The Hermit Club
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yes, happy birthday Onco!
Are my girls in the Northeast getting any break soon? My friend from Maine is coming down in a week or so and I can't wait to see her, but I can't guarantee she's going to go back home!
Seven treatments left with my radiation and sort of hit a wall today, I told the radiologist that I was not coming back unless he convinced me I had to. Well of course he did. He said that the last week of radiation is actually what we've been working up to does the most benefit. Damn. Now I have to finish this chit.
So I have another job interview tomorrow. It should be fun. My hair is at the point where I am either a coming out late in life lesbian, or I'm just very brave and have a chic supershort haircut. It no longer looks like cancer person.
I am not wearing my wig!
Other place I interviewed at I never heard from again, you should've seen them when I gave them the cancer story. They thought it was catching or something. From now on I am a master of omission. I've done my research and I don't have to tell them Jack until an offer is extended. And there are parameters with that as well.
Anyway, I'm struggling but trying to do my best. It's very difficult as you all can relate. I really do want to get back to work, even if it's just something different but temporary.
You won't be surprised to know that I'm cooking again! Today it's homemade beef stew in the crockpot. I wish I could insert the smell of it here, it is going to be awesome! Instead, I'll show you what the kitties were doing today.
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Bippy- sorry you are having a hard time with rads. I hope you can get through the last of it. I was thinking you were in week 4 but think you may be ahead of Mags if you are down to the last week. I think the radiation is cumulative and one must complete the protocol to ensure they get everything. It sucks, I know, I did it too but had internal rads which went faster, but still no fun. Sending you love and energy to get through the last of it.
Here is what I might suggest to you as you look for employment vs. disclosing things that will only hurt your chances at being selected. Decide what you need before you go in to these interview. So for example, if you think you need to work PT for awhile, ask about the job hours. If they say 40 for sure, then you may be able to negotiate something if you get the offer to work PT on site, and PT from home. Some employers are more open to remote work these days than others.
When I went back to work end of 2012 and was actually going through treatment then, I told my client site (who really wanted me to come help them with this work) that I had had some surgery and needed to work PT for awhile. Didn't say much more, but they agreed. I also had to step away twice to do the rads (which included going out of town for that). All I said was that I had to have some therapy related to my surgery and just needed to be able to work from home so I could come and go to those apts. I never said what kind of therapy either.
Now the client there is someone I have known a long time and know she was worried about me and at one point said "are you okay?" I said yes, and that I would be able to do the work for them with the agreed to schedule. They brought me in to take over for someone who was non-performing, so I did not want them to think I was going to be another problem for them. One of my friends said I should tell my client, but then knew I was putting her in a difficult situation and it would have damaged our relationship. So I never said anything and finished that contract last year. My relationship with her is primarily professional, and I let that be my guide.
I was able to get the work done they needed even around the altered schedule. I just did not want anyone to know about my bc, or to have anyone use it against me then or in the future. We like to believe people are nice about this stuff, but they are not. To this day, they never have know nor will they. I have totally kept it out of my professional community. Besides, no one's biz anyways! And you are not beholden to disclose it to anyone either. Between you and your doctors and your insurance company, everyone else you share with is your choice.
I think you are going to be tired for awhile after the rads (I know was) so pace yourself and don't take on too much too quickly. Your body is going to let you know what it will and won't do. I worked PT for the first threes months back to work, including the time doing my rads treatment.
I hope you get a great new job that brings you income and also balance to take care of yourself!
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The dog has been really good about me not going totally outside with him. I stand on the back porch and wait for him.
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jazzy, you are the bestest!
I had so many teenaged blistering sunburns. Fueled by hormones, youth and illegal and legal substances. All were more fun. They sure hurt less. Or maybe I do not remember? Possible. Well. i am going thru all the way, now, for cancer spite. F&ck you, cancer. Eat this radiation, how does it TASTE?
Yeah, I am on the need to know protocol now. You would like to think people are open minded and gracious, but NO they are not. Whatevah. Also, I have been applying for caregiver and housecleaning, petsitter jobs on care.com. Really, I want zippo legal work, for now and the near future. I hope it hooks up, I was an excellent caregiver, cook, cleaner for many relatives during their illnesses, declines, etc. my area is ripe with wealthy elderly that need assistance with basic needs like food, shopping, driving, housecleaning, etc. and, they are lonely. i would have such rewards from doing that vs, sitting my fat but at a desk all day.
have a nice night, hermies. My kittaehs send their love, grudgingly.
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Hi, ladies! I'm new in this community and hoping it is ok that I am posting here. I was recently diagnosed with Stage 1 IDC, have had an excisional biopsy and will be having another surgery next week to check the lymph nodes. After that I will have 5 weeks of radiation. I feel very fortunate right now that this is all I have to face. But I also feel like this is ALL I have to face. I don't want to do ANYTHING! I just want to focus on the task at hand and get through it all then resume my life. I wish there was a pause button that I could push to put the rest of the world on hold while I do what I have to do and then when I'm done I can hit play again.
Right now my biggest issue is that, because I don't know what to expect during radiation, I do not want to work. I just want to focus on going to the appointments and being well! I also suffer from Fibromyalgia and my immune system has already been compromised since dealing with all of this. I'm generally a well person in terms of the common illnesses and still I've have both a sinus infection and the flu in the last month and a half. Also, I am a wife, mother to a 10 & almost 8 year old, and a 2nd grade teacher and Thirty-One Gifts Director. I am worried about the exhaustion and being exposed to all the lovely germs my little lovies share if I do work. And I honestly just don't feel like my head has been in the game since this whole things started on December 10th. I know some people work and I guess I really feel guilty thinking I "can't" and really that don't want to work while I do what I have to do.
Guess I'm just looking for validation (or a swift kick in the booty
) in coming here to vent. Thanks for reading! Many prayers for all of you to happy and healthy! 0 -
Jknee- welcome to our thread. We know it is hard in the beginning, many of us were there, some here are in treatment, and we have newbees like yourself that come here to have support as they start this journey. We will be here to listen, to share what has helped us, and especially when you are having a bad day and need to rant! Really nice group of folks here and we try to support and encourage each other. Occasionally we have a good laugh here too, especially when Cami shows up!
You have a very busy life on top of having bc. I always like to tell people, figure out what you have to do for treatment and to keep the basics going for you and your family, and park what you don't have to do right now. Sometimes you have to figure that out as you go along. Many things you enjoy may go away for awhile, but the good news is, you can and will find your way back to them as you recover.
Don't be afraid to ask for help either, especially since you have young children that need to be looked after. Getting a good support system around you is key to getting through this. Some people have many in their support network, others have a few people. You just need to have people who can show up and help when you need it.
About radiation, we have some ladies here going through external rads right now so they may be able to advise you of their experiences so far. I did internal rads and was tired from it. I worked PT during my radiation treatment. If you can go on FMLA or the like and are able to do what you need to financially, then don't work. Everyone here is different with respect to working or not. Some have not, some have, and others have done it PT. I really had to (self employed) and found a way to make it work. You might be tired for awhile after rads too.
There are rads threads here and perhaps good to join one of those too?
Let us know how we can help?
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Thanks Jazzygirl!
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Sending everyone here some positive thoughts and alot
caring hugs, Please take care and welcome Jknee to a
wonderful caring place.
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We are hanging in there, went to Costo with a friend and Faith loved the
walking and I came home tired be felt good getting out.
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Yes but very glad I got out!
My lung is still sore so I am being careful.
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Yes and at night I have to cough with a sleeping mask on.
I have alittle dark lung
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Sleep well and God be with You.
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Thank You, send a lot of cyber caring thoughts your way.
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jknee, Jazzy gives great advice. This cancer experience can be very draining. You should not feel guilty whatever you decide. Just remember to value your own needs. I am not currently working. My husband and I were just discussing my return-to-work schedule today. We agreed that I would wait until after my recovery from oophorectomy in March and adjustment to SE from switching to an AI in April. We thought maybe I should focus on family over the summer and make a fresh start in the Fall. Don't feel pressured by anyone outside your family.
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Welcome jknee! This group of gals have kept me sane since I joined here last year.
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Onco- LOL! That is funny! Hope things are getting better for you every day.
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Happy Friday the 13th, Valentine Day (tomorrow) and/or Presidents Day (monday) to everyone. Pick your holiday and enjoy!
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good news!!!
I got a part time gig! And, it is for an attorney that I know well, not an ahole, she does parenting coordination and protects children. Guess what else? She got dx with uterine cancer the day I found my lumps. She has fought a similar battle. She gets it. And, I will be learning Quickbooks, which is very in demand here. So free training and being paid for it!
I go tomorrow and it will be one day a week to start, any day I choose.
hermets, I am Busting. Cannot convey my happiness. Who knew, feeling normal is such a blessing?
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Great news Bippy!
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Yay Bippy. Quickbooks is everywhere! (I have used it at small businesses in several industries.) You will develop a very valuable skill! I think the best situation is one where you like the people that you work with... Hope the first day was all that you imagined... Celebrate your opportunity, Valentine's Day, and President's Day this weekend !!
Jazzy, Hope this weekend brings you both joy and peacefulness.
Mommy, are you expecting snow as well? another foot here? Stay warm and cozy.
Onco, very funny! No Yoga for me, though. I can't focus that well. Just throw me on a treadmill or a stationary bike.
I am off to breakfast with my hubby and then to dig my son's car out of the snow - he has the flu so I won't be visiting with him! I am supervising snow removal
Hope you all have plans for a rejuvenating weekend.
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Thanks so much ladies! I'm from Pennsylvania. Just taking on day at a time. This upcoming Tuesday is the Sentinel Node Biopsy day. Planning on taking the entire rest of the week. And I have had the opportunity to speak with HR regarding income protection. I had a good and much needed cry on Tuesday and have felt better. Looking forward to connecting with more ladies. You see like fun group & laughter is definitely the best medicine! Just to prove my point... in light of the recent developments and all the breast conversations I just had to get this card from my husband. LOL
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Jknee- so they are checking your nodes after your lumpectomy. The sentinal node incision may be a bit more uncomfortable for awhile, but they heal well and mine are barely noticeable 2.5 years later.
Sounds like your job gave you some info on FMLA, which is a good thing to do.
Love your card. Sometimes we do cry and we need to, but laughter is also very good medicine for what we got going on here.
We hope you will like it here with us!
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Got snow, but not like we have been getting
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Sun is out but the wind is gusting
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