Ladies in their 40s
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Hi Bekah!!
I was DX one month prior to my 42nd birthday. My surgery is set for January 14. Mine is just beginning!
Merry Christmas to all of you!!!!!!!! 🎄🎁🎅🏻
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I hate that whole 'new normal' thing because it sounds so cliche. BUT I know it's true so I need to just begin to adapt.
At the moment I'm having a 43-yr-old temper tantrum and I'm trying to defy this new normal. Blech...I'll get over it soon but I'm gonna hot flash and cry...no yell...no cry again... my way through it.
Sigh...I'm going to have a cookie. That should make me feel better right?
Bekah
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have two cookies Bekha. I know I'm eating and drinking today!
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you know, not to get too philosophical, but I often yearn for the old normal - but the new normal (yes, a little cliché ) isn't so bad. We don't say "new normal", we just acknowledge that things are different. You are still you. Soon enough, good days will outweigh bad days. I promise.
Jen
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Hi, I'm Shannon and new here...turned 42 in December! I was diagnosed last week with IDC. I have a 7 yr old daughter and a 9 year old son. We just moved to Michigan in August after 2 years in Frankfurt Germany. All of our family is in Va or NC so NOT anywhere CLOSE to help!!! I have made a few friends and the kids are happy at the new school. SO at least that stress is low. We are active with after school activities. My husband's boss is a survivor of breast cancer but don't know the details yet. His work is VERY supportive.
I am still waiting for the rest of my biopsy test results to come in (waiting on the HER2 FISH) but was ER- and PR 2% + My mom died from breast cancer at 38 (probably had the tumor @33-34yrs of age when she was diagnosed at 35). So I had blood work taken yesterday for the genetic testing component. Since I'm "young" as well and family history I check 2 boxes to qualify.
Waiting for the office to call this morning to schedule an appointment with a 2nd surgeon. Phone please ring!!! Its almost 10am. ugh
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Welcome Shannon, sorry you have to be here, but glad you found us! I'm glad your husband's job is supportive, maybe they'll help you build your support system. Look into Camp Kesem for your kids. See if they have one in your area. It was great for my kids.
Good luck!
Jen
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Hi Haus,
So sorry that you found yourself here. We all understand how you are feeling. Come here often to vent. You are among friends. The first few days are very difficult since you do not have a treatment plan yet, but as soon as you have a treatment plan in place, you will feel better.
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I will have to look into that camp! Thanks. I also found out from a local friend that they have Gilda Club here with Kids support group/club so that is a plus. It isn't too far away from my house.
I should be getting in with the 2nd surgeon office on Friday morning....just waiting for the today to hear my HER2 results and if I will do chemo/herceptin first or surgery. Not sure which way I want it to be!!!???
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I am so glad I found this forum. Even tho I am technically cancer free and finished radiation treatment November 20th 2015 (and chemo on July 20th) I am slowly attempting to re-enter the real world. I was diagnosed almost a year ago, 2 months before my 40th birthday, needless to say it sucked. I was single at the time and I don't have any children and if somebody would have asked me where I would think I'd be at 40 the last thing I would have guessed would have been single, childless and with cancer. I haven't had my period since I started chemo back in March and I am trying to figure out how to make it come back (at this point daily affirmations will have to do). I feel so displaced and lost and alone. Everybody around me seems to be pregnant or about to get pregnant or hitched and I am nowhere near any of that. Not even close. Haven't been asked out in a year I'd say, not that I would know how to deal with a boy liking me to be honest. How long will it be before my period comes back? Roughly? And even I were to get pregnant right this second (which is impossible anyways) it would be considered a risk pregnancy due to my age.
I guess I am going to wish and hope for a widower with 4 kids under the age of 6.
Thank you ladies for letting me vent. Also..I cannot believe I am middle-aged!!?? I am tho at 40, yes???
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Jenwith4kids-- there is a Camp about 40 mins from our house! I plan to email them today!!! so glad that is an option available for them. This camp is thru the Univ of Michigan. And I would feel better knowing they could attend camp together. They have both gone for several nights with school field trips just fine but not knowing anyone--at least they aren't "alone." I am also thankful it isn't a far drive to drop them off/pick them up!
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Hi voglio,
So sorry that you had to join us here. My understanding is that there is more than 50% chance at the age of 40 that your period will return after chemotherapy. I had my ovaries removed a short time before my period returned after chemotherapy (I know this because the ovaries removed showed that I had started ovulating again). This was only about two months after the end of chemo. I try to focus on living every day to the fullest and trying not to worry too much about either the past or the future. This is not easy but I try my best. I have found this to be my coping mechanism with cancer.
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And it's FREE!!! Can't beat that. My kids really enjoyed it.
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Hi!
I'm new here too. I'm 44 with 3 kids at home -- 13, 10 and 8. I was diagnosed January 14th with idc. At the time they thought the tumor was 1 cm so scheduled a lumpectomy to be followed by radiation. The day of surgery, a 2nd small spot was found and in the pathology report it states that the tissue between the 2 was also cancerous. So, I ended up with a quadrantectomy (25% of my breast removed). Final pathology lists the tumor as 3.1 cm so I am stage 2 instead of the 1 I was expecting. No lymph node involvement and clean margins of 1 cm around. At my surgical follow up last week, BS assumed chemo would now be added to my treatment. Met with MO and she wanted onco DX results before making a decision - doesn't necessarily think size alone warrants chemo. So, I wait for results again. While I would love to skip chemo, I worry about missing possible cancer that got into the bloodstream. I try to stay positive, but sometimes this feels like a death sentence- if not now, eventually. Glad to meet you all. Heathe
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I was 47 when diagnosed by stereotactic biopsy DCIS and Invasive Lobular cancer on 8/15/15, E+, P+ unable to get HER2 or K9 because of lack of tissue. My sister was diagnosed DCIS at age 44, triple neg stage 3. I have tested positive for a variance in PALB2 gene. I had a Lumpectomy on 10/6/15 which showed nothing and all 4 lobes were clear, stage 1a. The surgeon stated that the sterotactic biopsy got everything. I had 28 rounds of radiation treatment which ended on 12/17/15. I went for my mammogram on 2/22/16 and the report states that the biopsy clip is still present? I am very concerned. When I first saw the Oncologist he had the lumpectomy re-read to insure nothing was missed and now I questioning if the lumpectomy was performed in the correct place? The recommendation is for a repeat mammogram in 6 months.
I was told to expect the first mammogram to be abnormal and I was prepared for that but not to hear the biopsy clip was still in place? I am trying to remain calm for the sake of my husband and kids but I can not help but feel anxiety over this.
My heart go out to all of you brave women fighting this battle. My prayers are with each and everyone of you! Fight and keep fighting!
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Welcome Hawkeye and sunflower and sorry that you have found yourselves here.
Sunflower - I think you should definitely discuss the implications of the biopsy clip left in the breast with your surgeon. That is odd. Better safe than sorry.
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Hi all,
I just came across this forum. It's nice to see a place for us 40's folks!
I find it hard because we are not so young but not so old either.... I find myself afraid of being that perfect age to fight through this and end up having to face it again.... What if the only strides I get to see my kids complete is graduation? What if that's all? Sorry not to be upbeat and positive.... My mind had just been working overtime....
I know... Enjoy every day. Make the best of every situation..... Blah blah blah....
Thinking too much I guess,
Elizabeth
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Eliz1973 - I feel the same. Get through this with fear it will haunt me when I'm about to retire.it just sucks. It also feels like once you start poking around other things pop up. I have a hysterectomy scheduled now in April...everything for me has happened all at once
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ugh! I hear you! When I was first diagnosed, I thought "just give me 10 more years so I can see the kids all graduate" then I realized that wasn't enough-- I want to see them married, I want to be a grandma. I hate this disease
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JJOntario- no fun... I had a hysterectomy in 2010. It was no walk in the park. However, it was the first of my health deteriorating. I have had to work to stay well for so long and now cancer?? Really? Prayers for your strength and healing to prepare for your upcoming surgery!
Hawkeyeheath- I have one graduating this year and my second daughter in 2017. My son will be turning 13 next month. This is not the way "I had planned" spending college applications and visits. This is such an exciting time and I feel like a benchwarmer. Not the typical cheerleader I have always been. I'm supposed to take care of my grandkids...
The possibility is there, people recover and move on. I just feel like a full life of living to old age has been stolen. I have faught illnesses, had surgeries and spent the months recovering from the trauma my body has had to endure. Life has always been fragile, but somehow I feel as though, with cancer, I have been moved to the short list....
Elizabeth
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Sunflower: Please have a second medical institute read your slides. I don't want to scare you but I have surreal experience that only became clear after I sought second pathology opinions on the tissue/slides.
I was initially told by my hospital that I had triple negative and the size was at least 4-5 cm based on core biopsy and imaging studies. After mastectomy, they told me they couldn't find the triple negative tumor (although they saw plenty DCIS and LCIS) so the first biopsy must have got it all. I thought to myself: I got mx in vain? The second opinion hospital that got my tissue and slides eventually told me I actually still have a 2 cm invasive cancer visible on the slides but somehow the first pathologist missed... And it was actually ER/PR positive after re-testing, which was confirmed by Oncotype DX.
Best of luck!
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TreeLilac --One of the surgeons I consulted stated there is a 10% chance the pathology can change after lumpectomy or mx surgery compared to the biopsy. So potentially the biopsy didn't get enough data to sample. I'm TNBC based on the biopsy and potentially it could have been wrong meaning I could have avoided chemo. That was a chance I was willing to take. It was still grade 3 and I don't think that would have changed. I'm doing neoadjuvant chemo to see if it works on eradicating the tumor at surgery time. I don't enjoy the chemo but if it prolongs or improves outcome then it is worth it to me since my kids are so young.
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I have a question if anyone has any comments on it. My original biopsy was in the upper left side of my breast. It was DCIS. I felt the small lump and that's where it was. MRI indicated to additional lesions at 6 o'clock in the same breast. The pathology results from the surgery said everything was in the lower right quadrant? Including DCis. I never really looked at it and questioned it until now when I think about it. obviously there something wrong there are they just decided to omit the fact that it was in the upper left breast as well? Should I be concerned? If they made a mistake like that could they have made a mistake on anything else
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ThinkingPositive, I would talk to your surgeon about it. Any question like that could only be answered by the MD in charge. Best of luck with finding out the answer
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I think I will question my oncologist about this. My breast surgeon - although excellent surgeon- when I went back for followup told me I had nothing to worry about, mine was not the kind that spreads... I couldn't even answer after that.
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ThinkingPositive- Oh my, I would have been speechless too! Yes, then have your oncologist take a look at the path report and get his/her opinion. I would feel better knowing they reviewed it and answered your question.
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Just makes me feel like "what else did they get wrong"?
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I understand...they are human...and do make mistakes. I would review path results with Dr., go over questions, and make sure they are all on same page. If not, and you still feel uncomfortable, then you may want to seek out a second opinion. You want to be able to trust your team!
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Hi All,
I was diagnosed last October at 45. The 5-year survival rate for stage 2 breast cancer is 97%. Although it seems high, it's not much of consolation to be still alive at 50. My oncotype dx recurrence score is 18, so my 10-year risk of recurrence is 11%. In 10 years, I'm only 55....not ready to go yet. I'm not sure what to think of these statistics. I need more than 5 or 10 years!!
My kids are 18 and 20. I would like to live long enough to see them graduate from college, get married and hopefully enjoy grandchildren.
The upside of having cancer in our 40's is that we may be healthier and have more energy to deal with the treatments and recover faster from the surgeries than in our 60's or 70's. I tell myself this is the best age to have cancer, if I must have it and breast cancer is the best cancer to have since it's not a vital organ if I must have cancer this lifetime. The logic may be really twisted, but I'm trying hard to get through this BC journey.
The other "good" thing of having cancer at 45 is that it really forces me to put things into perspective. It constantly reminds me that life is short, cherish the things that matter and not fret the small stuff. This journey has been quite challenging, but I try to be optimistic. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.".
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I feel the same way. I was diagnosed at 58. It came out of nowhere. I was not ready to deal with it and had a very hard time doing so. I watched my father die from lung cancer and saw what he went through with chemo and died anyway. I thought the same would happen to me.
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I watched my father die ( he was 52) from Pancreatic cancer. I was 15...and always wondered if I would have the same fate. His half sister had breast cancer and later died from colon cancer. No one else in my family has had breast cancer...I am the only one...and the youngest of 5 sisters! I am 47, and diagnosed just before my 47 birthday.
However, I look at it this way... My recurrence risk after mastectomy (abt 5%) is actually less than lifetime risk for other women in general... 12%? I'm choosing to live life and not dwell on the cancer!
This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad. Happy Easter!
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