2013 Sister Warriors
Comments
-
Hi, ReneeinOH and all the other Sister Warriors! (Thanks, Renee, for the invitation.)
My diagnosis day was last Wednesday (3/6/13) and things have been moving so fast! I'm relieved that the wonderful breast center where I'm being treated has been so fast because I keep thinking "Ew! Get it OFF me!" as if I've seen a big, hairy spider crawling up my shirt or something.
My surgery (lumpectomy) was set for Wednesday, 3/20, but they called this morning to move it to Tuesday, 3/19. Fine with me.
In some ways, it feels like I've had a big dome placed around me. The rest of the world goes about its business and I'm glad for them, but my brain keeps screaming CANCER!! and it refuses to shut up. I'm a college professor and this was supposed to be my sabbatical because I wanted to finish a book I've been working on for way too long, but, suddenly, I don't care about the book; I haven't written or revised a single word since last week. I wonder if this is always going to be "the book I was writing when I learned I had breast cancer." Ugh, I hope not!
So glad all you wonderful people are here, and I'm wishing for good luck for all of us.
0 -
ReneeinOH, awesome news about the no-surgery, no-radiation! I hope you find a good way to celebrate!
0 -
Cece~I know exactly what you're going through. Believe me....It does get better. Especially when you get your path report, and know your complete plan of treatment, you'll feel more in control, and that alone makes it easier.
I'm amazed at the number of teachers, & professors on this forum. It seems to be the #1 career of BC patients.
You'll get through this with the help of the fabulous women warriors on this forum, and come out of the tunnel stronger for it.
Now, PUT YOUR FIGHTING BOOTS ON, and get ready to SLAY THE DRAGON!!!
Blessings
Paula0 -
Welcome, Cece. We are glad you found us. I know I doesn't seem possible now, but as Paula says, your feeling of control and focus will return when you get your path report and have all the facts. I couldn't concentrate at work either when I was at your stage in the process. Hang in there!
If I had to title a book about this whole experience it would be "Life Interrupted" but I guess that one is taken
0 -
Hi Cece,
I too was supposed to be on a sabbatical this semester. I had a trip booked to Antarctica to photograph the animals and the geography. Bad news turned the sabbatical into a sick leave and my long awaited trip had to be canceled. Went through surgery and am now scheduled to start chemo on 3/22.
I too was in a tail spin, but I am feeling much better now that my chemo start date is scheduled. The waiting has been the hardest part for me.
Sending positive thoughts your way.
Denise51
0 -
Hi TMM60,
I will be getting Adriamycin, Cytoxan, and Taxol. This will be followed by radiation and the drug for estrogen, progesterone + wome who are post menopausal. Chemo will be a valley in my life for sure - will continue to keep trying to climb out!
RMlulu- thanks for the calming thoughts! Still not sleeping, am turning into a octurnal animal.
Positive thoughts to all.
Denise51
0 -
Oh Denise, what a terrible bummer to miss your trip to Antarctica- how cool (no pun intended) would that have been? I sure hope it is still something you can do in the future when you emerge on the other side of chemo valley!
0 -
Hi Ladies -
Just heard today that my stereotactic biopsy of two areas is positive, one of them for IDC and the other - well I don't know, a bunch of calcifications that are cancerous but not invasive. So......still haven't processed it. But my overall feeling is that it's a bump in the road. One that I will handle. One that I will conquer. Both my maternal grandmother and maternal grandfather had breast cancer, but not my mom who is 82. So when did you start telling people about this? I hate attention, but clearly, I'll have to say something at some point. I'm thinking I need to meet with the surgeon before I say anything, even to my (adult) kids or my parents. As of now, my husband and I are the keepers of the info.0 -
To: Cece
Sorry you had to join this group, but so glad you found us. I understand totally the "bubble" thing. I feel the same way. My brain has started to shut up a little..lol not screaming so loudly now. Counting the days until I finish my treatments. Had the first one last Friday and allthough I havent felt well there was no projectile "Exorcist Type" vomiting involved ! For that Im thankful ! Everyone tells me that I will get back to normal and there will be days that I dont think of Breast Cancer 24/7. Best of luck on your surgery and as you start your process.
Angie
0 -
Donnabelle~I told my husband right away, then called my boys aged 25 & 40, my 2 sisters and brother. I know how much they love me and I felt they deserved to know, especially my sisters. My sister Jan was behind on getting her mammo, so that moved her go right away.
I then told my Pastor & his wife. I have an awesome, close knit church family and I coveted their prayers. They have been awesome. They've offered rides to treatment, to clean my house, scrub my carpet. They've cooked meals for us, given us restaurant gift cards, sent cards, prayed for me, given me money numerous times, knitted me an afghan, took me to dinner, and today when my mini daschund needed a vet for a back injury a lady in my church him to her vet. My husband lost his job and we haven't had a paycheck in weeks, but thanks to the kindness of friends, family, and my church, our utilities are still on, and we have plenty of food.
I also believe it takes much more effort to hide it than to be open about it. I hate my wig and have only worn it once, so it's obvious with the hats & scarves that I've lost my hair, and I am weaker on chemo weeks. So they would have known something was amiss.
This has been in some ways a very rough journey, but in many ways it has been a blessing. Well...let me rephrase that..it hasn't been a blessing, but many blessing have come to me because of it.
Still, you have to do what feels right for you. What are you comfortable with? I've never regretted sharing.
Blessings
Paula0 -
Good luck with your chemo! Chemo is one of my biggest fears, not loosing the hair, who cares, but the illness that goes along with it, so I am happy to hear you are not emulating Exorcist behavior! Be brave and I will too!
0 -
Oh Paula, thank you! You are a lot further along than I am, having just heard today. I hope I will have your wisdom as time goes by. I am so glad that I found this forum. I'm new to it and not so computer savvy, but I hope I catch on and can contribute as much as all of you. Blessings!
0 -
Welcome to the new warriors and so glad to hear everyone's news! It's about 1:30 am so clearly the warning about not taking the "day before chemo steroid" after 4 pm is now confirmed! I read all the posts but don't have the brain power to write out to specific names. But here goes my thoughts for today. Since I'm on the Herceptin I have my echocardiogram at 7:30 am and then chemo at 8. now that I'm up I'm thinking I'll sleep through chemo! I feel the same way about the wigs. I have 4. 2 from the lovely Nurse Navigator that is attached to the hospital, one from my hubby and one I bought that is really the most work appropriate when I went to the wig shop with my kids. All in all I wear the long one out for the hubby and the work one to work. By the end of the day I am ripping it off in the car on the way home to let me head breathe. Since this will be my work from home for 10 days I am so tempted to go back to work with one of the longer wigs and freak the office out.
I agree its the waiting for path, surgery, then chemo or whatever the treatment is that is the hardest part. Now I feel happy and confident that I will get throught the treatment stronger than ever. The CANCER!!! overwhelming feeling went away after surgery, then it was anxiousness about how I would react to chemo. But I find its background noise in my life on some days which is so nice!
I'll be thinking of everyone and look forward to hearing the news after surgeries and treatments. It is really nice to share experiences with the warrior sisters! Have a great day everyone!
0 -
Hello Ladies, Looks like I am a new fellow sister warrior. I was diagnosed yesterday with IDC. Still in the beginning stages of it all so only know a few things. I will be having a double mastectomy first week of April, if they don't decide to do chemo first. I have 2 confirmed cancerous tumors in my right breasts and they think they found another one yesterday and possibly 2 in my left breasts. They are giving me a tintitive staging of 3 but once again have to have some scans and a lymph node biopsy to get a concrete staging. I am still in a bit of shock. I am 36 and just never thought about breast cancer. I am not one to let much get in my way though so this is just something else I get to conquer in life. I am glad that I found this forum. Going through the wait was worse than the diagnoses for me and this forum and the ladies on here are amazing.
0 -
Paula, TMM60, Denise51, Angie, & PositiveThinking, thank you for the warm welcome. I'm very glad to hear that my reactions are not weird or something.
Mande, you've found a nice group. I'm sorry you have to be here.
Denise51, I'm so bummed that you had to cancel your trip. Can you put the funding and stuff on hold until next year? I'm assuming you can't do this in the fall semester, given the weather. Best of luck with the chemo.
And best of luck to everyone here. This wasn't supposed to happen to any of us.
0 -
Hi everyone!
Home from having bilateral mastectomy w/ immediate reconstruction! Great news though,Clear lymp nodes! In pain but looking forward to being part of the way to the end! This cancer thing SUX!
Love to all!
Angie0 -
Good morning,
With each new member it takes me back to my phone call from the doctor elected to deliver the news. The shocked feeling fades as you start to focus on the surgery treatment choices. Once you become part of the decisions along with all the doctors you get control back. I have finished 8/30 radiation treatments and feeling great. My skin and energy are holding up to this point, but I am preparing to when the side effects may become an issue or not.
Donnabelle, I was also conflicted on when it was the right time to share this information. My husband and I agreed not to share it with anyone until I was reviewed at tumor board and had a better idea of outcomes. That only took a few days and then we shared with our 4 adult children and siblings. Our parents are not with us any longer so that wasn't as challenging as some of the ladies have posted. I only told the people who really needed to know at work until after surgery. After tumor board met again with a treatment recommendation I then was more open. That is the decision I might reverse if I could. Because I was not having chemo it wasn't going to be as obvious to those who I supervise with each day. Good luck with your decisions and I will think of you and Mande as your adjust to this news. Peaceful calming hugs to you both.
Glad everyone is so willing to share it is really a blessing.
Patty
0 -
Mande~Welcome to our group. It looks like you have a great attitude, which to me, makes all the difference in the world. We can whine..why me? Why me? Or we can put on our FIGHTING BOOTS and GO SLAY THE DRAGON!!!
barberchic~Great news on clear nodes! I had 13/16 positive nodes. I will beat this beast.
Blessings
Paula0 -
barberchic- doing the happy dance for your news of negative nodes!
0 -
Woohoo barberchic!
0 -
Hooray, barberchic! Way to go! You've given this monster one darned good STOMPING! (Paula, I've stolen your boots metaphor! By the way, I'm a medievalist by training, so I know everything there is to know about slaying dragons who attack maidens, LOL...
)Today I've been wondering at what point a person can describe herself--or, more accurately, WANTS to describe herself--as "fighting cancer." In a way, I feel like I started fighting as soon as I knew about the problem on my latest mammogram; that was when I insisted that I would be driving 45 minutes to get the best-in-the-area care. The insurance company tried to argue about that, but I threw a fit the likes of which I've never thrown before and my regular doctor did the same. Then it was "Yes, ma'am." But, in other ways, I feel uncertain about whether I've even begun to fight. There's so much to get through, so many steps to take.
0 -
Cece~I think we begin to fight when we stop crying, and asking "Why me?" And make our minds up to go with the course of treatment, and do everything we can to rid our bodies of this beast.
I'm a christian. My hope comes from God and his word rather than medicine & doctors, but I know that God gives doctors wisdom & knowledge. He can heal us instantly, or allow us to walk it out, which only strengthens our faith. God does use doctors too.
I believe I began to fight as soon as I absorbed the news when the BS office called me. That took about 5 minutes.
Blessings
Paula0 -
Congrats barber chick! And thank you Patty for your wisdom about disclosing the news to family and friends. Since I just heard the news yesterday, I will wait till I see the surgeon and the oncologist to have a better grasp on what's happening.
I was able to take a long walk this morning and get my head on straight about how I am going to handle this challenge. I have always been a goal oriented person. Last year at age 58 I set the goal to run and finish a marathon. It took a lot of dedicated training and a lot of physical, and especially mental,endurance to run that race, and I did it!
So this is my health marathon. I will tackle the challenge with all I have and cross the finish line cancer free. That is my immediate goal. And once it's achieved, maybe I'll just go ahead and do another marathon!
Thank you all for your posts. We are warriors like no other!0 -
Welcome to our newest sisters. We will be here for you and with you.
So glad to hear about your results barberchic! Woo-hoo!
I told everyone, it seems. But, it made sense for my life. I sent out an email to everyone at work, since I work in a small office (less than 20 people); didn't seem to make sense to have some know, others not (could be talked about openly). Told my kids' teachers and friends/parents of their friends, in case there were behavioral issues (and quite frankly, ask for help so their lives didn't get turned upside down). Told friends, even have a website set up to help out (check out https://nfca.lotsahelpinghands.com/caregiving/home/). Told many people that I work with (that I have an aquaintance or friend relationship with)--I just wanted as many people as positive saying prayers and sending positive thoughts my way. I decided I was going to do anything to beat this thing. Period.
Yea! My remaining drain was pulled yesterday. Freedom! Have to wait two weeks until my first TE fill. PS wants my incision to heal.
0 -
Hi Warriors!
Welcome to our new sisters. You will find a safe place to share vent and receive encouragement - we are strong together.
Happy Dancing for Renee, barberchic yeah for good reports
Paula- keep those boots on and stomp the heck out of cancer! Way to go
)
Densie51a sorry about your sabbatical trip on hold...battle calls but you have goal in sight...count those icebergs ... Trip of a lifetime wow!
Angie & positive thinking - praying that your walk in chemo valley will be covered in grace and love. Hope you have some great appointment buddies). healing vibes
Donnabelle - trust your gut when to tell, but know that you will be overwhelmed by the out pouring of love that blesses you and your family. Sharing takes courage we be one vulnerable but there is power in taking control of your dx & tx
Mande & Cece - use this time to gather data ask questions form a get tx team and enjoy your love ones Today! Focus on today and don't get ahead of this journey. The pressure and fog does ease once you have your surgery and path report in hand)
Today was my 1st Rad)) making progress serious laser tag!
Sending healing thoughts to all (((hugs)))
Fight Warriors!0 -
Hi all, I have appreciated all the inspiring posts here. I am in waiting mode, and honestly, I feel overwhelmed, sad, and anxious. I meet with my MO on Tuesday to discuss my treatment plan. I know it sounds crazy, but one of my fears is that they won't want to do chemo. I want to fight this cancer with everything I can. I will find peace, but it's eluding me tonight.
I had my BMX two weeks ago, one positive node (the only one they checked). I did not choose reconstruction. While I completely understand and support those who are getting reconstruction, it was not a good choice for me. At least I have peace with that
Regarding who to tell, and when, I told everyone very early so that I wouldn't have to do it once I got immersed in my treatment, etc. I am so glad I did. My friend sent out an email for me to my friends and colleagues, and she even encouraged people to send cards and soft fluffy things to me. Lol. I can't tell you how awesome it is to have the cards and beautiful gifts: post-surgery camis with pockets for drains, scarves to camouflage my chest, stuffed animals, soft blankets, a handmade shawl, books to get lost in... Meals, errands... I've been spoiled rotten and I am deeply grateful. Humbled. I normally would be strong and independent, but by allowing myself to feel the vulnerability and my need for comfort and support, I have been filled up. And I have needed it. Ths is a very emotional journey!
Thanks for being my fellow warriors! You are awesome.0 -
BeHereNow~I can pretty much guarantee you that due to the one positive node, you will get chemo. Once it's in the nodes, even just one, that means it has left the confines the the breast, and they will be aggressive in treating it.
One node isn't bad. I had 13 out of 16. I was stunned when I got that report. I knew going into surgery there were a couple, but I was absolutely shocked at the final number.
Wishing you the best.
Blessings
Paula0 -
Thank you, Paula. I'm sorry you had so many positive nodes. I can imagine what a surprise that would be. So scary and stressful! You're undergoing chemo now, it looks like. I hope you are not suffering too much and that you are finding some joy in the little things (I hope I can do that). Sending you prayers and good wishes.
0 -
I understand how you feel. Been in your shoes am in your shoes. My youngest goes go college and have worried she will leave and come home to take care of me. Everywhere I look hear is you have cancer. Though tetnically Im considered a survivor but I'm still fighting it. I hope you find peace and the things you want need and should do will be there when this is over! Hang tough
0 -
Wow we have a lot of new members! Welcome everyone! I am sorry you had to join us but happy that you found us. My kids are out for spring break this week so we have been out having fun. I did see the surgeon on Monday and she wants me to talk to a genetic counselor and to see a a therapist for possible lymphadema. We talked about me going back in for a double mastectomy after the genetic counseling. I will have to wait 6 months after my last radiation treatment to have it done which is actually fine with me. Although I could go ahead and have the surgery now and avoid the radiation, I just don't think I can handle a major surgery right now so I will start radiation on the 25th.
0
