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Ladies in their 40s

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  • Spoonie77
    Spoonie77 Member Posts: 532
    edited August 2018
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    Hi all --

    Posted a few weeks or so back.

    My Lumpectomy is tomorrow morning! It sure took long enough to get here, even though it was really fast in the scheme of things. Just a 6 weeks out from diagnosis. So tomorrow is the big day.

    I'll be arriving at the crack of dawn for all the pre-op procedures and then my surgery is at noon. Hadn't been nervous until this morning when I woke up and boy are they sure making up for lost time! Ugggh. But, hey, on the bright side, at least in 26 hours or so, this dang tumor will be out of me and I am then firmly on the path to remission!

    Wish me luck all...anything is appreciated! Fingers crossed for no nodes and no other tumors!

    Hugs and healing to all!


  • Puzzlewoman
    Puzzlewoman Member Posts: 52
    edited August 2018
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    Spoonie77 - good luck with surgery and your nerves! Do you know if they need to do a needle localization? It was one thing I was not prepared for, but otherwise my surgery went really well


  • dani444
    dani444 Member Posts: 215
    edited August 2018
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    Spoonie77 wishing you the best for your surgery tomorrow. I am 46 and recently diagnosed with ILC, I don't have a surgery date yet. I wish I could give you some advice on calming your nerves, however I currently suck at being calm! Let us know how it all goes, sending good vibes your way.

  • Warrior2018
    Warrior2018 Member Posts: 212
    edited August 2018
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    Wishing you the best Spoonie!


  • Spoonie77
    Spoonie77 Member Posts: 532
    edited August 2018
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    Thanks everyone. I'm going to try to go to bed early with the help of my Lunesta and a Clonipin. My SO's RN said that was totally ok. What a relief! By this time tomorrow, if all goes well, and it WILL, I'll be close to going home and tumor free! :)


    Puzzlewoman -- > Yes, am having the wire placement (I think that's what they call a needle localization?), a few mammograms, then the nuclear meds, and then off to the OR I'll go. Was yours painful ? I'm sorry if so. Fingers crossed mine will go ok. I'm a "chronic pain" lifer so I live with constant pain every day. Hopefully this will be in my pain scale tolerance.

  • Puzzlewoman
    Puzzlewoman Member Posts: 52
    edited August 2018
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    I had a huge amount of anxiety before surgery, so I said I can’t be awake and asked for the most drugs they could give me. I was not prepared that I had to do that before they could give me those drugs. If I had been prepared mentally it would have been much better. Best wishes!

  • Puzzlewoman
    Puzzlewoman Member Posts: 52
    edited August 2018
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    And yes it was painful, but not that bad

  • CC2016
    CC2016 Member Posts: 94
    edited August 2018
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    Spoonie77 - You're probably already at the surgery center but still wanted to add my encouragement. I'm 2+ years removed from my lumpy. It's not fun but your will have major head-game relief later when they tell you that you have "clean margins." No matter what the treatment plan is to come you know that the evil bodies are no longer in your body.

    And yes, there is pain involved. They are cutting into your body, moving things around, taking stuff out and your body does not like it. My personal take was (and I have a fairly high pain tolerance and really hate taking drugs - yes, I laugh at that too with this dx) that by day 2 I was just on Tylenol for pain. One tip many folks told me was to "stay ahead of the pain" especially the first few days. Prescription says take 1-2 pills every 4 hours - make sure you take at least 1 every 4 hours. Set an alarm to remind yourself. You may not feel pain at hour 4 and decide to wait, by hour 5 you are in major pain and it just takes longer to kick in and provide relief. And ice packs are your best friend for the next week or more.

    Best wishes and healing blessings headed to you

  • Warrior2018
    Warrior2018 Member Posts: 212
    edited August 2018
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    Spoonie- hope you’re doing well

  • Spoonie77
    Spoonie77 Member Posts: 532
    edited September 2018
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    Thanks everyone for the support and healing thoughts! It's definitely been a rollercoaster this past week or so.

    Surgery came and went without much to do. Gotta say having the "wire" put in and walking around for 5 hours before surgery with it boxed up to keep from catching on anything was really annoying and frustrating. But in the grand scheme of things, it all went smoothly.

    They successfully removed the tumor and the node that was identified with the nuclear medicine and dye. I did well and am healing "ok" I think. More pain in my Node Biopsy incision than anything else. Icing it 24/7 and keeping up on meds has been the only way to keep it "manageable". Uggh, was not prepared for that pain (have a high tolerance) and from what I'd heard from most I'd talked to that wasn't the norm. Oh well, the tumor is out and that's what I"m focusing on! :)

    I was SOOOOO relieved after surgery, that in recovery, I was in tears with my nurse that the tumor was finally out and that surgery was over. I really didn't see that coming but it felt so gooooood to have that part behind me.

    I've been sleeping a ton. Literally 16-18 hours a day. This coming from an Insomniac due to my other chronic illnesses....it's been wonderful to sleep for once! I'm sure my body needs the rest and I'm glad to give it to it, not that I have much choice. Sort of feel like a Narcoleptic at times. LOL.

    Anyway, my pathology report came in yesterday. I was all kinds of nerves all day long. Every minute seemed to drag for hours. I'm sure you all know how that goes! Uggggh. Waiting is simply the worst. Each time the phone rang I about jumped out of my skin and had a heart attack! Finally the call came in around 2 pm and it was the best news possible, under the circumstances.

    My surgeon told me they were able to get clear margins around the tumor. Plus, the one large node that they removed, turned out to be a cluster of 3 when it was worked on. They all came back cancer free so that was awesome news!

    I have a post-op appt with my surgeon next week and then will meet with my Chemo doctor toward the end of Sept when I'm healed up more. In the meantime, the doctors are ordering the FISH & Mammoprint tests to assess chemo options/benefits. So I won't have a final answer on that for a few weeks as it takes a bit to process I guess.

    Didn't realize I wouldn't hear that particular test result on that phone call, so it was a bit disappointing but at least I'll find out when I see my MO. More waiting, lol.

    So the ball is rolling there and in the meantime, I can happy dance to my heart's delight that I'm as cancer free as the doctors can surgically get me!

    Anyway, that's the news. Just had to share. More waiting but at least now I know there's no tumor in me still growing and I can live with that a lot stressfully than the other option!

    Hugs and healing to all!


  • Puzzlewoman
    Puzzlewoman Member Posts: 52
    edited September 2018
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    So nice to hear you are doing well!!

  • Sadlynew2018
    Sadlynew2018 Member Posts: 173
    edited September 2018
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    needing so many prayers now. Just got the final path back following my bmx. The doctor said that there was about 2cm left of tumor in my breast (original excised amount was 1cm). (When it was originally excused, doctors thought it was just a lump). And, contrary to the report I received after surgery, 1 of my 6 nodes is positive (8mm). I am crushed. I've cried and cried. I've looked at my sweet kids faces, just hoping I get to see them get married. This has completely wrecked me. My husband is so incredibly supportive but I feel like I'm past the point of support. My dr was able to get me a PET scan tomorrow. Please. Please. Pray for no other cancers or cancer cells. I'm trying to keep it together for the kids and continuing to work but I'm almost completely broken. Found out my onco score was 26 last week as well. This has shattered me to pieces. I am talking with MDAnderson to try and get an appointment. I just don't know what else to do. Thank you for letting me vent. Hugs to all.

  • Puzzlewoman
    Puzzlewoman Member Posts: 52
    edited September 2018
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    Prayers and hopes for you 💜

  • Bostoniangal25
    Bostoniangal25 Member Posts: 177
    edited September 2018
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    sadly news, prayers and hugs, I had 1 micromet 2 mm encapsulated inside in 1 node.

    I m wondering how others are stage 2 with 0 lymph nodes? And I m grade 3, so it’s sucks...

    Going through chemo now!!!

    ❤️❤️❤️

  • DATNY
    DATNY Member Posts: 53
    edited September 2018
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    Sadlynews, do you have any symptoms to make you so worried about spreading? Being node positive it doesn't mean that it has spread. If you look at the signature of the ladies on this site, you'll see that stage 3 ladies with many positive nodes are still cancer free after many years.

    I know where you are now, been there, done that. Had multiple nodes lighting up in the mri. In my case I also had a plethora of symptoms, bad enough and unexplained. Still all the scan were clean at the diagnosis. So try to relax and take one step at a time.

  • Sadlynew2018
    Sadlynew2018 Member Posts: 173
    edited September 2018
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    thank you puzzle, Boston and Datny. Your responses mean a lot. I don’t have any symptoms. But I’ve just been on a roll of bad news. And I’ve had a gut feeling the whole time that it was a whole lot worse than everyone thought. I walk around the house and just think who will take my place and be my kids new mom and my husbands new wife and I cry harder. I’m 41, try to eat healthy and love to run and exercise. I have 3 kids that need their mom so much. I’m just so scared of the results to the point that I don’t want them. Is that weird? I’m so sorry to be venting and rambling. It hasn’t even been 30 days since diagnosis.....
  • DATNY
    DATNY Member Posts: 53
    edited September 2018
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    Eating healthy and running likely made it hard for cancer to spread. With grade 2 and a 3 cm cancer, it must have been there for many years, 10 or more. Had plenty of time to spread if it could do it easily. The fact that you have no symptoms It's a very good sign.

    It will take a few months to adjust to the new reality, and treatments are some piece of work, but before you'll know it, you'll start forgetting about this ordeal.

  • Sadlynew2018
    Sadlynew2018 Member Posts: 173
    edited September 2018
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    Boston, did they recommend removing all of your nodes under your arm? It’s something my doctor suggested and the idea scares me.

  • InnaB2018
    InnaB2018 Member Posts: 766
    edited September 2018
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    Sadlynew, I know exactly how you feel. After being assured that my nodes are fine, I was crushed by the news that one of them had a 7 mm macro met. It was discovered during the BMx, so the surgeon removed 17 more nodes, which were clear, thank God. Don’t worry about it, really. The most important thing is that it’s out of your body right now.

    You’ll get chemo, most likely, and probably rads, as an additional insurance. I am finishing up my DD regimen next week and will start rads in the beginning of October. After that, i’ve Been told that the likelihood of cancer coming back is about 5%, which is good odds.

    I remember going through the same nightmare you are describing. I am 45 and have 2 kids and wonder every day whether I’ll see my grandkids. Well, now I think I will. If I survive the last chemo, that is 😋. Good diet and exercise will help too. Stay positive!
  • Bostoniangal25
    Bostoniangal25 Member Posts: 177
    edited September 2018
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    Sadlynews- I m your twin- turned 41 this summer, have 3 kids ages 14,13,,5 have a micromet , they took out 3 because just 3 light up I guess, and while I was awakening from surgery I was told - o nodes no worries, but later on frozen section they discovered a surprise!

    I should feel positive about not having back stupid cancer. My main concern- 3 daughters... I was tests for genes no brace no other sh..t no family history, I was chosen randomly, now worried if my kids will have too ! I couldn’t pass them but why they should be tested 10 years yeier than me for cancer if it was random for me?

    Datny- what test they are running on you for preventatives? Thsnks

  • CC2016
    CC2016 Member Posts: 94
    edited September 2018
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    Sadlynew - I'm going to be the mean one and say "Get those thoughts of who will care for your family OUT of your head!" I get it, it's super hard at times to not think the worst. But only at your lowest point should you really dwell on that. Focus on them and the next big thing there will be in their lives (Birthday/Christmas/School Play/etc) and make plans for that. Then the next. And then the next. Just keep focusing on this moment in time. It's so hard but it is really the only thing that can keep your head in the game. The moment I was diagnosed I immediately said "I'm raising my kids" to let everyone know that this was not going to break me...and to motivate me to not live in the dark side. There were a few spots in this journey that I fell but the support, prayers and the knowledge of everyone around brought me back up a bit to where I could grab hold and refocus. At this point in your journey, YOU are going to raise your kids! Don't let anything break you from believing that!

  • SheliaMarie
    SheliaMarie Member Posts: 284
    edited September 2018
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    Sadly - your story breaks my heart. I was 31 at my original diagnosis, had 3 young children, and I felt the same way. It’s soul crushing fear, I know. Try to breathe. It’s okay to be scared, or angry... but keep on keeping on. Know that you’re not alone. ((Hugs)

  • Sadlynew2018
    Sadlynew2018 Member Posts: 173
    edited September 2018
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    Ladies-


    Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers. The PET scan was this morning and all came back CLEAR of mets disease. I’m still in shock. I’ve read your messages countless times today to help get me through. I hope one day I can be half as helpful to someone on here as y’all have been to me. 😊. From the bottom of my heart, thank you ladies. May we all continue to kick butt.
  • Bostoniangal25
    Bostoniangal25 Member Posts: 177
    edited September 2018
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    sheliamaria, sorry it came back for you - I m scared, how did it progressed in stage 4 with bone mets after you gone through rads chemo ? Did you have a family history ? Or brca? Sorry to be so noisy/ but I m scared ...

  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,592
    edited September 2018
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    sadlynew2018, great PET results! Breathe and celebrate 😀

  • DATNY
    DATNY Member Posts: 53
    edited September 2018
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    Bostoniangal25,  do you mean what tests is the doc doing from now on, since I just finished the treatment? I am scheduled for 3 months visits for monitoring. As far as I know, the doc will do the liver panel and the complete blood count. He is not into scans, he said there is too much radiation, and is better to wait and do scans if there are symptoms to worry about.

    Sadlynews, happy for you, time to celebrate as mae says. 

    Bostoniangal25, unfortunately, there is no warranty about what will happen in the future. It is just impossible to predict one way or another. The doc told me this, and I was convinced by scanning through hundreds of signatures posted on this site. I've seen ladies with stage 0 progressing to stage 4 in a few years, and I've seen ladies with stage 3 being cancer free after many years.  I know there are statistics, but they are applicable to groups of women, not to individuals. 


  • Bostoniangal25
    Bostoniangal25 Member Posts: 177
    edited September 2018
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    thsnk you Datny for your response ! It’s better to stay positive !!!!

  • Bostoniangal25
    Bostoniangal25 Member Posts: 177
    edited September 2018
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    sadlynews- congrats!!! 🎉🎈🎊 enjoy happy news

  • SheliaMarie
    SheliaMarie Member Posts: 284
    edited September 2018
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    Boston- after almost 9 years of cancer freedom, I accidentally discovered a swollen lymph node above my clavicle. It was a weird place for a swollen lymph node, so I made an appointment with my onc who sent me for a biopsy. I always knew there was a chance it would come back, but I think I lived in denial for the most part. After a while the fear of recurrence will fade, and I encourage you to live, live, live! There is so much more I wish I had done during those years in between. But would’ve, could’ve and should’ve won’t change where I am today :(

  • Sadlynew2018
    Sadlynew2018 Member Posts: 173
    edited September 2018
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    thank you, Boston. It’s going to be a long road of treatment ahead but I absolutely love the people in this group. Looking forward to joining everyone on this road called “kicking c**cers ass!” (I hate the word and don’t even like typing it).