Pinktober Revolution
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I think I am having an epiphany about Pinktober.
Like the comments (including mine) about the two women - and a guy - wearing ridiculous costumes.... we are offended when people make stupid, insensitive, rude, sexual, joking, or "hilarious" comments about breast cancer.
I thought I might feel differently if the women in question were BC survivors themselves... and had walked through the fire to come out better on the other side. Perhaps this WAS their way of celebrating. Who am I to judge?
Do we give a pass to BC survivors who choose to use insensitive (to us) ways of celebrating?
If a woman with Stage IV BC decides to wear a pink wig and a pink tutu to run a race, is that different than, say, a group of hospital employees who do the same?
If a woman who has just completed a thousand rounds of chemo, rads, and everything the medical profession can throw at her, decides to call her reconstructed breasts "TaTas" is that different than, say, a radio station DJ doing the same?
Who gets to use this kind of language?
Who gets to dress like a clown to "celebrate" breast cancer awareness?
Has it become an "US" vs "THEM" situation?
Or has it somehow become like the use of terminology that might be o.k. to use within one racial/cultural group, but if you are not part of the group, it's considered offensive?
Just woke up and I have no idea where these philosophical thoughts came from.
Ideas, anyone?
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I think those are very good questions, Blessings, and well worth exploring. However, since we have no way of knowing whether it's a 'survivor' or otherwise, I wonder how do to we approach the issue?
I will say that I've never in my life liked using terms such as 'ta tas,' etc., so many of those slogans make me uncomfortable anyways. And flamboyance is not my style, whether in dealing with bc or anything else.
I guess I still feel that all the clown-like, pink, outre costuming, cupcakes, ponies, etc., only serves to obscure the reality that bc is a widespread, miserable, deadly disease with no known cure and the ability to recur many years after treatment.
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Good questions, Blessings. I know I won't be in a pink tutu saying, "Save the tatas," and maybe I can't really fault a survivor for doing so. I've been looking around this month and there seems to be very little pink stuff this year. I almost feel like my rants on facebook about pinktober and pinkwashing weren't really necessary, but it was my goal to educate about that and breast cancer. The pink tata stuff, like the cupcakes, are from facebook breast cancer groups.
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Blessings...very good questions!!That is why I said in my post..maybe if they had gone thru BC they had a different sense of humor than mine. I'm not one to be easily offended, but that stuff I do find offensive. But, how do we really know if someone has had BC or not by just looking at them. Maybe the approach of dressing up and making light of BC helps them regain some power in their lives. I *get* that, but again for me I don't know that I will ever be there.
hmm...these are interesting questions. I need to think about it.
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it's not just the goofy costumes and sayings that annoy me. It's the whole pink washing thing. Where does the $$ go? Is a pink screwdriver really going to find the cure? We are aware. Find the cure. Change the focus
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What does save the tatas mean? That someone is unable to say breasts? And I see no connection between having BC and saving breasts. Almost by definition, a BC patient is going to lose some or all of the affected breast(s). What we need is money for research into the cure and the cause. Awareness was a good goal back when no one ever spoke of it, but I doubt there's a woman alive in the US who is unaware.
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Brava, Wren.
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I thought about the recent YouTube video of the woman who danced her way into surgery for her mastectomy. I certainly didn't feel like dancing to surgery, but it obviously made her feel better. I guess we all cope in our own way. Like race, politics, religion, etc., there are differing points of view. I wouldn't expect someone of another race to represent the viewpoints of the entire race, so I guess we shouldn't expect all BC patients/survivors to feel the same. But I still don't like it and will continue to tactfully educate people on how the whole pink thing affects many of us.
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Mini I agree that if it made her feel better, go for it, but sometimes for me, that super inspirational rah rah stuff just makes me feel rotten, like I was some lazy ass and occasionally cranky patient who wasn't doing things "right".
I have been trying to "educate" the nail polish companies who are doing the pinkwashing thing. I am not getting into the ingredients and what they may or may not do because i'm not about tell anyone what to put on their nails (I personally love a good mani/pedi), but I do let people know that BC patients often either lose their nails or have them become pretty damaged as a result of chemo. I lost all my nails to Taxotere. I ask them to focus on nail health for patients and maybe help people out with products as they go through treatment. Radio silence.
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It's just that all the silliness and pink tell the public that bc is easy and you get back to your life after treatment - sorry but it's not true and it physically hurts for a very long time - bone loss, discs disintegrating, insomnia, hot flashes - just to name a few of the problems we face and oh yeah, death - nothing pretty or pink or funny about that is there?
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I think that's the crux of the matter, 208sandy - it really does minimize breast cancer's seriousness. I'd rather see a skull and crossbones than the pink (if anything). As it is, I think the constant harping on racing for the cure, etc., sends a subliminal message that it IS curable - and we all know it's not. Nor does detection = prevention. It doesn't even = lives saved, necessarily.
I'd rather see a day devoted to writing letters to Congress to fund both ongoing research and innovative approaches to ALL types of cancer than a month of brainless pinkwashing.
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All excellent points, ladies... please keep 'em coming!
FWIW, I still think Pinktober still blows.
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thepinkbird- It is all about them it appears. Some people crave media attention so much that they know little about the subject. I think showing a few of these young people what real women look like post radical mastectomy might be a good lesson - wish I had the nerve to go to one of these events w/ a huge reality postcard.
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I really don't have a problem with people approaching the subject of breast cancer with outlandish humor or comedy. Humor can be a powerful weapon, and it's a tool many use to relieve stress. Like my mother used to say, might as well laugh as cry.
The appropriation of women's bodies for use as a marketing ploy is what makes my blood boil. I will give Komen a lot of credit for doing a lot of good in the past, but nowadays they might as well be an advertising agency. A lot of companies are using that pink ribbon to sell something, and so is Komen. Too many people are lining their pockets from the suffering of women, but I guess there's nothing new about that.
Like someone said earlier, a change in focus is what's called for here.
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so I have this dilemma. My breast care center has in the past worked with Komen to present some topic of interest in regards to breast cancer in October. Not doing anything this year (will have a special dinner to honor those who have gone thru BC treatment in the spring instead, not affiliated with Komen). The sister hospital has had a great support group and I've attended a couple events. Just got notified they are having a presentation next week titled "The Latest and Greatest Treatments in Breast Cancer" as part of Komen Breast Health Education Series. Got to hear the presenter last year, she's an oncoplastic breast surgeon and is so very interesting. Am I a traitor to the cause if I attend?
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2nd, You're not a traitor. Someone might as well benefit from their 'awareness' dollars. Sounds like an interesting speaker.
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With so much pink-washing I think it is now having the opposite affect. Like car alarms, people hear them, but pay no attention because it's always going off for no reason. I know so many people that think that you get it, you have your treatments, and viola` you're cured. People will even tell you that you are getting a "free boob job," and depending on the type of reconstruction, a "free tummy tuck," like you're supposed to happy about this.
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2nd-you are NOT a traitor. I still wish I had gone to the Komen walk I was invited to by my BS's office.Mini-I agree with you and unfortunately when I was first dx'd I was under the same impression about the boob job thing. I though that recon was not that big of a deal and wow I'd get a new pair! One of my friends at the time encouraged that thinking. Turns out that my recon went terribley bad and I am still a year out sitting here with extra flabs of skin on my chest that somewhat look like breats but not really.
I also ran into some women who went to the Komen walk over the weekend. I was amazed at just how little they seemed to really understand about BC.
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Blessings, you farted 
but what a great fart0 -
Part of the exchange between two people on FB after a friend of mine from highschool received good news today after call back, repeat mammogram, and ultrasound:
One friend (who almost always gets callbacks and whose mother had breast cancer) wrote:
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"It's always scary and always a relief to find there's nothing to worry about. Breast cancer is very treatable now, especially when found early, but losing a breast or both breasts, even to save your life, can be devastating as a woman. I'm glad you got a good report ____."
My friend who just got the good report replied:
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"Not that I'd want to go through it, of course, but a friend of mine once told me the reconstructions are amazing!"
There is still so much educating to do on so many fronts. These gals (along with many others) walked alongside me (albeit on facebook) through my diagnosis (November '11), etc. as it was just a short time after our 30th HS reunion (September '11). We all turned 50 last year, so big 50th physicals, colonoscopies, etc. for all of us this past year.
Also ... I know that it helps some - otherwise I wonder why they would wear them - but I think shirts like "Sure they're fake. My real ones tried to kill me." don't really help the perceptions at all.
Beyond that ... for me (with a unilateral skin and nipple sparing DIEP reconstruction), I don't consider myself to have 'fake' breasts. Oh my DIEP breast is definitely filled with fat tissue and is non-working, but it's not 'fake'. And as for 'my real ones tried to kill me' ... well that's just wrong on so many levels. Please, please tell me one other disease where we blame the part of the body for the disease! My breasts did not try to kill me. Cancer tried and may still be trying to kill me. I would never tell someone his/her colon, or kidney, or skin, or brain, or what have you ... tried to kill them. And I've never heard anyone with any of those cancers suggest that was their interpretation.
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Here's how I see it...
A woman who has lived through a BC diagnosis has the right to express her fear, rage, joy, sadness, denial, dread, etc. any way she chooses whether I agree with it or not...whether I am offended or not.
The people closest to her who have also spent countless nights gripped with fear have also earned a Get Out of Jail Free card.
And for all those whose lives have not been impacted, I have no problem expressing my position when they are offensive, ignorant and inappropriate. A friend got me the stinkin' boobs tried to kill me shirt. She thought it was great. Hysterical even. But she also cried with me many times and spent every day of my chemo with me changing my cold caps to prevent my hair loss. And so I thanked her for the shirt that I later donated to charity.
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Sassy - I'm not sure what you mean, but I'm SO glad you're pleased!!! xoxoxo
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dltnhm - I SO agree! My breasts did not try to kill me. I was the one in eight women diagnosed with breast cancer. AND... even though my breasts are now made up of silicone and saline, they are not fake. They are my breasts. Not the ones that I was born with, but the ones that the surgeons were able to give back to me.
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Wise words, Warrior_Woman....
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thank you for the kind words of support. I really want to go the presentation as this doctor is truly amazing. Started her career as an artist (medical illustrator) and was fascinated and directed to her current calling. So very passionate about what she does. So much so, when DD wanted to become an oncologist, I spoke with this lovely lady about mentoring her. DD has changed her focus, now wants to be a nurse instead.
I appreciate how others view this Pinkwashing stuff. I know there are a lot of woman who haven't gone thru BC and think they are supporting us, their intentions are good, trying to educate with kindness.
Also, this breast care center is sponsoring a retreat day this Saturday for those who are going thru/have gone thru BC. There will be sharing, mentoring, fun, basically a support group intensive. Not sponsored by Komen. Last year's was interesting and fun, looking forward to this year (except for the pink stuff).
Not much longer till Pinktober is over!
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I refer to my surgical side as frankenboob but I came up with it on my own after the first time I saw all those staples. Had someone else given me a t-shirt with "frankenboobs" on it I'm sure it wouldn't have rolled off me.
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Chemicalword-I've called mine frankenboobs too....now I realize that could be offensive to someone here and I that is really not my intention. I'm in limbo on recon so right now my chest looks bizarre imo.2nd-that sounds awesome that your breast center does all that! I wish mine did things like that! That sort of support is sorely lacking around here and it would be great to have that.
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Shoot, I'm letting Komen buy me (and a few hundred other BC survivors) lunch at a fancy banquet place next month. I figure it's the LEAST they can do!!!!
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Enjoy it!!!0 -
My "fake boob" is radically awful. 2006 saline and now has wrinkles in it plus my real side is about three sizes larger. Still I got hair now so I am bkssed.
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LOVE this, Frostecat.
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