Mothers with school aged children
Comments
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patty--I have felt similar to you at times. My psychiatric nurse practitioner said I had to fix my sleep habits first. So no matter what, I take 5mg ambien at 10. This does cut down on my time with my dh. But I am able to get up an take this kids to school and stay up during the day...well I do get tired especially after treatment. Taking a 20 min power nap helps. But then she also increased my Wellbutrin to 300mg. The biggest change is not coming on this site at all when I am in bed. I was getting addicted to reading other people's stuff, not realizing it was taking away from myself. During the day time is more of my depression time. We are the masters of putting on a smiling face, aren't we?! The night time, when all is quiet, that's when my mind revs up and I can't shut it off. I can go to the very darkest thoughts. Sleeping through it feels like denial...and it's great! I'm so sorry you are having a rough time. We are here for you. Love the pic of your kiddos!
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yea it's Saturday. A full day if famiky time. Lord grant me the energy to be able to hang as mugs as possible. Nothing wrong with a quick nap as long as I can get back up and visit more. Seeing more secure smiles in my families face is sooo worth it.
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We all scream for ice cream
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cute boys! My DD is the ice cream 🍨 queen in our house. She'd eat it for dinner!0 -
lol sounds good to me
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Hi Mamas, I just got back from a great spring break trip with my family. My kids are 10,18,15,11, and 7. It was a nice time for all of us to be together. My 20 yo is currently at home from college recovering from mono and possibly Lyme disease....almost a year later we have no official diagnosis other than the mono. She has terrible fatigue and pain, she sleeps most of the day. Even on Vacation she slept most of the time and wasn't able to hike or swim much with the rest of us. It is so sad, and stressful to deal with this and my own cancer. We are currently waiting on a new neuro consult for her. Anyway it is always hard to come back from vacation and the weather is so cold here, my DH is working twice as hard to catch up and the teens are glad to be back with their friends. I did really well on while we were away, my energy came back and I cut way back on my pain meds. But I can feel the old stress creeping back in. I think a lot of this battle with cancer is mental and if effects me physically. Maybe I do need meds for depression..........I just feel like I don't need then everyday. Ativan does help with the anxiety and I don't hesitate to take it.
Patty-I love the ice cream photos! Ice cream will always bring a smile to a kids face! Nights are always hard for me. If I don't take a Xanax I can't sleep, and as moms we cant afford to not sleep. So I take Xanax when needed
I love the riding photots! I love animals but I am allergic to horses, so even though my inlaws live next door and have 2 horses I haven't ridden for years. My children used to ride, but they lost interest and I think it stresses my FIL too much to have the horses around the kids.
Kjones-i know you were having a really hard time a few weeks ago. I meant to reply but got busy with our vacation. Sometimes even coming to this site is hard for me, even though I want to be here to be supportive, because I think no one else really understands us.
Lbgal-i used to hate that phrase "it takes a village" but it is so true. I think now especiall,y I hope that I can look outside of myself to help my children have a healthy network of support.
And welcome to the new mom with the 3 mo. It doesn't seem fair to have young children and have cancer. My youngest was 4 when I was diagnosed and it broke my heart. He didnt understand anything other than I was really sick (I was diagnosed with GI and bone mets from the start), but he was used to sleeping with us and all of a sudden he couldn't anymore. And the other children were all so scared, it is really painful to remember that time. But now 2 1/2 years later things are much more normal than they were back then. Hopefully they don't even think of cancer much anymore, although they know I go to the Dr monthly and take meds. I just want them to have as normal a life as possible.
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JFL,
That makes me so mad that a doctor would tell a pregnant woman in pain that she should hire a trainer and work through the pain! I hope you are no longer seeing that asshole. So glad to hear that you are responding so well to treatments. I hope you will see your son graduate from college and beyond!
Hugs, Susan
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Hi all, it is a sunny day here, makes me think I should do some yard work but I am sitting inside with laundry still from our vacation. Why is that vacations can be so much fun but life seems twice as busy once you return? I seriously thought I had readjusted my attitude a bit over the break. I thought I could just take life more simply and not stress about things as much...........it sounded good while I was sitting on the beach, but once I am home I become quickly overwhelmed. Am I the only one who struggles with this? I feel like my house is too much, my yard is too much, friendships are too much, I feel like I need a break which is laughable since I just had a great getaway with my family. I guess I still kind of feel like I am on the fringes of a normal life. Half in, half out. It's not a good place to be. I think I just haven't found the right kind of support yet. Maybe it's the feeling of living from month to month of Dr's visits. I don't know, I wish someone could tell me.
Anyway I hope you all have a good weekend ahead! I'll be headed out the door to pick up my kids from school and I think that should help improve my mood. I am debating on asking for an antidepressant. I have been resistant to the idea because I didn't feel like I really needed it, and I hate to add one more med to the mix. I am so indecisive!
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star--so glad you had a great family vacation! Mine is in June! Can't wait! Oh lord...I can't imagine not having my antidepressant an my anxiety meds! You just have to do what you feel is best. I know I could not function without them. It might be just the little extra umf to push you into feeling like you have some control back in your life. When I get overwhelmed, I shut down. I think the sunshine and our surrounding environment play a huge part in our well being. Kids are a great distraction for sure! I'm so glad you had such a good vacation! Maybe you can look back at the pictures, close your eyes, and dream you are back on the beach--toes in the water, ass in the sand!
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starbright I am on celexa- makes a huge difference for me. It allows me to be in a better place mentally. My kids notice it too. I can still feel sad, happy, etc. It doesn't make all of my emotions go away. Just makes them more manageable.0 -
Love seeing my everyone's pics on here. Here in one of my little baby. He learned to smile a few weeks ago and it just melts my heart. He is a happy little baby!
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what a beautiful boy!! My son had his junior prom
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what a beautiful boy JFL! That smile is positively angelic. My son had his junior prom on Saturday. When I was diagnosed with Stage IV, I never thought I'd see this. But I've watched him get his driver's license (he's an excellent driver), get his first job (he received a customer service commendation from a member of the company's board of directors), and now junior prom (when trying on his tux at the shop, his buddy accidentally ripped his tux shirt and my son gave him his and took a "leftover" shirt designed for regular ties, but honestly it looked fine. I just beamed at his generosity.) Witnessing these milestones make me so happy!!! Now if I can just get him to pass math, with 3 Fs and one quarter left to bring his grade up. 😖
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TarheelMichelle, your son is so handsome. Your post is touching. I am so happy you have experienced the milestones with your son. I have happy tears welling up in my eyes!
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JFL-What a little cutie! I'll bet he brings you so much joy everyday! I really think my children are what keeps me going, my youngest son is still at the age where mom is really cool and I love his little hugs. And I love the UW onsie My oldest daughter went there last year. She is at home this year taking a year off because she has been sick. Although I love to have her here, it has been stressful trying to get her diagnosed and treated. But that's off track......your little man is darling!Tarhee-Your son looks so darling in his tux! I agree, it is so nice to think at each milestone how fortunate we are to be here. It helps when I get sentimental about them growing up just to realize how grateful I am to be here to see it. And the school stuff.....it's always a work in progress to get them to think about their grades at any age!
Well ladies, I am enjoying the sunshine today, and my mood seems to be on the upswing. I made it to yoga
I am still on the fence about the antidepressant. I hear some take Lexapro or Celexa. Or maybe it's just more of an anxiety thing and I should just ask to try Buspar. I just hate adding one more med into the mix, plus I don't want to have to deal with any more crappy side effects!0 -
starbrightlyshines,
Go Huskies! I hope your daughter will have the chance to return once her health issues resolve/improve. I see you are from Walla Walla. So pretty there in the Fall with the leaves! You are right, my son brings so much joy. I forget about my cancer dx often because I am so focused on him. I am still a bit in denial about all this but maybe that is okay.
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Thanks for sharing the prom picture! Really makes my day!
Having some difficulties with my 17 year old son. He's just such a grouch and has been fighting with his Dad. He sprained his ankle yesterday and was depressed about having to sit out on Track and Soccer. He is better with me but every day is a challenge. Glad I am here to help smooth the way. I seem to be able to calm him down and get him to focus.
I hope to have pictures to post of his Junior prom. The picture below is of his 17th birthday with our daughter who is a Junior at UC Berkeley.
Hugs, Susan
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Susan, what a beautiful family photo. I can see such love and happiness and that makes me glad. Precious moments. I hope you have many more of them
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love all the pics! Precious!
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Susan your kids are beautiful. My kids have a 1/4 Japanese. My oldest looks very Asian, my daughter got Asian shaped eyes that are as blue as the sky, my youngest looks Mexican. My hubby is 1/2 Mexican and 1/2 Japanese. I'm mostly Irish with native and other stuff mixed in. Hate filling out demographic information. 😊JFL your baby is so cute. My little guy was 6 mo when we started this mess. I have to think about that husky onesie. My sister graduated from their pharmacy program, but I am too close to wsu craziness too.
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Thanks Fujimama! I was wondering about the genesis of your login name.
My kids were 2 and 6 when I was first diagnosed and now they are 17 and 21 (in a few days)! This is a picture just before I was first diagnosed. Life goes on!
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I was just diagnosed with bone mets. I have an 8 year old son. I want to make as many memories as possible. where do I begin?
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kaluha-
this will seem like a simple statement but start making memories each day. Take each day at a time and enjoy all the little things. That is how I get by. I enjoy every day I have with my children and husband. I take notice of their smiles, their laughter and continue to do all the mommy things I used to do. I try to stay present in their lives so on the bad days I just snuggle with them. I make them laugh, I make them cry. I am just mom. And you are a great one to your son. That is all he needs. I will confess that I did take a trip to Australia a year ago with my family. I do plan some vacations and experiences now instead of the future so that I can share these experiences with my family. I try to balance things I want to share with my family with real life. You will find your flow.
Hugs
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Susan- I love the pictures too! It is so nice to put faces all of you here and see photos of your family. I would post a pic but I don't know how. Too bad I can't to it directly from my iPhone because that is about all I can do. I hear you on the teenage boy. My son is almost 16 and has his first girlfriend and is all of a sudden pushing all the boundaries and seems mad at me all the time. It is really hard to be a strong parent when you don't feel strong, and because of this disease I am so find myself giving in more than I would normally do. And I know in the long run that is not doing anyone any favors. I am glad to see you were diagnosed several years ago, that gives us all hope! I am 2 1/2 years in.......hoping for many more!
Kahlua-the beginning diagnosis is such a shock. I think I cried almost daily for the first year or so. I don't want to say it gets better with time, but in a way it does. Once you get started on a treatment plan and see all the women here who have been here for years, it really helps. I didn't realize a Stage IV diagnosis meant treating it like a marathon, not a sprint. Once I understood that analogy, and that it can be treated like a chronic condition, that helped change my perspective a bit. My youngest son was just 4 when I was diagnosed, he had just started preschool, and my oldest daughter was a senior in high school (plus 3 others in between
). I could not believe it was happening to me. I was diagnosed because of severe stomach pains that sent me to the ER, several days later I came home diagnosed with MBC. I thought I was healthy until then! But almost overnight I couldn't keep any food down and quickly lost 25 lbs. It was really scary. But after chemo and tamoxifen the mets shrunk and I improved. So there is hope, a lot of of it. You can PM me anytime to talk, sometimes it is just a matter of putting one foot in front of the other and just moving forward. Distraction helps, and so do anti-anxiety meds.MamaRay-sending you hugs. The emotional aspects are so hard. I am 2 1/2 years in and so grateful for each milestone with my family. My daughter just had her senior prom and we are deep in the middle of high school graduation plans. Everytime I get sentimental about her graduating, I just remember how I felt when I was diagnosed and it just makes me happy to be here to see it. My youngest son was 4 when I was diagnosed, he just turned 7. When I get overwhelmed by things I tell myself to just concentrate on this day. I can handle this day. I find I can handle today, and I'll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. I also put things off if I get overwhelmed. Sometimes just giving myself a pass on returning a phone call or scheduling something until the next day really helps. And when I have a really bad day I will just give myself some quiet time in my room to watch Netfix (just a distraction I know, but sometimes I just have to give my mind a break). My children have kind of learned a new kind of normal at home, and although I wouldn't wish for it, it works somehow. At least for today. This is a crazy month so I am not looking too far in the future.
Sending hugs to all of you mamas!
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star. - you can post pics in here from your iphone. I do all the time. Just click in the image above last option top row then click choose file, choose existing and it will bring up your photos. Let me know if you can't figure it out. Would be glad to help
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Hi ladies, these are my 2 kiddos. Oliver is now 3 and Karina is now 7. This photo was taken a few months ago. Oliver is in daycare and Karina in school while I TRY to keep working. Forgot to add my kids are half Japanese!
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Cj - your kiddos are adorable.
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Thanks Patty! That's who I'm fighting for nowadays! How can I not?
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Welcome Cjanet- your kids are so cute! And you tooPatty-do I need to download pics from my phone to my computer? Sorry to sound crazy, but I don't even know where to start.
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cj - I. agree
Star - no you don't have to download pics first. Above on the same line as bold, italics choices pick the pic at the end of the line. Then at the top of the page it will say insert photo about mid page it says choose file, click on that then click choose existing and it will bring up your pics from your iphone. Just click on the pic you want to post and it will appear. Hope this helps.
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