Mothers with school aged children
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ditto! Thank you!
We usually start school around the middle of August, but this year it starts Monday! Now I truly know what it is like to set a goal and meet it. My dd was 18 months when I was diagnosed. She will start kindergarten Monday! I have so many emotions about that but I can't really put it into words right now. My ds who was in 3rd grade will be going to 7th grade! And playing football (ahhh!)
To speak about the writing of letters...I still haven't written any. It will be 4 years next month. I am still on my first line of treatment. It has taken me a LONG time to get to where I am mentally and emotionally, so I feel I would slip back into a black hole. I would of course write the letters in a positive position. It's just not time yet. For me at least.
So momma's--how about posting pics of first day of school!
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KJones!!!!!! I am so celebrating with you that your baby at dx is now in kindergarten. Kindergarten is big time emotional for any mama but here...I am tearing up right along with you because this holds a lot more. It gives me so much hope that I'll see my 8th grader graduate from high school and I want to see my 2nd grader do the same. I do hope I can hold onto my first line as long as you. I've got a year now.
I don't know if I ever posted this before but I haven't written any letters either. I do want to but the time never seems right and I have so much trouble writing into the future but not knowing how far into the future. Anyway, I worked out an idea I like at Christmas. I gave each girl a nice journal and wrote the first entry explaining that it was a Mommy and Me Journal. We exchange it back and forth underneath our pillows. I get to tell them things I want them to always know in current time. I like the idea that while they'll not remember all the things we said or did together, they'll have our conversations and record of special things we did together in the journal forever. I also like the comfort that if I don't ever get to the letters (sometimes I fear I'll get ill too fast and not have the time I wanted to spend writing), they'll always have the journal or journals, as I hope it will end up having to be.
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kaayborg- I absolutely love the journal idea. My 9 y/o daughter and I are very close. I was diagnosed with MBC 5 months ago, and have decided with my DH not to tell her anything until my condition worsens. She took my primary BC dx very hard, and I can't imagine how she'd deal with this now. I'm lucky to only have bone mets at this point, no pain, and my Ibrance/Faslodex/Xgeva and Herceptin seem to be working. TM's have dropped in half in 3 months, and my MO is already starting to talk about extending the time between scans if things stay the same after my September scans. She knows my bones are "funky" from my meds, and that's the reason I go for tests.
We've been enjoying the end of summer, and she started 4th grade yesterday. I just want to keep giving her the most normal childhood as possible.
Debie
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KJones, congrats on the kindergarten milestone!!! Such a great story to hear. I hope to make it there (and much further).
Kaayborg, the shared journal is a great idea. I haven't done anything yet for the same reasons you mention . . . But am also worried things might come swift and severe when it is "that time". I hope I don't get caught off guard but am just not ready yet.
Debie, your daughter is so sweet! Happy smile.
My little guy (20 months) starts preschool on Monday. It is essentially an alternative to daycare because he is so young but it is nevertheless his first day of school and I can't wait to see him in his little uniform!
I don't know about any of you but I find it difficult to bargain with myself (e.g., "If I can stick around until he is old enough to have some memory of me or see him to kindergarten, that is all I ask for"). No compromise is enough for me and I am so sad that it is a reality that my time with my son will be cut short. For some reason, I find it harder now, over a year and a half since mets diagnosis, than in the beginning. Maybe that is because I have experienced one treatment failure and have seen many women on these boards pass since then. It always seems like a surprise when/how it all happens. No matter how many women I have seen pass since my early stage dx 11 years ago, I never feel like I am any closer to understanding the path of this disease when it takes a turn for the worst. It is an unpredictable beast.
I pray for all of us and everyone on these boards. Pray for more time, more meds to hold this disease at bay until a cure or predictably long-term treatment is found. Pray that our families will heal from the pain of a stage 4 dx while we are still alive as well as when we are gone. And pray that our children will remember us as a positive inspiration when they find themselves missing us, to give them strength to go for their dreams and give them resilience to weather the storms they will face in life. I also pray that our loved ones will find other sources of love and support, to fill the void we leave, all the while celebrating and remembering the positive, one-of-a-kind memories they have with us.
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Beautiful prayer, JFL.
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'Tis
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I was diagnosed stage 4 when my kids were 3 and 1. Now they are 13 and 11. I have been on treatment the past 10 years with ups and downs but I never thought I would see them grow to be this old. While I often get sad that they are not little anymore, I am happy that they are getting to grow up with their mom. I would like to see both out of high school, but that would mean a total of 17 years at stage four, so here's hoping!
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here is to hoping. There is no reason to not reach for the sky. We all deserve that.
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Jan, congrats on 10 years!!! Gives us hope. Here is to making it to see your kids graduate high school! Can I ask where your mets are?
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Love hearing the happy news!
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glad to see this thread revived. So many of us have school aged children. Loving all the pics.
Kjones aww your baby is in kindergarten. How exciting. Impressive you are 4 years out and still on your first tx. Praise God!
My boys are 14 and 11. Ds1 is going tomorrow for his 2nd attempt at drivers permit so excited to be alive to see this goal being met. Here's to many more goals reached.
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Wow, so many milestones! Congrats, Kjones, Jan and Patty. Love to hear 10 years, Jan. That'll be me next year!
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heidi. 9 years. Very impressive. Love to read stuff like that !!!!
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Congrats on 10 years Jen! Keeping going for your dreams! There are people who have lived over 20 years with Mets. I plan on being here for AT LEAST 25 years. My daughter needs me. She is 10 years old.
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singlemom. Great attitude !
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love all the talk about 10 years and more!!!
Here's my dd, ds, and dh. Kindergarten, 7th grade, 12th year of teaching
And one of me and my sweet baby girl!
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Awe! I just love seeing pics of you all! Here are my gals on the first day of school. 2nd grade, 5th grade and 8th grade. It's my 17th year of teaching!
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I love seeingthese first day of school pictures. They are such a testament to the normal lives we are all trying to preserve and create for our kids. And with those smiles, I'd say you are succeeding. We don't go back until the 6th; stay tuned!
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love all the pics. Some good looking families
Kjones. Love the pics. You look so young and beautiful. How is dad liking kindergarten. What are you doing all day with your free time ?
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First day of 3rd and 4th grade!!!
My little was mad and kept cring " I go to school"
They keep me smiling. Life is good when I look at them.
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sweet pictures! They are just all so huggable!! My dd LOVES school (so far)! My ds got hurt yesterday in football. He's been at his dad's house so I will see him tomorrow and see the damage. They were doing a hitting drill and the other kids helmet hit my ds's right forearm. Sounds painful! My husband is enjoying his classes (he teaches pe...which is good because he's a big kid himself!). He also coaches football at a high school. Let's see...in the last 3 years they have won 3 games. It's awful! So discouraging.
We recently moved (just one county over) and we have hit the jack pot with our new neighbors! They are our age and have kids too! They are so sweet, so kind. We are taking turns taking and picking up the kids from school! On the days that I have taken them to school, I get up and go all day! This morning she took the kids and I went back to sleep and was lazy the rest of the day. I'll try again tomorrow (she is taking again in the am). I do have things I need to get done...or even started would be an accomplishment
Sending hugs to you momma's!
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kjones. Hoping your ds is ok. Football can be so dangerous indeed
Here's a pic of my ds's. Both were unhappy. Ds2 didn't want to get his new shoes wet since it was raining and was mad I wouldn't let him carry them and put them on in the car. Ds1 mad that he couldn't ride the bus with friends. Our tradition is to drive them and pick then up the first day. Always go celebrate with dessert somewhere. Ugh. He will spend many days wanting to be driven but not this day apparently.
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ds1 with his new required haircut. So tired of seeing hair in his eyes. He is going thru the stage of wanting to be a rock n roll drummer. He is actually very good at drumming and his best buddie plays lead guitar. They are trying to get a band together and since drums are hardest to move that means practicing here. Trying to talk dh into sound proofing shed and moving music equipment out there.
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love all these pictures of all the kids on their first day back. Would love to put some of my girls when they go back tomorrow but youngest is always so grumpy in the mornings ( not a morning person) that I don't think it would do her justice but we'll see. Barbar
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Just read on the Angels List that Romansma died two days ago. She was such a lovely woman and a dedicated Mom of five kids, youngest around 9. So sad.
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Susan--it is so sad! The last I remember her posting, on this thread, she had just returned from a trip to Mexico with her kids. No dh. Just kids. She said she highly recommends going with kids alone because the dynamics are so different. Hope was so kind. Always helpful and supportive. I pray for her family and those left here in this world who will have to live with the pain of losing her. Makes me hug my kids a little tighter. Love to you all
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so sad indeed. Hope was one of the first people on bco that I started talking to via text. I had seen a bumper sticker I wanted but had to order a minimum of 12. I ordered them then gave them away at my cancer center and here. Hope wanted one this began our texting. It said. " My mom kicked cancers ass ". We laughed because our youngest would love an excuse to use the word ass without getting in trouble lol. She will be missed.
Seems like school just started and already out for a long weekend. Yea ! Could do this every week
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At long last the first day of school has arrived. 6th (middle school!!!) and 4th grades. So excited for them and grateful for such a great school community.
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today dh picked up ds1 for follow up orthopedic surgeon from his broken collarbone. All is healing well. No surgery needed. Great news. However the bad news is his teacher met dh in the office to say that 4 weeks into school hehas a 0 in math. Wth ??? Apparently he hasn't done any homework and has been goofing off in class Instead of working. He got a zero on a test. Didn't do anything except his name. Math has always been a struggle for him and if he gets a overall grade of C and he tried his best we are happy. All other subject is A and B's. He is very shy and has never ever been even verbally reprimanded at school. So this was a total shock. The school has the gradebook on line for us to use but they don't assign this year's password until parent teacher conferences after nine weeks. Ds1 is in serious trouble. Everyday we discuss what happened at school and do homework at the table together.hehas said he Finished it during study hall. Not like him to lie. Don't understand how he thought he could hide this. So it looks like I am gonna be busy with him every night trying to catch up in math. I hate math also, exp fractions. Hello Google
Hugs
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Patty, my son struggled in math in high school. He is a college freshman now. During his junior year, I was paying two different college students to tutor him, plus tutoring with the teacher after school. I felt the same as you, how does my son think he can hide these terrible grades and why isn't he even trying??
It wasn't until after graduation that my son felt comfortable telling me what the problem was. He didn't like the teacher at all, and was generally unhappy during class. I'm not saying this is what is going on with your son, but it's a possibility, especially if your son is doing well in other classes. Math isn't my son's best subject and I guess he just didn't feel comfortable telling me how awful the class was, or maybe he just didn't know. He was just stressed about the class all the time. Looking back, I don't know what I could have done differently. Regardless, math is a subject he had to pass. I should have gone to the classroom and talked face to face instead of just email. It was a whole year of the teacher complaining about all the students. I just kept thinking it was an intelligence issue but I think it was a personality issue.
I wish you and your family the best.
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