Life does not end with a stage IV diagnosis (really!)
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Shutterbug: such great photos. Thanks for sharing! And I understand about the uncomfortable conversation. My friends were all sitting around this summer talking about retirement; its those seemingly benign conversations that sometimes hot me the hardest. Here for you anytime you need a shoulder!
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Great masks Shutterbug. The last picture of course makes me hungry. Hope the antibiotics help your furry family member too.
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Great mask photo Shutter! I love it! I hope to go to new Orleans someday soon. We have relatives in Louisiana lately. I know exactly how you felt when the dark cloud came as i did it to my DH yesterday when in casual conversation he said about his brother "well he knows you have a life ending condition" and thats all i heard and burst into tears. But we learn how to shake those moments off just to save our loved ones from more trauma I guess. So glad you had a blast. I am trying to splurge more as well especially on experiences but frugalness and planning the future for who I am leaving behind is a hard habit to break.
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Great photos Shutterbug. Loved the pic with the mask. Awesome.
Well, things are going okay for me. I start radiation next week to get rid of my unwanted guest. My DH is an awesome guy. I admit I am spoiled rotten. So today he gave me my birthday present. It is an awesome beach house. This has always been a dream of mine. I was so torn on us actually doing it, cause after all who knows how long we will be able to enjoy it. But his thoughts were that whatever time we have we will enjoy every minute. After some thought I decided that this would make our family happy while I'm here and happy when I'm not. So we went for it. Talking about living in the moment, I must be crazy. Anyway, can't wait till we close. Best wishes to all.
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Kandy,
Holy moley, that is FABULOUS! Don't have a second thought about it. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!
Tina
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Shutterbug,
So happy that you enjoyed NOLA. It is a wonderful city.
Kandy,
Keep that beach house and keep that amazing husband. You and your entire family deserve the happiness it will bring.
Not anywhere near a beach house, but younger dd, SIL and Miles are staying with me for a few days while their hardwood floors are being refinished. My SIL installed a new shower head in my bathroom and fixedmy toilet! I'm living the good life 😜.
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Caryn, trust me, I would definitely be thankful for a fixed toilet. It's the small things in life that means the most. I hope you enjoy the time with your family.
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Artist - you should go! I love the funky vibe of the city and DH loves the night life (for which I needed to prepare with a long nap!). I think you would love it! It is a fine line we walk, isn't it? Wanting people to understand that our days are numbered, but also wanting to be treated as "normal". I totally get it.
Kandy - I hope you and your DH have many many many years to enjoy that beach house!
Caryn - Enjoy the new plumbing and having your family with you for a few days. The good life indeed!
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My absolute favorite city in the world is Paris and next best is New Orleans because it reminds me of Paris - it looks like you had a lot of fun Shutterbug. Congratulations on your anniversary.
Amy
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Shutterbug - I use opportunties like you describe to freak out the salesperson "Do you want the 5 year warranty??" No I have MBC and will be dead in 5 years. Sort of I your face. Sometimes I just get mean!! Sometimes I can't help myself Not always appropriate
New dishwasher being delivered next week No I did not buy the 5 year warranty!
Best
Nel
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Awesome, Nel. I don't like sales pressure, so I am chuckling over your post.
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Nel - you really made me chuckle. I just might try that some time! This woman was so nice that I really felt bad that we'd wasted her time.
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Amy, I am obsessed with Paris and think New Orleans remind me of it too. Nel, sometimes I think some pretty mean spirited things in my head when people are being dopes...
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Artista,
As my late mother famously said, "You can think whatever you want, you just can't say whatever you want." I believe that's one of the things that defines a civil society. So thinking mean things is a civil way to to blow off some steam :
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Great pics Shutterbug , Kandy I guess I now know the location for our next reunion lol always loved the beach lucky you😊.
Wendy
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Caryn - toilets are way underrated. Enjoy it and the family time.
Kandy - Enjoy the beach house. That's awesome. I echo Wendy, that would be a great place to meet people.
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Great photos, Shutterbug! New Orleans is one of my most favorite places in the world. We usually go every spring right around Easter time, but that happened to coincide with when I was in chemo this year so we didn't get a chance to go. Your pics are reminding me that we might need to try for 2017!
Congratulations on the beach house, Kandy! What a great thing to do! Time spent at the beach is always time well spent!
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I need to be a bit more cautious about what I say. A friend just gave me a towel that says
God - keep your hand around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth. That tells you something about how I operate these days. Try not to be mean, just direct and truthful.
Be well
Nel
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Nel,
I like what you say. It is quite possible to be truthful without being mean or unkind. I would like to make one exception, however, being truthful when the only purpose is to say something that will hurt someone's feelings without any reason, is also a good time to hold your tongue. No reason to tell someone you don't like their new shoes, car, etc. If they like it, that's good enough!
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Caryn, I agree it is prudent to keep most negative comments locked in my brain no matter how tempting it can be to spout off. It rarely reaps any benefit to the situation! However Nel, I seem to be naturally much more direct and truthful these days too, like no beating around the bush with my opinion. But I have to be careful as it a fine line between honesty and being unkind sometimes!
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Ah yes, that fine line. I try to stay on the right side of it as well. But my tolerance for people's foolishness is very slim. A friend is having foot surgery on Wednesday and was complaining that her pre-op was at 7 AM one day last week. This is the same hospital I went to and now have to drive by to get to treatment. How many 7 AM mornings have I had in 5 years? She said to me" You don't have much sympathy for me" Nope none, I say, done it too many mornings myself.
Not hurtful, but really that is what you have to complain about. I get foot surgery sucks, been there done it twice, but complaining about 1 appointment at 7 AM No patience for that.
I think that people just forget what we have been through or are going through ad I need to remember that I need to have some patience with others stuff. Some days are just better than others.
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LOL! For sure! Some day are better than others and my patience meter reflects accordingly.....
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Autumn is here. Even tho my fingers and feet ache, sting, and tingle like the dickens (and let's not mention the incessant dead skin peeling from the chemo), I still rejoice.
It took me several days to get my autumn decorations up, but I'm happy I finally did because even tho the bone mets and degenerative arthritis in my spine are screaming, I have lovely orange, vermillion, and yellow leaves, crimson sunflowers , gold chrysanthemums, and mini pumpkins to bring a smile to my now drawn and blotchy face. God brings us these wonderful colors to cheer us up before the bare grey branches and white snow of winter set in. I'm going to do whatever I can to cheer myself up before death stretches out his bony hands to take hold of me.
I'm buying myself flowers every week now when I feel strong enough to venture out to the store. I've pulled out my good wedding china and linens and USING them while I still can. (What the heck was I was I waiting for? I've been married for over 26 years and hardly ever use them except for special occasions.) I recommend that you all do the same.
There is still hope: Immunotherapy antibodies are working for skin, lung, and bladder cancers, and I pray that the angels working on this new therapy at Stanford University will soon be able to make it work for us MBC gals as well.
Let the dishes sit for a while. So what if you didn't get to vacuum all the dog hair off the sofa and carpet today. All those dirty towels and soiled clothes can wait a little longer. Enjoy the glorious, warm golden light as you watch the shadows climb up the old redwood fence in the late afternoon while the days grow shorter. With each passing day, your life is growing shorter, too.
Autumn is here. Enjoy it while it lasts. God bless you all.
Lita
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Lita,
Wonderful post. I love fall too, but it's a cruel,tease for us. Have you heard that we're expecting a mini heat wave starting Sunday? I live in San Jose
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Exbrnxgrl: Actually looking forward to a little heat. The Xeloda makes me SO chilly as it builds up in my system and depletes my RBC count. While everybody's walking around in shorts and a tank top, I'm on the La-Z-Boy with the heat unit on and two blankets over me. That will certainly change when the MO puts me on an AI in a couple of months, ha ha. Hopefully I will be spared the worst of the hot flashes and night sweats.
I actually did pretty well with hot flashes during menopause (of course, I was heavier then, and fat cells produce a little estrogen). Now I'm more than 30 pounds lighter (because of chemo, lack of appetite, etc.), so it will be interesting to see how I'll handle the AI's effects. I'm trying not to get too worked up over SEs that I may not have. I've read that only about 35-40% of women have really debilitating SEs on AIs. If I have to deal w/joint pain, fatigue, and hot flashes, I guess it's a small price to pay for a few more years of life. I'm already dealing with carpal tunnel (because of previous job/work) and arthritis so I guess I can handle a little more pain. The fatigue will be another story. I'm getting pretty fed up with that on chemo, but if it continues on AIs, oh well, I'll just have to deal w/it.
I'm going to try and exercise a lot more, but the MO wants me to be very careful because of all the compression fractures in my spine and ribs. I'm going to ask for a referral to a rheumatologist and get their advice. The MO said I can start going to acupuncture AFTER my chemo is done. So that's a positive.
Enjoy the warm, sunny weekend!
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Lita,
LOL! I am just the opposite, in that I always run hot. My poor students are often freezing because I usually have the AC blasting in my classroom. I have a wonderful class this year and am feeling very satisfied with their learning and my teaching. Yesterday, they entered the classroom with red roses in hand to celebrate my 60th birthday (tomorrow). They also had balloons, a poster and lots of lovely cards. Somewhat embarrassingly, there were quite a few gift cards as well. I appreciate them, but our school families are already amazingly generous. My favorite cards are the ones that say "You are the best teacher I ever had." That cracks me up as they are only in first grade !
Hoping for a good family day tomorrow, but am fighting a miserable cold. But really, no complaints at all because I've made it to 60 !!!!
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Happy Birthday, Caryn, on your 60th!! I'll be 58 in December and looking forward to 60 like I never thought I would.
Not the best photos, but a little bit of autumn aspen trees from Colorado.
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Caryn, happy birthday a day early! Nice to hear about your this year's class.
Re: others complaints. I am also less sympathetic. I listen, sure, but I often don't offer soothing comments. I react to disasters but not inconveniences.
Lita, you're right, use the good china. Buy those flowers. Live in the present.
Coin collecting is my new hobby. Recently dh asked me about some coins passed down to me from my grandfather, so I got them out. They are probably not worth more than 200 bucks total, but I decided to look up the right way to store them, and then read up a bit more on coins and before you know it, I was buying a coin book andjoining a coin forum and asking questions! With a more hectic life before, I never had time or concentration before to learn about them, the info can be overwhelming. I'm learning, tho, to start small, so I plan to buy some commemorative America The Beautiful sets which began in 2010 and will end next year. Very reasonable. They say collect what appeals to you, and I find America incredibly, heavenly beautiful.
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Thanks for the fall posts Lita and Bjsmiller. Today is the first day that it actually feels like fall in Michigan. I always feel a little down in the fall in anticipation of winter, but I am looking forward to sweaters and boots and cider and pumpkins and bonfires and colored leaves and mini candies....
Caryn, how sweet of your students and their families to help you celebrate your birthday. Happy early birthday!
Divine - enjoy your new hobby! I love the excitement of discovering something new. A few years ago I inherited some costume jewelry from the 50's and 60's. I found out that some of that stuff is quite collectable! I spent a few years searching Estate Sales and such building a collection with the intent of eventually selling online. It was fun, but I think I live the research and the hunt more than anything.
Oh and I agree...American is amazingly beautiful.0 -
Happy Birthday Caryn. I like the sound of making it to 60. I just celebrated my 56th birthday last Sunday. Sure hope I'm still here in 4 years. How sweet your little first graders are. I love their honesty that you are the best teacher they ever had. How sweet is that? I salute anyone that is a teacher, the patience you must have.
Love the fall pics, we are still running pretty hot here, today it was 90, so we aren't seeing fall colors yet. But next week is supposed to be cooler for us.
My kids came for dinner last night, I got to hold Harper for 6 hours. He is unbelievable sweet.
Wishing everyone a fabulous weekend. Enjoy the moment.
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