Mothers with school aged children
Comments
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that is great Fuji!!!! So happy for a reduction!
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celebrating my daughters 4th birthday! It was priceless!
I have no doubt in my mind that God put her in my life to give me the best medicine! This child is so full of love and joy! She is the happiest child ever! And her smile is contagious!
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nice pic kjones. Does your dd or ds look like you ?
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I think my ds looks like me. My dd looks like my mother as a child. What about you? Do your kids look like you?
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it's been a hard two days. I did not know Kara tippets, but she was friends with many of my acquaintances. She had a blog called "mundane faithfulness." She was a Christian. She made her name known when she wrote a letter to Brittany Maynard. I don't want to start a discussion on that. Kara was diagnosed around the same time I was. She died yesterday, leaving behind her husband and 4 children. Something she said resonated with me--it's like I'm at a party and my father is trying to get me to leave and I'm throwing a tantrum...I'm not afraid of dying...I'm just not ready to go. That may not be verbatim but close. I was in tears because, for me, that describes my feelings to a tee.
Also, I have mentioned before the non-profit inheritance of hope that sent my family to Disney. There was a young man with his ex-girl and daughter. They happened to be in my counseling group...the one where we tell a bit about our cancer experience. I remember him being very uncomfortable. He said he didn't belong there because everyone else had it so much worse. Well he died today. And this is just unbelievable...his ex-girl, mother of his child, she must have remarried and had another child who is around two. That man ALSO passed away two weeks ago! Wth?!?
I'm sorry to vent here. I just can't even process bad news anymore. I didn't think about having "relationships" with terminally ill people...it affects me greatly the losses here and with others from these non-profits. It brings it closer to home. It's not just somebody out there dying, it's tangible people I know.
Now this may be craziness, but all this senseless death makes me think--why her? Why him? Why not me? Some type of survivors guilt I guess. Why do some fly thru treatment options and the cancer keeps taking over? Why do some live with Ned for 7 years? It makes no sense...and if I weren't so sad, I would be mad.
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so it has been 3 weeks since I had my brain surgery and I am still struggling. My help left today and I am on my own to manage the house with the 4 kids and my husband. Its nice to have some space back and to not be handled with kid gloves but i am not feeling my self yet so I am a bit scared. I went to a PT today who confirmed I have some proprioception problems. His goal is to work on those and build up my stamina. I am torn. I need help but the super mom in me has a hard time admiting that. PT said the hard part for me was that I was going to have to learn simple things over again. And that is what is hard this time around. Relearning the simple things we take for granted over again. I am back on my chemo after a 3 week break and I think my body is back to ground zero. I am adjusting back to being on meds again while trying to heal. I am going to have to look for help because I know I need it. And I konw that I will get better. I just have to be patient. I see the neuro surgeon thursday so hope to get off some of the meds that I believie are contributing to my issues. I am having trouble wraping my head around that for the first time in a long time I don't have cancer but yet the recovery seems harder. never thought I would be saying that.
Kjones- hugs to you and to all the family and friends who lost someone who meant something to them.
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kjones-Thank you for the pictures of your children, they are adorable! I often feel the way you describe, I feel like my 7 year old son and all my children, are the reasons why I am still on earth. I am sorry about the loss of your friend. Sometimes the sadness is just seems unbearable, but somehow we manage to muddle through.
Sorry ladies, I will post more later. I think of all of you often, it is hard to come here sometimes. I just had a minute before dinner is done so I wanted to check in. I didn't want to read your posts without responding.
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mommaray--I am sorry we have this connection also. I hate it most for our children. I'm sitting here watching my 4 yr old scarf down some fruit. She has a Sofia the first dress on. I could just eat her up!!
Leftfoot--you are a trooper! I'm glad you had help for a while. I have no idea what you have been through. Sounds like hell. I have no doubt that you are super mom! But I really hope you will accept help if offered! This is serious stuff. You still need to focus on your recovery so that you can come back ready for all your loves! Be kind with yourself. Easy for me to say...
Hey star! Remind me. How many do you have?
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I just came across Kara Tippetts book, thought about ordering it, but I am living it...
I truly think that everyone has to decided how they want to live with Mets...for some it is a spiritual journey, bringing them closer to their faith. Not sure if that is for me. But I do want to spend a ton of time with my family and friends and just live life.
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I agree fitz. I'm not sure that is me either. I'm going to see a psychiatric nurse practitioner tomorrow. Really hoping for some new meds that will work miricales on my mood and energy! I'm throwing my hubby a surprise bday party Saturday...how fast do you think the new meds will kick in
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sorry to hear about tippits. Someone asked me the other day why I take risks like ridding horses again. My answer was why fight so hard to live without living. Plus I figure actions that create common stories for my children will be the things that they'll remember later.0 -
fugi--I'm a horse girl too! Although haven't ridden in a while! Last time I rode, I went bareback in the pasture with halter and lead rope. He flushed a bird. He went one way and I went another! I have no muscles anymore! Oh well. I'm just trying to keep him from foundering this spring! I saw on another thread a pic of you on the horse with your daughter. Tell me more!!
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kjones- unfortunately that horse isn't mine. He's my moms Russian Arab. He's an easy ride. I'm not in a position to have a horse yet. However I have worked a deal to give a few pastured mares some exercise this summer. I'm hoping to start them on ground work this weekend. Riding wise I am finding out exactly how much has changed in 20 years. Apparently I ride ancient school. As in just after side saddles.0 -
haha! Well if it ain't broke. Don't fix it. You are taking lessons? What kind?
My 22yr old grade horse is my buddy. I've had him since he was 8. He was a free gift from my (then) in-laws. He was fed and pastured at their place for free as well. Divorce happened and I moved away. But they were happy to keep him for me (they love me).
Since my diagnosis, a (rich) guy at my church volunteered to keep my horse at his place. It's about 30 min closer to me now. And across the street from my parents house. People are amazing. So kind. My son is sometimes interested, but my girl has no fear!!! Love it! I so wanted to by her a pony for her bday!
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Kjones- I'm taking western pleasure lessons. English looks scary. I like trail riding, there are so many great trails in our area. Your daughter is adorable. That's what I was like at that age only my moms horse was a red appt with a white blanket. I'm taking lessons because none of the horses know what the heck I'm asking them to do. I was taught inside leg, inside rein.0 -
Nothing like the love of a horse :-) not riding mine but getting lots of kisses. So happy that my daughter has inherited my love for horses & is far more fearless than I am!
Kjones I also wish I could buy her her own pony...
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kjones. Your dd looks so adorable on that horse. Wish I could buy her a pony
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Teylah during her lesson. She's 7.0 -
Hi, I am joining this group as well under the edited description of "and younger" -- I have a three-month old. I plan to be around when he is school aged and figure I have a lot to learn from you ladies before then. Love the pics everyone is posting.
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hi jfl! Sorry you are here, but I hope we can all support each other. I see you were 32 weeks prego at the time of dx! That is crazy! Did you carry to term or did the dr's want to so something different? How scary! If you get a chance to post a picture of little man, please do!! I love babies!!!!!
Fugi--great pic! How fun for teylah! Following in her mom's footateps! Btw, I learned inside rein inside leg also! I also love the backdrop of your picture! Love love love Idaho!
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JFL- I had a 3 month old when I was diagnosed. She is now 4 1/2 and going into kindergarten next fall. My other kids were 8, 5, 2 1/2 at time of diagnosis. They are not 12, 10 and 7. We are here for you.
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I can't remember if I already posted this or not. Hate short term memory loss. Oh well. This is my dh and both ds's after our last and largest ever snow.
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Welcome JFL!!! So sorry to hear about your diagnosis but you are welcome to the club nobody wants to join : )My boy was 5 at the time of diagnosis. He will turn 8 this summer and I sure hope to have many more days and summers with him. We are taking it one day at a time
some of us are also on the 'insomniacs' thread. The ladies there are really fun and it might help to talk about stuff other than the big c. Lots of hugs to you and the boy. We are here for you.0 -
Hi all. Thanks for the welcome messages. I ended up having the baby a week after my diagnosis, at 33 weeks. The original plan was to have him out at 34 weeks but they were having trouble getting my hypercalcemia stabilized and I was in so much pain, I literally felt like I was dying. It appears my cancer was likely triggered due to IVF/pregnancy hormones and progressed very quickly. I started having bone pain symptoms in the first trimester but attributed everything to the pregnancy. By the end, the pain in my ribs and hips/groin was very severe. I could barely walk and the slightest cough or laugh felt like my back was going to break and my chest was going to crack open. I mentioned my symptoms to my OB on multiple occasions (who knew of my cancer history). He shrugged off my symptoms and told me I was probably having a tougher pregnancy because I was "old" at 38 and should hire a personal trainer and work through the pain.
Despite extensive liver and bone mets, all is going well right now. I had two palpable 2cm supraclavical lymph nodes which disappeared in about month of treatment. I had a PET done a few weeks ago which showed no uptake in the liver and only mild uptake in the bones. All of the lesions are still there but are not really active. I feel very fortunate that I am doing well and baby is doing great. He spent a month in the NICU and is a little champ!
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patty--I don't see the picture... Will you try to post it again?!
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Love the pics patty! Reminds me of my Midwest (WI) childhood.0 -
another school night and I am wide awake worrying about the future. Something about when everyone else is asleep my bed in tunes into the craziest thoughts. The what if and then what's. Really gotta learn to control my brain and not let my brain control me. Some days are easy some days are nearly impossible. Truth is I gotta get to sleep dh and ds's will be up soon ready yo start a new day and looking / examining me for the mood for the day. So time to reapply makeup and paint on my silly smile. Fake it Til I mske it. Right ?
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PattyPeppermint-
I had one of those nights last night as well. Thats what moms do. Get up, go on being mom, and find the strength to carry on. I wasn't a great parent last night after a late night call from the oncologist. But forgive yourself some. You are doing the best you can and I bet you are doing much better than you give yourself credit for. Be kind to yourself. You love your kids and do everything for them. It might not be what you think you should be doing but it is something.
hugs to you. and I hope today is better and you get some rest tonight.
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Hi Patty - I'm so sorry for all your troubles. I have to confess I couldn't handle my situation without antidepressants and Xanax. You are right, in the craziest hours we worry about 'what if's and then what's. Maybe it sounds silly but the way I got some peace and acceptance of my situation was to tell myself it takes a village to raise a child and that my son has a network of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends that are close to him and who will be there in time of need. And that I'm doing my best every day which is mostly being around for him and putting on a (sometimes genuine, sometimes fake) happy face
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