Ladies in their 40s
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Hello, Iam newly diagnosed and new to this site. I am going to be 45 soon. caught it very early but very scare and now facing treatment options.
I have busy two boys 9 and 11. They don't know yet. don't want to tell them at this time. Glad to meet you ladies.
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ROAR I had a shot every three months. No breakthrough bleeding..
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welcome Piano to the club none of us wanted to join. It is very scary. Happy yours was caught early. Remember to breath and take things one step at a time. You have came to the right place for support and to ask questions. If I can be of any help just let me know.
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roareus...hope you don't mind me asking but did you have tho oncotpye test? I see your stats the same as mine but I didn't have the test. Always wonder what mine would have been. I know people can have same stats but totally different oncotype test results. Just curious!! Thanks! Hope you continue to do well.
Kare
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DXd on my 47th Birthday 2017 after almost 15 yrs of clean mammos. Thought I was going to die leaving my loving hubby behind. Bilateral stage 3A and 1 A w 4/17 nodes. ERPR+ her 2 -. BMX w clear margins. Done w 4 DD AC and 4 DD taxol. Feeling ton a lot better and cannot wait for 6wks of right chest wall only. It just dawned on me the reason why it took me full four months to get 100% ROM was because tumors were located on my sides and BS cut those out deep.
Anyway, I feel like I will live again. I will take 6wks of rads and total hysterctomy if they are prices I need to pay. Been doing a lot of soul searching. Blessed w employer who let me have 6 mos of short term disability w full pay. Boss strongly encouraged to take this yr off to finish all treatment and surgery.
First thing first. Got to survive two days of hospital filled w scans, blood work, MO appt and port removal.
Mimi
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DXd on my 47th Birthday 2017 after almost 15 yrs of clean mammos. Thought I was going to die leaving my loving hubby behind. Bilateral stage 3A and 1 A w 4/17 nodes. ERPR+ her 2 -. BMX w clear margins. Done w 4 DD AC and 4 DD taxol. Feeling ton a lot better and cannot wait for 6wks of right chest wall only. It just dawned on me the reason why it took me full four months to get 100% ROM was because tumors were located on my sides and BS cut those out deep.
Anyway, I feel like I will live again. I will take 6wks of rads and total hysterctomy if they are prices I need to pay. Been doing a lot of soul searching. Blessed w employer who let me have 6 mos of short term disability w full pay. Boss strongly encouraged to take this yr off to finish all treatment and surgery.
First thing first. Got to survive two days of hospital filled w scans, blood work, MO appt and port removal.
Mimi
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Rebamac, I had my ovaries removed in 2015 when I was 46 and I do not regret that decision. I had to have the old fashioned surgery as I was not a candidate for laparoscopic surgery, but after about 6 weeks I was feeling great and I had a wonderful sense of relief that I was doing all I could to keep the cancer away. The hot flashes were not as bad as I had anticipated .
Good Luck to you
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ROAREUS, I went the route of the others here who quit the shots and went for the oophorectomy. I was getting monthly Zoladex (instead of Lupron) shots in the abdomen. I'm 47 now, but quit the Zoladex after 7 months back in 2015 at age 45. I asked my Dr. what will we do if I haven't hit menopause after 5 yrs of the shots, and she said either nothing, or an ooph. My Mom hit menopause very late, so I knew I had a chance of that too. The shots were so painful and I hated putting more drugs in my body for another 5 yrs. The surgery was easy with a pretty quick recovery (I think around a week). The peace of mind I now have that I've done everything I can to keep that estrogen shut down is priceless. Good luck on your appointment 8/1!!
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ROAREUS, I went the route of the others here who quit the shots and went for the oophorectomy. I was getting monthly Zoladex (instead of Lupron) shots in the abdomen. I'm 47 now, but quit the Zoladex after 7 months back in 2015 at age 45. I asked my Dr. what will we do if I haven't hit menopause after 5 yrs of the shots, and she said either nothing, or an ooph. My Mom hit menopause very late, so I knew I had a chance of that too. The shots were so painful and I hated putting more drugs in my body for another 5 yrs. The surgery was easy with a pretty quick recovery (I think around a week). The peace of mind I now have that I've done everything I can to keep that estrogen shut down is priceless. Good luck on your appointment 8/1!!
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thinkingpositive - if you're interested, I had a 3.5 cm tumor, 1 cm lymph node, grade 3, 90% er positive, 90% pr positive, ki-67 10%, and her2 score of 1 (negative but not zero) and my oncotype score was 19.
19 = 12% chance of reoccurrence within 5 years with or without chemo (per the report). My onc said she thinks doing strong chemo and taking an AI over tamoxifen would bring that down by a few percentage points
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Rambros. Definitely interested. Thanks for replying. I like to hope that mine would have been on the lower sideso it gives me hope when others tell me their scores. I know it's not the same snd mine could be way different. By the way my ki67 was 28%. I think I worry more that my MO didn't think it was necessary to do the test. He wanted me to do the chemo.
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hi all,
i am 45 y/o. for bmx next friday. on lupron for almost 3 months and on the second month ALL my joints started to hurt so bad.. called Np yesterday as my onco was out of town. she said bone/joint pains not from lupron as i have had the shot for a while. not from herceptin either ( just had my first herceptin only infusion 2 weeks ago)... gave me tramadol and glucosamine chondroitin. she said the pain is because i am on menopause. so does that mean that even if i refuse lupron and go for oophorectomy i will still feel the joint /bone pains?my husband just wants me to refuse lupron but i am scared as i am strongly estrogen positive. but if this pain persists i know i cannot live like this.
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I don't take Lupron but I finished chemo on 5/29 and started my maintenance H&P on 6/6, one week later I had joint/muscle pain that lasted several days. Either it's from chemo induced menopause or the Herceptin or Perjeta in my case.
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Hi everyone! My name is Sherrie and I am 46 years old, will be 47 in December. My issues these days are dealing with taking Letrozole. I started taking it February 16, 2017 after a laparoscopic complete hysterectomy on February 2, 2017. I had been taking Tamoxifen and after 2 months of no menstrual cycle I was going on 3 weeks of one. After a pelvic US and a transvaginal US it was determined that I had a tumor growing in my left ovary and it needed to be removed. I gave my gynecologist one chance to remove it all at the same time because I wanted no recurring issues here. After surgery I was told that my ovary was only filled with blood and I had a fibroid that was bleeding. Husband was very angry as to why I would be put through an unnecessary surgery but considering the issues I was having I would have opted for the same surgery to remedy it all. With the start of the Letrozole I was told that I may experience bone pain. Well this became no joking matter quickly and 4 months into taking Letrozole I had to put in a call to my onc to tell him I wanted to stop taking it because EVERYTHING hurt every day, all day and the multiple hot flashes day and night accompanied with extreme sweating. Taking a shirt off made my arms and shoulders hurt. Sitting on the couch for 30 minutes and getting up hurt. Head to toe, it all hurt. He told me to stop taking it for 3 weeks. So I am now 2 weeks OFF Letrozole. The hot flashes and sweating are beginning to subside and the pain is ever so slowly easing up but is still there. One more week and I call him back to see what he wants me to do. I will not take the Letrozole anymore, I would rather go through chemo and be done with it than continue on feeling the way I have been. I can't do a lot of what I want to without issues and that just isn't going to work for me. I have my 2 year visit with my oncologist next month and am still hoping for good news with all of my blood work as they have been in the past.
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sgabbert,
what you are feeling on Letrozole is what i feel with Lupron.
so sorry you feel the pain...0 -
kae_md99, I have read literature that indicates that both Lupron and Herceptin can cause severe joint pain. I know each of us are so different, so it's hard to know, but my guess would be the Herceptin, especially since it is new. I'd maybe look into that a little more. I'm so sorry you are experiencing such pain.
sgabbert, I know that different people have different reactions to the 3 different Aromatase Inhibitors. I am on exemestane (Aromasin) and my side effects, although THERE, have been manageable. Maybe switching to one of the other 2 (Aromasin or Arimidex) would be more manageable for you? Might be worth a try.
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My oncologist told me that I could actually go back on the Tamoxifen if I wanted to. The only things that bothered me with the Tamox was fatigue and brain fog - I had started to make notes and lists everywhere! Obviously, taking nothing would be preferred!
It has actually eased up quite a bit over the past 2 weeks but my joints are still hurting some and my flexibility is total crap. Starting a new exercise regime with my daughter and husband on Monday. Have gained quite a bit of weight since hysterectomy, after losing about 35 lbs last year and still having another 65 to go, so now I am going back on the diet I was doing as well. Sadly I am looking forward to the diet, hoping it will help with my flexibility and movement as well.
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ycats, i took the herceptin during chemo,6 cycles of taxotere,carboplatin,herceptin and perjeta but i did not experience the bone pains....
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Hi piano. I'm sorry that you have to be here too. I was just diagnosed as well, the beginning of June. I am in the same position as you are...two boys 8 &12. My children don't know yet either and the thought of telling them this breaks my heart. I plan to tell them this week. I wanted to have as many answers for myself before Bringing them into it. Now that I have decided on my treatment plan and I have been scheduled for my Upcoming surgery in August, it has come to that time. I don't like any of the options we have to face here, and I've lost a lot of sleep trying to reach my decision. I am greatful to have this group, as there is so much helpful information and many personal experiences. I wish you the very best in whatever you decide feels right to you. The information and choices can be overwhelming at times. I feel that this is an important time to take it all in, but ultimately, " listen to my gut
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I just found this room and so wish I had earlier! Today marks one year since my LX. Still can't celebrate too much...thought for sure that life would be so much better this summer. It is better, not the same, never going to be the same as it was before. But still keeping on.
Just wanted to offer how I handled the "kid notification". I've got 2 girls, 7 & 11 at the time of dx. And the other face slap - I was diagnosed 2 days before the family moved to another state. Where the closest family would be 3 hours away and no friends. I told my eldest about a week after. I had found doctors and my husband wanted to come with to the appointments and we had no one to watch the girls. Her first reaction was "but they're going to fix it, right?" I explained a bit more of what I knew so far, no major specifics, but that prognosis was good. She asked that same question a couple of times but was okay. I let my youngest know a bit later and just kept it super simple - that I'm sick even though I don't feel sick and the doctors have to do a lot of tests and there will be a surgery to make me better. She didn't ask too many questions. When it was decided that I needed chemo I let their teachers know and asked them to help keep an eye on them. I'm not sure if I would have done that if we were't new there. I thought for sure the youngest would have an issue with the hair loss but it barely phased her. When it came up and they asked to see what my head looked like (I kept it scarfed -- more for me than anyone else) her response was "well that's different". I've had a fairly easy go of it but it still effects everyone...new state, new school (middle school at that) and your mom has cancer. They both finished the year with good friends and on honor roll. I call that a success. That was my story and again, everyone is different.
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Those of you who have been on lupron, do you get your estrogen level checked every month? I ask because I was on three month shots and experienced some breakthrough bleeding. My MO switched me to monthly shots and now wants my estrogen level every month. Being the worrier I am, I am concerned about why the change. Any ideas?
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Let me give my "how do we tell the kids Mom is sick" story. At the time that I was diagnosed our oldest, our daughter, had just graduated from high school early June and we had just gone an awesome road trip for her graduation that she wanted to go on and we also have 2 boys that were 15 & 12 at the time. So I was diagnosed July 27, 2015. We actually told them the same day I received my diagnosis. We brought them all into the living room and told them that we needed to have a family discussion. We told them that I was sick and then explained what was going on and what was going to happen. It was a Monday. We told them that we didn't expect them to be able to understand it all at once but that they could ask any questions any time. They took it hard, they still all cling to me at different times, but we have all made it through so far and will just keep on having faith and keeping all communication open no matter the time of day or subject.
Also, 9 days after my surgery on August 13, 2015 we moved our daughter to college. She's only 45 minutes away but not having her in the house was different while I was still recovering. To this day all of my children will nap with me when they need a little reassurance by talking with Mom and understanding what is still going on with me.
As long as your children are old enough to understand what is going on, even if it is just "Mom is sick and the doctors are helping her as much as possible" you should not keep it from them. Just my thoughts.
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I've chosen to do a Masectomy on my right side without reconstruction. I'm 44, and feeling scared about the emotional impact of loosing a breast. My other breast is DD, so it will be a big change from a body image point of view. I know many women are very happy living “half flat" for lack of a better word, but I imagine it takes some time to adjust. I'm wondering if there is anyway to prepare emotionally for the shock of seeing yourself without a breast? What helped you adjust to your new normal? Book? Counseling? Just a matter of time
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Walden1, this thread hasn’t been active in a while. there is a thread dedicated to this very topic- how have you adjusted to being half flat. Here’s the link- good luck to you!https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/82/topics/861492?post_id=5188373
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Hi Walden1 - so sorry that you had to join us here. I have still not adjusted to my "new normal" although I am so thankful that it has been 5.5 years since my diagnosis. I also never completed the reconstruction process (I have never done the nipple reconstruction). It does bother me - definitely - we are young women on this Ladies in their 40s thread. But I have tried to focus on the fact that I had 5.5 more years with my children (since they were only 7 when I was diagnosed). I just hate this disease. Even if we are fortunate enough to make it through the initial treatment period and have the opportunity to try to gain back some normalcy, we are never ever the same. It is just the truth. I am so sorry - what I said was probably unhelpful.
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But what you said YoungTurkNY is so true. We won’t be the same and I think part of my sadness when being diagnosed on 3/14/18 at age 42 was just that. I began mourning for the healthy woman I always thought I was becoming. But in order to regain control over the situation and find some peace, I had to force myself to become my own best advocate and accept that I can still be that same strong beautiful person I had planned to be. It’s hard though. Especially now with all theses incisions and changes and more surgery to come I’m sure.
Our youngest here is 8. He was the last person we told about the BC because it was such a difficult conversation.
I do think that being this age with BC has its drawbacks (along with the obvious ones) especially when it comes to the way family and friends offer support. I’ve seen now that most people don’t know what the heck to do for you and since some of my friends are even younger than me, they have no idea what a major surgery is like let alone dealing with a dx of BC.
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Warrior2018,
I agree with you. So many unkind (inadvertently) things have been said to me even by the closest family members and friends who cannot relate. In many ways, as young survivors, we are on our own.
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You all are so on point! I'm nearing 2 years since diagnosis and have looked back on everything and how I felt at that time, the unknowns, the pure pressure of being "sick" and "not normal" especially with kids. It wasn't easy but I made it through and so did my family. I was diagnosed two days before moving to another state where I didn't have any connections or friends, so just got the "I wish I was closer to help" without anyone actually being able to help. It probably made it easier on me and my friends as nothing could actually be done so no guilt on anyone's part. The wish for normalcy eventually came true. Conversations are not constantly about treatments anymore with anyone that new me back in the beginning. I got a "so how are you doing" from someone the other day that I haven't seen in about a year and it didn't dawn on me until later he was probably referring to the BC. There is so much more to life happening now but BC is still a constant presence. Take your pill, wonder about any little pain, worry any time a new blood test is ordered but the doctor visits are so much fewer so maybe for a few hours you can just be you and not you with BC. A new normal, sounds cliche but it's a way to find peace with yourself.
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Not sure if this is the best place to post, but I’m 41 and it looked ok. 😊
Hello all, hope you are doing well. Does anyone ever feel like a turtle that never should have come out of her shell? I feel so lonely right now, and all I want is sympathy and I feel awful asking for it (either I make myself feel that way or other people do, or worse, ignore me altogether). I KNOW there are people that have gone through worse than I am going through, but it doesn't make me feel any better to hear it. I know some of you all are going through worse, and I am grateful for the positives, but knowing it doesn't help that this has torn me apart emotionally and physically. I am doing all I can control but I can't make other people care about me. I do have some people that care (like my parents, and my husbands doing the best he can with his crazy summer work schedule, but it still seems so lonely) Sorry, I just needed to vent
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Hi Puzzlewomen. Are you in OH? I reside in northeast OH. I agree that it’s so difficult. Having to adjust to all the new changes, emotions, doctors appts, treatments, side effects... Not to mention the overall life changing impact!! I have days too where I want to just run away from it all. It’s crazy to think that 4 1/2 months ago, less than that for you, that breast cancer was an unknown, not a part of our daily lives. Please don’t feel bad for feeling bad. I think everyone has those days. I’m glad to meet you here ❤️
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