The Hermit Club
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Jazzy I'm glad u'r home and safe but I know super tired, rest as much as u can.
And unfortunately I barely know about URL I know u have to put it in somewhere somehow, but maybe someone knows--Not Teka Not me.
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Jazzy I read that wrong--I can copy pictures most of the time but I never know exactly what will pick up--I can do it off a Picassa site and FB--This is what I do--OK her goes--- I go to the Picture, Press the left side of the mouse or on ur computer and there wik be a list of things to do --ress on the right side where it says copy. OK then go to where u want to put it and again press the left side where it says past, press paste and usually this little OK thing will come up and u answer yes and then viola there is u. picture.
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Hi hermits- have not been able to get it to work yet. The pictures are on my computer and I try to do a copy and paste or control C and control v to cut and paste but no luck. Will try again soon!
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Glad you're safely home, Jazzy.
Hope you each and all are doing well.
Finally rained. Almost impossible to drive; flooded roads. All at once.
School starts Monday! eek!
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Jazzy it just dawned on me--I take a while--U'r home already, it seemed like we just said have a fun trip like 3 days ago. WTF is going on.?
OMG U too Skittle school already, ours starts in 2 weeks but that was fast. So fast.
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I have to say i am upset no one wished me well for my surgery or asked how i am or in fact showed any interest. I thought i belonged here for support and to hopefully support others but it seems i was wrong.
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OMG Lilly I'm so so sorry, sometimes we miss something Oh please forgive us we're so helpful, I think--I have to look back and see--what surgery and when---Really Lily please forgive us it wasn't done on purpose.
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Lilly I went back pages and didn't see anything on it. I'm so sorry.
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Lily... How are you? I am so sorry you feel injured/ignored. I think we have all felt that. Every thread fragments with the separated entries and "pages" turning, and no one can keep up. I have never meant to ignore anyone and am sure all hermits feel the same. We each respond to the immediacy of what is in the former two or three posts. I know I miss a few days now and then, and lose track of what/who/when. (Like Laurie and Lori haven't posted in a while. It doesn't mean they're forgotten or unloved; it just means they're quiet and we await their news.) You are always valued and held dear--it's just things happen so fast, we can't all keep up. I know my brain is on overload with getting the classroom together, the passing of a friend, a crisis with dd2, a dog bite, se's, ripping out carpeting, on and on. It does not mean I have not thought of you or prayed for you. (When I went to the beach, for example, I traced each and every hermit I had come into contact with here into the sand... and watched the sunset as the waves lapped us gently together... You were there.) Again, how are you? Surgery went well? Recovering w/o too much pain? We do care.
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I was sure i had.....sorry if not, today i feel wretched, prob cos not allowed to wear any kind of brest shape for six weeks so its bringing a lot of upset back and i cannot get comfortable today
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Lily, Hoping each hour gets better for you. Not an easy time. I'm so sorry.
Teka,
Markat, How are you? Camille, hanging in there? Laurie, Good news on nerve healing?
Jazzy, jet lag getting lessened? Marilyn, Curve, bgirl, Lori, Spookiesmom, Slick, and all others... wishing you decent days with those you care about.
Just saw The Butler. Worth the ticket. Lots of historic references.
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Lily it's super hard to get comfy--are u in a recliner with a pillow under u arms? I didn't lie down cuz it pulled to much, I thought but sitting up I was fine--wait do u have drains right, are they held up properly in pocekts or pinned ?
Boy Skittle u rushed right out to the show good for u. Well u start school Monday tho.
Everyone is kinda quiet, so hopefully that's good.
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Lilly55: Geez, I'm really sorry about missing your surgery! I certainly was not trying to be neglectful or uncaring, I promise. Are you feeling ok?
Camillegal: OMG, going back to work is exhausting. I'm not even working full shifts & I'm so beat that I haven't even walked my dog since Tuesday! Maybe if I had a less physically demanding job...regarding brunch on Sunday, why not ask your brother to fill your plate? You can just point out what you would like!
Jazzy!!! Glad you are back! Get those pics posted!!!0 -
Hi hermits- ugh, hard re-entry this week. Jet lag still kicking my butt, especially this morning. I had to DRAG myself out of bed and could barely get awake. But now the weekend is here and hopefully after the next three nights, I will be back to normal. I love traveling to Europe and Hawaii but more than three hours of time change really gets me! You know what is also hard about coming back from vacation too, three days later, it is like you never went anywhere! I know, silly me, complaining about time change and the like, I did get to go to Hawaii, right?
Lily- I have not been here much in the past few weeks so I am sorry if I missed anything about your upcoming surgery. I am sorry things are hard for you and that you are uncomfortable right now. Hugs coming your way.
Slicki- what kind of work do you do? Are you waitressing? I had a really hard time going back to work and I have a desk job. I worked 30 hours a week for months and would just leave when I got tired. But I also work for myself and worked it out with my client to do so. Maybe shorter shifts if you can for awhile. Employers are not always easy with this stuff though.
Skittle- busy time getting ready for the school year. I saw an article on children and hunger I need to find and post here. It speaks to things we have talked about here in the past.
Teka- hope your MO visit went well. Croaking frogs, linger sounds of summer.
Cami- I only went to Hawaii for a week so we spent lots of time building up to it and then it was gone in a flash. It was a good full week though and I felt like I got enough vacation time. I am more of a homebody these days, so I a week out of town is about all I really like anymore.
Hawaii tidbit #1- I love sea turtles and the cove on our beach had lots of reef area, with beautiful fish and several sea turtles, big and small. They are so sweet and docile and not afraid of you. You could get right up close to them and observe them grazing the coral reef. Then they would come up for air and be right in front of you! You could also seem them swimming in pairs along the shoreline together. We also saw a cool white colored eel too.
Time to take my jetlagged butt to bed. Wishing all of you a better day tomorrow for those who are tired, hurting, feeling sad, etc. Hugs to one and all.
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I feel guilty now, thanks for your pts.......
No drains had the Lollipop shape reduction, its the fat transfer areas that are most sore, donor and chest, adhesions were so fixed to rib they had to cut through them......injecting myself the blood thinners! Just feel shattered ...........waiting for biopsy results but i think will be ok...... If not my only pert breast will have to go.....0 -
Lily I'm not familiar with any of that type of procedure, I hat to say it, but it sounds awful. PAIN meds. is all I can say Ribs involved and everything. Oh
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No i am just using homeopathy, pain meds make me nauseous and i cough and hurt more - here are details, its a lot easier on the healing....
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2884717/
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Lily I read some of that but I get lost easily with procedures--I don't even know what I had or even asked (I know that's stupid) but it worked for me--but if u'r not taking anything it has to be harder for u, I think any cutting in or on u'r brest is very painful, but I never had that, I just had them both taken and no recon and that; not ainful at all. I'm sorry I just don't understand all this stuff--U'd think I would be up on everything but I'm not at all.
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No worries breast is least painful hardly hurts! But the rest....
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I had to reboot my computer it was acting up so I didn't get back to u Lily, but I hope the pain gets going so u can relax more.
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Lily... ouch. Completely. I hope you feel better soon!!
Jazzy... Love sea turtles! We used to walk the beaches and see the taped off areas protecting nesting grounds in Florida. It was amazing to see all the "scoop" footprints of them heading for sea.
Slick... Take care. Give yourself time.
Camille... Hoping you feel ok and have good times with family. We're off to dd1's for dinner later tonight. Love having my daughters close by.
It has gotten very quiet around here. Hope everyone is just taking a summer break from the boards. Maybe just lots of lurking. Well, hugs to all. Have to go fill out a grade book in pencil... Pen comes after we know who is staying and who is moving away. Can't believe they'll all be walking in on Monday! Lots of sleepy kiddos. :-)
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Good Morning Everyone,
I have been following the threads, but am not able to write from my phone. Sometimes I feel like I am being nosey, however I do care about everyone. Its funny how I get an image of people, judging by how you write and interests. I have tried to post a picture on here, but am not successful.
DH and I went to iowa to look at land to hunt. He got a tag to hunt deer in that state, so he had to get permission from farmers. This involved many hours of driving. We stayed in a bed and breakfast in Atlantic Iowa. Room was cheap, but that's because the room was missing window trim, and had broken cracked plaster. The rest of the house was restored and was full of beautiful antiques..The outside looked like a home that should be torn down (that too is being renovated) I compare it to the show "Green Acres"....but what made up for it, was the owner was a gourmet cook.
The first part of the trip was tense and disappointing...DH and I had a hurtful conversation. The worst part about these conflicts is that I struggle with feeling guilty having these hurt feelings, which result in tears. I feel like most women would deal with pain in a much more stoic way, or maybe most women wouldn't be so fragile. We did have a final conversation (two days later when he wanted bedroom fun), and I calmly clarified my good intentions, and he never got his fun, lol The conflict started over me asking him if there is any secrets that he has never shared with anyone or me....( was just trying to make conversation during the long drive) I also like to have intimate conversations about us and our marriage. And I recently shared something very personal that I never told him, however I didn't expect him to share a deep dark secret. He got very angry over this question and felt that I was interrogating him, and that I am implying that he killed someone.And told me to stop explaining why I would ask that,(having a secret) and said I was just repeating myself and dragging the whole thing on..... I am sharing this to you all, in hopes that I can get some perspective as to how I can deal with this. I don't really talk to anyone about "husbands and conflict" it would be nice how everyone handles pain. I don't expect anyone to work out my situation, but just how marriage is for you all.....I hope everyone is doing good...Welcome home Jazzy....C.C are you doing ok?? The smiling man with big teeth makes me appreciate my less than perfect smile....Oh how cool it is to see people be so free spirited. Blondie, Im thinking about you.....Lilly, sorry to read about the lack of support...I have no explanation for not supporting you, I just don't recall reading your posts about surgery. I truely want to support everyone.....
Take care everyone....hugs to all............
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What impact has his deep dark secret had on your feelings Lori? That seems to me to be key, as you sound shocked and rattled
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Lori I have no real experience in this in any of my marriages I knew there was baggage and I didn't want to know anymore than I could see or figure out myself. Maybe that's why I'm not married. But I think as a woman u were trying to connect with one thing that was just for the 2 of u, but then again it might not be what u want to hear. And I always say (as everone knows) there are no rules to cancer--how u take it, how u feel. what SE's u have, what sadness fills u'r heart--we are all alone in that, but if u'r married u want u'r husband go share and some feel like their DH should know what to do---I don't think they have a clue--u'r different right now--and they feel inadequate in how to handle this. This is so personal it's just difficult trying to explain how u feel and even if u and I had the exact same type and treatment we woud still be alone in our feeling tho we can understand better. I will say tho I would never want my husband to ask me that question hahaha cuz I'd lie. I wish u could find peace in u'r heart and u would feel better about all of this, I know it's horrible but what can we do.?
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I missed some posts this morning, Lilly I hope you are doing ok, yikes you must have a high tolerance for pain. Boy I don't know what I would of done if I couldn't of taken pain meds. Far too often they do cause nausea. I hope you can heal and not have any stress during this recuperation. When will you get biopsy report? I will say some prayers for you....Cami, it was interesting you said you didn't understand everything about the procedure or certain details about your cancer, because I too didn't know or understand everything either and felt inept. But heck one gal I ran into(from my job), and also a stranger that talked to me at a flea market didn't know what type of cancer they had. Its just amazing how I can rip myself apart over stuff, and sometimes I find out that others are simular....
Thanks for your input about the marriage. I know I have talked about this for a while, I guess I feel lost at times. I am trying to figure out how to be married and deal with this cancer crap. A cousellar I saw a while back, told me there is an adustment when a newly married....and there was an obvious detour shortly after getting married,(cancer) I guess at this point I like to vent, and if anyone shares simular issues that I can learn from, that would be great. I will be seeing a psychologist in a few weeks, for "cognitive therapy" and maybe he can help with marrital things....idk, I am simply dissapointed in my DH. I always thought he would be more nurturing. It seems he is ....when he wants something, if ya catch my drift, which bugs the snot out of me.... My days are good for the most part, I feel happy...but I am reduced to tears at least once every two weeks....it's all strange. But thanks for taking the time to read my posts. I do appreciate it. Blondie, I hope you are doing ok....Its a beautiful night....I am going to look for a pie recipe. Take Care little hermits.
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Icona pop? will check it out...Thanks Teka
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Lori Teka says few words but what she says is on the nose, or is it tail, or nail whatever. LOL
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cami...you are so funny....yes Teka is a good egg.....
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Lori- I am sorry you are having such a hard time with your DH. Like Cami, I am without a husband and did not have any sort of significant other going through my treatment with me. Just some family from afar, and my network of friends where I live. But what I can say is that not everyone is able to support us the way we would like them to. I am sure it must be disappointing that he cannot be there more for you in ways you need right now. Men are just so different emotionally than us.
I do think you and your DH would benefit from some counseling time together. My sense is is you are both upset and having a hard time communicating effectively through this difficult time. I think it is good you have some time planned for yourself for cognitive therapy. Maybe the therapist may have some good suggestions for next steps for the two of you.
Also, something that helped me when I was going through my active treatment phase (surgery, then radiation) was to establish some "time out" topics or zones. No one knows exactly how that feels for us, so I would take little breaks and to avoid things I did not want to talk about, including my cancer, feelings about cancer, etc. My sister and I used to have "cancer free sunday" where we would both agree to have a conversation that did not include treatment updates, SEs, other worries, etc. as we went through bc treatment in tandem. It is not to say that you cannot and should not have discussions about things with DH or anyone else, it is just a way to create boundaries so you get a break. You can do the same with other subjects too (like secrets).
Also, feeling okay and then crying is TOTALLY normal. We all have ways to cope and get through what we must do, but we also need to release. Trust me, there are still some very down days, teary days, etc. for me too. Less with time, but you never know what will set you and your fears off. I don't think you need to worry about being stoic or braver through any of this. You are plenty brave enough and need to feel to heal. You just need to get through to the other side of this. And you will. It does not feel this bad forever.
And know no matter who is with you and what they are able to hear or not hear, we are always here for you.
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