The Hermit Club

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  • Skittle
    Skittle Member Posts: 395

    Memorial Day upon us.  Wishing each of you safety and security.  I always think of Arlington and a visit long ago to Chateau Thierry and Belleau Wood...  So many sacrifices, so many lives.

    Have been under a rock with migraines.  Hard to even look at a computer screen, much less make sense of what's on it.

    FL--enjoy that rear view mirror.  Nicely said.  I wish you happy trails ahead!

    Laurie--let your family pamper you!  You've laid the groundwork.  Put your energies into what is best for you.  Hugs...

    Camille--countdown going for days with Joey!  What a joy.  (My students only have three days left!  They have shut down all learning, and are there for the social drama.)

    Jazzy--back feeling better?  Perhaps the yoga will ease it out.  You sound so busy.

    teka and curve--dd2 has a degree in genetics.  The things she could tell you about chemistry and health and our surroundings/environment ... eeg.  No one would eat half of what they do, without even thinking.

    blondie--wish dh could take a look at your car.  He's a wizard at getting things running again.  Some places will run computer diagnostics for free to narrow down the trouble spot... and then ice cream would be a quick trip away. 

    June 3 will find me on a beach, at last!  (Going to the gulf to wiggle toes in the sand.)

    Healthy wishes to all.  Hugs to those who face struggles. 

  • markat
    markat Member Posts: 502

    Hello to all. Thank you all for your well wishes and thoughts! My beautiful,strong, kind and giving mother passed away this morning around 430. I spent the night with her in her room and she had already transitioned into a peaceful sleep. I held her hand a sat in the chair next to her bed all night. Around that time I got up to go to the restroom and when I came back she had passed. I felt horribly guilty but maybe she wanted it that way. Ugh. I'm still pretty numb and exhausted. My sweet little girls are handling it okay. As good as can be expected.



    I'll probably be taking a little break from posting but I want you all to know you are in my thoughts and heart everyday! Thank you all for being my support and hopefully I helped you in some way :) love and hugs to all!!!

  • curveball
    curveball Member Posts: 1,583

    ((markat)) I'm sorry to hear of your mom's death.

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    MARKATm--my pryers and sorrows are with u and u'r family---this seemed to happen so quickly, but I really think she waited for u to step out od the room (I believe those things) so don't feel bad, she knew u were and have been there for her all this time, she is at peace in heaven but I know how u will miss her. The next few day will be difficult and please rest with u'r DH and kids when it is over and heal with all of them. And remember the good things with u'r mom cuz she would want u too. I held my mom's hand too and it was my honor to be with her and I do think of that and we always talk about my crazy mom and all the fun she gave us and missing is just part of our lives. I'm truly saddened it was to early. (((HUGS)))) my dear, u are a very special young woman and u'r mom did a great job.

  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 1,748

    Oh Markat - so sorry to hear but please don´t feel guilty, it is very common that people die as soon as their loved one lets go of their hand or just  moves away briefly, its almost like they need that space to pass, (and that is what Elizabeth Kubler Ross who has researched death in great detail found in all her studies).

    Losing your mum is such a physical wrench, (even for people who did not get on with their mothers), its a huge shock to the system so you need to be kind to yourself.....and your Mum would want you to give yourself the same care and compassion you gave to her.

    Sending you a hug and my thoughts.......I remember well how I felt when my Mum died and I was a lot older than you

  • Skittle
    Skittle Member Posts: 395

    Markat... Hugs, and love, and peace to you and your family.  Take all the time you need, and try not to judge yourself.  (When my mother died, I beat myself up with guilt and should-have-dones.  It was not productive, and I can look back on it and see it as grief.) Prayers for your heart to heal and spirit to rebound.   Again, hugs to you and yours.

  • lizlori
    lizlori Member Posts: 146

    Hi Everyone,

    Happy Holiday,

    The weather here is cold and rainy....and today we are going to a Brewer game and grilling out before hand. Later today we will be picking up our new kitten today which is exciting.  I miss having a pet, and this type of breed is suppose to be unusual in that they are super affectionate and behave more like a dog than a cat.    Tomorrow I go back to work..I am nervous about it, as my boss and I no longer like each other and she was hoping I would quit.  Don't know why anyone would think I would quit my job in the middle of chemo and needing another surgery.  So my staff and the residents are very loving and eager for me to come back, and that is what I have to focus on.....and not be sensitive to the cold shoulder I will get.     I went to the Hillbilly wedding and had some beers, ...it felt good but I too felt guilty about it. So I will just keep it to a minimum.  Overall I survived being around people, I am a true blue hermit....laurie I will thinking about you tomorrow..Hugs hugs and more hugs

  • cvmarilyn
    cvmarilyn Member Posts: 77

    Oh Mrkt - so, so sorry to hear of your Mom's passing.  Mother/daughter relationships are so intense. My mom is 92 has advanced dementia - and so doesn't even know about my bc.  It was so weird not to tell her - but she is not really her in so many ways. Anyway - I guess we all have to take good care of our daughters - whether we birthed them or not. And whether they are 2 or 4 legged : )   Speaking of daughters - mine became a registered nurse in January and just got her first job!!!!! I am soooooooo proud of  her.  And the best part is her job is only an hour away - I am so relieved.  I didn't want her to move far away.  She is one of my best friends.  I love her so much....

    Happy Memorial Day!

  • LaurieParr
    LaurieParr Member Posts: 214

    Markat-my prayers and heart are with you. I know what losing a parent is like. It changes a person. There are no words, so just know that you are in my thoughts, prayers and heart. Do whatever it is that comforts you. As my dad always used to say, "May peace be with you."   XOXOXOX

    Skittle-I am so sorry to hear of your migranes. It pains me to know someone as kind and sweet as you is suffering. I pray that they go away. Your beach time is fast approaching! Enjoy it as you deserve it!  Where are you going?  :)

    Lori-God bless you on going back to work. I can't imagine the anxiety given the situation. I will be praying about that for you.  Have fun at the Brewers game! Baseball is one of my true loves and I am so excited for you! 

    We saw  "Fast and the Furious" yesterday. It was good! Also rented  "Guilt Trip" with Barbara Streisand. It was cute and funny.  I also heard that "Safe Haven" was a good rental.

    Jazzy, Camille, Teka and the rest....have a blessed holiday! I will update all of you after tomorrow as soon as I am up to it.  I'm know all will be fine. I truly feel that my BC was caused by my HRTs and this Lumpectomy will end all of the BC. I don't feel as if I have reason to worry about anything.  :)   Just wanted to assure all of you that I have a positive frame of mind. 

    Love you all......

    XOXOXOXOXO

    Laurie

  • blondiex46
    blondiex46 Member Posts: 2,726

    Skittle I was wondering where you were.....feel better....thanks skittle but it won't start it is the battery, will be one this weekend when I get my check...hate being on a fixed income.....ice cream works for everything, lol..which beach will you be going too?

    Lori....wth is it with bosses, they better watch the karma, so glady you are going back to work, that is my salvation unfortunately I can't work xept on my week off....and there are no hours so not happening....a hillbilly wedding, I would love that....no guilt....or try not to have any....

    Mark so sorry about your mother, my thoughts and prayers go with you and your family....am here if you need anything, even if it is just an ear....I heard they pick who they want with them when they pass....maybe she thought it would be easier on you when you were gone, my mother did the same thing...I walked out of the hospital room to say good bye to a friend who was visiting her and when I went back she was gone....

    Have a wonderful memorial day hermits...bbl

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,974

    Markat- I am so sorry about your mother's passing. I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers and meditations for days to come. We are here when you want to talk.

    May you find some moments of peace and comfort during this difficult time. God bless.

  • curveball
    curveball Member Posts: 1,583

    @Lori1020, what breed of kitten are you getting? I have a cat and when I move to my new place will be taking my mom's cat there too. This should be interesting since my cat is a Persian and Luthien is (we think) a Balinese mix. They are of very different temperaments, plus Luthie has been an only cat for all her 17 years! I've been staying with my mom during treatment, but it seemed safer not to let the two cats meet each other. I'm sure Luthie views my cat as an interloper and invader! I'm not quite sure how I will get the two of them to co-exist in my house, which is quite a bit smaller than this one.

  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 1,748

    I bet its a burmese kitten, they are just fantastic cats......

  • blondiex46
    blondiex46 Member Posts: 2,726

    curve where have you been?

    how i everyone?

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,974

    Hi hermits- I wish this long weekend could go on forever! It has been good on all fronts. Today I went for a facial which felt good and restoring. Now I will take a nap before I wrap up this 3 days of time off.

    My lower back is better today, but I woke up with really sore feet! I realize I am having some new experiences this week like pain from my ear down into my shoulder, the lower back pain, and today the sore feet. I think now 2 months into the anastrozole, I may be experiencing more of the SEs from this drug. Several on another drug say the SEs don't always show up right away. I had some initial bone aches and have had the symptomatic stiffness that goes with this med. But think I may have some new SEs going on. 

    I have a big deadline this week on my project (bringing up a hospital on all kinds of new software) so I may not be here as much but promise to pop in at least once a week to say hi to my favorite hermits and see how all of you are doing.

    Blessings to all of you in the coming week and into the month of June.

  • curveball
    curveball Member Posts: 1,583

    @blondiex46, I've been around, I just haven't posted much lately on this thread. I'm still as much of a hermit as ever, though! Mostly I've been hanging around in the stage IV forum, but I read this thread pretty much every day and often more frequently than that.

    I've been out shopping this afternoon but saw the revised bid from the contractor in my email just now--I hope the remodel can start real soon so I can start living at my house in the next month or so.

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    Lori--good luck with work tomorrow let us know and remember they are all on u'r side just be polite and talk to u'r boss when u have to. U'l be fine.

    Laurie again let us know when u'r day is done, if u can we're all here.

    Skittle migraines are so horrible, I have 2 friends that have them and rhey really hermit themselves so I can't imagine what u go thru. I remember when I was about 10 and I told my mom I had a headache and she said u'r to young to have a headache and I never had another one til I was in my 40's but certainly not migraines--I'm sorry that u have to put up with them.

    Jazzy I thibk these side effects start slowly and it's like oh I can take this and as time goes by more things start to happen (I think) it just goes on and on to alot of us. That's sme of the reason I'm still a hermit, I know my age doesn't help but neither do 15 different kinds of meds a day either.LOL

    alking about cats I have a Russian blue she's wonderful with me very affectionate and always follows me around. I didn't know there were breeds of cats that are mor affectionate than others--I thought they were all alike actually, Cuz she does have her moods of she's the boss--and we got a dog--Bordercollie/Lab and he's is wonderful and smart and is totally nice to my cat, but she ignores him pretty much cuz she was here first. and when he tries to kiss her she slaps him, and I don't like that what a goof--he's trying to be friendly.

  • blondiex46
    blondiex46 Member Posts: 2,726

    Jazzy, take care of yourself....

    curve....oh good glad you are around even tho in hiding

    CAM [[[[[[[[[[[[HUGS]]]]]]]]]]

  • Skittle
    Skittle Member Posts: 395

    Camille... funny you should bring up a childhood story of headaches.  I never had one as a child, so was highly suspicious that it was just an adult excuse to say no.  Mine started about six years ago when our school was in denial about black mold in the carpeting.  My co-teacher had nosebleeds and I had migraines.  (They are now far fewer since they pulled the carpeting out, but when they hit, I really really hermit and just pray for them to pass.)

    Laurie... you know angels will surround you and lift you and guide your doctors.  All of us love you and will await word of your healing.

    curve... best wishes moving to your new home.  I'm sure the cats will reach an agreement.  I worried that our only would reject the newbie, but they're now best of friends.  And dd2 brings her young kittie over to visit, and they have learned to accept each other, (although are not always thrilled with his chase games.)

    Jazzy...  good luck with your deadline.  At school, all report cards/grades/permanent records are due Wednesday--and the entire school network is down except for a couple of computers in the library.  (We can't quite just leave our kids and head down there for data entry, so I don't know what they expect us to do.)

    Lori... how's kitty?  Name?  Purring?  Kittens are so much fun.  Hope tomorrow goes well at work.  

    blondie... Hope the battery doesn't set you back too far.  Funny how much we rely on cars.  dd2's best friend lives in NYC and doesn't even own a car any more.  (and we're nine miles from town... a small one at that.)

    Beach--dh has time commitments, so we have to be quick.  The closest is Biloxi, Gulfport area... so we'll go there.  There's an island you can reach by boat excursions, so we plan a day there.  Last summer our Florida plans were squashed by Hurricane Debbie.

    Hugs to all.  

    Teka...Cool     Markat...  Love, always. 

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    Oh Skittle that how they started??? OMG and u've suffered all this time cuz of all that. That' terrible.

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,974

    Hi hermits- just a quick hi and link to share with you. A yoga friend posted this on FB about breasts and breast health, and found it to be interesting.

    http://karamariaananda.com/blog/2013/5/27/viva-la-boobies

    Have a peaceful day one and all!

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    Jazy TY for any info. u have left me breastless. Have a good day.

  • LaurieParr
    LaurieParr Member Posts: 214

    Hi my dear friends,

    I had my surgery and all is well.  The wire loc wasn't bad at all. They couldn't get to it with mammo, so they did it by ultrasound instead which was much better for me as I could lie on my side and not be pinched in the machine.  The radiated dye wasn't too bad either. The radiologist was SO sweet. He came in, held my hand and apologized in advance for how much it was going to hurt. He assured me that he would do it as fast as he possibly could. 

    The surgery went well. The incision ended up being much larger than they anticipated having to do (it is the entire side of my breast), but I don't care. If it means clear margins then so be it.  I did get a gift of finding out that my node was clean though!  I didn't expect to get that news right away and so that is a huge relief and blessing.

    I also wanted to share this......when I was in recovery, my doctor came to comfort me and tell me about the node. (Bless his heart he just lost his wife two weeks ago and he was so sad.)  He came over the side of the bed, took my hand and petted my head.  He leaned in and whispered, "I want you to know that all went well.  I also wanted to tell you that I have never seen so many angels during a surgery than with yours. I could see them and feel them. You are a blessed girl."   I was stunned.  For a man of science to reveal that to me was one of the greatest gifts I could ever receive.  I knew you all would love to hear that.

    I am just resting today. It is sore, but the meds are helping, as are the ice packs that my husband got for me.  I can tell that I am going to struggle not overusing my arm as I am right handed and the cancer was on that side. I have a wonderful massage therapist (trained in cancer patients and nodes) who is standing by to help me when I am more recovered.  I have my follow up on 6/7 (my 17th wedding anniversary). I'll take that as a sign that it will be good news. Innocent

    Love to you all....thank you all for your support these past two months.  I am so lucky to have all of you. I hope all of the migranes, chemo side effects, pain, and sadness disappear for all of you. I am always hear if you need to vent. I love all of you.

    Blessings and light,

    XOXOXOXO

    Laurie

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    Laurie I am not surprised at all about the angels, but that the Dr. said it , it was beautiful. All is well in breastland for u---nonnodes wonderful news. Are u getting any type of treatment or will tht be decided when u go? Whatever it is u must be blessed cus the feeling was in the whole room. U rest and be taken care of now, it's u'r turn to relax.

  • blondiex46
    blondiex46 Member Posts: 2,726

    Laurie thanks so much for letting us know....we are here whenever you feeling like plugging in....love that dr...how cool is that....rest.....

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,974

    Laurie- good news and glad your doctor was so good with you. I like my breast surgeon, she did a good job with my surgery, but she was not anywhere near as kind as that man was to you through your process. I am sure he is very sad right now, but he is still working and helping other women to be well, so he is a saint in my book anyways.

    Good news on the pathology. Rest well and let us know how you are doing.

    Hi to all other hermits. Work is crazy, but I am hanging in there.....

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    Jazzy u work so hard and take it so well--good for u.

    Laurie how are u doing today?

  • LaurieParr
    LaurieParr Member Posts: 214

    Hello ladies!

    Camille. Blondie, Jazzy, Teka and the rest...thank you! My treatment will be determined by final pathology. Can't wait to see the results. I can get them online before my 6/7 follow up. I check every day! LOL!  I'm guessing I will have clean margins and a low Oncotype score. My guess is that I will get a bit of radiation and then be put on Arimidex.  We shall see.  I am feeling pretty good. The site is of course sore, but ice packs help. I find that I can't take the pain meds every 4 hours because it gives me too much of a sense of non-pain and I try to do to much. I have been letting myself feel the pain (it's not excruciating), so I will just rest more.  The incision ended up being the entire side of my breast, so it is hard to raise my arm or carry things in my right hand. I would love to have my hair washed today. If I feel as if I can't do it, I will ask my husband or my daughter. My head itches. Part of it is from the Lortabs.  My daughter is coming by to watch Steel Magnolias with me. She has never seen it! Wow. I can't believe it. Now is the perfect time. 

    Yesterday one of our baseball families brought us over an entire dinner. THAT was the best gift! There is enough that I can share it when my daughter and son in law come over today. I am certainly going to remember that gift of help and pay it forward in the future. What a help!

    Well, that is all for now. I have been up for a couple of hours and so I feel as if I need to lie down again. LOL...lazy! Love to all of you....blessings to all of you.....praying that you all have a peaceful and painfree day. I will get my email notifications from the site, so blog on hermits!

    XOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXO

    Laurie

  • blondiex46
    blondiex46 Member Posts: 2,726

    Laurie thanks for checking in and glad the pain isn't too bad....you have what appears to be a wonderful support system....enjoy the time with DD...

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    Laurie have u'r DD wash u'r hair--it will feel better and like Teka said it does hekp with healing, but just know there are hings that u can no do with that arm. And that was a wonderful gift of dinner u got. Noce people to a nice family.