It actually helped boost my appetite. Except for Paula Dean! Geez that woman uses a pound of butter in all her recipies.
aem47- I found a saying that I keep in my purse. Failure isn't falling down, its staying down. We are all going to hit a bump in the road, some bigger than others. if you can go one step you are moving forward. Dont look at what you used to do. See this as another challenge that you can face and take baby steps. I think we are all in battle mode and in the end our defenses come down.
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hi all !
surgeon appt today- drain is out and he "is pleased"-see him again in two weeks to check in.also in two weeks i see MO to start up the next round- and will have to get my PICC put in again.
in reading everyone's posts- first- i knew we got tats with rads but didn't know they were "real" tats-i understand why just-damn- i don't want another needle or a tat--if i did i have a friend who is an artist! crud-my kids and ex will get a hoot outta this!!!! (they all have tats-) and i am getting wussy about needles!
also---i found myself to be more bummed about worrying for the rest of my life about lymphedema than the BC itself. i knew it was an issue soon as the 1st surgeon feared the node involvement....i have not been told to wear anything special etc- other than to not have bp or draws done on the arm.
anyhow- feeling good-still a slug! and still no job---boooooo hissssss
hugs to all
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AEM- I find myself too getting a little more down than I used to in the beginning. I think I have been so strong for so long maybe I am just a bit tired? I dont know but I know last week and this week have been hard on me emotionally even though I feel ok physically. tx #5 this week and dreading it so much. Even my infusion nurse said this was a rough one for most people ( she is the one I dont like as well as the rest.. :P )
Dipad- I too watch food network on my slug days to help boost my appetite a little. Love diners drive ins and dives.
Everyone says that chemo is the hardest part of this journey.. but I am not so sure. I met with the surgeon last week and PS today. The PS today didnt think TE was the way to go for me since I have to have radiation afterwards. He strongly suggested waiting and going with a DIEP reconstruction. Surgery scares me. Going with the DIEP means I will have 3 more surgeries after the BMX. what has everyone else heard about reconstruction? anyone else doing DIEP or going to do TE and then rads?
Thanks for all your input! Just trying to calm myself down a bit and take it in.
Sunbeams for all today! we need it
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dipad - glad Taxol went well. I got pretty achy around day 3 at night. It was sort of an ache sort of a a tiny spasm. it was not horrible, but hopefully you don't have the same. I also had really itchy feet. Taxol 2 was actually a little better for me.
lumpynme - yay! the drains are out. I really think my PT is being extremely conservative, which altough i can appreciate i will find some balance and be happy. She didn't even want me to wear rings on my left hand. She measured my arms and i have only the tiniest bit of swelling, to the point where she said she wouldn't consider it lymphadema but most likely still the nerves healing.
AEM47 I agree, I'm struggling more now than ever emotionally because my guard is a little down with my last tx soon. Then comes the LE crap, an apt with my gyn to talk about my ovaries, surgery in June and then at least 2 more reconstruction surgeries after that. I think after this week I will compartmentalize everything except the surgery and that will be my focus.
hope everyone has a little sunshine today
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JenH. I had a left mastectomy, sentinel node biopsy (which turned into axillary excision while I was on the table), and DIEP reconstruction all at the same time on January 10th. My first chemo was Feb 22nd dd AC and my last AC was April 4th. After a three week break I start Taxol 12x weekly tomorrow. Following Taxol I will have a 3 week break, get my tattoo markers and rads planned and then begin 6 weeks of daily rads the next week. When all of this is over ... Come September, I will meet with my PS and set a date for surgery where a round patch of stomach skin that is on my left breast will be removed. At that time if there are any issues with the reconstruction following radiation that will be addressed as well with fat grafting and also any symmetry issues with my right breast. I thankful I chose DIEP and had the reconstruction along with my mastectomy. I know your situation is different because you are having surgery post chemo. But I think our chemo regen was solar if not identical along with radiation proposed. These decisions are big ones, aren't they, and we have to sort out all the recommendations from our doctors and info from what we read and opinions from those who have taken different roads. Blessings as you work through the process.
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JenH - my reconstuction is similar to a DIEP, but it is micro-fat grafting. The fat will come from various lipo sites and then slowly injected into my breasts. It will take about 3 surgeries, but the first will have the hardest recovery because it includes the deconstruction. I will echo what dlthm said, it is a big decision and there are pros and cons to all of them. I know radiation adds complexity as i understand it the mico fat grafting seems to work well after radiation. There are some great threads on all three options. It is truly a personal decision and a very difficult one.
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To the ladies re reconstruction
I am going to do reconstruction but am just considering options for the moment. Its such a huge decision and not one I'm actually prepared to tackle at this moment. Since it was delayed recon anyway, I think I'm going to get over the chemo slump/hump, and look into all of the different options with a view to perhaps having surgery nearer the end of the year or perhaps after. For me anyway I need to get my energy back and honestly can't face it right now. I know some would think I would like it over it a shorter time frame but this has been such an ordeal since I got on this merry go round I need time to recover. I just feel like the last 6 months have been spent on all things BC (I'm sure we all feel that way too) and I need a break, likley more mentally than anything.
Lumpy
I'm sure you're happy to have that drain out now. Boo on the job front though.
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Going to my 4th tx tomorrow and have lots of questions for my doc abount tn trials and why my path rot say lobular instead of ductal cancer and I also feel a lump in the same breast that I had the lumpectomy in January, not at the incision site so I'm asking everyone, this can't possibly be another tumor since my ultrasound in Dec., it couldn't grow that fast right?
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JenH13- When I saw the ps prior to bmx he said that I didn't have enough fat on my beely for the DIEP recon. He recommneded TE at same time of bmx. No one told me at the time that I might need rads. Now I am hearing alot that RADS can hurt the TE's. I do know at this point I need to wait 4-6 months after RADS to get my excahnge. This is all such a long process, at times it gets overwhelming.
AEM47- I had a hysterectomy in Sept. A month prior to my bc diagnosis. The onc gyno felt better to leave ovaries in. Lowers risk of heart disease. Damn, what about breast cancer? If only I had that checked beforehand, I would have opted for ovary removal. I am still considering having my ovaries removed after this is over. I just keep hearing conflicting views on this. I'm 52 and believe it or not I wasnt even pre-menapausal. Periods regular, hormones in check. Just another thing to look into.
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