The Hermit Club
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Lookingforward- a lot of these veggies start in hot houses in the very early spring. The open lots get planted later after freeze and so we have veggies coming spring through fall. Today's bounty was good. No good tomatoes yet, but still early for those.
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Yay for Dwill, and hoping she is looking forward to a nice summer and a new chapter opening!
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Jazzy-thank you so much for the encouragement and tips! I told co-workers before I left and am friends with several on FB who know how I am doing. I am more afraid of the social over-stimulation than what I am going to say to them. After all, most of the conversations I have had this whole time were in my own head over who should or shouldn't get chopped on Chopped! 😀
Lily-sorry you have to wait for the 21st for your appt, but praying for a good outcome for you.
Lookingforward and Teka, would love decaf coffee and meeting up with you all there! (Have to avoid caffeine due to migraines, but love coffee and decaf is a good placebo!)
Teka-oh my goodness that pic!!! Roflmao!!! 😂😂😂
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Happy Father's Day Hermits!
Teka that looks SO fun!!
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Teka, we are looking at mid 80s here in my area.
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Happy Father's Day to all the women with dads, and husbands, and sons who are fathers!
It is going to be in the 100s here again today.
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Teka- that is so nice.
Did you go to the kite festival today for Father's Day?
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Beautiful Teka. Thank you for sharing.
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Teka- a friend here found two abandoned kittens and brought them in from the heat. So beautiful and wish I could adopt one or both, but cannot with allergies.
Here is one that I think is a Maine coon and so beautiful. I am trying to circulate the info to my friends here who love animals and hoping to find homes for these cuties. The other appears to be a siamese kitten.
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Awww! Jazzygirl that kitty is soooo cute!!
Thank you Teka-so sweet!
Well this crab went back to work on Thursday and I realized how much I have missed civilization. I am exhausted but so grateful to feel productive and more "normal" again. I also realized how much I started talking to myself during the time of chemo and surgery recovery! I'm sure because I was the only one to keep myself company most of the time!
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Georgia- going back to work is hard, but also good. It will help you to work towards finding your way back to your 'new normal.' Glad you have some routines going again.
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Thank you, Jazzygirl. You hit the nail on the head, as you seem to do often with your wise words. My "new normal" has begun! 🎉 I also got such a wonderful welcome back lunch party and they even decorated my office door!❤️
How are all you other hermits doing? Getting outside more with nice weather
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Georgia having a sense of purpose and being productive will heal your soul. I found I was emotionally drained after treatment and wished I was still working How nice of your co-workers to celebrate your return to work.
I do spend a lot of time outdoors, my retirement gift to me was a new bike.
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I am joining the hermit club. In between surgery three weeks ago and the scans and tests and all that has gone into leading up to chemo, I just want to hide and watch British detective shows and period dramas and snuggle my dogs. I've always been solitary and a home body but I just don't want to talk to anyone else right now about this besides my husband! I don't know if that's healthy but I am so tired of updating people and seeing their reactions and trying to explain how I feel to people. Maybe I will snap out of it, but for now I'm hiding and I don't want to feel guilty about it anymore.
Even my family, who are taking a break (mostly) from disfunction and caring for me with such support and love-it's hard to talk to them thinking about how much I love them and feel like I am causing them pain. My mom has a hard time finding good outlets for her emotions and so when I call her she just cries and I feel like I'm consoling her when it should be the other way around. When she visits (she's 3 hours away) she's great and goes into high gear taking great care of me and my husband. When she's back home she feels powerless so gets so upset and it's not very comforting. I have a lot of empathy but no energy for it.
I especially feel guilty about how much my husband is doing for us right now. We do have an excellent support system and he is doing a good job of taking care of himself and me. He actually says every day how proud he is of me because he says I'm coping. I see it as just checking out and not being strong enough to get myself up and around and be superror positive all the time.
Anyway there's 400 something pages here on the topic so I figured it would do me some good to try to relate to other hermits a bit.
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Lind- welcome to the Hermits thread. We have all been where you have been, some still in that place and others of us chose hermitage as we need to. I found it not only helpful but necessary to do this when going through treatment. It is an overwhelming time and not one where we have the time, energy or interest to explain things or comfort others. Just not our job, but it comes at us regardless.
Can your husband or a trusted friend be a filter for you with others? It sounds like your husband and family are extremely supportive. Maybe you could give your mom the job to be the go to person with others, gives her something to do when she cannot be with you? Friends and family feel helpless sometimes and want to do more. I have seen others here find a person to be the person for others to go to to ask if they can do anything, etc. You can tell your mom or whomever what you wanted shared or not. We are not beholden to the world to share everything about this. Many of us don't. You can decide how much or little you want to share with others. This is your journey and your process, no one elses.
Sounds like you are up for chemo next and many here have gone through that here and can give you some good advice for how to handle some of the SEs.
Let us know how else we can help?
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Lindzanne welcome to the thread and sorry you are here. There is no right or wrong way. You are scared , numb and overwhelmed ,home is your sanctuary and where you feel safe. My husband was very emotional as well, he even passed out in the surgeons office, but he was there for me, the same as your Mom is for you. I know it's hard being the strong one, take one day at a time.
I found it hard to keep motivated, but I tried to keep busy just to keep my mind off negative thoughts. I am also a big fan of British detective shows, have you checked out acorn tv. I have enough cross stitch projects done to supply everyone in my family lol.
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Lookingforward-Thank you so much! You are so right! I feel like the broken pieces are being put back together again in my body, mind and spirit. Yes I am so blessed! Awesome retirement gift!!
Love that one, Jazzygirl!! 😂
Welcome to the Hermit Club, Lindzanne! It definitely is a survival mode, a good protective mechanism. It served me well to be the biggest hermit I have ever been during chemo and surgery. You won't have energy to make others' feel better. Thank goodness you have a loving husband and mother who can hold household things together and be there when you need them. I agree about having someone filter and update the other people you don't have the energy for. My husband did this fabulously.
This thread is great because we have lots in common and there are some of the sweetest, wisest women in here. Who would have thought crabs would be so sweet? 🦀And funny! So funny. I hope you do well with whatever treatments await
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Thank you all for your kind replies. I feel validated.
I don't feel quite so much like a crab, or maybe I feel a bit proud to be one now? 😂
Jazzygirl I do think having a specific job for my mom would help. I do think I'll ask her to come help after chemo treatments so my husband won't feel bad about going to work if I'm feeling sick. I haven't started yet so don't know how it will affect me, and I'm going to try to work through it, but I know it will make her happy to just come do whatever is necessary and I will be very grateful for her help. Right now in this "in between" stage there's just a lot of hurry up and wait.
Lookingforward I have heard of acorn TV, very grateful for it right now!
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Wishing everyone a safe and relaxing July 4th weekend!
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Haha I just had my first chemo today so I think my 4th of July plans are that triathlon, Jazzygirl!
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LOL Jazzygirl that will be me tomorrow at least!
Lindzanne- hang on to your hat, it will be quite a ride. Things that used to stress me don't anymore, because chemo and surgery made me feel more grateful than ever. Survivor takes on a new meaning! Hope you can rest a lot this whole week and beyond.
Happy 4th of July Hermit buddies
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Lindzanne we always think the worst about having chemo, but you may find you are able to enjoy some July 4 celebrations. It is Canada day here
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Happy Canada day Lookforward! I went to college about an hour from Vancouver and we used to hop in the car and drive up some weekends since we could get into bars and clubs younger than in the US. One night unwittingly we landed there on Canada Day---we could not figure out what the heck was going on! Traffic at a standstill, wall to wall people everywhere cheering and carousing, I remember a drunk guy roller blading through the traffic waving a giant Canadian flag........we finally figured out what was going on and got a parking space and had a great time celebrating Canada. Ah, ignorant Americans!
If anything I can pretty much walk down the block from our place to get a great view of the fireworks in Seattle over Lake Washington, we shall see!
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Lindzanne getting into a bar when when you can't at home is always fun, glad you enjoyed the Canada day celebrations. Hope you get to see the fireworks
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Finally got much needed rain yesterday.
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Teka- that is great news about Footprints and getting a new service dog. She was so heartbroken when Faith passed unexpectedly. Thanks for sharing that as I have not heard from her in awhile. I am going to reach out to her via PM.
Sandwich looks yummo! Sorry about skunking.
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Awesome news about Debbie and her new service dog
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Happy Canada Day Lookingforward!
Lindzanne, it sounds like your area is beautiful. I am in love with Seattle.
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