January 2014 Surgery Sisters
Comments
-
Thanks marissa!!!!!
0 -
I called my MO here in Fl this morning and she gave me the number for PT. She said to wait till at least 3pm to call, because the Dr hasn't had a chance to sign the orders yet, but they should be there by then.
Anne
0 -
Girlstrong is right. I've had 2 months of PT and I'm moving great! When I first started I was so stiff and the day after the testing/measurements I was worse. But then, she started the lymph massage and helping me with gentle exercising. Now I can vacuum and other things that I'd never thought I'd do again! I'm not swimming a lot yet, but she showed me some movements with my arms I can do in the pool without over straining them. Please go Anne! My BS or MO said nothing about PT. My PS didn't think I needed it when I first mentioned it. I only knew about it from reading on BCO. Finally, when I complained to him after the exchange he wrote the prescription to go. He just renewed it. It does help!
0 -
Glad to hear it, Anne. Ya know, it never ceases to amaze how much this part of after care is lacking. PT after breast surgery, I mean....Plus the quality of care varies so much. Polly it seems like you've had good care. And girlstrong - you're a PT?? Wow, I could have used you. I've been having a lot of problems finding the right therapist. But who knows how I ended up with this frozen shoulder. If it weren't for that, I think I'd almost be able to forget I had cancer.
Good News: my pre-op with PS and other appts. went well yesterday. I found out I am getting "gummy bear" implants! I'm really excited as I've heard good things about them as far as upper pole fullness which is what I really need.
Bad News: in talking to my DH while driving home, he finallysaid - after I asked AGAIN about what he thinks about the foobs - is that he prefers small, hard breasts (kind of like when he first met me). In other words, these bodacious boobs are going to waste on him (my words, not his). I was shocked. Apparently I had misread his subtle cues. I had asked him many times during this process - after each fill which he sat in on - about what he thought. But he's always said do what I want, that he didn't care because he's not a "boob man," so I did what I wanted as far as size. I was going for some cleavage which I've never really had. But what he really meant, apparently, is that he doesn't like big boobs. Mine aren't big - I'm at 570 cc's which is a little larger than before. I guess we both had good intentions, just not very good communication. Oh. My. God. So what does that really mean? That I'm too old for him? I'm just kind of pissed off with him right now, so...whateve.... I joked that if anything happened to him, I needed some great assets to find another husband, lol!
Oh well, onward and upward. Life goes on...
Looks like gorgeous weather is headed our way this week. I'm gonna do laundry, pack my bag and head up north to go swimming.
Take care!
Mary
0 -
Hi everyone
I checked at 3pm yesterday and the Rx has not been sent to the rehab place. But my grandson's friend's mom is a certified therapist, both with regular therapy and LE therapy. She is connected to Cleveland Clinics, but actually comes to your home. She had come by once before we went to Ga., but was on vacation last week when we got back. I called the MO's office this morning and asked them to fax her an Rx. She said, LE-wise, I don't have a lot of fluid, but the tissue is getting hard, so she is going to wrap me, probably for about two weeks to take care of that, and she already gave me one exercise to do for range of motion. She said she feels bad charging my insurance because we are "friends", but I feel if it is a "business" arrangement, it will be more consistent than if she just drops by when she has time. Besides, she's a professional, offering professional services- that's what insurance is for.
My SIL, who lives with me was admitted to the VA hospital yesterday with a herniated disc in his back. Last nights MRI confirmed the problem but didn't say if it is the same one he has already had 2surgeries on or a new one. He served in both Iraq and Afghanistan as an IED searcher. Hope he finds out more today and they can help him. If it is the same disc, his only options are another surgery that will either fuse it, or implant an electronically device, similar to a pacemaker.
Anne
0 -
Hi everyone. I haven't been able to check in lately.... I've read through the posts but couldn't begin to remember everything.
What a whirlwind it's been. We were in NY for two weeks visiting my parents, and we did SO MUCH. I swear I need a vacation from my vacation. My brother said looking at our pictures on Facebook that we make upstate NY look like Disney World. Ha! It was fun, but really tiring. We were supposed to fly back yesterday, but my good friend passed away late Friday and her memorial service was yesterday. So I scrambled on Sunday trying to find flights to get us back in time. American Airlines wanted $938 PER TICKET to change our flights from Tues to Mon! Can you believe that???? That would have been almost $3000. Yikes. I ended up just buying three one-way tickets to Dallas (instead of Abilene because the funeral was in Dallas)....still almost $1200 but I couldn't NOT go. We left Monday evening and after a long delay in Atlanta, arrived in Dallas at 2am. Luckily my husband was able to take off work yesterday so he picked us up & we spent the night in a hotel before going to the service yesterday.
I have to say that not only was it heart-wrenching to go to a memorial service for a good friend, and a young mom (38) of boys my kids' ages, but to go as a cancer survivor. The whole time it just kept running through my mind that it could be me.... tomorrow, or next year, or in five years. It made me SO SAD to look down at my kids' faces and think they might feel that sadness way too soon. Most of the time I don't dwell on it and stay positive, but when I'm sitting in the church listening to my friend's 12 yr old son read a letter to his mom....yikes. Hard not to think about the fact that I had cancer, too. She fought ovarian cancer for 7 years, through two recurrences, before she finally signed up for hospice care this past January. So sad.
Anyway, I came back from NY with the cold from hell, too. I don't think I was ever this miserable with a cold all during chemo, and now in the summer? No fair!
I'll try to be better about keeping up now that I'm back home. Hope everyone is well - love to all!
0 -
So as you know I had my TAH/BSO on July 1. Yesterday was my post op. my incision was open a bit and draining for dr put some silver nitrate to help it close. Well this morning it was open again and draining so I called and got an appt. this time it was with another dr. My husbsnd had to leave work early because i havent been cleared to drive yet. I waited an hour!! In the waiting room to be seen. Then they took me into the room. I waited another 15-20 minutes. The dr, who delivered my first child came in cheery and said wow I didn't realize you had another surgery- I knew about your BMx but didn't know u were having a hysterectomy. Then she starts about estrogen and how I NEED it I'm only 41... I said no I'm not taking estrogen, my cancer was 80% estrogen positive! She says well you didn't actually have cancer, you had DCIS, that's pre cancer. Ok at this point I wanted to leave before I smacked her. I wasn't even there for this!!!! She said if they were worried about you getting cancer again they would've put you on tamoxifen and they didn't, did they? She kept going!!!! She said who are your drs? I told her the bs name and the oncologist and she said well I think they are sadly mistaken not to put you on estrogen at 41 this could effect your longevity- heart problems, bone issues.... I was like well I'm going to discuss this aspect w my cancer drs, and my gyno that did the hysterectomy. I see bs aug 7 I believe and gyno aug 19, she said well just to let you know you have to make a decision because after 3-5 years the damage will already be done and you can't introduce hormones !! Ladies I was such a mess. Here I am with a hole in my incision arguing with this dr about whether or not I had cancer and if I'm taking the right steps to live a long healthy life. I wasn't up to that!! Ugh!!!!! What the hell?!?!? Am I crazy? DCIS is cancer, yes?!?! If you have estrogen positive cancer do you take estrogen even after BMx?!? She was like well u got no boobs now why not?!? Ugh!!!!!!
0 -
My dear Michelle,
So much to digest. I am truly sorry for the loss of your friend. I am glad you were able to spend time with her, and that you posted a picture of her and you together. It's always about our children, and husbands and family isn't it? We all so want to be there for them, always and feel the goodness in our lives with them. So hard to know that our lives might be shortened by BC and yet we don't take anything or any minute for granted anymore, a true gift in a way.
It may sound crass but it is what it is. It is up to us to move on and put up a strong front even if we don't want to. I remember Rob's last 18 months. Like your friend he was ok for most of that time. The drawn out process of his journey into heaven gave me and his friends time to come to terms of losing him. It gave him time also to know how much he meant to us. So when the time came, when he was close, it was , please take him now! So he doesn't suffer anymore. You know?
You are an inspiration to me, to all of us Michelle.
Take care and live well.
love
Eve
0 -
Mary,
all I can say is your boob/foobs are and should be in the image of what you want, what makes you feel great. My implants of many years are of a high profile also. Even though the bmx took 1/2lb of tissue off of each boob when I put on a tank top with the tiny little straps it looks as if I am rockin with my foobs. Ya! Honestly I could care less about what my husband thinks about my boobs, because if I feel good then he gets to feel good...ya know what I mean..wink wink...lol.
Have a good time swimming...some cool temps comimg your way.
love
Eve
0 -
oh Michelle, you've been through an array of emotions the past couple of weeks. The highs of a family vacation to the devastating loss of a friend. The hardest part of this cancer journey is trying not to identify with those around you who may be worse off. Today , while I was getting my infusion at the chemo center, I was feeling quite accomplished. It's been a year since diagnosis and I am doing well. However, as I sat there, I saw 2 women who I knew. One was from church and the other was my sisters friends mom. I had no idea about the girl from church and the friends mom...I had heard about early on. Long story short is that they are both battling stage 3 triple negative breast cancer. The worst part is that the friends mom is now stage 4 (originally diagnosed just 9 months ago ) and the girl from church was telling me about her 8 cm tumor. Not exactly uplifting stories. To add to the emotion, I kept thinking about my other friend I met during chemo. We've kept in touch and I've recently learned she is now stage 4.....a very symptomatic stage 4 too.
Today, I had to really focus on the good that I have. I had to force myself to remember that every single person is different, every cancer is different, every treatment is different, every body is different. While I can befriend all of these wonderful women, I have to continually thank God for every.single.day and see it as a blessing. I have to ask for the strength to do this and it has gotten easier. Michelle, your doing great. You have been through so much. You are a fighter not just for you but for your family. This is your journey, try not to go to the dark thoughts because they are just that....thoughts. The truth is that your here. Your well and your living a life.
By the way, I'm super sick too. I've been on antibiotics and no improvement. MO thinks it's a nasty virus and says "it's been going around" she then went on to say that I needed a chest x-ray. Of course I kind of freaked. But she assured me that she was ruling out pneumonia. Well the results are back and are negative. Thank you God!!!
Love you ladies , now back to drinking my lemon tea. Marissa
0 -
Hi Michelle: What a week. It sounds like an emotional and physical marathon. I have a good friend who was just diagnosed with bone cancer that is incurable. She has a 10 yr old daughter and the thought of what she will have to go through is sobering to say the least. Fear is the enemy to be sure, but you clearly have what it takes to fight through it and keep your optimism.
I'm too pooped to post more...know that I love you all a do read your posts.
I found this short music video and thought all of you might enjoy it.
http://sfglobe.com/?id=1659&src=share_fb_new_1659
Love and hugs,
Diane.
0 -
Michelle - I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. My best friend's birthday was last week. She died of breast cancer over 20 years ago. She is the one who saved me by coming to me in a dream to tell me I had breast cancer. I know she is my angel friend and just knowing that she always is looking out for me - especially when I need her the most - is always very comforting to me. Take time to grieve, and remember to love and live one day at a time. That's all any of us have (((BIG HUG)))!
Beverly - wow, that doc came on really strong. I don't know anything about estrogen with DCIS. I've read that DCIS is pre-cancer, but still....
Marissa - hope you feel better soon! Hang in there!
Diane - that was a beautiful song - thanks for sharing. Made me feel better about myself. I don't have to try...and especially shouldn't have to try for my DH, right? And Eve. You are sooo right. It's all about how YOU feel.
0 -
well ladies,
I feel I owe you all an apology , especially you Michelle. I didn't mean to sound THAT insensitive. I could offer a bunch of excuses but I won't. Just hope you will forgive me and know I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. It just is not right, not at all.
Eve
0 -
Hi all,
Michelle- I can't imagine how hard that memorial service was. From reading both yours and Allyson's blogs, I know how hard she fought, but also how sure she was that her decision to stop treatment was the right one for her. As Marissa said, every one of us is different and our cancer journeys will be different, but it can't help but shake us when we meet or hear about others who are on this journey, but not doing as well as we are, at this moment. We can be as positive as possible, then get hit with the unmistakable proof that we don't know our own future. I think that is actually good, at least for me. I don't know how I would be if I knew for sure I was going to have a re- occurrence of this awful disease. The fight has been long and hard. I didn't know I had it in me to get thru all I have been thru. I choose to believe the Drs when they say my chances of it returning are less than 10%, but I still have that awful scary reaction every time I hear about someone like Allyson or Marissa's friends.
Beverly- I can't believe your Dr visit. How totally unprofessional she was and how downright stupid. Her "attack" of both your cancer and your treatment served absolutely no purpose. If she questioned your diagnosis and/or treatment, she should have discussed it with your Drs, not you. I have no idea if DCIS is considered "cancer" or "precancerous" but from being on this website for months now, I do know that it is treated like cancer, and if it is not treated when it is found, it metasticizes(sp?). To me, that distinction is semantics, not medical. And to assume she knows better than you and your team about whether or not you need estrogen is arrogant and insulting. Especially because you were not seeing her about breast cancer at all. Sorry if this comes off too strong, but I feel that all of us need all the support we can get, from everyone, and for a medical professional to "butt-in" to a situation this way is ridiculous and cruel.
Eve- I didn't find you insensitive at all. I thought you were just being Eve- sharing your experience, and offering support and sympathy as always. My sister's DH had leukemia back in the early 80's. He fought it for six long years, and continued to work full time thru it all. When he passed, my sister's best friend told her that she didn't think Margie was "grieving" enough at the viewing. When we got back to Margie's house that night, she told me and asked me if she was an awful person, because her strongest emotion was relief. They had two young children, who she had to leave with family and neighbors constantly when Pete was in the hospital, and one of her greatest fears was that he would pass out while driving, and kill someone else on the long commute he drove everyday. She knew he was not going to win his fight, and the anticipation of his death was way harder than the actual death. We likened it to an some alcoholics, who have to hit rock bottom before they confront their addiction and rebuild their lives. His death was "rock bottom" for her, finally, and now she could rebuild a new life for her and the kids. So I can totally understand your feelings about Rob.
Again, each one of us have our own journey, aNd our loved ones have theirs regarding our situations. What we feel and how we react is as individual and unique as we are. There is no one right way that fits all, whether we are the sick one or the loved one. All we can do is what we do here, listen, care and offer love and support to each one as they need it, and accept it when we are the one who needs it.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it
Anne
0 -
Thanks Anne,
You hit the nail on the head with the feelings I had. My mom had a stroke, when I was 20 yo, I had to "pull the plug". I guess I have become somewhat hardened to death. I think I have my own fight under control and then I get mad because I know I have no control over BC. Today is my 6month surgery anniversary. Still difficult moving on at times. And when I hear of everyone else still in the active fight I just shake my head and want to yell out, COULD YOU FIND A CURE!!!!!!!!! damn it.
Throw a pill at it, is what most docs do, or like Beverly have no clue whats so ever about fear and feelings. Oh well time to let go and keep moving forward.
Eve
0 -
Wonderful words, Anne. So right on. And that's a very good point you made when you said you wouldn't want to know....great way to look at it. We are all afraid and I think we can all relate to the Fear - whatever our diagnoses or our stages - we all have a risk of recurrence and that is SO damn scary!!!
I don't think you were being insensitive, Eve. You were just relating your own experience. Like Anne said, our journeys and our circumstances are all very different. When my dad had lung cancer and no chance for surviving it, I witnessed his decline and knew he would never have wanted it that way. He was a brave, proud man and he knew he was dying. For the first time ever in my life, I prayed - and I prayed every day that he would have a swift and easy death. And he did. So it was odd how I grieved his death before his passing and some family members thought I wasn't grieving or reacting correctly. I just know he was suffering and it was better for him to go and is what he wanted.
I Love all you brave women! All I know is that this site is what helps keep me going, so keep sharing your stories - happy or sad. It helps me to keep being brave, too!
0 -
Thanks Mary,
I really appreciate you sharing your story about your dad. You too Anne.
Marissa, I didn't have chemo, but I did sit with Rob when he had his for colon cancer. I found it to be an uplifting time. There were the older patients with their spouses, knitting or crocheting, or just holding hands. Younger people were on their laptops conducting business as usual. They were all really pragmatic about the whole process. Rob was loved by everybody. he was funny and kind, especially to the awesome nurses...hmmmmmm. The atmosphere was very far from being negative. It was a privilege to know such brave souls. After 8 months of chemo Rob called it quits with 4 more treatments to go. In addition to getting chemo in the cancer center he had to wear a chemo pump for 3 days.
At the year mark he was cleared to have his cat scans once a year. 2 months after that it was found he had terminal brain cancer. he also accepted that with grace. After surgery and 6 weeks of radiation, he just got on with living.
He set the bar very high for me. I keep trying to get there, just haven't quite made it yet.
Your thoughts about not identifying with other's journeys is spot on.
I hope you are feeling better.
Eve
0 -
Eve, I believe an experience like what you've been through with your husband would make one stronger ... and I do admire your strength.
Wow, Michelle, you really sparked off some emotions today!
Beverly - I hope you don't think I downplayed the seriousness of DCIS. The wording "in-situ" is significant to me. Years ago I was diagnosed with cervical carcinoma-in-situ. I was just sooooo relieved that it was found early and that they didn't consider it cancer, basically because it wasn't to the point where it was staged. So....just wanted to let you know. I was trying to be kind, but maybe it didn't come across that way.
Luv,
Mary
0 -
Anne,
My husband was pissed that the dr was even speaking to me about the cancer. I was there for a question about my incision after the hysterectomy and comes into the room questioning my teams decision about estrogen and tamoxifen! I feel I defended myself at the appointment in regard to DCIS being cancer and why we weren't doing estrogen to help w surgical menopause ( I was ER+ 80%!!). Then she went on to say well they must not be worried they didn't put u on tamoxifen.... I almost smacked her! For all the physical and emotional shit I've been through these past 8-9 months!!! Are you flipping kidding that you are going to stand in front of me with a smug look on your face and imply it was nothing???? Hell no!! My husband was like let's go. I plan to mention this appointment to my dr that did the hysterectomy and let her know how the dr questioned my team and my decision and then to make it sound like I'm jeopardizing my life by not getting on estrogen and if I don't by 3 years the damage is done and I could die young of heart disease and bone issues! Come on!! That was unnecessary! Now I'm all freaked out and worried- I don't want to die!!! With the bc diagnosis I was worried about not being here to see my 4 young kids grow up- then I was in the "clear" after the BMx. Then I waited for pathology results after TAH/BSO to be sure I didn't have ovarian, uterine etc cancer (my gram and great aunt died of ovarian). I found out that there was no cancer, nothing suspicious. I left that appt feeling like I could live again. All I need to do is heal and I can get back to life as I knew it before bc- or at least without the threat of dying!!!! This dr instilled that fear once again!!!
0 -
Mary,
I had ADH, that's pre cancer. According to my bs DCIS is non invasive cancer that is contained in the ducts. No one knows why or when the "escape" and become invasive, but they are cancer cells.
0 -
Jeez Beverly - That sounds awful. Make those doctors talk to each other and come up with a cohesive plan to deal with both the BC and the hormones. Hang in there. At least you aren't dealing with a scary diagnosis. Hugs,
Diane
0 -
Beverly,
I stand corrected. Thank you for the clarification.
So sorry you had to go through that with your doctor. You are a survivor. That much is certain.
0 -
Beverly,
poop on that doc. Rob was treated for a sinus infection (head aches) for 2 months before I called his pcp and told her I wanted a scan done in the next few hours on his brain. She poo pooed the idea and I blasted her. It was our money after all and I knew Rob better than she. So in the next 2 hours she had to call me and admit he did have a brain tumor. Bitch! his brain surgeon told me that Rob did NOT have the worst kind of brain tumor. So of course I did all of my research...well when the path came back...oh yes he did. The radiologist told us he had had paitents live for 10 years with same tumor...ya, if you keep cutting out parts of ones brain. 4 days before he died he ended up in the hospital because stupid hospice didn't know what to do with a brain tumor patient...he was getting violent and wouldn't take his meds or eat. So in hospital they had him in 4 point restraints and they didn't give him the morphine that he had been taking in large amounts for months, effectively putting him into withdrawal. Ummmmmm, no wonder he was upset, to say the least. It was insane.
It took the hospital and hospice 48 hours to figure out how to transport him back to hospice. Finally I went ballistic on everyone and got it done, he died in a few hours.
Minutes before I went into surgery, I was more scared to death than I had ever been in my life. I questioned the BMX, BS was like, well were not sure if its cancer...WHAT!!!! I was in her office a few weeks before listening to her tell me with out a doubt that I had cancer. AND, AND I had to say again that I wanted nipple sparing and implant sparing surgery if at all possible. BS wrote on her notes about that, crap! we had already discussed that. Turned out I was right that it was invasive. Who's the doc here?
Soooo I can relate so much more ineptness by people that SHOULD know what they are doing and certainly do their job with a little compassion.
I totally understand your disgust with that doc. So don't go back there, do your own research and see people you trust.
First and foremost be informed on your own, know everything you can about DCIS and estrogen, make your own informed choice.
sorry this is so long but clearly I have a LOT of issues regarding handing over my body and well being to anyone. I am my own advocate. Seems one has to be anymore.
be strong, be well
Eve
0 -
Mary,
I didn't mean to come across like a bitch- I'm sorry!!! Please forgive me. I'm just still so upset with this doctor!!! I was close to calling my bs today but decided not to. Man, she just really pissed me off and put me farther away from that positive place I was trying to get to.....
0 -
Beverly,you are not a bitch, read my post above
Eve
0 -
Beverly, I understand. No need to apologize. You had a very upsetting experience with your doc. Believe me, I get it. These are people who should be taking care of you, right? I like and trust everyone on my team, although I had one bad experience with my PS at the first appt. and ever since then, no matter how nice he is, I cannot "get over" that one time when he was inexcusably rude to me. Well, I take that back. If he does a super-nice, fantastic job on my foobs, I WILL get over it, lol!
Eve, you know more than most the importance of being your own advocate. Seems like we shouldn't have to, but you do. Your life depends on it. Period.
So....nuf said.Okay, this afternoon I smiled at everyone in the grocery store. Just for the hell of it. No one smiled back. What a bunch of crabby people!
0 -
Thanks Mary for understanding! The frustrating - or one of the frustrating things about the whole flipping things is I haven't seen this dr for like 12 years ago when she delivered my first child!!!! She had no part in discussions about my breast care or my decision to have the TAH/BSO!!!! She just happened to be available to see me because my incision opened!! She should not have said One word to me about the cancer!!!! My husband, my poor husband he puts up with my emotions, my hypochondria etc and when she started talking to me I could just his the horror in is eyes!!! I was getting to a good place.... Oh well I need to move past that. I see my ps aug 7, my gyno who did the surgery aug 19 and my bs sept 12 so I will talk to them about this whole thing. I can't wait to share this experience with true professionals, I want to see their reaction.
0 -
Beverly - that was pretty outrageous, but don't let this doc (or anyone else) take away the progress you made in finding your 'good place' and your peace of mind. Stress is not good for us. Sometimes when I'm around stressful situations and toxic people, I just have to try my best to ignore them. Stress is all around us. It's unavoidable so we have to find a way to shut it out. Easier said than done, I know! It's okay to vent here, though. That helps and we're always here if you need us.
BTW, how are you liking your foobs?
0 -
My foobs are good. They look fine when I'm sitting or standing but when I'm laying down I feel "flat" spots. Not sure what can be done if anything to fix that.... I'm happy with them though and so is hubby. Trying to decide if I want nipple and areola reconstruction or a pretty decorative tattoo. It'd be my first....
0 -
I'm at work, so have to be quick, but I wanted to pop in and tell Eve that you don't owe me an apology!! Honestly, I didn't think there was anything insensitive about what you said. {{hugs}} You are our ringleader and cheerleader all wrapped up in one honest package.
I'm still dealing with this stupid cold. Marissa - how are you? I'm drinking tea with lemon and honey and even resorted to taking Tylenol Cold & Flu. I'm not running a fever so I really don't feel like trying to get in to see the doctor.... but I'm sick of coughing and not being able to breathe.
0
