The Hermit Club
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Markat I love to see 'r name on here. I never heard of these lunch services for kids--I thik it's wonderful.
Skittle good that u'll have the same room--and U painted--How original and they let u. Good thiking. It doesn't seem possible that school will be out soom. Joey gets out at the beginning of June and I'm so excited --I love having hime home.Not my own kids when they were little--I had to work and figure alot out. Now I just enjoy him and we stay up later and talk and cuddle.He's at the garage sale now til he leaves for school.
My GF sent me a Visa gift card for my BD and I'm going crazy with what I want--I saw a cute pair of shoes that I'm going to order and my hair stuff.--so far and I wnt to get Joey 2 sleeveless tees so that should be it.It's just fun to shop for this.
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Cam have a good time
Mark thanks for checking in, sorry about mom...you are a good daughter
Jazzy you are so awesome
skittle you deserve a break, you are not working during the summer are you?
Have a great weekend.....will bbl
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TGIF my hermit peeps! I am working at home today as my client site has driven me to the edge. Cannot get any work done there, so I am staying home and taking care of some things while I work away.
Cami- what day is your birthday? I love that you got a gift cert to spend! Send us a picture of your new shoes! And hope the party is fun! You deserve to enjoy yourself.
Skittle- I am glad to hear they have programs for lunch for the kids. I have heard some don't get a meal any other time, which is so heart breaking. How can this be in our country? I know the food pantries here are always desperate for donations and donate regularly. So many families in need.
Markat- I wish I could send you a nice foamy coffee drink!
Blondie- hope you are doing okay with the chemo.
Gotta get back to work. Love and hugs to all the women here!
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Jazzy my niece's BD is today--she turs 50-ooo and I call her to wish her a HB, mine is tomorrow 68 and then she call me--we have done this for 45 years--2 phone calls--it's so silly.
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Cami- happy birthday! You go girl, and I hope you have a wonderful day. May you have a year filled with much love, good health, and plenty of hermit time!
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Camille--Happy birthday!! Gift card is a great picker upper. So much to choose from.
Enjoy. blondie-- In our district they require a minimum of 60 hours of professional development, so you have to attend seminars and technology updates and latest/greatest whatevers. (It's really not that bad, and I'll have lots of time off--yay! and then begin planning for August.) There's a new twist this year with added classes online--for awareness of maltreatment and suicide since teachers are mandatory reporters. I took quite a few classes in December to renew my license, and it was so very depressing. (especially losing one of my former sweeties.)
Jazzy--most people wouldn't believe the hunger some kids face daily. Even when teachers provide supplemental snacks and high-calorie nutrition boosts (on the sly) some are painfully thin. (Sometimes parents on meth, so that's where their money goes.) It's mind boggling. Yet then we have kids who vacation on cruises and take a week off to go on exotic trips. The haves and the have nots are really far apart.
markat--the only food banks our community has are church-based. There's no civic one, so I think the school system feels obligated to pick up the slack. I like that it's open to all--not just K-12 or certain neighborhoods... And some of the ladies who cook daily love the getting out of the house during the summer months (unlike most hermits who take joy in the break from forced-out-of-the-nest mingling... of which I am often guilty.) I hope you are bearing up well under all the strain and pressure. Perhaps the laughter of little girls home for summer will brighten your days. Hugs...
Lori--all ok? Laurie--have you hopped on the roller coaster? Hang on tight!
Teka--keep dancing!
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Hi Everyone,
I finished the last of the adryamiacn/cytoxin yesterday and today I feel good physically. Not so good emotionally. I am going back to work, and to cut to the chase, I do not feel welcomed to come back by my boss, (some things happened prior to me leaving), where she underminded me. However I apologized for my reaction to it all. I still felt hurt and angry because she also said some hurtful things to me, but I guess when you are the boss, that is acceptable, and she didn't see the need to apologize. After my surgery I had my husband and kids call certain people the status of my surgery.My boss wasn't on the list to call, but the higher up boss was called (she asked repeatedly to be called) My staff was also on the list to be called, I am close to them, and they have turned out to be the most supportive. One day post up, I recieved a text message from my boss, and she proceeds to tell me how "mean" I am for not calling me about her and telling her the outcome of my surgery. This sent me into a tales spin and my husband was furious at how incredibally insensitive this was. Needless to say I have not heard from any department heads the past 12 weeks, clearly given a cold shoulder. This is all bizarre and very dissapointing...so I am set to go back, my staff are so excited, and if it wasn't for them, I don't know how I could do it. SO my question to throw out is, how do I deal with entering a work place where I am not wanted? This has been all devastating for me. Not only am I dealing with this cancer crap, but the job situation is not good. Thanks for allowing me to vent.....Hope all is well with everyone.
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You are wanted by your staff and co workers...focus on them
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Lori- I am sorry your re-entry to work is going to be tough. The boss sounds like a not nice person, and it sounds like she is trying to make this about her. As Lily says, your co workers will embrace you so move towards that. I think the boss only needs to know a certain amount of info, like if you have to be out on FMLA or the like, no one needs to know the details of our treatment. As a matter of fact, the less people know, the better, especially in the work place.
I have watched my sister go through some amazing things with her workplace with people who either knew or suspected. She has a great way of letting folks know that talking about her bc treatment is not a subject she chooses to share at work. It may sound a bit harsh or rude, but most folks just want to know you are doing okay and most need to know nothing else.
Hope you are greeted with kindness upon re-entry.
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Lori... Due to current law, HIPAA, you do not have to disclose your health details to anyone you choose not to. As for your mean-spirited boss, it depends on the required level of interaction between the two of you. (The worst principal I ever had accused me, in front of the student involved, that I had said the "f word" in class and parents were calling and complaining... it was awful--and of course not true...) You can "kill 'em with kindness" by always smiling and being gracious and agreeable, or you can try a degree of physical avoidance, or if it is out of hand, report the behavior to whatever grievance committee or advocate at work. But like Lily and Jazzy suggest, focus on those who welcome you with open arms. Spend your energies on healing and their comfort. (and know all hermits are here to buoy you up or just hear you vent.) Hugs for strength...
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Hello my hermit family!
Camille..Happy Birthday tomorrow! 68 is my son's lucky baseball number!
Skittle...love you as always. You are SOOOO kind and sweet. Hi Jazzy, Lily, Lori,Teka and all of the rest....:) Markat, SO good to hear from you. We have all been SO worried. Praying for you and your mom all of the time. Things are fine here. I have my surgery soon and I am really looking forward to it. I had most of my pre-op stuff done the other day. I have one week left of work and then I will be off until the middle of July. I can't wait to hermit.
One thing new is that I finally went public with my DX. I wrote out my story (how I skipped all of my mammograms and don't be like me....early detection is key....please spread the word) and I posted it on facebook. I cannot tell you how overwhelmed I am with the response. It has had over 50 shares!! That means it has reached well over 1000 people so far! I am overwhelmed with messages from strangers and friends sending their love and thanks. I have had SO many tell me that they are going to schedule their mammograms due to my story.
It is spreading like wildfire and I am SO very happy. One of the baseball moms called me today and shared that she had a BMX 8 years ago and never went public. She cried on the phone telling me she wanted to be there for me. We talked for about 30 min. It feels so good to talk to someone that knows the jargon and the feelings. I am so glad I went public. I feel like it is my responsibility to do SOMETHING to help others. I knew all of you would be happy to hear this.My daughter is three months along now and struggling with weakness, nausea and the like. Poor thing. She as all of the resources available to her to help, we just have to get through it. She is tough though and she LOVES the baby SOOO much already! My son Nick made the Legion (summer ball) team and so he is thrilled. He will be SO busy with that. His foot is much better and so he should be ready to play.
I wish I could figure out how to post pics on here. They make it very hard. I ever had my husband try to help, but we couldn't figure it out. Boo! Hiss! I would love to share more of my life with all of you via pictures.
You are all my family now and I love all of you. Have a happy and peaceful night.
XOXOXO
Laurie
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My public story that I posted on facebook.
Dearest friends,
I have thought long and hard about whether or not to go public with my new journey. I have come to the conclusion that I HAVE to. I need to share it so that maybe my story will help someone else. I am not looking for attention or pity, just the hope that all of you will share it with at least one person that it will make a difference for.
Normally, I would start a story from the beginning. However, today I am going to give you the middle of the story first. And it goes like this…
My name is Laurie Parr. I am 45 years old. I love God, the Redsox, Minnesota, baseball, chocolate, and tulips. I try to eat healthy, exercise and lead a good life. I am the typical baseball mom. I have a good marriage and I love my kids more than anything in life.
And I have Breast Cancer.
Now here is the beginning of the story…
About the age of 40 I changed my eating habits and became very healthy. I began a new life. I thought I was doing everything right. And I was. Except for one very important thing....
I skipped four years of mammograms.
WHY did I skip them? Because I exercised, ate healthy, breast cancer never existed in my family, I never felt a lump, I didn’t have time in my busy schedule, it could never happen to me, I know my body, etc. The list of clichés and excuses go on and on.
Fast forward to present day. The past weeks have been a whirlwind of fear, questions, tests, waiting, needles, scans, dyes, more waiting, praying, pathology reports, asking, researching, learning, phone calls, crying, medical terms, websites, hospital gowns, explaining, pretending, X-rays, and IVs.
It all started with a routine mammogram. I was given a new doctor this year who gave me an ultimatum. He said, “Go and get your mammogram or find a new doctor.” That doctor probably saved my life.
My cancer was caught early and I am very blessed for that. Early or not, I still have to go through all of the steps including surgery. I am blessed to say that I am only having a Lumpectomy and I am very grateful for that, but his journey has not only affected me, it has affected EVERY single person I love and who loves me. I was not prepared for the different journeys it would put each of those people on. It has been very hard for Doug and the kids especially.
Many people have said, “What can I do?” “I don’t know what to say.” “You’ll be fine.” “I know a whole bunch of women that have gone through it.” I can tell you that when it is happening to you, it is very personal and hard. There are no answers here. They don’t know what causes Breast Cancer. There is no cure, but there is hope. The hope comes from early detection. The hope comes from not keeping my cancer a secret and spreading the word. The best gift you could give to me is to get your mammograms or make the women in your life get them!!
Early detection is key…Get your mammograms or make the women in your life get their mammograms. SPREAD THE WORD and save a life!
So far I have given you the beginning and middle of my story. I will not give you the ending because I am still stuck in the middle of it. I can tell you however that I am strong and my faith in God is strong. I have complete faith that I will be okay. This journey is for a reason and I will honor God by going through it and trying to help someone else with my story. I promise to keep all of you posted. For now, thank you for your prayers, love and friendship.
XOXOXO
Laurie
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Thank you Teka. It's hard.
XOXOXO
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OMG Laurie that was beautifully written and u did get the word out--anyone who reads this wil certainly take heed, I hope--Geeze I was ready to go get a mammo--oops nothing there. LOL Seriously that took alot out of u and I'm glad u could do that.
Lori forget about everything else but the people u'r close to--be cordial of course u have to be--but just know that u have lots of friends there and rely on that. When r u going back to work? Make sure u'r ready. And we're here too.
Teka
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Thanks Jazzy, am doing ok, got extra fluids think that is the ticket.
skittle, they have professional development in our districts also, but lately have they made it worth the while....
Cam, birthday, wow what is the plan....
Laurie, what a great post....that was very brave....I am also on fb but you wouldn't know that I have cancer, don't talk about it other than posts like that race that was last sunday.....support is here.....don't beat yourself up....you have it taken care of now.....
as I have posted....I watched 3 hours of the The Big "C", loved it
and am reading the Oscar cat in the nursing home book....
have a good night!!!
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Oh, Laurie... Beautifully done. Wish I were so brave. You have made a huge difference in reaching out and motivating.
I'm one of those cowards who put it off and put it off. My daughters asked, reminded, cajoled and encouraged and I finally decided, ok, I feel fine (vegetarian, strong, good health all my life except for a major back surgery). But for a "present" for the two of them--and I did not tell a soul I was going, I gulped down my inhibitions (which are as strong as the prudish 1800's) and went. On my first mammogram ever, there it was. I knew as soon as I saw the image--looked like a fluffed-out cotton ball. And I knew, having watched my mother's bc saga, what the beginning would hold. (Even had her surgeon.) So... I credit my girls with saving my life... and you know one of the best parts? Meeting new people here. The women here are phenomenal. And i never knew.
Hoping all of us can have brave moments, laughter in the sun, and loved ones close by.
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Happy Birthday Camille!! I hope you are having a fun day!
Laurie, that was a nice letter, but like the others said, don't beat yourself up. Heck, I wasn't due to start mammos for 10 years, felt a lump, and still didn't tell a doctor for six months. I was seriously more concerned about my overdue PAP than that lump. It's tough being a woman.
Lori, there was a special on one of the news shows about horrible bosses last. They suggested detaching yourself from the person emotionally however you can. Go to work, earn the paycheck, and go home. Not sure if you've ever seen the movie Office Space, or Horrible Bosses, but they are funny for the crappy boss workers.
Skittle, I am looking forward to some quality time with my girls. They need it desperately! So does momma.
My mom is losing her hair and getting the typical SEs from this round. My heart just aches for her like I am the parent now. I just want her pain to go away!
Hugs to all, bgirl, jazzy, Lily, teka, chocolate, blondie, Jinkala, fl, whaevah...and everyone else!!0 -
Hi hermits- lots of great posts here today.
Laurie- that is a very brave and lovely letter you wrote to share with your community. Thank you for sharing it with us as well. I think it will help you to have more support you need going through this as well as help other women to take care of themselves.
Several here have posted to not beat yourself up about skipping the mammos, and I echo the same. My sister did hers every year and her cancer developed in between her yearly mammos, and she found hers via a lump. Other women here have commented they were diagnosed before they were to even begin having them. And you may also know the frequency of how often women need these has also continued to change. So there is just no foolproof way around any of this. The good news is you were diagnosed early. I am glad the waiting for the surgery is almost over. You sound very ready to get this done.
Teka- I agree with you about working with women and the drama. Lori, keep those difficult people and drama queens away from you. They don't deserve your time and energy. You need that to take care of you (and I do realize this is easier said then done as I deal with it every day with my project team).
Cami-hoping you had a super good birthday.
Skittle, Blondie, Markat, CV, Curveball, Lily, Jinkala and all the rest, hoping you are having a peaceful weekend.
P.S. I had a lovely massage last night and got my nails done today.
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Happy Birthday, Cami!:)
Hope you enjoyed! how did you celebrate?
love to all...
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Skittle you are so sweet and you are part of us...
yay Jazzy....glad you did something nice for yourself
Teka what Jazzy said....
Well as I said in my profile I am adopted....found my bio mother in the 80's, she didn't want to meet me so told her that I would "see" her when she died, in 1996 she did....I was 41, the twins were 1 1/2...found out she died of a recurrence of bc after 15 years....went and got checked and nothing, sigh of relief.....the following year for my birthday cause I thought I would remember to do it the same time every year...went and there it was....was 42 the twins were 2 1/2 and then, lumpectomy, chemo, rads....14 years later, after mamms every year, it decided to come back on my chest walll.....totally believe everything happens for a reason, along with people being brought into my life and lives of others for a reason.....bottom line....have "met" you guys for a reason....
Happy sunday, lol
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Hi Laurie,
I have been diligent about getting mammograms every year, with the exception of this last one (waited four months past one year mark). Through the years I have had many scares/biopsies and it got to the point where I was not afraid anymore when they need came to "check into into a suspicious lump". I had many fibroid, so it always turned out it was just another benign lump, until January of this year. Needless to say I was stunned. My Doctor told me I probably had the cancer for two years, and was told it simply was't detectable. I have a sister who has very strange theories that mammograms cause breast cancer because of the trama to the breasts and the radiation. She is normally an intelligent person but when it comes to this topic she is behaving ridiculous. She of course hasn't had a mammogram in years, she is a heavy smoker. I truly hope you don't beat yourself up for your decisions. I plan on posting your story on facebook, but will keep private details out. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, hope your surgery goes well. Take Care my friend.....Lori
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Back Again,
I want to thank everyone for words of support about my work situation. It really helps....I just wished I wasn't so sensitive about it all....my staff are so sweet, they keep counting the days of when I come back...I feel loved. I go back the 28th, soo it will be interesting to see how it goes.....I love being able to come here and read everyones story, and recieve unconditional support. I am getting a ragdoll kitten on the 28th, and am soo excited, and it feels good to have something to look forward to. Take Care and have a good Sunday...Lori
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Thank you ALL so very much for your comments and support. I truly appreciate it all of the love.
I am honored that you all would share your personal stories with me. This journey is so deep.Love to you all...have a blessed Sunday!
XOXOXO
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you also Laurie
Lori....hang in there....this disease sucks the life out of you!!
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A good description blondie...sad to say
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Ragdoll kitten!
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I have to totally agree, this disease "sucks the life out of you!" And, I'd add..."If you let it." I feel all my energy is sucked out of my body, but I feel emotionally supported too. We all have to use our strengths during this time of weakness and pray for the ability to get through each day.
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Hi Allyson====I think u'r right but sometimes are guard is down from sheer exhaustion and it get t us more and the SE are brutal sometimes. But for the most part this group does really well
The weekend wore me out---yes I celebrate some and I'm not ued to doing that anymore---so I know I'm going to be extremely lazy today I guess not that unusual. LOL
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Good morning hermits: Monday monday and getting ready for another busy work day/week. At least I have a three day weekend to look forward to at the end of this one.
Cami- you sounded like you partied on down this weekend girlfriend! I am glad you had fun, and if there must be exhaustion, let it be from something fun vs. the normal we all deal with here.
Blessings to all the hermits with everything in front of you this week. I hope those in the south and midwest are safe from all the tornadoes.
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All the rotten weather didn't come this way, but I really feel bad for all the other people.
Markat I think of u often.
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