I look for other flat chested women. A rant.
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So nice to see my website in your list of articles!!
Love your words about living well. Dying well.
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I encourage you to be photographed again. I agree that the dying phase has it's own beauty.
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Hi Melanie!
I should have guessed that you're MT - thank you for all you've done to support us flat folk!
You and I corresponded some time ago and I introduced you to my friend Raven'Light who was a breast cancer activist from the early 90s until her death from pancreatic cancer a couple years ago. She co-created the Breast Cancer and Body Image Project that toured the US in the 90s and she often stripped for a good cause.
This image of her was made into a postcard and distributed by the Women's Cancer Resource Center in Oakland, California. It adorned many a refrigerator!
We'd talk about the advantages of being flat vs. a EE on one side only. She was a massage therapist, dancer, model and meditator who engaged her body for income and fun. She never ever wore a prosthesis or a bra. Instead she had the most fabulous wardrobe with gowns and costumes that she'd sometimes alter, but mostly wear as-is. Many conversations ensued.
These days, oncologists are shaking their heads over women who choose to have both breasts removed when there's only cancer in one.
We must each make our own personal, unique decisions about which route is right for us!
Melanie, thanks for sharing the important message that there are many choices, including going flat.
your archivist, historian friend, Stephanie
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I do remember. Glad to see you here.
Oncologists and surgeons are only as good as the questions we drill them with. Because of our differences, we need to be clear beyond measure of our wants and needs, lest they interject their niggling insecurities upon us and make us suffer their whoas.
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Hi MT1,
Suffer their whoas and woes both!
A friend who's having reconstruction on the mastectomy side and breast reduction on the other is arguing the breast surgeon. My friend wants to be a C and the surgeon is arguing for a D.
How do we engage them to meet our needs!
warm healing wishes, Stephanie
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Say, 'If I wake to a D cup, I will be angry.' It is a shame that they force into proving ourselves. But being assertive and decisive is necessary.
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@Stephanie and @Melanie: Thank you. I knew what I wanted before I ever read this thread and I was made to think myself to be different and weird. Now I know that might be true, but if it is, I am not the only one and the others are beautiful in body and mind.
The one important thing I learned from your writings: I will stop apologizing for not reconstructing by saying, among other things: "It's not like I was a young woman..." which you made me realize sounds like I'm not interested in being a lively and sexy woman any more. It just isn't true. I am sure I am still attractive and I need to communicate this. I do care very much what I look like and I need to communicate that as well.
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Just put your wishes in writing, and have this document placed in your chart when you discuss it with your surgeon.
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the link did not work for me, but I found this (I hope this works). Is this what you had in mind, ksusan?
Me appointment with the plastic surgeon went reasonably well. While she still couldn't stop herself from telling me it's a pity I don't want to reconstruct, healing as well as I do, and even described the best options, she conceeded that I had to decide what I can be happy with and she will do the procdure next week wednesday. She did add that reconstruction still stays a possibility and would be best done in about a year when everything will have settled.
She also mentioned that I'm a very rare case. The first one wanting just scar revision and a neat and flat breast after a mastectomy. Obviously all those others who choose not to reconstruct live with what they get dealt with the first time around. And this considering she thought I already have a great result, far above average. I don't really know what to make of this.
On a different note: She mentioned I should wear a tailored compression garnment around the clock for six weeks for the best cosmetic result. While I suspect that should have been done right after mastectomy, too, I'm not quite sure how important this is for the revision? Does anyone have any input on this?
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Thanks; yes, that's the link. Not sure why it wasn't working but I've edited it in my post as well.
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I think the compression garment helps make the scar flatter. I didn't after my mx and my scar is just fine. Probably depends on the person.
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That was a great read - thanks for sharing it. I couldn't open the other one either (but maybe I can now - didn't try the edit)
Tomorrow I am having fat grafting, but it isn't really breast reconstruction fat grafting. There won't be a change in my chest wall in terms of appearance. Apparently there is evidence now for getting a little bit of non-radiated tissue (and stem cells) under/into the radiated tissue to help it heal better. Hopefully it will let me remain as active as I like without pain and motion restriction. The post radiation effects are not good. My entire radiation field is tender - it is becoming more painful and fibrotic each week. As a PT and recreational athlete, I have been super active and really work the area/tissue to keep it as functional as possible... so it's not as if I have neglected it or been lax in that area. I can't imagine how bad it may be for people for who don't stay on top of it from day 1, though some people don't have any long term tissue side effects from radiation. Some of us are just unlucky. I had lymphatic web cording after axillary node dissection too, and that isn't the norm. Thankfully it has resolved.
I had nipple sparing mastectomies, but now question about even having nipples. At the time of mastectomy it seemed like the best thing and I was so happy to be a great candidate for nipple sparing surgery. We had planned reconstruction to start at the time of mastectomy IF there my lymph nodes were clear. They weren't clear though and I needed chemo and rads.... which changed everything. Those treatments gave me so much more time to think and be in this body without my little breasts (I was and A+ or a B-). Aside from having nipples, I'm flat and have thin line C-curve scars below where my breasts were.
Thankfully, the surgeon I'm working with respects whatever I want and recognizes that my high activity level and ability to do the things I love has the biggest influence on my decisions. Even he acknowledged how breasts (and more surgery) can interfere with that.
Hope your surgery goes well Jedrik! Yes, a compression garment can really affect scar tissue. Keeping the area compressed after the sutures are out (if you have sutures) should help it heal as flat as possible. I've never heard of them using compression after mastectomy (drains shouldn't be compressed) unless someone had excessive/hypertrophic scarring as it healed. With so many reporting dog ears and flaps and lumpy tissue (might be dependent on the size of the patient/breast that was removed) you'd think they would use it more often to help contour...like they do when limbs are amputated to shape the stump/residual limb.
love and hugs to all of you! xoxo
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So, I'm in the process of finding a surgeon to do a PMX for me. I had a unilateral MX initially (6 years ago). And after 6 years of pain caused by prosthesis, muscle stress and strain caused by being lopsided, I've finally decided to take to plunge. It's a little scary for me to remove an otherwise healthy body part, but I think it's time. A little nervous about finding a new surgeon though, I had complete trust in my last one. Wish me luck
Initially my BS had me use a binder for the first 4-6 weeks post MX, in his experience he said that it made for a flatter scar and better healing, I must say it looks good.
I anyone has any hints, suggestions, etc.... please let me know.
Thanks,
Linda
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Best wishes Linda XX
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Sorry not to be able to give you a referral. My surgeon has retired. Have you thought about going as far as OHSU?
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ksusan I could go to OHSU, my son lives in Portland.
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Linda, I'll be following your progress. I'm thinking of doing the same. I'm so tired of trying to look similar with one droopy old lady boob and a perky foob. Deliver me from bras...please!
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thanks Wren44, I'm so ready to be breast.....and bra/camisole free. I'll let you know how it goes. A lady on Facebook said she had it done and it was a huge relief, hasn't regretted it for even one minute. She feels so much better.
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I wasn't happy to hear that I needed bilateral, but simultaneously very happy I wouldn't have to figure out the one-side prosthesis, either.
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It's not easy being one-sided. I keep wondering if I could handle my truncal LE better if I didn't have Righty to contend with.
Linda: do keep us posted! In the bag for you!!
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LindaKR
I had a PMX on my right side two days ago after having a UMX on my left a year ago.
Although I'm still feeling the effects of the surgery and feeling "flat" both physically and emotionally I'm glad that it is done.
I felt fear of cancer, a distaste for being lopsided and a real hatred for my breasts as one had "betrayed" me with cancer as I nursed my youngest son.
I'm glad formy decision. It feels good.
Good-luck to you!
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Just want to say that it's been a year since my BMX. I still haven't been fitted for a prosthetic.
It's been hot and humid, and I'm grateful for no under boob sweat!😀
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I'll be a year for preventative bilateral mastectomy in July. I'm still super pleased with my decision, as well as my decision not to reconstruct. Everyday I'm thankful. It's really not bad at all to be flat and fabulous. I have prosthetics, but I have only worn them once for a holiday party, to fill out a dress. The rest of the time I go flat on weekends or wear a bralette with fiberfill behind the modesty shield. This option is much cooler for me, and allows me to feel well dressed at work in an office.
At a recent outdoor festival in the heat I was so glad to be so cool without a bra! No one noticed I was flat under my loose-fitted, patterned shell that I'm flat as a board.
I'm still so thankful to all the women before me who shared their thoughts and pics on this post and others, which helped me to make my choice! You ladies are the best for support, ideas, and confidence.My biggest concern was whether my husband could handle this choice. He's been very ok with it, thankfully. Now that I'm less anxious about getting getting BC and happier not having all the BC surveillance for the BRCA mutation, we're really in a good place.
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I am so thankful for this website and this post. I did not have reconstruction (bilateral mastectomy 3 months ago) and some people thought I was nuts. I do not regret it. I do wear prostheses at work and my husband keeps telling me to just go without because I have some nerve/skin issues and find that wearing a bra can be quite irritating. I am so thankful that he is supportive. I haven't been brave enough to stop wearing one altogether but I am working on it. I don't wear prostheses at home but I don't run and put them on if someone comes by unexpectedly. They will just have to deal with it. I made a promise to myself that I would not become a prisoner to looking like what most of society considers "normal" in my own home. My husband calls it a "new normal". But still, it would be nice to see others flat chested. I just wish I was more of a trend-setter.
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Kycat, Have you seen breastfree.org? They have some comparison photos of women with and without forms. Not a ton of difference. Patterned tops are good camouflage. Another idea would be to wear smaller and smaller forms until you're down to nothing. Then people would be used to you having a small look. My MIL wore an A cup while nursing and nothing the rest of the time. I doubt that anyone ever noticed.
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kycat: if you find bras are irritating, perhaps try a camisole with pockets that you could slip a small form into? Genie bras are very soft also.
Wren has great advice! Some also get very creative with scarves.
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Here's a woman who's not to be missed!
http://espn.go.com/espnw/culture/feature/article/1...
Thank you LAstar for posting it at:
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/135/topic...
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Thanks for the link.
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Pretty awesome & fierce!
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