I look for other flat chested women. A rant.
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ahhh the henna... I just had henna on my head for month - all of March. LOVED it! Here it is below with the paste still on and what it looked like after. I have been comfortable and very confident going bald in public since my hair fell our from chemo starting in October, but the henna was even better! So many people asked about it and everyone assumed I shaved my head/was bald on purpose since I apparently didn't look sick (was fortunate to active all through treatment, running, wt lifting, even snowboarding a few times). My hair is just starting to grow back. Wish I had started with Henna in January and could have gotten 3 months of it!
I'm flat bilaterally...wanted to be symmetrical. Going out completely flat on/off...more on right now because I'm still getting radiation and I don't want anything near my skin. At most though, before rads when going to an event out, I doubled the foam liner (not even a real breastform) in a bralette and that made me what I was before mastectomy...and A+/B- cup...pretty flat. Have not decided about reconstruction, though the most I'd consider is liposucting some fat (though not sure where from b/c I am lean/muscular) and relocating it to my breast area...just enough to fill in behind my nipples, which were spared, so I'm not so warped. Being flat is easy and comfortable!
Such great posts and links above...thank you for sharing!! xoxox
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Lovely!
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Beautiful!
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Awesome!
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Great idea!
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Gorgeous!
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Beautiful!
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Where is the "LIKE" button?
Andraxo you should post that on the artists page.
moo0 -
Thanks so much everyone!
I didn't know there was an artists page/board - so glad you mentioned it OncoWarrior. I will post there to give credit to the amazing artist who did this for me.
- xo
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That head is beautiful! I'd only heard of this and never seen it. Your artist did a great job.
cb
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Hi I was cleaning out my storage thread and found this. Reposting this on some threads, may be old news to some, but to good of info not to pass this on, sassy
Bluebird144…NJJoined: Apr 2013Posts: 39313 hours agoBluebird144 wrote:
Knitted Knockers Charities is a non-profit that exists to provide free patterns for knitters and crocheters to be able to make knockers and help mastectomy patients get freeKnitted Knockers made by volunteers.
I love my Knitted Knockers! They are light and soft and warm. Unlike my silicone prosthetic which is heavy and cold when first worn, then it later causes me to sweat.
I wear my knitted knockers inside a regular bra or tucked in the pocket of a mastectomy bra. They are beautiful, and a godsend to those of us with an uneven mastectomy scar.
Knitted knockers website:
http://www.knittedknockers.info/
Fall down seven times, stand up eight.
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Sas asked me to also post the information about another group Awesome Breast Forms
They are here
http://awesomebreastforms.org/
The volunteers at Awesome Breast Forms donate the materials and postage costs themselves so there is no cost to the BC patient.
I can testify to their work as I have received a beautiful piece of work from one of their volunteers. It came with extra stuffing so that you could alter the form if necessary or refill it if it needed after time. I wear prosthesis very seldom but when I do theirs is my go to one as it is soooo much lighter than the silcone one.
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I have just got flattened -- just two days ago -- after three and a half months of frustration in trying to get the flattening that should have been done for me in the first place. From the things some Surgeons (other than the most recent, who gave his best efforts to help me) said, it was clear to me that my woman-ness was discounted, my individual needs and individuality were discounted, and yeah, at bottom, it was really my personhood -- my humanity -- being discounted. MT1, you said it so well in your Squirrel Story, what I had been feeling but did not know how to say until I recognized my feelings in what you said.
I will be out there too, going flat, only flat.
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I know. Just because men are fixated on boobs doesn't mean women are.
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Hi all:
The fact that a surgeon would ignore the express wishes of a patient regarding her election of non-reconstruction and desiring to be as flat as possible is unacceptable and outrageous. The medical argument for reconstruction is based in part on body image considerations, yet the value to body image of a result as flat and smooth as possible for those choosing non-reconstruction can be disregarded?
It is possible that in a few limited cases, this occurs due to some misunderstanding or mis-communication, but there is still no excuse for it. It is absurd to expose a patient to the risks of a second surgery by a failure to make surgical objectives clear to both parties. The onus should not be on the patient, but on the surgeon and their institution as best practice to obtain an accurate understanding of the patient's wishes, to document them accurately, to confirm these wishes on the date of surgery, along with site of surgery confirmation (right, left, or both), and to follow through on the patient's wishes to the extent surgically feasible.
If a surgeon intentionally leaves extra skin behind, substituting their own judgment for the patient's express wishes (not contravened by any subsequent discussion or consent form), my layperson's impression is that this might be a breach of informed consent and/or other wrong-doing (e.g., possibly some form of medical error by in essence performing the wrong procedure, ethical breach).
- Whether it might be the basis for a law suit is one question. If so, whether any particular case may be actionable or not in a court of law on its facts and/or is worth pursuing would be a question for an expert medical malpractice attorney, as well as related questions of theory of the case, local time limits for filing suit, proper venue, defendants (named or added by third parties), matters of proof, potential damages, chances of success, etcetera.
- If no legal action is pursued, at an appropriate time (e.g., after treatment at the facility is concluded), patients may consider reporting such an incident to a patient advocate and/or ombudsman at the hospital where the surgery took place, with an explanation of the personal impact and a request to implement procedural safeguards adequate to ensure it never occurs again.
- A patient may reasonably choose to do neither.
This happens all too often in my view. Until such time as the medical profession does a better job in this area, to avoid any possible misunderstanding, some here have recommended documenting the choice of non-reconstruction and the desire for a surgical result that is as flat and smooth as possible in writing in your medical records, and/or noting the same on your surgical consent form. Request copies of all such documentation for your records. It is also good practice to remind the surgeon of your choice in pre-op.
Breastcancer.org often engages in advocacy issues, such as mammography. This is a rare instance where reasonable minds probably do not differ, and seems ripe for some action.
BarredOwl
[EDITED Paragraph 3: ". . . and/or other wrong-doing (e.g., possibly some form of medical error by in essence performing the wrong procedure, ethical breach)."
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Would it make sense to have a plastic surgeon on hand for no reconstruction to ensure the smoothest results?
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Is there a plastic surgeon who is OK with no recon? Actually might help for good results, but they're the ones pushing recon.
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Hi tsoebbin:
Some people have mentioned that they had a plastic surgeon involved, for example for neat closing. I am not sure how often people do that and assume it requires pre-approval by insurance.
There can be some variation in the quality of the aesthetic result when the breast surgeon attempts to achieve a result that is as flat and smooth as possible. In case it is not clear, my post from yesterday is not about a less than perfect surgical result that is within ordinary and expected variation (e.g., occasional dog ears at ends of incisions, some puckering along the incision line). It is about the cases here where people specifically asked for non-reconstruction, and asked to be made as flat as possible, and the surgeon did not comply with that request at all (i.e., made no attempt at flat). Instead, the surgeon intentionally left large amounts of extra skin for the purposes of a delayed reconstruction, because he thinks the woman will change her mind about non-reconstruction or he thinks she should seek reconstruction because of his value system, despite her express wishes and statements to the contrary. The word "unconscionable" comes to mind.
BarredOwl
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I wear a prosthesis, which looks totally normal under clothes, but if I wear anything that's just a little bit low cut, the scar shows when I lean forward and once another woman saw it and looked at me with sympathetic eyes. She never said anything but I knew. So since then I'm extra careful to not let anything show. For the people who do know about my surgery, they look at my chest, probably to see if it's "normal". Maybe they're not even aware they're doing it, but I am. Then there are people who say I should "get them done" like it's a regular boob job, and I just ignore them!
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Well said, BarredOwl!!
Icietla: Congrats on finally becoming flat the way you wanted to be. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
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I was a G cup before my double Mastectomy and I LOVE being flat! I am seeing a plastic surgeon this week to get rid of my "angel wings" they drive me crazy when I see them through my clothes and they feel really funny.
Being flat has allowed me to use a scarf now. When I had huge breasts I could not wear a scarf now I love adding that to my wardrobe.
Anyone here have their wings removed?
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If you go to breastfree.org and look under the "photographs" section, there are various accounts including at least one from someone who had the dog ear removal surgery. I think you will be very pleased with the results.
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Yes, well said, BarredOwl.
Thank you very much, glennie19. My life is so much improved. There is a little spot we are watching for the possibility of the start of necrosis, and I am to go back to the Surgeon later this week to have that spot examined again.
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Good Morning - With a double mastectomy did you have SNB on both sides or just on the effected side?
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Hi Icietla:
I am very sorry you had to go through this. Sending healing thoughts your way.
BarredOwl
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Hi tsoebbin
They take just the SN on the affected side.
Good to hear you are happy with the results now, Icietta. I hope I can post the same sometime soon
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Thank you very much, BarredOwl. I am so relieved and cheery now. For three and a half months I was stuck in/with that horror, and directing so much hate at my body. I could not be okay with that condition. My recovery -- I mean for my body and my physical comfort and my spirits -- was held up for all that time. I will have some photographs made so you all can see all the difference.
Tsoebbin, my removed nodes all came from my right side. I am so sorry you are needing more treatment. I hope it resolves those troubles so you can get on with just enjoying Life.
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Thank you, Jedrik. I wish for you the same relief and satisfaction.
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A member, not sure if active anymore, wrote this, mentioning this thread:
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Thanks, MT!
Fabulous article, if a bit heavy on the academic jargon:
"Based on my own research I would add that just as the pleasure of coherence may direct individuals toward iconic embodiments that reify the gender binary, it also can lead them toward iconoclastic embodiments such as breasted masculinity or flat-chested femininity."
Really!
The author could have saved us a lot of effort by speaking in everyday English.
My friend Dr. Mary K. Bryson has been pushing on the topic of cancer margins and the queer experience of cancer and our bodies for many years.
Stories and images of her tattooed and unreconstructed chest http://nomorepotlucks.org/site/under-the-skin-imag...
I've lived flat chested (no prostheses) for over 25 years and have been happy to challenge the gender binary that assigns breasts to women.
Here's a 20-year old image https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/79/topics/845005?page=2#post_4737994
Melanie Testa is co-founder of Flattopper Pride blogs here about her breast cancer experience http://melanietesta.com/tag/cancer/
btw, I loved showing/sharing my flat and sometimes bare chest for many years. Then came the port-a-cath hump on my upper chest. As the cancer progressed and I developed ascites (fluid in the abdomen), my shape changed from angular to bony plus belly. Then along came an indwelling catheter to remove the ascites and I became more shy about stripping. Now, as death approaches, I'm calmer about revealing all to a very few.
Images are important!
We can live well with cancer. And we can die well with cancer. I'm thinking about being photographed again, because the death and dying aspect of breast cancer possesses its own loveliness too.
So many changes, Stephanie
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