Ladies in their 30s?
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Hi, I'm debating the same thing! I didn't freeze my eggs at initial diagnosis because my onc and my then BF/now hubby didn't want me to wait to start chemo. I was 28 and everything indicated at that age my fertility would return after initial chemo, but I didn't know back then about mets and being on treatment for life!
I'm now 31, married and everyfreakingone is pregnant. I've accepted that it'll never be a good idea for me to be pregnant, but I still want to try and retrieve eggs. My onc is hesitant to take me off Zoldex and my husband won't go against his recommendations. He's willing to do it if I stay stable for awhile. I'm actually seeing him today and am going to bring it up again. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm really glad to see that someone else is considering this. It makes me feel less crazy!!
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Hey Ladies....I too am in the same boat having the baby fever at 37. All of my friends are having babies and I just have been in a period funk. I have tried coming to terms with not being a mom, but I just can't give up hope. I really do want my own legacy. I currently am on Zoladex and Ibrance with Arimidex. My onc knows how bad I would love to be a mother. I have been NED for 7 months now and have been doing extremely well. I just want my my eggs retrieved if possible. I too am glad someone else is considering this. If my next scan in March shows that I am still NED, I want to begin the conversation. Bad at usernames....you are not crazy. Please share how this appt goes! I am holding on to hope!!
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Neither of you are crazy! I think it's so natural and normal. It's so hard living with advanced disease when most believe that I'm lucky to be alive. I'm so grateful that I'm doing well. But I'd love to at least consider the idea of fertility. I'm speaking now w/a few centers and physicians who are at least willing to speak with me! Once you further along in making these decisions, please let me know and I'll be happy to share what I have with you.
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Bloomingdalechik... would love any info/ insight that you have
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Hello, I am new to this group. I was originally dx in February of this year. Completed chemo, right mastectomy and 25 rad treatments. Last rad was 10/18/16 and my ct scan on 11/22/16 showed spots on spine and left pelvis. Needless to say I was devastated. I have been reading this forum and it has helped me so much. I was 36 when dx and I'm now 37. I have 3 kids son 14, daughter 9 and son 7.
Misty
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Hi, Misty! So sorry that you have to join us in the mets forums but do know you're in a wonderful, supportive place. We've got a bit in common. I am 39 with daughters ages 13, 10 and 7. I believe we live just an hour away from each other too. Then, there is the name thing. I'm Missy.
What is your treatment plan? You're in the roughest spot I know of right now. The first few month post mets dx were the weirdest...a boulder-sized weight of numbness and knowing disbelief if that makes any sense at all. It gets easier once you land a good treatment and find as much reassurance one can get in this situation that things will be okay for a while.
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Hi, Missy! Wow, we do have lots in common (unfortunately one we would not like to have). I will be starting treatment at OSU first week of January. I am going to be in a phase 1 study on a drug gedatolisib. Along with that I will take ibrance and letrozole. I receive currently zolodex and I will also take bone strengthener. I'm ready to start treatment. I hate being in limbo.
I'm glad I found this because I have no one who understands what this feels like that I can talk to! I didn't have any symptoms except achy back which I always have had for years. I was just being scanned for peace of mind! Thank goodness they did so it was caught quickly!
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hi ladies,
Was wondering if anyone could share positive or negatives on getting your ovaries removed? My oncologist pretty much says it is the next step and I would love to hear from some people who have been through the procedure.
I am 36, was diagnosed with breast cancer in April of this year but after surgery and chemo was re-staged to IV when it was discovered in my bones. I have a 2 year old daughter and was NOT done having kids. Luckily My husband and I were able to freeze eggs/embryos before I started chemo but the stage IV diagnosis has left us wondering what's the point of having these egg now:(.
Thanks in advance for any oophorectomy info / experiences!
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Casun19, I have also been told to have my ovaries removed soon too. I will be seeing my ob in January to get this scheduled. I wasn't planning on having anymore children but I would also like to know any info from others who have went through this. I have tolerated the zolodex well so I don't know if that is an indication of how I would tolerate having them removed?
Misty
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Hello Misty and Casun
So sorry that we all find ourselves here. I'm in my early forties with 3 kids and was diagnosed de novo a few weeks ago. It's such a shock - but as so many other women on this site assured me, it does get easier to cope with once you've sorted a plan.
My plan also included an ooph which I had 3 weeks ago. It's a pretty easy procedure, I had the ovaries and tubes out and was in and out of hospital on the one day. I was a bit sore for a couple of days but was up and about pretty quickly.
I haven't had many S/E - some very mild hot flushes. My moods have been up and down but that is just as easily explained by this crappy diagnosis! For me, exercise has been really important to feeling good both physically and mentally.
I was also done having kids Misty (had my tubes tied during the birth of my third) so I didn't have any psychological barriers with the process. I certainly feel so much for you guys who have not yet fulfilled all your dreams for children. It's an extraordinarily difficult situation. My only advice is to get as much info as you can about your options.
In sum, I am very pleased I did it. My cancer is highly ER/PR and it's good to know the biggest source of those hormones are out of my body. You also don't have to worry about taking extra drugs to suppress them and you have a wider range of medication available.
I looked at quite a few threads on this site on this topic and from how I read it, most women were happy to have had the operation.
Good luck all xxx
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Thank you MSL! I am glad to hear that it has went well for you. I also feel for those who were wanting more children. It is hard both ways, I am always thinking, if I make it 5 years, 10 years....how old will my kids be and it hurts to think of missing out on any of their life. I try not to go there but it has been a struggle for me.
My husband has been my source of strength. I am thankful for him.0 -
Yes it's the thought of leaving your kids that is the absolute worst. I weep often. And there is no easy way through finding hope and acceptance except acknowledging all these emotions and horrors.
Women who have already been through these early weeks of diagnosis say that you will find a 'new normal' in the coming months. I'm by no means there yet, but when I look back on how I was a few short weeks ago I know I'm making progress.
Each person is different but what is working for me is adjusting my concepts of time. A day, a week, a month (let alone a year) - a lot of living and love can happen in that time. And try not to put timelines on your life by way of years. My onc says we can live for many, many years, I'm not going to define that number (could be 25!). There's lots of inspirational women on these boards who are living long and full lives.
I'm also taking great comfort in all the quality time I'm spending with my kids now, right now when they need me the most and still want to hang with us! I've always worked long hours, been extremely career focused and thought I'd have all the time in the world later. I, and they, would be missing out on all this precious time together with a mum fully focused on them during these formative years. Hold them tight and enjoy all these moments. There will be years of them to come and one thing is for sure this diagnosis meansyou won't take a second of them for granted.
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I love your words MSL. You are so right! I am going to cherish all this time I get to spend with them. I also believe that we will be here for many many years. I do feel I am much better mentally than the first days also. I was a mess as I'm sure we all were. I've became a little angry at times too. I'm finding peace and trusting God has a plan for me! I pray for all the women going through this but we are strong and can get through it together!
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thanks MSL your experience is helpful to hear, and you have such a great outlook the situation already. Gives me hope that I will untangle this mess at some point.
I meet with my gyno tomorrow to discuss my ovary removal and I am just nervous about other side effects from not having ovaries But I am sure progression would be worse!
@Apg - I too sometimes just sit and wonder how old my daughter will be if I make it "X" years or how my husband will be left alone, and I have to just stop thinking about it. It just makes me so mad.
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You can count me in as another who spends a great deal of time doing the math. I ambitiously hope for 10 more to see all of my kids out of high school, though I recently read a gut-wrenching blog post from a college student who lost a parent to cancer (you find these things when you google the impact of a parent's death on a child, which I was doing in my bummer days, 3-4 days post chemo last week...my mood always drops from steroid withdrawal I think) and it dawned on me that there's really no time when an early death is any easier to bear. I really don't expend too much thought about dying now that I've found stability with treatment, but every once in a while I'm back there again. Sometimes you just can't help but to look at the car wreck.
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I also wanted to say welcome to Casun and MSL. This thread goes through quiet spells and it is good to have you ladies posting. So much of what you newly dx-ed are talking about mirror my exact feelings about a year ago when I was in my first few months. I realized that I needed to stop living my life waiting for the next thing (the next weekend, the next school break, vacation, etc.) and treat every moment with the attention and joy it deserves. Suddenly, I was so happy to braid my girls' hair in the morning instead of rushing through to get to work (then sad b/c they may never have anyone to braid their hair again!). It can be a ridiculous roller coaster. And for me, the poignancy has faded over time. I'm back to braiding in a rush and living for the weekend, instead of enjoying each moment of my job...a loss. But I also plan for the near future without much doubt. Last year I bought a holiday shirt on clearance after Christmas pretty sure I had just wasted 6 bucks and wouldn't get to wear it. I wore it yesterday AND this year I hung the ornaments on the tree without thinking it might be the last time I ever do so. This is a definite win. As with all things, even the worst of things, like cancer, there are blessings. Perspective is certainly a gift of cancer, and I think relationships are, too.
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I am getting better not focusing so much of my thought on doing the math. I am just trying to focus on my treatment plan. I feel like I'm in limbo because I haven't started yet. I will in less than 2 weeks and I think that will make me at ease somewhat. The things I'm worrying about with that is the what if it doesn't work for me?!? Mine spread shortly after my chemo had stopped so I think what if it doesn't respond to this either....but then I read all the comments posted and I see others who have been in the same situation and it gives me hope. It is a viscous mind game. I am tired of thinking about it nonstop too. I wake up inthe middle of the night just to turn over and instantly it is on my mind. I wish I could go one minute in the day without thinking about it. Does that ever get better
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It does get better, though at first I thought for sure I couldn't make it through a day without a crummy thought sneaking in. There seemed to be so many times a few tears would well up, like every time I'd be alone for a second, in a bathroom for instance, and I'd have to make myself stop it and busy myself with somethings lest I shatter to pieces in front of the children. I don't know if I've gone a whole week without remembering the state of things but now it's just a background, matter of fact thought most of the time, not so heavy. Though there are moments, they are widespread.
I too recurred quickly... 7 mos. post chemo, I had 2 near 10 cm tumors in my liver and innumerable smaller ones so I don't think AC/T worked for me at all, but carbo surely does. And you can be sure I've wished a thousand times, that it was my stage 1 treatment. Perhaps it could have kept me from this place but we only know so much. Someday maybe they'll be better at knowing what works case by case, instead of just having standard care preventative chemo that works for many but not all.
All in all, the more I learned about things and particularly, case by case examples from people here, the better I felt. There are lots of treatment options. Hoping everyone finds what works for them quickly and that positive effects are crazy, long lasting.
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I met with my gyno today and she basically recommended to remove the uterus along with the ovaries. This is based on how the uterus acts without the ovaries and what can happen to your uterus while using some of these cancer drugs/treatments. She said the uterus just gets crabby without the ovaries LOL. To correct any bleeding issues or whatever may occur can usually be done with hormones but for people like us we can't use those hormones so our options are limited.
I guess I wasn't surprised when she brought it up. I will have to think about it. But was curious if anyone else got the same recommendation and still just removed the ovaries only?
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Casun19 I meet with mine tomorrow so I will talk to him about that. I met today with my Medical oncologist. She said that is one of the most important things for me to do. Even with zolodex injections my estrogen levels haven't came down a lot. They are starting to drop just not where she would like it.
Misty
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welcome! So sorry you guy's are here. Not a fun club, but a very nice club to be in. I have learned so much from these boards. I remember, in the beginning just wanting to get the cancer out of my body! I also remember searching and searching for someone like me with a positive, hopeful outcome. I will say having a plan and doing the plan helps to settle things down a bit. I am a slow learner and struggled for 3 years with this dx. Meds help. But everyone is different.
I still, after 4+ years, can't really let my mind go there about my kids. It's too painful. If I say it or think it, it may come true. ?? Strange, I know.
Lean on each other. Ask questions. Accept help!!!
I wish you the best in making these hard decisions. I will be following along to see what your ob's say about the ooph
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thanks for all the warm welcomes! It's nice to have a group that understands everything you are going through.
Misty - good luck tomorrow. Will be interested to know what your gyno recommends. I know everyone's situation is different and specific to them but it's nice to hear anyway
Kaayborg - I love your story about the holiday shirt!
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I saw my ob/gyn yesterday and I am scheduled for surgery on Monday. I will only be having the ovaries removed. He felt it was best because quicker recovery and my body will be better recovered when I start my treatment plan on January 9. He is doing this very quick just to help me. He is such a wonderful man and I'm so thankful
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That's great Apg - Your recovery will be quick and then you can get on with your treatment. Enjoy Christmas knowing your plan is sorted xx
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Apg that is great, and so fast! I bet that is a relief. good luck on Monday. Enjoy your Christmas/ holidays.
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Hello, I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! I sure did enjoy mine and it was extra special this year!
I had my surgery yesterday and it all went well. They removed the ovaries and the tubes. I'm a little sore and just laying around taking it easy. It was nothing compared to everything else that we have gone through!
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Well done Apg!!
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This is my first time posting anywhere about anything so I'll just start by saying it's nice (horrible) to read that my BC isn't the only one spreading at breakneck speed. In the last 3 months I've went from perfectly healthy to stage 2 then 3b and now 4. I keep waiting for the craziness to end. Although I gather it probably won't ever end.
Like most of you my biggest/tinyiest concerns are my children. They're 6 & 10. Beautiful intelligent children. So I guess I'm in for a fight. There's no way I'm leaving them anytime soon. They know the basics of what's going on but not how severe it really is. My 6yo amazed me with his garden weed/ tumor comparison. How do their brains do that? And My 10yo was interested in helping with my drains. They have just amazed me.
Anyways thanks for having somewhere I could be understood.
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Welcome teekee, like most people say here, sorry you have found yourself here but glad you have joined us.
Your little ones sound so inquisitive and smart.Being fairly new to the diagnosis myself, all I can tell you is to keep breathing and don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
Others will be able to tell you the crazy stops at some point!
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Hi, teekee. I'm new also. Just diagnosed stage IV a month ago. I too am sorry we have had to join but it has helped to ease my mind at the same time.
We definitely have to fight to be here for our children. My treatment starts Monday. I wish the best for you and everyone here!
Misty
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