new and future flat sister, with questions
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Oh ldesim, I am so pleased to see you back, are you ready? Yep! clapping my hands with glee!
I missed you, a lot, but I understand totally, why you have stayed away. I do love that you've retained your "Gutter Gums!" We haven't had a lot of cursing going on for a while here. It feels good!
So sorry you were sick twice with the office lurgy, I hope you're firing on all cylinders again. Do you enjoy the different work, or do you want to get back into Real Estate again?
Well, now let me think, mmm, maybe another couple of Foobs since we last talked. I had my dog ear taken off, big difference, both to appearance and to the nerve sensation which had been with me since the Mx. I really can't believe what a difference it has made.
Bobo hasn't been here too much either, she had a really tough time after the infection and another surgery, but she's back at work again.
So good to see you...M!
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jsj, I really wish we lived closer, I'd love to hang out with you and give you a big, big, hug right now. We all understand just how you are feeling right now, as the time gets closer. Oooh I wish we could make it easier for you.
ldesim is right, you're awesome! What a tough decision that was for you to have to make, but she's so right about how you will feel when it is over. The relief is like nothing else! It is a process though, and although we can talk and reassure, it isn't till you actually go through it that you'll know what we mean.
Give Sailman a hug from me, I am so glad you have such great support, it means so much. We will all be there, in the bag with you! Take care M x
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Fia, what a lovely gift from your Son. It got me sniffling too! Big hug from me.
I am sorry you have had such a rough time, for a long time. It can't have been easy for your son either, but he is a credit to you, he loves you so much.
I am with you, I want to ride in the front row too!
Seeing those skirts reminded me of Bec when she was small. She wasn't a really girly girl and always wanted to wear jeans or pants, never dresses. I don't know how many times I would turn around to look for Bec when we were out and I had convinced her to wear a dress and she would be hanging upside down from something with her dress flipped over her head. That kid had callouses on her hands from monkey bars and fences, she spent most of her time upside down! LOL M x
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gB, Here was I thinking you were absorbed in Ebay, and you weren't feeling good either. I am so sorry. Hugs to you too.
You've had so much going on too.I hope the feel of Spring in the air will energize you and you'll feel better too. M x
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otceb, I am glad your stomach felt a bit better, but losing your taste buds must be very unpleasant. I hope the probiotics will help you a bit more too.
I hope you have a good weekend! Take care M x
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Footballnut, phew that was quite a list. I am so sorry you're going through all this, but great advice as always from the others who have faced the same issues. We will all be here!
I am so glad you have a great man to help and support too, that break sounds like just what you need.....Take care M x
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It's going to be a long front row! I made it my screen on my phone
Yes we found each other because of breast cancer but we love each other and don't give a rats @ss what kind you might or might not have. We are here for each other through the good, the bad and the ugly. So please share whatever you need to. I'm sure the SEs and the feelings are the same no matter what your diagnosis is. You have no idea who you are helping when you post. Remember we have lurkers that get support from us too.
I hope the spring air does rejuvenate everyone. That and a coffee IV. Two rambunctious kids and they don't know they are seeing their cousins today. Wish I could bottle that energy, joy.
I've been hibernating a little also. Would love to stay home in bed for as long as I wanted. But I don't want to give up these boards. Since I'm not working, this is my contribution, in a small way. I start each morning with you all and a cup of tea.
OTC. It's my real hair. I never wore a wig. It's very thick, soft and a little curly/wavy. It's a couple of inches but my bangs aren't even an inch. I know it took the baby a long time for the front to grow. Two ladies there were almost two years out and it barely reached their shoulders and it was their first real cut, not just lightly trimming the ends.
Off to see the Easter bunny and hunt eggs and celebrate 2014 birthdays. Tomorrow it's off to the races, literally. Big Derby prep race and I'll be kid free.
It's supposed to almost 80 and I was rethinking my outfit. Tried on a sleeveless dress but it needs boobs. Stuffed my knitted knockers in. Asked DH. He said it made him uncomfortable. That it wasn't me. He's never said anything before. Do you think he's finally being honest about how bc has impacted us?
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jsjherman....Stacey~ I am doing pretty good, thanks! The rear ender was nothing! So Monday is your surgery?
One month post BMX, still some feeling like irritation in front/under arm pits. Numb and hard at incisions & bumpy in other areas but other than an occasional Zing of a pain no real discomfort. I am wearing the stretchy bralets that have the thin foam liner, add a bit of fiberfill & dressed I look like my old self. I went to a local support group that was very disappointing. There was no topic regarding BC, treatment, anything. Just women 5-11 years out that have known each other for a long time so they chat. No one new ever returns.
I had rad simulation & do a dry run next Friday, first rad that Monday.
Spring has FINALLY come to NH. Such a loooong winter. I have been outside raking, even though there are piles of snow left. Tomorrow the outdoors antique flea down in Mass is suppose to start, hoping the field isn't muddy & it doesn't rain. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a motorcycle ride but that doesn't look too promising.
Hope everyone has a good weekend.
Lyn
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dHiya Zills, a day at the races sounds really nice, and kid free too!
I love it when you post just as I am going to bed, it is nice to know you're there, so far away.
I am going to hide some eggs for Bec, she'll get a laugh out of that. I can't wait to see her, 8 or 9 days will be great. I hope we have some nice weather to take her out on the boat.
One of the young girls in my BC group had a BMX and she wears a really nice cut dress which is sleeveless, with a square neckline and a slightly full skirt with pockets at the hips. The top is sort of bodice like and she has the same style in several different patterned fabrics. I think she had them made in Asia when she was there for the Dragon Boat races. They really look great and she has fine knit cardigans that she wears over the top with the sleeves pushed up to below the elbow. I have to say that when I first met her and saw her in one of those dresses, I wasn't sure if she'd had a BMX or if she was just a flat chested girl.The patterns on the fabric look fantastic.
I don't know what the comment from your Husband actually means . I just know it must be hard for them to assimilate all the changes. It sound to me like he is saying he feels uncomfortable because foobs don't look right, because he has come to terms with you going flat.
We kept a photographic log of each stage and Colin took a shot of my bare chest the day before my surgery. When we were going through the pics for Erica, we came across that pre surgery photo. Colin stopped and said "Oh, now that feels weird, I am so used to seeing you like you are now, that I find the photo of the "old" you, very strange!" I have to say it looked weird to me too, who would have thought that 15 months and the new normal has really become, the new normal!
Take care and have a great weekend, that warmth must be wonderful after the long Winter you've had. M x
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Ariom, We did the photo record too. I ran across those photos the other day and thought "I'm really fat!" I've lost 10lbs since then and still look the same. Not fair. It does make me realize that I need another 10 gone. Hopefully that will help with the Buddha belly.
Zills, I would think no boobs would make the shoulder and armhole fit differently. I notice that when I go half flat.
Lucky woman getting clothes made to order in Asia. Every time SIL and GS go visit family, they have clothes tailored to them. One GS is 6'4" and not wide, so he really needs clothing made to measure.
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Warning! This is a rant! We moved to our house 25 years ago because it was a nice quiet laid-back neighborhood with a small retail core and space around the houses. Now it is turning into F**ing New York City. I have nothing against NYC, but if I had wanted to live there I would have moved there. They are building condos on every square inch and the latest built close to my house block my view of the sky quadrant where we can see what weather is coming. Parking is a nightmare and expensive. If we want to go to the little downtown, we usually walk unless it's pouring rain. Not that we need to go there much any more because it's all boutiques and bars and expensive restaurants. They're letting them build all these places without parking (because people will bicycle and ride the bus) and wait.....they're cutting bus service. I am so ready to move somewhere else. Unfortunately, DH loves to garden and our yard is a show piece and he has too much stuff to ever move anyway. The latest straw was closing an affordable seafood restaurant within walking distance. Another greedy landlord. Wonder how many condos they will build on that site? No response needed, but I thought a rant beat sitting here crying.
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And that dear Wren is exactly why I moved from the Sierras in CA to MT!! A winery developed a theme park of all the fracking things in one sleepy little town down the hill!! Then they began advertising nationwide. The tour busses started coming up the hill for the skiing above my town and to visit "the gold (now wine too) country". The very historic town down the hill became filled with condos and all the trendy boutiques and fancy eateries. I couldn't stand it. It was a monumental thing to do all by myself, but I sold my home and packed up and moved here to rural MT. That was 10 years ago almost to the day and I haven't regretted it! Despite some weather challenges. Well, except it is pretty far from my kids..... but FaceTime helps that a lot!
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Oh Wren ,
I am so sorry . Is it possible that all the "Urban renewal" BS has increased your property value so that you could afford move? I know you said that your DH loves your garden but after all those of us on this site have been through we deserve peace , and to be happy ! Just a thought .................
GrammaB We will be moving to 80 acres on the top of a mountain hopefully within the next year . I know I will be trading the convenience of the city (doctors, grocery , restaurants etc.) But I cannot wait to spend my days playing in the greenhouse, quilting and avoiding most people
Hello to everyone !! Zills and M have fun with the Easter festivities !!
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Chiming in, with no insight into chemo, but sending thoughts of peace and strength your way, FootballNut. Enjoy your trip.
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Good morning from a very damp and chilly Down Under!
The big farmers market is on today, but I am not really wanting to get that muddy and wet, bu then I think of all that lovely produce and I am wondering where I put my boots for the Summer. I best check it hasn't been cancelled before I go.
I know what you mean about the weight Wren, I have been carrying the steroid weight for a long time and have just had to come to terms that it is not going away. Even when I lose weight, it is still there, and is accentuated when I look at the flat side. I hate it, but it is what it is!
I know you said no response required, but I sympathize with you about the "progress" where you live. It is the exact reason we moved here to the Country.
I don't understand the thinking of the local councils or government bodies who just allow this "destroy and re build, more", mentality to get so out of kilter. We lived in a really strict Heritage area in our last home where you couldn't even paint your fence without a permit, they held up the building of our house for 7 long months because they didn't want us to build in sandstone because it wasn't and inherent stone of the area, then suddenly, lots of old buildings began to disappear and more and more condos started to appear. There was no infrastructure improvements and our little beach village on the edge of the city of Melbourne exploded into something no one really wanted. It had always had the cafe and restaurant scene which we embraced, but it got out of control with no where to park and too many people around all the time. It got to the point where Colin couldn't go to the local shops and banks because there was always some self entitled F'wit in the disabled parking spots, one even shouting at Colin as she stole his car spot that "She was more disabled than him, she has 3 kids!" We found we were angry, a lot, not something that we were used to and I could have a confrontation just going to the supermarket. The halcyon days were definitely over. Even the Pelicans had moved on to the next beach along!
I understand your reluctance to move, it is a really tough decision, and oh my, the actual preparation to sell, then buy, followed by the packing and move is awful, but for us, it has been the most sensational and absolutely right decision. The one positive, if you can call it that, in all this change, is that when your area becomes the "Sought After" area, of course that is reflected in the price you can secure for your home and that can, of course, give you the freedom to purchase just what you want, somewhere else.
I know that making a big move isn't right for everyone, and had someone told me 10 years ago that I would be moving to a coastal town 300km from the city, I would have laughed at them. I have never lived more than 10 km from the city center, so it was a huge leap of faith.
Well, I don't know where all that came from...take care...catch you later...M x
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Hello Fia and RR, you snuck in while I was ranting!
Good to see you RR, have a good weekend!
Hi Fia, 80 acres, now you can really lose yourself in that..how wonderful! I know just what you mean about getting on with the things you love and your own solitude. One of the things I love about this place is that no one wants to live in your pocket. There is plenty to do, and people are always available to lend a hand if you need it, but we all value our own space. I guess it is because most of us have found this place and moved from somewhere else, with the same lifestyle in mind, there are not a lot of actual "Locals" who grew up here, so there is none of that clique nonsense about not being local till you've been here 30 years or so.
I wish you all the best for your big move! M x
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gB, that was quite a move to do too! I have no regrets, but i do miss having Bec 5 minutes away. In saying that, I do have much more quality time when she comes to stay here. When we lived close, we could go weeks without actually seeing each other and it may be just for an hour or so. We still speak every day, as we always did, but when she comes for a week or more it is amazing!
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M ,
F'wit ? OMG As Bobo would say . I am peeing myself !!! Thank you !! I now have a new favorite swear word !!
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Ha, Fia, I am glad you like it! It is probably the most widely used cuss word here in Aus, oh along with D'head. M x
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Idesim, I have really missed you so much.
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OMG Bobo, how are you my lovely?
I am getting surprises every time I try to move on and have a shower! M x
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Vintage, I ran into the same thing at the support group. Oh, they were all very nice, the 2nd time I went, a newly dx'd woman was there, crying. NOBODY paid much attention to her. That did it for me. I came here to BCO. It's a much better place.
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Spookie, that is just so sad! We are a wonderful sisterhood here, it is so hard believe that in real life there isn't the same bonding. Shame on them!
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Sorry Vintage, I missed your post earlier. What a crappy experience that was for you. The group I go to has new ones coming all the time. It has only been going for 2 years and the initial 6 have grown to 17. I went to my first meeting, sort of under sufferance, before my surgery, because I was afraid they'd think me a snob if I didn't go when they had invited me.
Last month we had a new lady and we found ourselves still sitting chatting with her at 1.30pm when the meeting finished at 12.00pm. She lives alone and feels very isolated now that her treatment is over. I must admit, if no one has any specific BC questions, we don't specifically talk BC, but if there are any issues that anyone wants to talk about, we are all involved in the discussion. It isn't uncommon for the thump of different Prosthesis to hit the table if someone has a question about which one to look at buying. We go on outings and have speakers every couple of months.
It is a real shame when a clique group take over a meeting and lose sight of the original reason for meeting. I remember how nervous I was when I went to the first one, with my surgery about a week away, but these women welcomed me and knowing I had no family or friends in the area, a couple rang to find out how I was doing after my surgery.
Would it be worth your while to look at getting together with other newbies and starting your own group? M x
Spookiesmom, I just discovered the post I wrote to you has disappeared. I am so sorry you had that experience too. What on earth are those women thinking? I can't imagine ignoring someone who is in distress.
I am so glad we have the great support for each other here! M x
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I was amazed to learn that there are only 3 BC "networking" groups in the Seattle area. You'd think there would be more in a city with so many people and top rated cancer facilities. Only one of the groups was close enough to attend. Calling it networking put me off; made it sound like networking to find a job. I was so happy to find the support here.
I'm off to the shelter for a 2hr kitten class. In addition to kittens with Moms, it's about bottle baby kittens. I would probably sleep through feedings and they would starve, so I'm not planning to foster. I could go in and feed them in the afternoon before they're picked up. They asked us to watch a couple of videos first, which just made it sound more and more difficult. It's quite a job being the mother cat. I watched a litter being fed at the shelter one day. She had 2 carriers and would take them out of one, feed them, get them to eliminate, clean them and put them in the other carrier. At least she could be sure she wasn't feeding just one over and over.
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Hi Wren, that is amazing! Just 3 groups for that huge area. We have 3 just between our little town and the next big town. One in the big town has been running for 18 years and has about 40 regular members and then there is the Blossoms, which is the young women, mostly with children, i am not sure, but I think they have about 20 members, add our 17 and that's a lot for a small regional area and they are just the ones who go to meetings! I have no idea how many more are out there. We do have a brilliant BC support system here in Aus, with our own McGrath Breast care Nurse, who is the one to guide us all at Dx. She keeps us all appraised of what's going on and visits us at home, and we are all on the mailing lists of all BC info from the Government Health to BCNA which is BC networking Australia. They keep it all pretty tight and everyone is in the loop. It's not something I had the slightest idea about till I was Dx, it wasn't around in my Mother's day. We just had to find what was available ourselves, and there was no internet!
I really admire your work with the cats. You made me smile when you said you'd sleep through and they'd starve. That would be me too. I was lucky that Bec was such a great sleeper because I was afraid I would sleep through when she was a baby too! LOL Take it easy...M x
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This is the letter I wrote to "the girls" today and I wanted to share it with y'all. I know more than anyone, y'all understand.. Hugz to you all and see you on the other side
Surgery is scheduled for 8am in the morning Dear girls,
Since I was 12, I have worried about you doing to me what you did to my mama. You almost killed her and left he with horrible after effects of the chemo that I think caused her immune issues and her lupus. You caused me a lot of heart ache as I watched and waited as I wondered when you... would try to get me. I was lucky to grow up with her a uni because it showed me that you are not an essential part of my life. You were only there to feed my son when he was born and I thank you for that at least. Other than that, you have been a pain in my back, had me called "jugs" as a young teen because you insisted on growing so fast, and over all just been there. I buried my head in the sand for years, afraid of finding out the dangers lurking in you. I always waited for the bomb to drop in my 20's when I had my first mammogram for a "water tumor". In my 30's I worried that you were going to act up because that is when you hit my mama, aunt and cousin. I was paralyzed by fear and couldn't even face the thought of getting another mammogram after my last one when I turned 30 (for a base line because even then the docs knew what you could/would do). It took a co-worker making me promise her as she was going through chemo that I would go have you checked. And what happened? You had already started to grown things that shouldn't be there. Luckily, you were busted before you could turn it to cancer. Luckily, it was caught as a benign papilloma. Luckily, in my 40's I am strong and have realized that you do not define me as a person... you are just there... waiting to act up and cause me grief. I know you didn't control the genetics that gave me the BRCA1 mutation, but you are the catalyst that it needs to mutate. It likes your cells to mutate in, to grow in, to try to kill me in. So, I say good-bye to you as I kick you to the curb and start my life anew as a fantastically flat, beautiful woman. You didn't win this one, you lose.. Checkmate.0 -
jsj, Great idea to write the letter. Let them know their place . . which is not on you. You're going to be flat and gorgeous. Best wishes for an uneventful surgery. Please post when you feel up to it. Hugs.
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Oh Jsj, I love that! So eloquent and I totally understand you doing that. I gave my righty a talking to, the night before.
So many of us had Mothers who had this surgery before us. My Mother was a Uni too.
I am with Wren, you will be flat and gorgeous! I wish you an uneventful surgery too. and can't wait to hear how you're doing. Give Sailman a hug from me, he's going to have a rough time waiting. I will be checking the time and thinking about you! Hugs from me over here!!!!! M x
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jsj, beautiful and perfect letter! Good luck tomorrow!
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