Ladies in their 40s
Comments
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I think if I were anything but a grade 3 with a positive node I would've able to deal a little better with this. My MO kept telling me not to get hung up on it but I guess I did.
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Hi Ladies,
I was diagnosed in December at 42. I was kinda waiting for the shoe to drop b/c my Mom was 48 when diagnosed. Strong family history, BRCA 1&2 negative.
My Mom was stage III, grade 3, 8/23 nodes. Prognosis was bad...odds that flew around were 50/50 for her. She was treated out of NIH in Maryland instead of home in New Orleans b/c a stronger protocol was needed and could not be administered here. She developed "non-smokers" lung cancer 10 years after her original breast cancer diagnosis...and had to have a lobe of her lung removed.
So here's the good news...that was 22 years ago...my Mom will celebrate her 70th Birthday in June...NED! She has been able to finish raising my brother and sister who were 15 and 13 at that time. She was there for my wedding and the birth of both of her grandchildren who are now 11&9.
Yes, there are very sad losses, that don't make sense...But I use the positive stories of survival to help get me through my down days. I admit, it helps that my Mom is one of those survival stories.
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Nolagril112, thanks for the info on your mom. So glad to hear you mom is doing well.!
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Guess this is best place to post. All of you inspire me! This is not an easy road to walk & I think it's so hard for loved ones to relate even when they try. Its especially hard when fluctuating hormones sweep through my brain as it tries to wrap itself around the reality of what's happened to me in only nine months. I'm not really accepting what's happened at this point in time. Yet I feel because the tumor is gone & radiation is done everyone expects life to go on as if nothing ever happened. Well not only did it happen, bit it STILL IS HAPPENING!! I have a stupid vertigo disorder, menieres disease which has palliative treatment of steroids. Until a month ago when MO (who's bout 2b fired) fussed I should never b on steroids & after reflecting I realized Ive been feeding my cancer bc I'm 97%ER 85%PR+! I wonder why no doc ever mentioned concern of steroids w menieres after pathology report as steroids are standard menieres treatment. Fussing months later only makes me feel guilty. I also have bipolar but MO never got w/ Psych doc & instead decided on his own that I can't "do" tamoxifen. I understand I'm currently stable due to the meds I'm on, yet hormone manipulation of any kind can put me at risk of a depressive or manic episode as can a med change. What about the possibility of looking into other bipolar meds w my psych doc? Ive lived with bipolar long enough to know how my body reacts to hormonal changes as well as to know that finding the right combination of meds is an art. I just don't see this working unless I have a MO willing to work with my psych doc. Therefore changing bipolar meds or taking hormone therapy makes me nervous BUT cancer recurrence makes me so much more afraid ! I can live through hormone side effects & Ive survived unpleasant bipolar episodes. I'm not willing to face a bc recurrence if I can make smart choices to prevent it! PLUS bc one time is one time too many for me! These reason behind my MO decision to not do tamoxifin was just disclosed. I thought it was bcuz I have factor v Leiden (a blood clotting factor- I know I'm getting weirder by each word you read- lol). Fact that MO didn't want to discuss bipolar w me as a professional really makes me mad! So, w out knowing all the reasons for MOs decisions I trusted & have since been thrown into menopause w monthly Zoladez & put on Arimidex. Two weeks into treatment & weird problems began. Trouble swallowing along with blacking out, severe vision loss, throwing up, very low bp & other rare SEs. ENT said not menieres related, strep or flu. MO said no way AI! 5 weeks & 8 saline bags later in his lab MO finally said adverse reaction to Arimidex. You think?!? That was 2 weeks ago. So met w nurse practitioner yesterday (prob best MO not there anyway). Said wait 2 weeks & start Aromasin. DONT like this plan! Onconotype 22 & I only had what I now call "drive by" radiation (wouldn't have done this type if I'd researched it more since I was not having chemo- prob would be ok w it if it followed chemo, but bc Ive had nothing systemic & its 9 months after dx I'm very concerned). Its the newest take on external beam where they radiate stronger but for shorter to only the tumor area then 5 additional BOOST treatments directly to tumor site. My MO keeps saying my bc was "the best kind to have". Sorry, I dont think any cancer is "best". Am I more blessed than other cancer patients. Yes. Yet at this moment I'm a mom of 2 preteens who deserve to have their mom here for all important events of their lives. My mom died of lung cancer 2 weeks b4 my 30 b'day. My children never met her. I refuse to repeat that experience for my grandchildren! I'm trying to stay positive, but I don't feel Ive had adequate systemic protection. Midway onconotype 22 = no offer of chemo. I was so ill on Arimidex for too long. Tamoxifen has been taken off table for me & I don't know if this is valid or not (see psych doc tomorrow- many questions). If Aromasin doesn't work, then what? This is 3rd MO. LOVED #1 but she left. Case was "given" to #2 & we clashed right away. At first I really liked this MO. Now, not so sure. How do you find a MO who is ok dealing w comorbid issues & communicates well w a patients other docs? I know you ladies can't answer these questions but Ive been fighting for so long w 2 comorbid health issues & now bc in addition is just wearing me down. To boot, loved ones think I'm "cured". Its only been 9 months people.... On lighter note & an interesting fact, I had elevated pregnancy hcg NOT pregnant & had Gyno Onc (in case it was ovarian related) till this week when my levels finally returned to a level 2 & I was released-YEAH! This is sometimes found in men w bc but not hardly ever in women. Gyno Once researched & other than bc said it may be an immunity from being raised with chickens, ducks, & bunnies! Livin in bayou country has lots of perks & I have to say its been these weird moments that have kept me afloat thus far!
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I feel a "bigger" hospital (e.g. research/teaching hospital) usually have better coordinated care. Is there one close to you?
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Thanks for the idea, Treelilac 😏! I'm around Baton Rouge/ New Orleans & sadly we do not have a cancer center that is close. MD Anderson in Houston TX is closest, but loved ones didn't think my lily cancer justified going there with initial dx. Doubt they will go for it because I'm disappointed & questioning current treatment. They already don't understand why I changed from 2nd MO to this one. Looking at my post, I see it is a venting novel..... I appreciate you taking the time to get through all of what I needed to get of my chest.... it meant a lot to see a reply😇. I also need to check help bcuz I put all my info in the signature area (didn't do it correctly now that I'm reading other posts) but its not showing up when I post😥
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If you go to settings, you can edit your signature but there are a limited number of characters you can put. If you answer the diagnoses and treatments sections, they will show up underneath the signature section. As for how to get to settings, I usually go from my profile and just click on the link provided there.
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Reaux--maybe you can have a group review of your case. I had a multidisciplinary meeting with surgeons, MO, and Rads doctors. Perhaps your Psych can also give input. A bigger hospital system should have a similar offer. Especially a teaching hospital. We also met with a cancer trained social worker.
For example what this hospital says--https://www.ochsner.org/services/cancer-care/
I have a cancer nurse coordinator that is my advocate and arranged testing and appointments for me called to check in on me and discuss concerns or issues
And I live outside of Detroit so not a major medical city like people would normally think of....you don't have to go all the way to Tx to MD Anderson just like I'm not going to the Cleveland Clinic 3 hrs away! And ignore your relatives opinions TRUST me they mean well but your cancer is unique to you!
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Hello all,
I am newly diagnosed IDC, (March 10th, 2016 ), after a core needle biopsy. Just had surgery last week.(April 12th, 2016). I go back this week for my post-op appointment and hopefully get the pathology results to determine next treatment plan. I will definitely do Radiation, not sure about chemo yet. I had just turned 43 at time of diagnosis. I have two wonderful sons, 9 & 11. My mom had breast cancer at 47. That was 19 years ago and she is doing great now. I underwent genetic testing due to family history. Results were negative for a genetic mutation. I kinda feel that with my age(43) and tumor size(2.1cm) that they will want me to do chemo. Waiting is hard. . #cancersucks.
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Welcome MelancholyinNC. Not a club we wanted to be a part of but you get lots of advice and people who understand what we are going through. Praying for a good path and onco score for you. I did not have to have chemo and am currently in the middle of radiation. What part of NC are you in as I am also in NC0
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welcome Melancholy....they may not require chemo if it hasn't spread. And then it depends on tumor type or targeted therapies for estrogen positive tumors etc....chemo hasn't been fun but it hasn't been as bad as I expected. It could have been worse but ask me again in 11 more Taxol infusions! I'm tired and having kids to run after and nag to do homework ugh! Mine are ~8&10ish this spring
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kbutler, I am near Winston-Salem, NC.
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I joined the club on April 3rd of this year at 44 years old. I am the first in my family, and young for having ILC. I have four boys, 25, 20, 7 and 6. I am still waiting to start treatment and it is driving me batty waiting. It is nice to meet all of you.
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mfalabella...so sorry to see u here. It is a huge bomb dropped in your life, you can get through it and rebuild. It takes a while. You will feel better when you know the treatment plan and can get underway, getting some things behind you and under your belt. I used the boards here more than once per day. Get your helpers around you and supporters here and in your life. Not everyone in your life (friends) has what it takes or what you need. Other people surprise you with how wonderful they are. This is a great clarifier in life in a lot of ways. It's still a S@& sandwich! You can get through it and feel like yourself again. Promise. Hugs.
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Reaux2gumbo89- ...what about East Jefferson in Metairie? That's where I am. They have a direct relationship with MD Anderson now...without having to travel 5 hours. They have nurse navigators as well to coordinate all of your doctors. I am pleased :-)
Melancholy- we sound almost identical. I was diagnosed at 42, my Mom at 48. She is a 22 year survivor! My aunt and grandmother are also survivors and my sister was diagnosed a month ago. We are all negative for BRACA 1&2 😳
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Hey everybody! I thought I would post here too since I am 43 with my second diagnosis. (First was at 36, with DCIS. I guess this is the other shoe dropping?) I have a four-year-old son and honestly, the biggest challenge for me right now is trying to maintain absolute status quo for him. I plan to do a BMX with GAP recon in July and hope that the whole process won't scare the pants off him. On the bright side, he keeps me so busy I can't dive down too many internet rabbit holes doing research. (I basically got my Google Ph.D in DCIS back in 2009.) No time for that kind of obsessing now, which is probably a good thing!
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I was diagnosed at 46 in March. BRCA 2+, no family history of BC, but my mom and paternal grandmother had ovarian. Had BMX 2 weeks ago
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Welcome to the board, ladies!
"Google PhD in DCIS" That's how I felt too
I have a thick stack of printout, organized according to a specific order that only I know. If my partner tried to pull one research paper out, I got mad, ha!0 -
Nolagirl1126- wow, we do seem almost identical. Congrats on your mom being a 22 year survivor! My mom is 19 years survivor! I feel that there has to be some kind of genetic link. Maybe with more research, they can find another gene. My MO didn't seem to be worried about my age, it's like age doesn't matter anymore. They are seeing new breast cancer patients younger and younger now. I am glad that my MO didn't recommend chemo, but part of me is really scared that maybe they should have recommended it for me. I go Monday for my rad CT SIM. After 30 rounds of radiation, I get to take Tamoxifen for 10 years.
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Hi Ladies,
I was diagnosed next day after valentines day...And it was an emotional roller-coster since then.
I have my 4th Taxol tomorrow. + second Herceptin.I am 47 have 2 boys. 20 and 11 years old. I was always self conscious about my body and fitness... exercised, tried to eat right. I have no family history of cancer.
So far i feel ok, exersise daily, try to be very good with food now (No meat or milk , very little sugar). Hope it will help me to lower risk of IT coming back.
One more thing, I totally addicted to this forum. It helps me a lot to be part of it.
Thank you all for being here for me.
If anyone from North Jersey, please let me know.
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victoryak... I am from North Jersey. Where are you from?
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victoryak and thinkingpositive, I'm from north-central Jersey - north somerset county. where are you from?
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hi all! Hope it's ok that I join you! I'm 45 and am a single mom of twin boys who are 9. I was diagnosed 10 days before my 45th birthday.... And am awaiting my surgery date (expected June 23rd but waiting for formal confirmation)
It would be great to have a community of women going through this whom are all around the same age! It was the first time being considered "young" with a medical diagnosis...who knew that would not always be a good thing!!
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Jenwith4kid...I am from the Morristown area, Right off of 287. We were both diagnosed the same year.. I was about 8 months after you. I remember seeing alot of your posts back then when I was struggling to decide which regime to choose, and focusing on the many things my MO told me not to focus on. How are you doing ?
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Ladies, I am from Fair Lawn, NJ... And I agree with above it is one of those cases when I wish I would be older....When I go to treatments there mostly older people there. I think i feel I am one of the youngest there.:(
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viktoryak, jenwith4kids, thinkingpositive - I'm also from north/central nj (northern Hunterdon county).
I agree that I would see mostly older people at treatments. It was sometimes an awkward feeling. During chemo I went to an ACS Look Good, Feel Better session and I think I was the youngest there by like 20 years!
My "youngness" was also one of the reasons that my MO reccomended chemo. He looked at a two entry year recurrance and said " if you were in your sixties in 20 years you'd be in your eighties but since your old in your 40s in 20 years you'll only be in your 60s and prime age to possibly get it again
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It looks like us Jersey girls are within a 30 mile radius of each other ! I'm right off of 287 too and I was treated at Morristown.
I feel really good. Finally!! Now that you mention it, I remember your username too. So much is kind of a blur from my year of cancer. That's a good thing I think.
Enjoy the long weekend!
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I was treated at st Barnabas. I often think I should have gone to Morristown. I shouldn't look back at my choices. What is your follow up like at Morristown now with your MO??
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I really like my MO. I see her every three months. Very early on my tumor markers spiked, I freaked until they were re-run. At that point I asked her if we could stop running them (my tumor markers were normal when I HAD cancer, how reliable could they really be?) She agreed ... going against what the practice recommends. I like that.
Dr. Sarada Gurubhagatavala - we call her Dr. G.
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My MO at St Barnabas does not run tumor markers nor do they do any scans unless there is a reason. I still see my MO every three months and he does regular blood work. How are you doing with the Letrozole. Seems like you have been in it for the same amount of time as me. I always worry about the joint pain. It's worse after sitting for a while. And in the morning after getting up. It caused me to have osteoporosis in my spine so now I take Actonel any just recently my cholesterol increased so it is at the low range for high. I am trying to get it down with diet. Do Not need to add another drug to the list!
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