I look for other flat chested women. A rant.
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Wow, I just cringe at some of the things I've heard and seen. I was totally ignorant about all of this at the time of my dx 2 yrs ago. I knew people who'd had cancer, but only the kinds where they operate, take it out, and off you go. Knew only one person who had BC and she had a UMX with nothing further. It was such a huge shock to find out I had to do chemo, rads, tamoxifen. Quite a steep learning curve!
Looking back now I can see I was SO lucky with the surgeon I got. They never pushed anything on me. At our first meeting he just casually asked, "are you considering reconstruction?" I honestly did not even know they could do such a thing. But my instant reaction was NO! Not even knowing what it would entail (and now that I do know, I'm horrified) but my gut just said, "why??" Why would anyone want a fake boob permanently attached when you can just slip it in your bra and take it off at the end of the day? Well anyway, he casually asked, I said no, that was it. Never mentioned again. And he gave me a nice flat scar with no excess skin left, or anything like that I've heard of. I had no idea at the time that one might actually have to tell the surgeon that's what they want! What a strange concept! Ha. So, yeah, I was very fortunate.
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I came home from the PS appointment confused & pissed off & grateful, all at one time! I went there to see the PS *assuming* I could have TEs put in immediately after BMX. Breast Surgeon said yes, it was doable, then implants, that he worked with this plastic surgeon a lot.
The PS told me no way would he do expanders. Since I was going to have to have rads after BMX the risk of failure was too high. I was very let down. But I was also happy he was open & honest. Of course then he went on about how he prefers to do the dorsi lat flap procedure & that I was a good candidate for that. (back area not abdomen) He would later put in a TE then later add an implant to the flap mound, plus an implant to enhance the other side if I just chose to have one breast removed. I had never heard of this flap surgery. I was confused, couldn't make a decision. BMX was scheduled in 10 days. He did say, though didn't elaborate, that I didn't have to make a decision right away. That I could have the mastectomy & had a year or more to decide if I wanted to go ahead with recon.
I was in a dilemma. I couldn't wrap my head around the procedure. Didn't know if I wanted to commit to that, knowing there was still a high failure rate, and also knowing I may be looking at 3-6 more surgeries.
Hubby listened to me explain it all after I got home. All he said was " I just don't want you to go through anymore pain, no more worries, infections, surgeries, hospital stays, recovery times. I want you here, with me, alive, enjoying life". I woke up the next morning feeling good, decision made, no recon. Called the PS to tell him his services were not needed. Called the BS to tell them I was 100% sure I didn't want immediate recon & 99% sure I wouldn't have any recon at all.
I had BMX in March.
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Tang, I am so sorry that you have been through all that. Whatever you decide, you can vent and discuss it here.
Jennie, my surgeon was similar and I also feel so fortunate that he made nice, neat scars, because like you it had not occurred to me that he might do anything else. Then later I started seeing the pics people posted and I was outraged.
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It was never explained to me that I could decide later to do recon....that PS I had originally was POS. I dumped him after he seemingly blamed me for the infection. I have a new PS now that has helped with some of my debridement issues and wonder if things would have gone differently with him. He is very caring and kind, he takes time to talk to me. However, I just don't know that it is worth it to have reconstructed breasts. I call it frankenboob.
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Reconstructed breast? It's not even close. More like a permanently attached clothes hanger. Um, no, thank you.
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Tangandchris, I am so sorry you've had such an awful experience, but unfortunately it seems to happen a lot. These Surgeons have an awful lot to answer for. I don't know what the answer is.
It's so unfair that you feel the way you do, when you did nothing, but be guided by the person who should have given you all the facts, good and otherwise, so you could make an informed decision about what was best for you. I really would love to give these Surgeons a good slap on the head for this, false advertising! There are many women here, with similar stories to yours!
I wish you all the best for the future and hope you can find an outcome, that you are comfortable with.
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OH Mags,, I do love that sign! (although I only laughed hard enough to laugh off one tit!)0 -
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Yes I laughed out loud at that one too!
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Semper Fi Barbie
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RIP, Barbi.0 -
Very sorry to hear this.
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Hello all. I have been thinking about this forum and thread and wanted to visit and say hello. I too am sad to hear of Barbie's passing. She was and is a beacon in our community. I miss all of you.
Melly
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Here is some more written words by me.
http://melanietesta.com/2014/10/my-journey-to-finding-support-flat-fabulous/
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I just wanted to put a live link for MT1's link above. Hope it works:
http://melanietesta.com/2014/10/my-journey-to-finding-support-flat-fabulous/
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Oncowarrior, after you copy a link you can click on the little icon that looks like two links of a chain or eyeglasses or something in that row of stuff above where you comment. Then a little box opens with two blank lines. You paste the link into the first box and then you can type info on what the link is in the second box or just paste the URL into that box too. Then you click on insert and voila.
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LOL, OncoWarrior, thanks for the giggles. And this site seriously needs a ROFLMAO smiley. The directions should have said you paste the URL into the first blank line, and text or whatever into the second. So only one box with two blank lines. Maybe I did have my eyes closed on that one.
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ROTF = rolling on the floorI find that when I paste the link,,, if i hit "enter" after it,,, then it will pop up in blue and you can just click on the link. If I don't do that,, it is black, and you are not able to use it as a direct link.
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Glennie, really? I could just hit enter?! It took me a while to figure out what that little link icon was and now I find out I didn't really need it anyway. Geez.
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well, it worked for me. I copy the link from another window,, paste it here,, and it's black, until I hit enter,, and then it turns blue,,, and it links.0 -
Glennie, I hope that OncoWarrior is still following this. Your way is much easier. Now if I can only remember to do it that way instead of jumping through hoops.
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