February 2012 Chemo
Comments
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firstcall
Curious to know if they can to a mammogram on the MX side or do they use ulstrasound or some other? Happy to hear it went well though.
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mlb - the mammogram is only on the side that did not have surgery. The MX side - well there is literally nothing to put in the machine. I will have an annual MRI in Dec and the Mammogram in June. They can look with ultrasound at the MX side as well, but they have not. I actually have an ultrasound machine in my office which I use on OB patients, and I may look myself from time to time, if they dont do it.
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firstcall
Thats what I thought. Great that you can do that for yourself.
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I really need to log in more often. There is so much we miss when we stay away more than a day or two! Anyway, within the past two days, I've read 7 full pages to catch up on everyone.
Power Port: That's what I have. I love it. But my surgeon recommends keeping it in for up to a year. yuck...But that's what I'll do as it's easier for blood draws. Once I get it removed, I never want to see it again! And I hardly notice it most of the time.
Wigs/Hair: I go with baseball cap most of the time. Sometimes remove it when in a store or if I'm hot. Getting braver. Never did lose my eyebrows or eyelashes but they're light blond and barely there even in the best of times. I buzzed my hair short and it still feels stubbly.
Taxol: Nearing end. I had four AC's at the start in February. once a week every two weeks. Then I started Taxol, not Taxotere....they're different. Anyway, the Taxols were to be 12 of them, once each week. I get number 11 this week and number 12 next week. Then, I'm done with the chemo.
RADS: I have a left MX, originally, was told I would not needs rads. However, I had lymph node involvement. (they removed 7 and 3 had definite cancer and the 4th had microscopic. So, that changed the rads situation for me. Once the chemo is done, I will have 30 or 35 rads starting four weeks later.
Neuropathy: It's not always permanent, I'm told. I just started having problems within past three weeks. Mostly numbness and tingling of hands and feet. I'm just putting up with it and hoping it definitely goes away once this is over with.
Fatigue: Overwhelming. I stopped driving in to work. Short term Disab ends in July and I will HAVE to try and put in 8 hr days. So for now, I'm working from home on occasion and enjoying the fact that I'm blessed with full pay even though I'm not working. After July 5th, it changes and I will be on long term disab (LTD) and only get paid 60% of wages.
Depressed: I've been very depressed, mostly due to daughter, bills, fear, anxiety and just plain anger at the world that I got this damn thing hitting me right when I wanted to retire. Gonna try to work till December now or even next May. (i'm 70 this coming December so I feel it's my time to stop working.....but the bills are out of sight. Have plenty of time to decide. As someone else commented a while back, I'm just plain sick and tired of doctors, medical crap, chemo, every bit of it!
Bills: Chemo doctor's business manager pushing hard for $200 monthly payments. (this on top of the $300 I'm paying to other providers. I told her I'd pay $100 but can't do more than that just now. She was rude about it. Well, when the chemo is done, they can 'repossess' it if they want. (seriously, I feel an obligation to make good faith payments. After all, they may have saved my life. I'll do the best I can till I quit work.)
Daughter: She's doing better. Kind of. I try to be thankful for the good days and have to leave her alone on the bad ones. She just has to figure her own path out of her own problems and her depression. And I need to leave the house if her sobbing/chaos is bothering me too much.
(I edited this to remove info about vitamin supplements. My info was confusing and contradictory. oh well....sorry)
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ALL: Sorry about those of you having really bad SE's yet.
ymac: Sorry about your husband's accident. It sounds painful. And sad that you must help take care of him. I know it's been a while now but I still feel bad for both of you.
Ali: sorry to hear your nails are coming off. I've been lucky in that area. How are you doing?
Dipad: You were done with chemo on 6/5. I'm happy for you. How are you doing since then?
Moonflwr: You're done with chemo too if I remember right. Yay! How you doing?
Msbelle: You were referred to cardiologist. (Me too a month ago....all okay with me.) How you doing?
Lumpy: You still get the keys on the 15th? Just around the corner. I like to measure all rooms and draw a schematic of where the windows and doors are. By time I move in, I know just where to put everyting. I am so excited for you! Wish I lived near you (and had energy). I love organizing! I'd help you settle in. Hope your move goes smoothly.
MyLboob: I loved your 'poop' sandwich story.
Firstcall: Thanks for info on how they do a check of the surgical breast. I was wondering about that.
Hildy: I loved your story about the spider. From now on, I'm keeping my car windows shut when parked in my drive (under lots of trees)! I hate spiders! I'd rather have a snake in my car or house than a spider! Also, you've started Rads, I believe. How is that going?
Gritgirl: I think of you often. I wish I lived near you. You wouldn't be so alone! (On my occasional good day, I have energy and could be helpful). Of course, on my bad days, I'm worthless! lol
All: I think of all of you. Even if I haven't mentioned you. Hugs to all !
(AND, just for the record, I made notes as I read the last 7 pages I was behind on.) Only way I could keep things straight!0 -
cripes. for some reason this site keeps cancelling the emails i get telling me when someone has posted so again i missed several days.
i'm exhausted. my last dose of taxol will be on friday then oncologist is talking a different type of chemo. my nails are now looking like they're falling off. oh, joy.
i have a ct and bone scan on monday, 6/18 and see the oncologist on 6/25. i'm praying this will be a clean scan so i can stop this chemo. it's knocking me down.
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(Hugs gritgirl)
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Ok, I am upset, angry, embarrassed, humiliated, and $300 poorer. I just flushed it down the drain. Literallly. Flush. My new key fob, that took a month to get, cut and programed, just flushed down the drain. I had the dbig D again, missed getting there on time and after cleaning up myself, went to rinse my pants out (sorry if TMI) and hit the flush and heard them go down. Tried to catch them, called a.plumer to see if they were stuck in the pipes, no, straight to the big sewer gone. Do I blame chemo brain, stupidity, bad luck, karma, low sleep, pain, embsrrssment, or just plain cancer? Wouldn't have been half so bad if these weren't the replacement keys I waited over a month for and got last month!
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I say blame cancer. Blame everything on cancer. That sucks.
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Moonflwer
That is just plain bad luck. Did it myself with a new Blackberry just before DX. Didn't flush it but it was ruined all the same. Sorry to hear.
gritgirl
Saying prayers from here for ya!
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Went to pick up DH new car, is goes very fast and looks great. Can't wait to drive it myself, I would get a lot of looks hubby wouldn't like that.
I bought a blue Suzuki jimney 5 yrs old and 18,000 on the clock. It's in good condition and I will buy some monster tyres for it. Will have to say goodbye to my lovely car, what we do for our kids.
Hope everyone is good did I tell you my hair is growing very fast, I can't see the bald patches now.0 -
*jealous of Ali's hair growth*
Kids got out of school today. Need I say more?
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FLDREAMER: my cardiologist vists have been good. EF 65% so I can continue herceptin. I did have to start a new med for blood pressure and elevated heart rate. MD thinks I can come off of it when I finish herceptin. Hated to add another pill to my daily buffet of them but I do feel a lot better.
Gritgirl: praying all your scans are GOOD!!!
I'm jealous of hair growth too. I am finally getting a good coverage of peach fuzz. I feel like a baby bird getting some feathers! Oh how I have missed hair. Will never complain about a bad hair day again!!0 -
the hair thing.....so I think I have something starting to grow. I had to have my daughter use her young eyes to see it. I don't care if she lied to me it was fun to have her say she thinks something is starting to grow.
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LOL@firstcall! Fuzzies on my top too. Msbelle, Glad for the EF. Hildy, we can hope for good weather to keep the kids busy outside. Ali, sounds like a cool car. Gritgirl, I hope your troubles will just plain STOP! Fldreamer, sorry it sounds like you needs RADS too. MLB, I guess you and I will be laughing about the car keys and Blackberry - Someday, just not yet! LOL much love to all.
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my comp monitor at home died! i'm at work early-
eyebrows falling out again--mostly on TX side..is this right? i read about the growth cycle on one of these boards so i understand but am NOT happy!
tonite i get the keys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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lumpy...I hope it's all you envisioned!
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Moonflwr, so sorry to hear about the '$300 flush.' Ouch, there are so many other uses for $300. Cancer is to blame. Ali, nice about the hair. Gives me hope. Sometimes I wonder if it will ever come back. Firstcall: lol, maybe a lie is good sometimes after all but I bet it really is growing. Msbelle, glad the heart is good. We just don't need more problems.
Today is my next to last of the Taxol (and of chemo). I should be excited but still dread going in today. SE's are laying me low so much that I dread even these last two treatments.
Itching: 'down there'. anybody else have this?
Mouth/Taste: no sores apparent, looks normal but nothing has tasted normal since Taxol #6. So tired of yucky taste.
Work: Not going in at all anymore. So tired. Wish I could quit. Was gonna retire now in May. Now delayed till Dec when I turn 70. Bills so bad I'm thinking of keeping going till next May. I don't have much put away for retirement.
Woulda/coulda/shoulda's: Struggling to let go of poor choices in the past that make today so difficult, especially financial choices. So stressed all the time about money and the fear of not having enough when I finally quit work.
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FLDREAMER...I am 68 and have been retired for decades. I can't imagine having to go thru all this with financial worries as well. Talk about being kicked while you are down! I hope you can work it out and have time to relax and enjoy for a while. They always say "hindsight is 20/20" isn't that the truth?
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Also....what you say about the taste in your mouth, was the same for me. Nothing tasted right. I didn't have the itching too badly but I attributed it to the lack of pubic hair. That was a treat in itself...glad to be back to normal!
I had fatigue with Taxol too...but it was worse with rads...but for me that was the only SE. I am still tired even after months after. I don't know if it's lack of exercise or just old age. Hard for me to even walk too far before I start to ache all over. I am hoping it will pass.
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Hi all....haven't been here in a while. This whole journey just seemed to knock the wind out of my sails. Last chemo yesterday after getting off schedule due to chemo-induced anemia and need for blood transfusion. The anemia is back but managed to eek out a number high enough to get last treatment. MO will decide next week if another blood transfusion is in order.
Like Ali, I'm going through the "lifting of the nails". Haven't lost any yet but it's difficult to type and even harder to text.
And now my MO is suggesting ovary removal so I can go on an AI instead of tamoxifen due to my high risk of blood clots. Loosing my ovaries?? It's so permanent. And don't our bodies need a certain amount of estrogen to be all womanly and stuff??
The chemo has already de-sexualized me, now this??? Sigh.....
To all of you done with chemo: CONGRATS!! You made it and it's worth celebrating!! To those of you still in active treatment: I pray you get through the remainder will the minimalist of SE's.
@gritgirl: I check you blog everyday and think of you often. You don't know this but you have been my inspiration those many days I didn't think I'd make through another treatment. I pray your scans are clean and those little white trash bastards are evicted for good!!
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melly...congrats on the chemo finish. I also had anemia with chemo....didn't need transfusions tho...after chemo and rads, just had bloodwork and hemoglobin was fine. Chemo knocks the crap out of our system so it's understandable it would be low. Were the white cells OK?
I am on Arimidex cause of blood clots too but I was surgically de-oomphed years ago. It's fine with me...seems funny being estrogen-lite...I assume there is still some lingering around tho'.
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melly:
that is very sweet of you to say. i'm getting finger nail lift as well, which is making my pc based job a challenge at time.
this friday will be my last taxol. i hope to say goodbye to neuropathy for good. i hated that feeling.
i haven't been posting on the blog lately mainly because i've been a bit down. every time i was looking for a pick me up via a medical test, i got the opposite. i've decided to stop asking what the scans say and instead wait for my doctor to go over them with me. we'll see how long that plan lasts. :-) i am if anything but nosy.
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gritgirl....it's a case of wanting to know but NOT wanting to hear anything negative.
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i think i am going thru withdrawal! since my home monitor died i won't be online til monday again and i miss you all already!
i got the keys last nite!!!!!!! i wandered around the house a bit i sat in the porch and enjoyed watching the backyard just BE!
tonite and this weekend we start moving boxes and next saturday is THE MOVE!!!!
sending positive vibes to all of you !!!!!!!!
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Lumpy
I'm so happy for you that you don't have to waste the summer in that apartment. Picturing you sitting out on the porch with your coffee listening to the birds!! Happy packing!
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OMG what else can I get! Have been having funny spells with my eyes so went for eye test. Have always had fab vision but my eyes are a blur. This has only happened last two months and I blamed the chemo as a SE. Have got early stage cataracts and need glasses for reading. Spent £249 as I was not going for NHS I'm slowly falling apart.
Lumpy sounds great that porch which I could join you.
Gritgirl how's it going hope your chemo ends soon.
Garden has been put back till beg July as we have non stop rain.0 -
ali i have early cataracts as well as macukar degeneration; i have had a great deal of fuzziness lately (specially at work) so i think my cataracts are getting worse so i can very much relate to your feelings of falling apart!
here's a hug!
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oh MLB i feel like dancing!!!! the peace that i felt last nite sitting there...and not even being outside- just on the porch!!!!
it will all be worth it once the moving is over- the current landlady is giving me mucho grief about breaking the lease- i don't care- she's an a*&
a reminder that we always need to keep our eyes on the prize!!!!!!
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Yay lumps! Sit on the porch and drink some coffee or tea for me too when you get moved.
Ali, that sucks. Hang in there. Much love. Grit, I am glad you finished taxol today, hurrah! Another mile stone reached. Here's hoping you wont have too many more to trip you! Much love0
