January 2014 Surgery Sisters
Comments
-
((hugs)) Diane
0 -
Diane,
((((hugs)))))to you. You will do fine with the exchange on Friday and your TKD family will always be there for you...as will the testing. Deep breaths and one day at a time. We will all be thinking of you this week. Take care!
0 -
Hi ladies,
Just curious. Do they empty the tissue expander to take it out during the exchange?? Or do they remove it filled?
0 -
Has lumpectomy Jan. 2, 2014 and re-incision Jan 21, 2014. Have had 3 chemo treatments but am still having breast pain and now I noticed that breast is pink and warm to touch. Oncologist gave me one round of antibiotics three weeks ago but just said it was normal to have pain and swelling for a long time. Has anyone else had this or should I be worried?
0 -
Just had my fill. So I am now at 600cc on left and 550cc on right. My next fill is on April 22 and my plastic surgeon said at that appt we will schedule my exchange!!!! I've never been so excited to schedule a surgery lol. She said she would probably bring in a 650, 700 and 750 implant. We will hopefully talk more about which style at the next appointment.
0 -
Hi Ann: Thank you. I was having such a low day. Things got better with sleep...as they always do, and class last night and tonight with my TKD family really helped. Of course it is the journey that matters most, not the destination.
Hi Beverly - I don't know if they empty the expander before they take it out, but that would make sense. It could be how they keep the incision so small. Maybe they just roll it up after it's empty...pretty slick, right? I know just how you feel about getting the exchange on the calendar, because I felt the same elation. Check out the "Exchange City" and "All About Gummies" threads. There is a lot of info in there. I felt better prepared to talk to my PS about what I wanted after doing some internet research and reading what some of the ladies had to say.
mycody - I don't know what is normal after a lumpectomy, but I would think that while the pain might be normal, but because of the redness and heat, I would go see your BS or PCP and make double sure that there is no infection. I would want someone to actually examine me, rather than telling me that it's okay over the phone. Good luck and hugs!
Eve - Thank you for the hug...I needed it.
I think I'm going to need a tiara for Friday. Can you hook me up?!(((Hugs))) to all!
Diane.
0 -
morning all,
I too had a couple of down days. So strange isn't it? You can be truck'in along , thinking "well now, I think I've got this thing beat" Then BC decides to slap you upside the head with a little reminder. Oh well....onward and upward.
I have been playing with my new Apple smart phone...boy do I feel dumb.....it is my first smart phone....big learning curve, but its so much fun.
I am going out today, YAY, My friend and I are hitting the local fancy nursery. They have plants galore. It is going to be a perfect Florida spring day' can't wait.
Mycody, for what its worth I would insist that you be seen. Diane's right it sounds like an infection could be developing. Take care.
wow, mommy almost done, you sound like you are feeling better.
Diane, sleep is a cure all. I know when I take that little Ativan and rest I feel like a different person in the morning.
Your exchange is going to go well. I bet you are getting excited. I find you the perfect tiara.
gotta go....the plants are calling..
love
Eve
0 -
Hi girls,
Found out today that I will be starting chemo after all. I am in arm 1 of the RxPonder clinical trial. Meet with my oncologist on Monday to understand what regimen I will have and all the details. Any words of wisdom if any of you have already been through this are welcome!
Good luck tomorrow with your exchange, Diane! Hope it all goes smoothly. We will be waiting for an update. I guess, I will have these turtle shells attached to me until sometime this summer :-(.
Silver lining? I have a plan and I wont have to wear a bra for a few more months. The camis work just fine :-)
0 -
mmtagirl, you sound aok with the chemo...good for you. I will goggle the trial as I am very interested in knowing more.
For some unknown reason I can't even get the MO I have been referred too to call me? Oh well, going with the flow here.
Diane, here is your new tiara, I thought it was representative of spring, pretty, and renewal, something new and growing...moving forward. Hope you like it.
Mary, hope all is well. Miss you...the weather seems to be getting better there, so maybe you are out and about? Or did you fly down to Cozumel?
The trip to the nursery today was lovely. There is a butterfly house at the nursery that also keeps finches and quail. A school bus full of 1st graders were on a field trip. Oh my, so cute and bratty and smart at the same time. The Monarch butterflies will come and drink Gatorade out of your hand. so neat.
We have the butterflies in our garden, last year I was able to get videos of the caterpillars making their chrysalis and then emerging, amazing . One butterfly emerged with a wing that was turned backwards....it couldn't fly so I fed it flowers and Gatorade for two weeks. They don't Iive much longer than that so I was a privileged to help it. Call me crazy...lol Just a day in the life......without thinking of BC!
I bought a fantastic hat and seeds for lemon balm and stevia, crooked neck squash and black zucchini plants.
Hope you don't mind me telling you about my mundane day......it is my therapy.
Love to you all,
be well
Eve
0 -
mmtagirl - I went through chemo, so once you find out what regimen you'll be on, I can give you more advice!
0 -
Eve I love hearing about your day. If you lived close we could do coffee
So infection in radiated breast is getting better, pain is way less.
Heard from my MO and they want me to have the ovaries and tubes out. Already had the uterus.out 5 years ago. So without my girl parts, foobs and short hair I think I get to use both bathrooms when out in public!!
Linda
0 -
Linda...ROTFLMAO
but do you really want to be in their bathroom ? ewwwweeeeee
love to have a coffee or two with you and so glad you are healing.
Eve
0 -
I have noticed that the chemo makes my surgical scars red and tender, and causes "zings" like pins and needles in the breast.
0 -
Hi all,
I haven't been online for awhile. Been trying to work through some issues... Also, I don't have much to say, but I've been enjoying reading all your posts.
Eve - yes, that's true, the weather is finally getting warmer here and that helps a lot! Hmmm, Cozumel - if only! Can't wait for things to start turning green again!! Everything is still pretty brown and dead-looking. If I sent a pic of my garden right now it would be pretty lame. Love your birdbaths! I can't do much for gardening yet, but I went bicycling yesterday and that was the most fun I've had since I can't remember when. I love hearing about your "mundane" days - they sound absolutely wonderful!
Diane - how exciting to be doing your exchange tomorrow! Good luck! I'm sure you'll do fine. Mine isn't scheduled until July 24th. Oh well, at least it'll be in time for my birthday.
Linda - oh no, more surgery just when you thought you were done! Does this mean you will be taking an AI instead of Tamoxifen?
Ann - how exciting to be a part of a trial. You will get very good care, I'm sure. My BS at Mayo is the study co-chair for the BEAUTY study here in MN - here's the info in case anyone is interested http://mayoresearch.mayo.edu/center-for-individua... Dr. B is an awesome surgeon. I just love her!
mommyathome - I love your inquiring mind. Be sure to check out Exchange City if you haven't already. The Breast Implant 101 thread is a great place to hangout, too. So many awesome, knowledgeable, and dedicated women are on this site!
mycody - welcome! I had a lumpectomy and a re-excision, too, but didn't experience anything like you described. But I did have a terrible rash and some other icky stuff like fluid build-up or something (sertoma?) They found it several weeks later in an MRI when I changed providers. I'd insist on being seen as it doesn't sound normal to me. But what do I know - I'm not a doc.
I'm so proud of all my surgery sisters! Not that long ago we were writing about overwhelming pain, fear, dread, paralyzing anxiety, angst, and many other horrible side effects of major surgery. And now you girls are out bowling, planting gardens, flying to warm climates, and organizing softball leagues. WOW is all I can say! I'm so happy for each and every one of you! Of course we're still not entirely healed, but we've come a long way, don't ya think?
Love,
Mary
0 -
Michelle - I will let you know my protocol on Monday. Thank you!
Eve, I talk a good game. Lol! I am numb at the moment and expecting the free fall will come Sunday or Monday. But, I am trying really hard to stay positive. Btw, I really think you need to write a book. You have such an engaging gift for words. I am sure we could all give you some interesting topics to include in your book.
BC - wish I was that noble but to be honest the only reason I am in the trial was to try to avoid chemo. I figured a 50/50 chance and my onco wouldn't Go without chemo unless I was in the trial. My 18 year old daughter thinks it's cool that I am doing the trial to help support the women behind us. All because of one damn lymph node surprise!
Ok, let's all give a big (((hug))) to Diane for her big day tomorrow!
Love,
Ann
0 -
ps. Mary, thanks for sharing your name! Eve will be so proud:-)
0 -
Thinking of you tomorrow Diane! {{{{hugs}}}}
0 -
Thank you Mary, Ann and Michelle! Eve, I love my tiara! Purple is my favorite color!
Linda, I truly believe things happen for a reason, and you will come out of this in a much better place, but seriously, stay out of the men's room...it stinks in there!
I had a great class tonight, and am feeling good about tomorrow...so let's do this!
I love you all and will send you a drug-induced message sometime tomorrow, letting you know how it went!
Hugs back to all of you!
Diane
0 -
Thinking about you today, Diane!!! Let us know how it went
0 -
Wow, feeling pretty down this morning and beating myself up about not be able to go back to work and how that decision is going to affect my family in the upcoming months.
I just got word from my superintendent that even though it says in the contract u are only allowed 45 days after you use all your sick days (I'm a first year teacher do I started this year w 15, I had 6 days left when I left on January 28 for my bilateral mastecomy on January 29) that she is willing to ask my colleagues if they'd like to start a sick bank for me and donate their days. I'd need like 45 days collected to be paid throughout the rest of the year. The thing is, with the first 45 days that I already used and the days that I hope to collect, I've had to pay my own sub. So, yes I'll be collecting but it will be like 400 dollars on average every two weeks (so 200 a week). I'm grateful for anything I can get, but wow this makes paying bills very difficult. If I were to go back now, because I've used all my days I couldn't take even one day off. If I got an infection, or needed a full etc I couldn't take a day without being in violation of the contract. That just doesn't seem practical I can't take the chance. I'm not done w fills yet, I've had two infections already, I have drs appts etc etc etc. I know staying out the rest of the year is the right choice right now but how can I get past feeling like I'm letting my family down? Will we have money to go on vacation, put a new liner in the pool, pay to go to my sons baseball tournaments???? Omg I'm so overwhelmed and feel like a wimp not going back! People go back weeks after a BMx!!! Why couldn't I?? The other thing that is on my mind is the superintendent said we want you to recover, stress free and come back 100 percent in the fall, ladies you all know that this is a process! I haven't had my exchange yet (hoping to get it scheduled on April 22 for sometime either late June or early July), the nipple reconstruction and the tatoo. I know those are less involved and require less recovery, but there is some recovery needed, right? I'm like, what am I going to have to do schedule the exchange this summer and nipples next summer??? I'm just having a very rough morning, overwhelmed and feeling alone. Thanks for letting me ramble on and vent as I really have no one else that truly understands.
0 -
Mommyathome - I can relate to a certain degree... as far as the money worries. I had to quit my job - a good one with benefits - due to pressure I was getting from my co-workers, but I shouldn't have. I was only one month from probation, but it was a case of office politics - someone in the office didn't like me, so I decided to leave. I should have let them fire me. My husband was not at all happy about it. I elected to do COBRA for insurance because I figured it had 100% coverage so no worries there, but the monthly premium is expensive. Looking back I should have gone on my husband's plan, although it was a mutual decision we made after looking at all the numbers. Each month our savings account goes down and down.... I'm just waiting until next October to get back on his insurance by next January. I hope to be done with all my surgeries by then.
My DH had to take FMLA but used up his sick time and vacation first. Fortunately his co-workers kicked in some days for him so he at least has some sick time and vacation left for himself. But I feel so guilty about it. He works so hard and has a 2 hour commute to work one way. Recently we got into a fight and I'm thinking he is stressed and feeling resentful and of course, I feel hurt.
Your fears about feeling ready to be back in the workplace are valid. Even not working I feel the fatigue - I usually feel pretty good until about 3:00, then it hits me. Some days are better than others. I think a person's emotional and psychological state has a lot to do with how quickly you recover, but everyone is different. Personally, I believe that support is sooo essential to getting well. I feel grateful to be home in order to fully recover, but at the same time, I feel so guilty that I'm not working. I'd like to start looking for at least a part time job, which I planned to do all along, but it seems overwhelming to face right now. One more thing to add to the heap, I just found out that my shoulder pain may be due to a rotator cuff injury. I'm actually feeling really good physically, but mentally I'm a mess.
Hopefully your family will get on board and make it a team effort. I know there are always so many expenses - the bills never stop. For vacations, you can get creative - what about day trips to local sites, or camping? I try to reduce spending anywhere I can, but of course it's never enough. I'm trying to rack my brains how to bring in extra cash - garage sales, selling stuff on Craigslist, consignment shops, opening an Etsy shop, bartering for services (we used to do this years ago!). Now that I have a little more energy I can start focusing on those projects. One of my goals is to find a volunteer position that who knows, might lead to a job.
For you, mommy, it sounds like your employer and co-workers are and will continue to be very supportive, so you are lucky in that respect. That's so rare in a workplace these days.
Sending (((hugs)))!
0 -
Bc101,
Thank you for your response and opening up about your experiences. Man, this whole things sucks doesn't it!!! I wouldn't worry about the vacations for me, but I have 4 kids; 11, 9, 7 and 4. My husband and I are taking them away next week for a few days to go to a casino (we were offered 2 free nights) they have an arcade and pool etc. my parents also gave us family passes for an aquarium that's like an hour or so from the casino so we will go there for free.
Yes, I feel blessed that my co workers and administrators are being so supportive for me to take the time to recover.
My parents are also taking one of my kids each month in the summer to myrtle beach sc (my son is leaving tomorrow during his spring break) so that helps. I just feel bad that I have to say no all the time because of money not being available. With me being home we decided to withdraw my daughter from daycare also do that will save some money.
Bc101, we both need to keep our heads up and recover!! When I'm feeling alone and that I'm letting my family down or struggling I'll think of you. When you are feeling alone, or down think Of me. We are not alone!!! I have to keep telling myself that! It's not just me finding myself in this situation. It helps to talk to others who understand, thank you!!!!!
0 -
You know, I just deleted a bunch of my personal misery, because I didn't feel that it would help anyone feel better about their personal situations.
I wish I had a magic wand to fix every thing...hmmmm to go along with my tiara , perhaps?
Beverly, it sounds as if you are inching towards solutions for your particular situation. I know you can make life happen in a way that will benefit you and your family. Can you work 4 days a week and on the 5th day do your fills and doc appointments? That way you only have to pay a sub for one day? Or is it ? you just aren't ready to go back at all? Try 2 or 3 days? I don't know how it works? Just throwing things out there.
Mary, I understand that hurt too. Sometimes DH doesn't understand why at times I feel super OK and then the next day I am scared as hell again. Can't say I understand a gosh darn thing myself. But, coming from an abusive back ground...meaning...no security, no trust , YEARS of therapy and anti-depressants ....the one thing I have learned is ...I GET TO FEEL WHAT I FEEL! PERIOD. I don't have to make apologies for being scared or crying at the drop of a hat. If I feel something that I back away from...intuitively...then that is ok.
So translated into effing Breast Cancer.........
The really difficult thing for me
no chemo
no hormonals
Stage 1
grade 2
oncotype 11
no nodes
BMX
biopsy= ADH...not cancer...yet
MRI= birads 5
diag mammo= birads 0
Ultra sound= birads4
Here's the deal... IF I had listened to anyone in this process....I would have walked away thinking all I had was some pre pre pre cancer cells....
in the end all 6 tumors were invasive.
Lesson Listen listen to your heart...listen to what you are saying to yourselves.
If you need time take it.
My bills ended up being ...over $70,000 but I was able to negotiating them down to $5,000
Ask for what you need...accept it when you get it. Don't let go of the wonderful women that you all are we have not changed...maybe a little....BC has no right, no place , no power over us.
The cup HAS to be half full....it just has too
love
call me crazy
but ...you never know when something really crappy can turn into something FABULOUS.
0 -
Diane,
Are you home....hope all is well! Can't wait to hear from you.
Ok
Laurie, did you really take a huge vacation...really want some pics.
Ann, I read about your trial. Sounds as if they are starting to use the oncotype dx for node positive women. Bravo to you for becoming part of the trial. Let us know how things progress.
Michelle, really miss your input. how are you doing? Is your daughter kicking butt in softball? I know her mama is. How is DH's tounge doing. I still cringe at the thought.
linda...why is it so easy for docs to just want to take more stuff? seems lazy to me....I mean really?....oh gosh don't get me started...lol
Planted my black zucchini and crooked neck squash today. Also added some lemon Balm seed and Stevia seed. We'll see. Yum yum
have "the boy" my stepson this week end......I'll try and keep up.
love you fabulous ladies
Eve
0 -
Eve - thanks for checking on me. I read every day but rarely have the energy or time to post! Softball really is a full time "job" when you live in a sports-crazy state and you're a coach, board member AND parent of a player! LOL
I'm doing fine. Working twice a week and started rads Tuesday (4 down, 33 to go!). Radiation makes me WAY more tired (already!) than chemo ever did.... but I think I'm also doing a lot more. With chemo, I knew I would be down for the count, but with rads I'm kinda just doing what I do, you know? But I'm sleepy all the time. Yesterday I left work to go to rads & on the way back, I had to close my eyes at every red light. LOL
I hope Diane made out ok today. Thinking about her.
Hubby and I had a rough weekend. We never fight (and I mean never) and it got to the point where he wasn't speaking to me. I know a lot of it is my moods from hormones (chemo put me into menopause and now I'm on tamoxifen so everything is screwy), and part of it is just the stress of the last 8 months building up and he's not exactly a talk about your feelings kind of guy. So everything came to a head over something stupid. But at least we finally discussed things and I think we're back on track. He even said that he felt like I was pulling away from him and I was like, "ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!? Why didn't you say something?" He said he didn't want to know. :-( I told him he's my rock and I need and want and love him now more than ever, but sometimes with this journey I have to be selfish and I can't worry about anyone else, even him. Yikes. It was a reminder to not get so wrapped up in what *I'm* feeling because I'm definitely not alone.
0 -
Mommyathome - Okay, sounds like a deal! I often think of you and all the other women on this thread. We all have our moments, or days, or months, in some cases....
Yes, we are most definitely not alone. I just ran into a dear friend of mine at the grocery store and had a nice chat. I really miss that. It reminded me that there are people out there - that I really do have good friends who are close by, but they may be going through their own crisis. I feel like we are all just coming out of our cocoons here in MN and rediscovering "life without winter!" Day by day, things are greening up and looking better and better all the time:)
0 -
Eve,
I ask myself that question daily... Sometimes a few times. (about going back to work). I really need to focus on putting my emotions back in check, identifying the new me and getting stronger and further along the reconstruction process. I think once I get to speak with the counselor at the cancer center, get a routine exercise program going and schedule my exchange I will feel more complete and less... Well lost. I try to be strong for my family (but then again I feel weak because I'm not working to being in money) and then cry myself to sleep at night at least a few days a week once everyone else is asleep.
I just feel like I lost so much to this damn disease! My drive and dedication to my job, my family and myself. It's a vicious circle and I want to stop it. I need to just get to the point where I say ( and make sure my husband is on board w me) ok in only going to make this amount of money, let's construct a budget and live by it. I'm doing this divi can be healthy and strong gor my family. This is temporary and damn it cancer won't win!!! I might have lost round one but I'm coming back strong in round 2! I need to get to that point and I know I will. I just need to give myself the time to get there.
0 -
Wow, seems like I post something and then WHAM there's all these other posts I missed, lol! What's up with that?
Just wanted to say thanks for sharing, Michelle and Eve - it's reassuring to know that I'm not the only one that has clashes with the DH. I'm hoping this will blow over, but you never know....
Eve, I totally agree with you on following your heart. We are all so unique and different and no one, absolutely no one can tell you the right thing to do. This I will always believe. And wow, your negotiating skills are way impressive! That's awesome!
The ups and downs, the highs and lows - that's what really gets me about this cancer s____. Maybe it will eventually flatten out so that there isn't so much of an extreme, ya think?
0 -
Hi Eve. I dont know how much treatment would have been if i did not live in Canada.
I had chemo, rads, DMX, alloderm, tamoxifen so think i must be worth 200,000 by now.
Yes the mood thing is weird. It seems people get stupider but it is i who is less tolerant lol
0 -
Linda, you are my hero! You must be worth a million in American or Canadian dollars. Eh?
Being from Michigan, in my wild and foolish days, I used to pretend I was Canadian at 2 am at the local Taco Bell. Anything for a laugh or a discount". That was a million years ago.
I am so inspired by you girls. I find all of you so amazing!
0
