January 2014 Surgery Sisters
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I think Diane gave great advice. I'm sorry you are in this position.....knowing you can't go back to work but needing to. I went back to work after 8 weeks, but like Diana, I sit at a desk, so there's a difference. I also think if you were able to do smaller fills each time it would be easier on you. I had 50 or 75 each time and I was never really uncomfortable enough for pain meds until the last one (and that's because they overfilled my radiation side). I wouldn't plan on fills interfering with work (aside from the appointments).
{{{hugs}}}}
I hope you're able to figure something out that you and your husband are both comfortable with.
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Ladies thank you so much for your supportive words and ideas!!! My main concern was not losing my job since without fmla my superindent could terminate my job because I have no time left after April 21 and if I didn't return I would be breaching my contract. She assured me that that won't happen. Phew!!! So now I just have to find a way to stretch a dollar in the upcoming months. Do any of you know if companies like the phone company, electric company etc have something in place to help pay your bills if u are out on disability?? I know me being out is going to really hurt financially, but as far as my recovery I think it's the best choice... I just feel like I'm being selfish or putting my family in a difficult position.
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Diane,
Thanks for your ideas! I actually told my principal before that on Tuesday afternoons I would need to leave at 215 to get my fills done until I was complete. That was the only day I could get and the latest appt. I booked like weeks out... She couldn't guarantee me that she could have a sub in my class for the last hour of the day and she was concerned about me not being able to do the following day. As was I. I still have quite a bit of pain. My range of motion isn't quite there, I go to physical therapy twice a week and plan to go to the gym to swim- they say that helps a lot too.
I'm just hoping my superintendent comes back w a plan that will allow me collect something!!! I feel terrible not being able to provide for my family and it stresses my husband out because he wants me to recover but knows without both of our checks it's impossible to cover all of our bills. Right now, I'm getting between 200-500 every two weeks!!!!! It's killing us
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Diane....I wish things were working out better for you. Nobody going thru a cancer DX should need to stress about bills. You can't just make yourself be better....it takes time. Being a teacher must take so much energy....there is no way I would be up for an entire day of that....and I had my surgery a month before you.
Swimming sounds like a great idea.
Laurie
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Hi everyone,
Well, we made it back from the clinic in one piece! As usual we had to drive through a snowstorm on the way home. I'm not sure how many inches we had, but it came down in huge wet fluffy flakes which made it pretty slushy and almost icy by the time we got close to home. This morning it looks like January all over again. Yuck! Good news it's supposed to warm up this weekend.
Tuesday I met with my MO, psych nurse, then had fills and met with my PS. I am DONE with fills! Wow, do I ever feel huge! But I'm so excited because I actually have a surgery date for the exchange surgery setup for the end of July.
I also had my Zometa infusion on Tuesday. That night we stayed overnight at mom's. The following day I got REALLY tired, sick to my stomach and achy all over. They had warned me it could happen, but still....that was rough! Spent all day sleeping which wasn't what I had in mind. I was supposed to be taking care of mom while my brother had the day off. So, I took her to her room and told her I had to take a nap. Fortunately she didn't object. She had to rest anyway because she had fallen and fractured her rib the previous week. When I woke up 3 hours later I started crying and couldn't stop. Felt so crappy. That night I had to take some Valium to sleep and woke up whimpering in pain. Took some Tylenol and thank goodness it all went away the next day. I have to do that every 6 months. Oh well, anything is better than weak bones.
Thursday a.m. we drove back to the clinic. I saw the PT and he swears I'll get better - it's just going to take time and lots of commitment on my part. I'm determined to have full range of motion, so I faithfully do all my stretches at least twice a day.
Finally the last appt. of the day was at the Survivorship Clinic. Kind of a last chance to summarize everything, talk about follow-up and some last minute health tips. I was told that the fatigue could last as long as a year. So, at least now I know what to expect. I'm not due back for my next follow up until June and am more than happy about that! All the docs have been wonderful and I love my team. But now I feel like I can take it from here. Plus, I'm starting an antidepressant and I'm sure that will help. It's all just going to take time. Was glad to get back home after all that!
I haven't had access to or time to do much on the computer this week, so I really missed reading all your posts!
Hope you're all having a good day!
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Hi again,
By the way, just wanted to add that I've posted pics of my TE journey so far on the picture forum under the name "boobyprize" if anyone is interested. I've been following this forum for some time now even though my PS's nurse warned me not to worry about what other women are doing because everyone is different and there is no recipe. Just thought I'd share for the sake of collective knowledge and all that!
Happy Friday!
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Hi Ladies: Have any of you with TE's decided what kind of implants you are getting, and why? I had thought gummies, but didn't like what I read in the gummy bear discussion group. I need to decide before next Friday when I meet with my PS.
I'm home with my son, who we found out this a.m., has strep throat, and just to be safe, am going in about an hour to have my throat swabbed. Jeez! Could I please get a break. I had to stay home an use what have now become very precious vacation days...since my sick time is long gone. My son made me call his dad to see if he would stay home with him. Of course he said he couldn't...which is what he ALWAYS says. Sadly, I can put on a tiara, but it has little effect at my house.
I actually have PLANS for both days this weekend. It will be the last weekend my son will be at his dad's before my surgery 4/11 and I was planning to go to a TKD tournament tomorrow in Hayward (not San Jose, like I thought Alexandra) and dinner at a friends' home. I will need to skip Saturday at least if I test positive for strep, so think good thoughts!
Mary - It is wonderful to hear you sounding so strong, in spite of all you went though this week. Good for you for doing your exercises. I just know you will turn the corner soon!
Laurie - Have FUN on your trip, and try to relax. You have earned it and the sunshine will make things seem so much better!
Michelle - You are so sweet, always taking time to encourage the rest of us, when you have been fighting longer and harder than most of us will ever have to. You constantly inspire me. I do hope the radiation isn't too bad. Many, many, many hugs to you!
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Diane,
I hope you were able to get out this weekend and have some fun.
As for your question about implants, if you haven't already you should check out the Breast Implant Sizing 101 thread with whippetmom. Just read the intro for her instructions, and she will help you determine what you need. She is very knowledgeable and well-known for her expertise on this subject. She's great about getting back to you right away. You can email her pics, or some women have opted to post on the picture forum to help other women going through reconstruction. I have mine posted under the name "boobyprize." Not that they look that great or anything, just hoping to get some feedback or if it help others, that's even better.
Although I've been in contact with whippetmom, I've decided to leave the implant model and size decision up to my PS and not worry about it. In general I'm going with saline and I believe he uses Allergan / Natrelle. My TE's are Allergan 133MX-15-T's that have a capacity of 700cc's. I'm filled to 570cc's (was orginally 590 grams before BMX) but am stopping there because I feel HUGE. I plan to have fat grafting at the time of exchange to help fill in the upper portions.
Hope this helps!
~Mary
Oops, I meant to say silicone, not saline implants.
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Hi Mary: I tested negative for strep, so I'm good to go. They gave me a prescription just in case, and told me not to kiss anyone or share a fork! LOL...not a problem.
I am looking into the photo forum (I'll PM you if I get in and post any photos) and will check out the sizing thread, although, like you, I'm going to go with my PS's recommendation on sizing and shape. He told me at the start that he'll be doing fat grafting, farming some fat from my stomach (guess that's one benefit of the weight gain, since I have plenty now). I think I want silicone, mainly because of TKD. I had thought gummies, because they maintain their shape, even if they break, so if they fail, you can schedule surgery, whereas, when sailne rupture, you have to act NOW, since you immediately deflate. This is less of a problem for people who don't plan to get kicked in the chest.
Anyway, what I found under the gummy bear thread is that they are really hard, and I really HATE these TE bricks I'm sporting now, so am leaning in the direction of cohesive silicone. This is a really personal decision for everyone. For me, since I don't have a supportive and caring DH in my life, and hope to find someone in the future, I want to do my best to get the most natural result possible. I'm sure my PS will have lots of info, but I don't get another shot at this, so am trying to get as educated as possible before I see him.Now I'm off to go see one of our blackbelts go kick some bootie at the Tournament!
Happy Saturday everyone!
Diane.
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Awesome - have fun! I'm going out tonight for dinner with friends - first time since my surgery! Whoohooo!
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Just so you ladies know,
I have had my silicone implants for since 1988. They have weathered a lot during all those years. Falls, punches, running into things, the dog nailing me at a full tilt run several months ago. AND they are still standing. BS said they looked just fine, not to fix something that isn't broken unless I wanted to go bigger. I opted to keep them. If I had the money I think I would have had new one's put in and the fat grafting...but DH says they look great so that is enough for me.
We bought all of our herb plants and tomatoes and hot hot peppers today......yay!...however we have been under a tornado warning all afternoon so we will plant tomorrow.
Glad you didn't have strep Diane have fun at the tourney.
Mary, wow you got a lot accomplished in one day.
have a great weekend everyone uh oh here comes the storms again...eeeeeek
love
Eve
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Diane,
Glad to hear you don't have strep!! I have a staph infection on my neck!!! I'm like wth!! Can't catch a break. The antibiotic they gave me wasn't working... They just called to tell me it's resistant to the antibiotic they gave me and prescribed something else. I called my ps to let her know. She said I should be fine, just start taking the new antibiotic.
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Sisters,
Have you read the book, "The Silver Linings" by Holly Jacobs? She has been on the talk show circuit I was told but have not seen her. Breast cancer survivor. My Muay Thai instructor gave it to me as a gift this week. HE had heard about the book, purchased it and thought I would find some comfort in it. I believe I have.
This has been an extremely emotional week for me. Probably the most emotional since the days following diagnosis. I am looking for my silver linings each day.
Today, I said goodbye to my DD as she heads on what was supposed to be our mother daughter trip for her senior year of high school with several families to the Dominican Republic. I cried all evening last night and most of today trying to hide from her and my DH. My silver lining? I have trust in my daughter to spread her wings and it gives my DH and me time alone to begin to adjust to not having dd around when she is in college come fall.
My aunt called me Thursday to tell me she has joined our pink ribbon club. My silver lining? I am not in the Dominican next week so I can join her at her doctor appointments so she doesn't feel so alone.
Work has been stressful and busy since going back two weeks ago and having many big meetings. Silver lining? I have had good support from everyone even if I am tired of all the "looks"
Found out my oncotype score, filled out consent forms for Rx PONDER clinical trial and now waiting and waiting and waiting to find out which arm I will be in. Chemo or no chemo. Silver lining? Whichever arm I am randomized to I know that I will be part of important research for the sisters behind us.
Eve, if you have a special tiara for the emotionally challenged I sure could make good use of it!
Bc101 so hoping you have a great dinner with friends tonight!
Glad no strep for Diane. I haven't figured out which implants yet but want to go with silicone. I have 1-2 fills left to go and need to spend some time researching so I can ask my ps the right questions but will probably go with whatever he and his wife (his nurse) recommend. I know I will be smaller than I was which is what I want. Last time I saw him he wanted me to start thinking about how much ptosis I want. I have quite a bit of extra skin that can be used for the droop or he excise it. I am not sure I want much ptosis for the new girls. Those days are long gone.
Mommy at home, I can tell from your posts on this thread and others that you are getting stronger and finding your voice. You go girl!
Sorry for the long post. Wishing you all a good weekend.
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Ann - Big hugs to you! I'm going to order Silver Linings and read it while I'm home after my surgery. There are so many instances were there are silver linings, if we just look for them. So sorry your aunt is joining us, but very glad you can be there for her.
Beverly - Wow...staph?! I had one of those a few years ago, and it's not fun. Hang in there girl! I bet you never thought you would be so tough. I'm sorry you have to be, but MMTA girl is right, you are getting stronger.
Eve - thank you for helping me feel better about choosing silicone. I love that you are planting things now. I hope you don't get blasted with the storm!
BTW, I slept 9 hours straight last night and woke up feeling really good. I had a fantastic day with one of my best friends watching the tournament with martinis and Chinese food afterward. I was just another person in the crowd, not BC girl for a change, and it was wonderful!
It was cold and raining all day...and I'm aching all over from sitting on hard bleachers for most of the say, so I can literally hear my bathtub calling.
I hope everyone gets sleep tonight!
Diane.
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for you Ann,
remember you are loved
I remember having to le my boys go....is hard, but when you see them take charge of their lives it is awesome....and you know you did a good job.
gotta go plant
ttyl
Eve
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EVe, the tiara will work beautifully for me. It's perfect. Thank you !
My silver lining for today: just got back from mass with my DH. The sermon was about healing and faith and my oncologist was sitting in the same pew. I took it as a powerful and positive sign. I will be healed and I am not afraid.
Blessings and hugs to you all on this sunny Sunday.
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Well..like I said, up one day and down the next. I woke up with a sore throat and by the afternoon realized my lymph nodes were swollen and I have white spots on my tonsils. Yep, I got my sons strep throat! I went and got my Z-Pak right away.
I guess the silver lining is that this happened soon enough that I can get through my 5 days of antibiotics before my exchange surgery that is now only 12 days away. I will have to go to work, but since I'm not caughing, and by 2 pm it will be 24 hrs on antibiotics, so I will officially be non-contagious anyway. Not the best way to start the week.
Slow calming breaths. It will be okay. Sigh.
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Happy Monday everyone!
Diane, what a bummer! Hope u get well fast!
I've been up and down, too. Yesterday was gorgeous - almost 60 degrees!! I sat outside in a lawn chair to soak up some vitamin D and it felt so good! Today is BLAH - grey, rainy. I know I must have SAD (seasonal affective disorder) as my mood goes up and down depending on the weather. Today it was really hard to get out of bed.
Laurie, hope you're on the beach and soaking up some rays. I should do that very same thing.
I went out to dinner with friends last weekend and wow - that was a lot harder than I thought it would be. We had to wait in line at a crowded, noisy restaurant and it was just exhausting. My friends had just gotten back from a 2 month trip down south and were full of stories to tell. It was hard to keep up. I looked over at my DH at one point and he looked the same way I felt! We both couldn't wait to get home and just relax.
Good news is that my colonoscopy came back okay. Yipee!
No appts. this week - yay! I'm taking a Yoga class for cancer survivors on Thursday. And hoping to get the energy to do some spring cleaning. That's about it.
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I found out Saturday that I definitely DON'T have the stamina I did last year. My daughter had four softball games (I work the dugout) and the last one didn't get over until almost 11pm. I felt like I'd run a marathon. Backwards. On my knees. LOL I slept until 10:30 yesterday and didn't get off the couch to take a shower until after noon.
Hopefully I will find out early this week when rads will start. I'm ready to get this show on the road.
I have some pain sort of behind my left TE today. I have no feeling on my chest, so I'm guessing it's behind it on the chest wall? If I push on the area where the TE port is, it hurts in the back. I don't know if I slept on it which put weird pressure there or it's something else. I just hate the way that whole side feels. It's so TIGHT (not the skin, just everything underneath) and I feel like there's a spiderweb in there holding it in place. I don't know.... hard to describe I guess. I can just imagine how wonderful it will be after rads!
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Sorry girls....I'm feeling I'm better not to say anything right now....cause I would just be complaining....and I'm tired of complaining ALL the time.
Our trip is booked....we leave Friday for Cozumel. Maybe that's what I need.
Maybe I'll post a new pic....of a happier me when I get back.
Still reading your posts....but I just can't seem to find the energy to post. You are still all in my thoughts everyday.
Laurie
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Michelle,
Wow, sounds like you could really use some downtime! I'm sure with radiation treatments coming up, it's going to be even harder not to overdo it, especially with so much going on with your kids. You'll have to call a lot of "timeouts"!
Hope you can get your pain issue resolved. Never hurts to call your doc and ask. I know you're far away from your clinic, like I am, but I don't ever hesitate to call. This morning I called my RO that I met with last Dec. Last weekend I'd read of a recent study that says women with 1-3 nodes would benefit from radiation after MX. I kind of freaked out after reading it. I trust the opinion of my docs, but when you read new studies like that, well, it's scary. You start to wonder, maybe should I have done it....? Yesterday I was so anxious my stomach did flip flops and I was almost physically ill. She reassured me I had several positive features with my prognosis that influenced her decision not to treat, but I still don't feel better about it. Just when I thought I was getting to a place where I was feeling good emotionally and psychologically....WHAM! Here I go again...
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Laurie, wishing you a restful and relaxing trip to Cozumel. I am sure the sunshine and tropical breeze will do your soul good.
Michelle, I don't think any of us have the stamina we had before and you have soooo much going on. Good luck with rads.
Diane, sorry to hear about the strep. Can't imagine that on top of everything else. Hang in there!
My silver linings of the day: got my last fill of 100cc each today and feeling good. Heard from my onco and paperwork is still in limbo. Yet another week until I will know on chemo. Arghhh! But, I decided to book a flight to Florida tomorrow and visit my parents for a few days. I need a serious mental adjustment so I will consider the trip a silver lining. Eve, I have no idea where in Florida you are but I will be sending positive vibes your way! Keep the sunshine for me!
Hugs,
Ann
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bc101, congrats on the clean colonoscopy. On the 1-3 positive nodes my MO said no need for rads with mastectomy as long as the cancer didn't penetrate the wall of the lymph node.
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Hi all,
Laurie, have an awesome time...may I add I am sooooo jealous lol OH, and I wanna see the fancy bandeau bikini top! must be nice....my bod would be hilarious in that. You go girl. Enjoy!!!!
I get to go camping...yes in a tent, in June or July....sigh...it is such a guy thing. Oh well we will be on the beach....so not half bad.
Yay, Mary for a good polyp report....one more thing too not worry about. I know what you mean by getting tired very quickly. We try to discount the surgery and all, but I really think we have been through the ringer and need to give ourselves a break.....preaching to the choir but it is true!
Michelle....you out do all of us....I am calling you the energizer bunny from here on out. I know you are trying to keep everthing "normal" for your family...but get a good soak in a hot bubbly tub would ya.
Ann, where are you heading to down younder? I am in Apopka, Orange County, near.....well near Orlando. love to meet you....I'll Pm you with my cell#. I used to love going to mass. It has been a long time. It can be very comforting.Yes?
Diane, so sorry about the strep...yukk. Hope you are on the mend.
As for me...went to see BS today...all is healing nicely...Again (perhaps ad nauseum) I kept my nips. She had been afraid I would loose the one on the cancer side.....but It made it...applaud!! She said because I quit smoking I was able to keep it....yay me!!! On the whining side I feel worse now than I did right after surgery. I am getting Ativan....hate drugs, but if it helps....ok
Silver lining......BS is sending me to a naturopath/md a holistic clinic. I checked the place out on the web. I just SMILED. wow and wow. All the people there are MD's. They all are traditionally trained but chose to add their expertise to the non-traditional eastern holistic approach.
Yoga, acupuncture, chiropractic, hormone balance, diet, massage, mind body stuff....can't wait to get there. It is named the SaJune Institute....for restorative and rejuvenative medicine . Normaly I wouldn't go to a place like this , however, my BS is recommending it so I feel ok and excited about it. maybe I'll get botox...lol
Anyway...I just want to feel better and get my mojo back......
love you ladies
peace,Eve
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Sorry have not posted. So tired and feeling down. Infection in breast not getting better so on IV antibiotics now. 6 weeks of pain and fatigue is getting to me!
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Oh Linda, I'm sorry. I hope you start feeling better soon. Many warm hugs to you.
Thanks ladies for your well wishes. Strep throat seems to be gone. Two more days of antiibiotics.
Having bad pain in my elbow on BC side. Like really bad tennis elbow. Not sure if it's related to surgery or tkd. I would love to go to see my acupuncturist, but can't afford it.
Laurie - have a wonderful time in Cozumel!!
more when I have time...got to get to work.
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Yeah for nips Eve.
Linda...hope things start liking up for you soon. Pain sux!
Getting harder to find time to post....we are all trying to get out and be normal.
Our close friend had a brain anorism burst on Friday....so we've been caught up with that. He's been thru a lot....but he's doing better today.
I'll have a drink for each and evey one of you when I'm on vacation....hmmmm how many will that be! LOL
Laurie
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Laurie,
Please have a Margarita - or two - for me!
And send lots of pics!HAVE FUN!!
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Pinacolada for me please supersized!
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Laurie,
Malibu and pineapple for me!!! Enjoy
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