Unilateral mastectomy & reconstruction
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My thoughts/feelings exactly:
" I have only one boy and he means everything to me and when I see any parent lose a child I completely break down because it seems to me the one heartbreak that would never heal. It might just rank as my highest fear of all. I am so sorry about what happened to your son and your family."
Jeanie - (((hugs))) to you!
Sparkle - excellent post! Especially about the vacation time to treat all of this. I'm hosting Thanksgiving this year and everyone is asking if I am taking Wednesday off to prepare. My answer "I would love to take Wednesday off, but I have no time left". It stinks that I had to use all of my "vacation" time recuperating in a lazy boy watching daytime TV - arghhhh! (Jerry, Jerry). Having no sick time left either, every time I have a Dr. appointment, I have to make up my time which makes for extra long days.
On the bright side, I booked our vacation for February to get out of this snowy tundra, it is way to early for all of this snow, but it does give me something to look forward too. Can't wait to say hello to 2015 and kick 2014 to the curb!!!!
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Scary-
It's hard to not be able to exercise properly! Any idea when you'll be able to raise your arms all the way? Also, did you have a drain this time around? Sending you healing thoughts!
Jeannie- my friend lost her 18 year old son, 3 years ago, in a freak ski accident, he was a wonderful wonderful boy and the apple of her eye- big big hugs-
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Well, MO think I really should do the chemo since this is my second go round. Also PR was only weakly positive so can't count on full effect of hormones.
This means I could be living with the rock on my chest until NEXT AUGUST. If I accelerate the cycles and take Neulasta I could be done in March and be able to have surgery in last May. Except my friend who had chemo last year said the hardest part for her was the Neulasta, which made her feel like she had the flu for a couple of days. Having the feeling of the flu every two weeks sounds like a miserable way to go through the winter.
Hmm...extra toxic shit in my body or a summer with a misshapen chest with a rock foob?
You really got to be kidding me with this cancer stuff. One crappy decision after another.
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hi momwriter. i had a drain on both sides this time around. my next follow-up is in three weeks, so hopefully they will give the okay to do more exercise, plus the ps said he will check for seromas and drain them if necessary, since the internal stitches should be dissolved by then.
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Fourminor, I'm sorry you're faced with chemo and have to put off surgery. For what it's worth, I had adriamyacin and took the Neulasta shot every two weeks- (is that what you mean?) it didn't bother me at all. I took Claritin the day before, day of and day after- advice I got on these boards (and my MO said fine). But it is true that the worst days of the cycle were around day 3,4,&5, but I'm pretty sure it was due to the steroids wearing off and not the Neulasta.
Scary, sounds like things are coming along slowly and steadily. But it's never easy with any aspect of this crap- you still have to be kind of steely to get through it all--
That's another reason I have put off my exchange- don't want it to interfere with yoga-- I suppose at the very least I can still do Shavasena:)
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Fourminor - I am so sorry to hear that you will be facing chemo - here's praying you will be on the fortunate side of things and suffer very little, if any, side effects. When all is said and done, you will feel relieved knowing that you did all you can to kick cancer to the curb once and for all! Thinking of you (((hugs))).
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I also did Chemo-18 weeks of taxotere and carboplatin, along with perjeta and herceptin...and did the neulesta shot with each cycle. I had heard nightmare stories about neulesta and was scared to death of it-actually begged my onc not to give it to me. But I came up with a 101.4 temperature and he insisted to keep me protected and my blood levels up to keep me out of the hospital. I never felt anything on the neulesta shots-not everyone does-so maybe you will also not feel anything. The chemo was not fun, but very doable. I worked full time thru the whole process.
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I just want to say Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! Thanks for your support and kind wishes! I wish you all a comfortable, happy, stress-free day of gratitude!
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While I haven't posted much lately because of work, home, and family issues, I've been closely following how you all are doing.
Frostecat, glad you booked a vacation. February was the month I was first diagnosed, the day after my birthday, so please have a fruity cocktail for me while you're there (I apologize if you don't drink).
Fouminor, so sorry you're facing chemo. I'm hoping that you are one of the people who gets through it with as few difficulties as possible.
I thought I would update my current status. I had an appointment with my oncologist on Monday and he found a lump on my reduced side, which I can also feel. He ordered a diagnostic mammogram with US and biopsy if needed. Mammo and US detected a 1cm mass and I have a biopsy scheduled for next Tuesday. While they think there's a good chance it could be scar tissue, the report mentioned a "high suspicion of malignancy". While I'm trying to remain confident that it's scar tissue from the reduction, I am scared of something that might have grown that quickly while I'm taking Arimadex.
Ugh! I hate going through this stress again so soon!
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I am day 4 post op umx and recon...i only have 150cc in at the moment, the rest of the journey is making me a little nervous but glad to have you here to ask. I am going for a nip and tuck of the other one at the end ....knowing it will change and after a few years be different but i am not concerned about that right now. I am choosing not to reconstruct a nipple...if i cant feel it i would rather have a barbie boob (my daughter refrred to it as that - at 13 I think she has clever wisdom there LOL
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Welcome Tigger. Sorry you had to join us, but you'll find the company here is always supportive, gentle, and wise. I had my UMX about two months ago now, just had my last expansion yesterday. I think I'm going to skip the nipple recon and try to get a Vinny Myers 3D tattoo whenever I get to the end of this.....
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Scuba, basically scar tissue and malignant cells look very similar on ultrasound. I don't think they could possibly distinguish without a biopsy although the wording may have been done to make sure there was no dawdling.
Crossing my fingers for you.
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I've been MIA for a few days, I was hosting Thanksgiving for about 20 people, so I was rather busy. I offered to host it last year - little did I know the year I was in for!
Scuba - I know how you are feeling. It is almost scarier this time around because we know what we are in for. My PS wants me to come back in a couple of weeks, thinking my fat necrosis will eventually die off, well it's still there, so I'm still nervous about that.
I hope you all had a nice holiday.0 -
Scuba-
That's so scary- I'm sorry you are going through that. Last month when I had to get called back for more px for my mammo and then had to have ultrasound and they found little cyst that they want to aspirate I went back to that terrible place- I just almost fell apart. My MO put me back together.
I'm having it aspirated this week and I'm praying it's really only a cyst with nothing else. I'm in a better place than I was then. Tuesday I'm having the aspiration. I am going to have think of a mantra during the procedure. There's "please God, no" and there's "it's not in my hands" - I have no control over this... and there's "shit, shit, shit." I'll bring my iPod and listen to a story perhaps.
Before the aspiration I'm meeting with my PS about finally doing my exchange in January. Hoping to ask him questions like- how long is the surgery; how long is the recovery- how long without being able to do yoga; will I need a drain; I want an implant that's smaller than my TE- how do I know he's putting in the right size; do I need to get a special bra-- Would love it if anyone had ideas of other questions I should ask.
Frostecat- good for you for hosting Thanksgiving-Hope you didn't overdo it.
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I gotta ask this of you ladies: Am I ever going to be able to sleep on the reconstructed side again? Now that surgery is well healed and TE is fully expanded, it is not all directed straight forward, but a bit to the side and I can't lie full on that side without feeling like I'm on a tennis ball. The TE is pretty hard--if there is even a seam on a bra that I wear, it indents into my skin because the TE behind it is so unyielding. So turning onto it (forget lying face down or getting a massage) is terrible because it pushes into my ribs.
What would I do if I had both sides like this???? I am a side sleeper!
I'm hoping that when I do exchange this will be improved. Please give me hope.
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4 - I was never able to sleep on my side with the TE. I was hoping and told that once I had exchange that I would be able to. Not so much. For me personally, I try to prop a small pillow on that side so I don't roll on it, but some nights I must. For instance, Sunday I woke up in quite a bit of pain around the implant, especially on the side, and I do have days like that. The last couple have been better. I still feel it, it still hurts/bothers me and I keep hoping as time travels on, it will become like a cap on my tooth and you soon forget about it. My PS told me "you will have good bays and bad days" and that really rings true with me.
Personally, I have yet to sleep on my stomach, which I miss dearly, nor have I conjured up the thought of a massage. A few women seem to be able to do these things, but I am not one of them.
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I am able to sleep on my side since the exchange, but it took about 4 weeks. My back no longer lets me sleep on my stomach, but I haven't actually tried laying on my stomach yet. I wish I'd tried it before today's biopsy, but I will try it once that soreness goes away. I really like a back massage.
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When I get a massage, my girl brings in one of those pregnancy pillow type things for me. I has the cut out areas for your boobs and your stomach. I can drop my foob (and boob) down in those holes and get a really nice massage!! I can sleep on my stomach but only if I take 2 of those little travel pillows and tuck one under each armpit. This "lifts" me off the mattress a bit and I can get some sleep. For me, the Tamoxifen gives me joint/muscle pain at night and sometimes sleeping on my stomach, even if just for a little while, stretches my legs out and stops the aching.
Now ya'll have me thinking.....my BS said he's going to do a MRI in March (he does those every 3 years or so for all BC patients and 2 years for dense breasts like my remaining one) so I need to make sure it's like before where they have the holes in the table for your boobs to hang through. Otherwise, I'm going to need some cushioning!!
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MRI will have "wells" for your breasts to dangle into. They are actually antennas for the signal.
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hi guys u. Having te swap tomorrow along with a reduction on the other. What type of pain/recuperation should I expect? Will it be like the mx surgery? Getting nervous but happy to put this chapter behind me
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Njmom - Recovery is not nearly as bad as mx but not as simple as those getting exchange period. It seemed to me that my pain would exchange sides as to which one hurt the most at any given time. At first it was the exchange side, then switched over to the lifted side. Ultimately the most difficulty I had was with the scar on the lifted side. It runs right along where the bra band goes so trying to find a comfortable bra and not irritating that scar was troublesome. A lot of us here like the Bali Comfort Revolution bra model #3488 or #3484 (padded vs not). I purchased a couple a little larger so it wouldn't rub as much, but I just told myself the other day that I need to get my true size because they are almost too loose now.
You will be glad to get ride of that hard as rock tissue expander too!
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Frostecat, how is the lifted side scar healing for you? I am 5 months out from. Surgery for that and STILL waiting for burning and redness to go away for next surgery,,,, have lidocaine patches I cut into strips to wear for the day and cortisone/steroid strip for 12 hrs at night, no relief yet,,,, healing hugz to all.
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Jeanie- mine is doing pretty good. I still have redness on the scar areas, which I'm sure will take years to become lighter, but it really doesn't hurt any longer. The bra irritation is gone - yay!
My PS didn't want me to put anything on the scars and I didn't. They told me to keep it dry is all. One time early on, it looked a little red/infected one day and put some bacitracin on it, but other than that nothing.
Where I am at now is trying to learn to live with an implant. It still feels odd to me, I try to avoid sleeping on that side, because my implant seems to bother me the next day if I do, and sometimes I feel like the implant is "fighting" my body like it doesn't want to be there. Some days it feels really tight, some days not so much. I'm just learning to deal with it.0 -
Hi Frostecat,
Thanks for sharing your implant experience. Does the implant feel softer than the TE? Hope it starts to feel more at home:)
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So yesterday I went for chemo and I had an allergic reaction to the 5-FU.
I will not be doing chemo.
Now I am thrilled that I can schedule my exchange for the end of the winter.
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Fourminor, maybe it is not meant for you to do chemo; but at least you can take tamoxifen for some protection.
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I got good news yesterday. The lump on my lifted side was not cancer, but just tissue from the lift/reduction surgery. Whew! At least there's a titanium marker in it now, so they can keep an eye on it
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That's great news, Scubalady! What a relief. I just found out today that a cystish/lump was a fibroadenoma, so I'm feeling quite relieved myself! I also have the "souvenir" clip- I have PTSD about it from my dx, and I was tempted to refuse it, but didn't. After all, with a TE still on the left, what's a little clip?
But the whole crazy experience of worrying that I might have recurrence has made me consider taking off the healthy breast. Not sure where I'll end up with that one.
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Fourimor - glad no chemo is in cards now... Man upstairs had other idea for your treatment obviously,, hope you find comfort in knowing your body rejected it - it is protecting you
Mom writer - me too - I have postponed my TE exchange on RT and Lift to left side - my natural side - as decided best to be warm weather and best to get the mammo & U/s done at one year post DX point anyways before doing left LIFT as I may also say you know I worry about a recurrence in left so not sure I want to create scar tissue in it by lifting it - need time to decide or I may say take it off too... if they see anything suspicious - I am about to PMS badly and my left side I swear I feel a lump that I had not felt before tonight - I have dense breast tissue and lumpy but it scared me a LOT right now - thinking "oh shit" like oh shit could a lump have grown or been missed from June 2014 or suddenly rapidly grown in 6 months... now of course I wonder why feels so strange,,, I have to see if goes away after I have my monthly - - and will call my Breast surgeon and alert her,,, I am due to see her in January for a manual breast exam and touch base... going to pray and chant -
aerie makes lots great bras - this is cotton with soft straps - I am going to order a couple and TRY them - I love the straps http://www.ae.com/aerie/browse/product.jsp?productId=4447_7365_890&catId=cat4850006
put out your full moon wishes - now is the time to pray and put out what you hope for ,,,
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Sparkle,
That's exactly what my husband said to me when all the nurses finally stepped away. He said, your body is telling you not to do this.
I didn't want to do it either, it was just that since it might possibly have some benefit and MO felt i should, I figured I would at least try it. I told her though that I would stop if there was any problem. Well, I didn't even get to the third med.
I am going to call another MO on Monday, someone I know from my old job and get a second opinion now and if she agrees with no chemo will move onto Tamoxifen. Am interested in the addition of ovarian suppression.
I seriously hope I never need chemo because that was terrible and I never want to feel like that again. It was worse then when they were cranking up the pitocin on me when I was being induced for labor. I don't like taking medication in general, not even painkillers. I'm making do right now with vitamin D, melatonin, and DIM. I do know that i need to be more active but its hard when I am working five days a week and come home to my almost 4 year old who hasn't seen me all day and is going to bed in 2 hours. Its also dark and cold now. Hubs and I are planning to get an elliptical for the basement after Christmas for our 5 year anniversary. And I miss my yoga.
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