No treatments for me.
Comments
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Cindy, I wish we could all be there with you, just hanging out. You've left an indelible mark on all our lives. Love you sweetie and hope you had a peaceful night.
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Hello Loving Ladies,
I apologize for the worried days you've had recently regarding Cindy and I. I had to take a reality check & get some clarity on what life is and isn't and how to allow this experience to be one of learning and love. I'm in such a different place now and I like it so much more!
As Linda kindly checked on Cindy & Rick, you know Cindy's trying to kick another cold and her lungs are just making it more difficult. On a nice note, Cin has been reading here :-) She's happy to hear your voices and see your visions of picnics and flower gardens. How great is that? You're stuck in bed, but you see picnics and gardens -happiness. A vision of things to come. Previews! LOL
Well, I'm gonna call and see if Cin's up to talking ~hope you all have wonderful days!
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Dearest Cindy
Im so upset that you are still suffering so much. Let me add my voice to all the others and say I'm thinking of you and praying for you to be pain free and up and writing here asap. You are so missed!!!!!!
Lorna
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{{{{Elaine}}}} Never apologize, we love you and welcome back! We all have to take these journeys from time to time. Reminds me of the great Train song, Drops of Jupiter about a "soul vacation" - sounds like you are in a good place right now!!
And hi to Cin!! Glad you're reading our posts!! Lots of love to you, special lady.0 -
Thank you, Carpe -for every single word! I had heard Drops of Jupiter before, but I read the lyrics and it means so very much more now & it's a fantastic song that made me feel wonderful and truly understood.
ttfn
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So glad that Cindy can read and enjoy us. Elaine - poor dear - you must be so drained by this. You are a wonderful sister. I have two of them and neither would be have as caring and dedicated as you.
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I don't have a sister and always wanted one...so thank you, ladies, for being surrogates!
Good morning, Cin! Hope you are kicking that nasty virus to the curb so you can get more comfortable! Hope Rick feels better, too.Just a quick note to say that I'm thinking about you!!! xxxxx
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Hello Ladies,
Linda, Rick said they got your card & thank you very much!
I was thinking about heading out to visit Cin & Rick -and was about to check bus/train ticket prices -I already know the airline prices. What to my wondering ears should I hear? A phone call from Rick -he was calling to let me know Cindy's back in the Hospice Hospital until she can kick this cold. So, our beloved Cindy is taking another mini-vaca (as she says!).
I'll update WordPress after I've talked with Cin.
By the way, I'd be honored to count you all amongst my sisters! More love & hugs to go around.
Lots of love
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Cindy & Elaine, thinking of you both tonight, glad you are both reading. I don't have much to add - just sending tons of virtual hugs, lots of non-virtual love and prayers.
I have 3 "blood" sisters and a gazillion other sisters, many of them here on this thread, many others on BCO, and many in the dozen places I have lived during my life. They are everywhere, and I am grateful for every single one of them. Some do come through at different times under different circumstances. My one sister and I laugh that you have to "know which sister to ask" about certain things when you want a certain answer! I love having so many women in this world with whom I can share so much. Of course, when I was younger, I used to try to "sell" my next younger sister... LOL!0 -
Sending love and hugs to Cindy, I know she will be treated like a god and get the best care where she's going.
So sorry Cindy, I have lost your address since last Christmas. Can anyone send me a PM with Cindy's address.
Hope everyone is keeping their spirit's up, I know it's hard with all the terrible things happening in the world.
Where I live everyone was so busy they never really stopped to chat to me. Now since people know I have Cancer they all go out of their way and ask how I am. I think it's because the woman are my age and think how lucky they are not to have Cancer. Even the stuck up Bitch who gave me daggers every morning.
My sister and I were never close but since Cancer she has tried to keep in touch but not heard from her in months. She has her problems like everyone else.
My youngest daughter is 14 yrs old she is going to get some help to deal with her feeling's about me having Cancer. This is a good thing as she took the news very badly.
Love & hugs to all.0 -
I have found Cindy's address - only been looking for it one week.
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Elaine, thanks for the update on Cin. I am sorry she had to leave home again but this hospice sounds like a good situation for her?! I know that Rick needs to get healthy as well, so maybe this is a good solution all around! Please let us know when she is home.
Thanks for being here ladies. You are all amazing. xoxo0 -
So sorry to hear that Cin had to return to hospice. I so very much hope that they can help her get pain-free and that the cold subsides quickly. Love and hugs to both of you.
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Good morning to all. Sorry to hear Cindy is back in hospice, but gald to know she is getting good care. I swear I may move to AZ just to have an option for this particular hospice, she is quite a good marketer for them. Maybe she should charge a "finder's fee" ....
It sounds like lots of folks are getting very very very bad respiratory infections, the prediction is for a very bad flu year, which started early. I am trying to stay out of crowds, would like to avoid church but can't right now, but will be packing my hand sanitizer. I would encourage all of you to really practice good germ avoidance techniques as best you can this season. Stay well!
Virtual hugs to all of you - keeping my germs to myself!!!0 -
Hello Ladies,
I've talked with Cindy today & she's still in tremendous pain -yesterday they upped her pain meds to 14mg an hour now with 4mg each time she pushes her button (each half hour). Today they upped them even further.
She says the pleural effusions in (or is it on?) her lungs are acting really badly. She explained it to me saying that there are sacs around each of her lungs, and in between them is an area of fibers that act like hands and they're clawing and scratching each other with each breath. She's coughing almost constantly because of that irritation, which causes further irritation and swelling, etc .... The cough isn't in her throat, it's more in her chest where the lungs and bronchial tubes attach.
She also said that she doesn't have a cold. It's the lung disease, Usual Interstitial Pneumonia (UIP) and the pleural effusions causing the problems. I asked what the antibiotics and cough medicine were for & she said "just in case" it was a cold. LOL
Outside the physical aspects of this journey, we've been talking about what happens after we die. I finally watched the movie "The 5 People You Meet In Heaven" (she read the book -Rick had given it to her) so we talked about that & it was nice to have something besides "just the facts, ma'am" to talk about.
I have been thinking about going out and spend some time with her while she's still able to cope with visitors. I've been starting my own massage business, so financially it's super tight for me and I didn't want to financially burden Rick/Cindy when I got out there. So, it's just been a really big wish of mine. Well, someone -that I will not name- from BCO has offered a couple hundred dollars to help fly me out to be with Cindy. If anyone else would be willing to contribute towards my trip it would help a lot. I'm brainstorming for a way to come up with more money -if you have ideas please, please share!
I'm reading a book & asked if I could read some of it to Cindy & she said she "loves people to read to her!" I did & she was happy. I told her that even when things get to where she can't talk, I will still call and read to her. I'll stop reading every once in a while & she can just press one of the phone buttons so I know to go on reading. She gently chuckled and said I was becoming more and more like her! What a compliment!
Lots of Love
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Elaine, I thought it was bad on Cindy's lungs as my father in law has clots on his lungs and I'm helping to nurse him. The doctor told me last week that he won't last long but the family think otherwise. My poor Cindy, I always told her this is my worst fear of not being able to breath if I get stage 4.
I've always been here to help and you only have to ask if you need me to put towards the pot. Last time I sent money it took so long to get there so any idea's.
Elaine, send me a PM with your address on.0 -
I am so sorry Cindy is in so much pain. I hope they can find some drug combination that makes her more comfortable. Hugs to you both.
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Cindy hope you can get there, she would love it...I have plurel effusion...it is not pretty!!
Sandy
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Gracie -thank you, I hope for that, too.
Sandy, -I'm reallly going to do my best to get there! I'm sorry you have PE, too -how do you treat it? is there anything that helps you?
Lots of Love to all
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Thanks and nope, nothing had 800cc's drained in September...they say it isn't coming back, we will see....
Sandy
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Hi Elaine! Can they drain Cindy's effusions, I wonder? So sorry she is uncomfortable! I don't know if the breathing thing I sent helped or not, I hope so. Now that she's back at hospice I'm sure they have the fancy stuff!!!
I can't remember what state you live in (NC maybe?) - I wonder if you can get a very much reduced "compassionate ticket" from Southwest. They are very good about accomodating family members of those who are gravely ill and I think your circumstance fits the bill. Don't be afraid to ask them! Then you would have money left over for a hotel if you wanted to lighten the burden on Rick and Cin, also you could ask the hotel for a special rate. Ditto for the car. Keep us posted on your travels, I hope you can make it happen. Amtrak is very cheap travel, but that's a long way. I've taken the auto train overnight from DC to Orlando several times but it doesn't stop anywhere and that makes a huge difference.
Love and hugs to all of you, please tell Cin I send my love!
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More picnics in heaven, this time from Watteau:
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Hello Ladies,
I'm learning so very much lately. Some of it I wish I'd learned long ago and some of it I wish wasn't even knowledge to be learned. I love to learn things ~when I was in college I loved it so much I said I was going to be a lifetime student, they wouldn't every get rid of me LOL. I started saying the day I stop learning is the day I'll die. Well, that takes on a whole new meaning these days. I don't mind the learning, but learning there is so much pain and sickness that can't be 'fixed' is really frustrating.
I must say, 'though, that it is opening my eyes to a whole part of our society I didn't really have much knowledge about. I'm thinking I may start specializing in my massage career and focus on those with cancer and near the end of their lives ~and their caretakers. Perhaps this is what I'm meant to learn from Cindy and you all.
I think that's a wonderful thing to have learned today ~thank you all!
Lots of Love
ps -Carpediem, NC is correct, just outside of Greensboro. Cindy has said No to the draining because all indications said it would come back and need to be done repeatedly & you know her so called luck in operations ;-) I will call and actually talk to a person at SouthWest, a friend of mine looked online and the rates were actually higher for emergency situations, but a live person may be different. Thank you
Athena -nice! Friends gathered around :-)
Sandy -I'm glad it hasn't returned yet & you're able to have some relief 800cc isn't just a drop in a bucket!
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Elaine, I have also loved to learn, and as I now say, I am learning to love. It has been quite a journey, not things I wanted to learn either. I don't know if I have another 20 years or less than 2 (statistics say less than 5, but who the h*** believes in statistics here???), so I also am searching for what is best to do with the time I have. Some days I get about 4 hours of good energy and feel like I can take on the world, just like I did when I was in college, grad school, and professional school. Then I hit that afternoon wall - so many people nod sympathetically and patronizingly and say "yes, we all get tired about then" but they don't understand that THIS tired is so very very very different than usual being tired. So finding my stride has been and IS difficult.
As for you, it seems that you are learning a lot more about a topic that you would have preferred to avoid, but I think that is exactly what will make you one of the best massage therapists in the world. My massage therapist is also a certified lymphedema specialist, and has also trained in craniosacral therapy and continues to take additional training, and she is THE BEST!!!! She became a massage therapist during an abrupt change in her life and health, and I am sure that has a lot to do with how empathetic and kind she is.
Today I woke up thinking "There are bad days, and there are worse days. There are no good days. But I am able to find SOME MOMENTS of good during each and every day, and those are what I need to focus on." So this morning I am thinking of all the love shown here every day, how many wonderful people there are in this world who love others and show that love through their actions. And I am enjoying my clean house and Christmas tree that my DH and a helper took care of.
Cindy, lots of hugs. If you need someone to read to you over the phone and Elaine gets tired, giver her my number, have her let me know, and I will read to you. Let me warn you I am reading stuff by a Jesuit priest called "Between Heaven and Mirth" and he uses lots of jokes to get his points across about humor, laughter, and joy as part of the spiritual connection. (And I can read lots of other stuff as well.)0 -
NDY :-)
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Elaine, focusing your career on people with cancer and their caretakers would be a great thing to do. Sometimes, our careers pick us. I hope that Cindy's pain manages to be lessened with this visit to hospice. I'll be away from my computer until the new year, but Cindy will be in my heart and thoughts. Wishing her comfort and peace.
Much love and hugs to both of you.
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Thank you, Gracie
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Elaine, just sent you a PM.
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got it, thank you
hope to have a Cindy update soon
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Good morning Cindy, Elaine, Athena, Gracie, Carpediem, Blondie, Ali, goodprognosis, and everyone else. Hoping you are all safe from the storms across the country today, hoping you are all are free from pain and at peace.
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