Starting chemo August 2014
Comments
-
hello from Santiago! Arrived this morning and have pretty much done nothing but sleep eat and shop for flip flops. Tough work week ahead of me but I am determined to take it easy
feel extra fat and bloated today, I ate all the plane food (two meals and snacks) and drank wine at dinner today. On Saturday I hear the office will take us to a winery tour, I'm going to try and keep it minimal till then. Oh and guess what the only thing they did not have that was on the menu: the sea bass! Justamy your vacation sounds awesome, I'm glad you had so much fun. Those spots do sound weird especially with fever, I would still ask the onc
Kellog love the photo from the plane. Friend of mine went there last year and the pics they took were amazing too. I really hope to go there one day. Enjoy your time and lots of Guinness
Terri, great pic, and great to see you are doing well
Bippy, congrats on new job. I am still laughing at "deportation". As someone who only recently became a US citizen, I never thought I could look forward to deportation.
Cassie' I've been asking the same. Think 17 is one year. My 16th will be mid July, onc gave appointment that day to see if that would be the last and if not one more I guess. I would prefer to complete the 17 after waiting for so long what is another 3 weeks. I am done with 14 so far.
Eileen nasty bosses totally suck, hope she is gone soon and you don't have to deal with her.
Take care sweet ladies
0 -
Hi everyone. Nothing exciting with me, but I want you to know I follow all the time and keep up with all your posts
0 -
Justamy - Did u see ur Dr about the dots? I am having terrible joint pain and think it's the Arimidex. Going to see MO next week. Taking calcium and Vit D right along. I'm thinking they may have to change the hormone pills.
LadyB - I didn't see a post on results of mamo from you. Hoping all is alright.
Going to meet a wedding planner this wknd out in LI. Will visit w some friends afterwards.
Wishing everyone good days ahead
0 -
Catie, I have not found out about the dots. I called MO yesterday and am still waiting for her to get back to me. Sigh....The Arimidex gives me joint pain too from time to time. It really stinks. Hope you get relief soon. Hugs.Amy
0 -
Hi!!! We are still in Ireland. Took a week before I got and inappropriate comment! Totally surprised me that it took so long. But we are having fun and my son is being great! He has endured many late nights visiting family and hanging out in pubs! We drove out of the city yesterday and today!
0 -
Kellogg= Such beautiful pictures. Ireland is no on my bucket list. Sounds like you are having a fantastic time
Checked cancer off as done that=Check
0 -
Still here, had a great massage today. Ct scan of lungs and MRI are done. See onco on Thursday. I looked at my brain scan and it looks clear. I can't really tell looking at the lung disc....except it isn't totally clear. Hopefully he will say it's stable
0 -
beatmon, so glad to hear the brain scan is clear and praying that your lung is at least stable. Keep us updated.
Kellog- amazing pictures!
0 -
Dear all,
It's so nice to hear about traveling, planning weddings, moving on.
We are wrapping up a Hawaii vacation in the wonderful Bay Area before returning home on Saturday. In Hawaii, I found that I was willing to do things I would have been scared to do before - like zip lining, ocean kayaking, swimming under a waterfall, volunteering to hula dance in front of a crowd (OK, I did that mostly to embarrass my 13-year-old). Last year, I wouldn't have attempted any of this. But it dawned on me that nothing is as terrifying as a BMX and chemo, and I survived that, so why not take the risk and have some fun! It was a wonderful vacation.:)
Hope we all continue to live large.
0 -
Bbeatmon, so glad to hear that your brain scan is clear. I am continuing to pray for lungs to be stable and reduced.
Kellog, love the pictures
Nottoday, sounds like you are having a wonderful time! Enjoy. I live in the Bay Area and the weather is wonderful right now! So enjoy.
Mammo clear, Yay! Sorry for not posting results but went into a solitude state and just spent time reflecting and praying. 6/9/14 I was DX and last year at this time I and each of you were sent into a worldwind of scans, test, and as each of you know the world was turned upside down. So thankful to be NED at this time and started my bucketlist! I have checked the thread but just didn't post anything. I reflected on the past year and see how many fiends and family have either been touched by cancer or have been DX with cancer.
Eileen agree == checked cancer off my bucket list and now going to live life fuller than I ever have. I am just happy to be here and able to reflect and adjust my sails! God Bless All.
0 -
Beatmon, glad the brain scan looks clear! Hoping for a good report on your lung scan.
Angie, so glad your mammo was clear! I go back in this August. My dx came 8/19, after a mammo on 8/12 and biopsy on 8/14. I'm looking forward to celebrating being NED!
0 -
Beatomon and LadyB - Glad to hear the good news for both of you. Congrats!
Stopped taking Arimidex yesterday. Nurse left me a message to stop until Imeet with MO next Friday to see if joint pain subsides. I feel like I'm 80 with my aches and pains.
Nottoday - I also found myself snorkeling on vacation, which is totally out of my comfort zone normally. I am not an ocean person. Cancer certainly changes things.
0 -
Nottoday= Just have FUN!!! Your new motto
Beatmom= Yeah you. Repeat NED,NED,NED In my thoughts and prayers
Ladyb= Yeah you!!!!!!
My cancer birthday was 2 days ago. I feel like what a year. Seems almost surreal. Had my 6 month mammo in Feb. Next one in Sept. So, I am on coasting mood. I have found my anxiety which I always suffered with has kicked up a notch. Some nights having to take .5 mg of Lorazepam to fall asleep. My brain won't shut down. Still having chemopause. Mostly at night. I keep saying "everything is ok for right now. Stay in the moment"
Wishing all great weekend
P.S. I did everything before now I am more hesitant. Opposite of you guys
0 -
hi all! Great for Beatmon and ladyb. What a relief and great news. Beatmon, stable is good. I forgot if I posted my bone marrow results? Neg for disseminated tumor cells.great news. I think i did, but chemo brain, you know? I went to get my first supression shot yesterday. Walked there and halfway back...three miles! Hoping the zoladex will stop the horrible periods I am having every two weeks. It's like the forth one in nine weeks. Enjoying the kids, hand healing well, with good range of motion. I just need to stop hitting the chocolate, and lose weight. Finally got a non underwire bra. Still having sensitivity/pain under my Breasts from reduction. Second rads setup appt tues afternoon. It may take a while to redo the tattoo in the center of my chest. It didn't take! All the vacation stories sound fabulous. It's going to be awhile for me. Wondering how I'll feel on Femara and how I'll feel to be done with this active treatment stuff. Depressed? Tiredness? Weak? Trying to get strong and active again. My body feels like it aged a lot in the past year. Well, it has, huh?hugs and high fives
Oh. Re bucket list and Cancer...I read a story on a woman that turned 106 the other day. It said she had cancer twice! How awesome is that?! To get Cancer, go through treatment twice, and still live until 106? Her secret. Don't complain a lot. Love it. Hope
0 -
Hi my chickies!
I can relate to all this stuff, the bucket list, the new zest for life, the remnants of our tx, and am so happy to hear of the trips, the milestones and the LIVING we are doing. My bucket list is a joy to add to, and to cross chit off of. For giggles, here is my blog post about Perjeta, our dear pal. Hope you like it! All true, it is...
------------
Let's get the awkward part out of the way. My love affair with Perjeta was brief, intense, lifesaving and ruinous. By the end, I will be broken in body and spirit, and longing for more. How will I survive without it, this powerful thing? Its properties are magical, immediate and astonishing. It will transform me. But like all transformations, there will be pain, unraveling and ugliness.
We are introduced by Drs. Nora and Silver on a hot day in August. I only know its proper name-uncharacteristically, I do no due diligence on my new lover. I let it inside me with no idea of its horrificly beautiful force. Within 4 days, it has taken me over. My body is no longer my own.
The tumors, multifocal is what Dr, Silver calls them, begin to die. The feeling is like electrical zaps, but it does not exactly hurt. Intuitively I realize that something magnificent is occurring in my body. I rejoice because I know this is good. It's worth it, the nausea, the fatigue, the feeling of being overcome with poison. It cannot get worse, right? Then the diarrhea begins.
Diarrhea is in no way sufficient to describe the experience.
There is about a 10 second interval between urge and purge. There is no warning, no cramps, no time. Unlike normal bowel function, there is no freaking way to control this tide. Any attempt to clench my sphincter is laughable, and meets with embarrassing failure. My hallway will get lots of clorox moppings, and lots of clothes tossed out. Perjeta may be a cancer assassin but it will make you shit yourself, your car, and vast portions of your home during the process. Soon I am calling myself Olympic shitting champion! I call out my accomplishments to my husband during the worst times, as I white-knuckle the bowl and shudder in relief. "And.......there she goes! She has eaten nothing for days, yet look at the river of crap! And the trajectories! The splattering! She's going for the gold!"
My husband, poor bastard, humors me by shouting back sick encouragment, then tosses in some air freshener. It repeats this way after each treatment, for months. So by the time we part ways, Perjeta and I have loved, hurt and healed each other. I cannot ever forget the time we spent together.
So......remember. Ride the Perjeta wave, if it is offered. It is like that roller coaster you are in awe of, yet terrified by. Expect thrills and terror, and to lose a part of yourself. But maybe if you and I are lucky, it will leave us with a little bit of something to remember in old age.
0 -
Bippy I love the piece, but feel so sad that you had to endure that. I'm glad it shrunk up those pesky cells, but just awful. Glad you could find the humor in it, and your hubby is a champ too. It must be a scary feeling to be housebound and almost bathroom bound, with no warning, thank god you're in FL, land of the tile floors. Imagine if you had carpet? You'd have to live in the bathroom, or get a commode by the bed.
0 -
LOL, ahhhhh
Memories!
I am learning so much about blogging, the site is better each day with new pics!
Am posting my stuff from last year.....it is sad, happy and scary to read my old posts. I do not recognize that woman sometimes
0 -
have it bookmarked Bippy! Love reading it.
0 -
Just checking in and saying good morning. Hope you're all having a good week! We leave Saturday to take DD to DC for her ballet program - exciting stuff!
0 -
cassie, have a wonderful trip! Never been to DC, it is on my bucket list. Best wishes for DD to have awesome time.
On travel, is anyone here going to San Fran on July 8th for the Genentech patient board? i may be. Yes Gatomal and I will be sharing a glass of cheer. Wooohooo! Never been, hope they pick me!
0 -
Maybe I need to make plans for a road trip to SF! It's only about 6 or 7 hours to drive it, I think.
0 -
Cassiecat - Where is the show in DC? My DD lives right near there. Sounds very exciting.
Did I mention I attending the Survivorship a few weeks ago. It was a nice day. Met up with a few nurses that I actually didn't recognize at first in street clothes. Ha! Both me and DH got hand massages. Spoke w people that go back every year. So it's an annual event. Ate some decent food and best of all got my DH out of the house. At that point of his recovery it was necessary. He put some weight back on and started PT today. He's feeling much stronger and has more stamina.
Meeting up w MO Friday to discuss alternative to Arimidex. My joints hurt much less since stopped taking it. Definitely was the cause
0 -
Bippy, sorry to tell you I think they already gave me the gold medal from perjeta and herceptin for diarrhea! Sorry girlie. You can have the silver. I am your elder!
Xoxo Brenda
0 -
so I had my second sim today? Or planning session, dry run, whatever you call it. I start tomorrow. The tape they put on my chin to keep my head up stunk so badly, I felt sick, I asked them to change it. It was okay at first, but then kept going on so long, and the machine got closer and closer for X-rays, and was actually pushing into my arm at one point. I felt like it was going to crush me. Then they came on and took flash photos. What an awful day. I starting crying on the table, and then I just felt so embarrassed. Haven't I already done the hard stuff? I thought this was the easy stuff. Maybe it's because I had my ovarian supression shot four days ago, and started my Femara last night, but frankly, I've felt fine so far. Then everyone in the waiting room could tell I was crying and was staring. It's like, you guys have Cancer too. Then I was changing and someone in the next changing room says "are you okay?" I weakly said yes. It's kind, but I didn't want to cry to a stranger. Everybody seems like it's no big deal. To me it seems so much more abstract than chemo or surgery. It's this giant mysterious machine, and a giant lead vault door. I wouldn't know if I was getting 100 times or 1/100 of what I'm supposed to be getting. What do ROs do anyway? Plug some measurements into a computer? It's hard for me to get my arms around, and maybe that's why it's so much scarier. I'm also not happy about getting my supraclavicular nodes irradiated. Too close to my head. At least I walked there and back, and had a good cry on the way back. How did you guys do it? Did it just not bother you all?
0 -
Gatomal the first two were the worst for me and I felt just like you. I had to take Ativan, and I cried and was terrified. Somehow, over time, it got better. It will get better for you too, I know it. ((hugs))
0 -
So sorry to hear about your radiation sim experience, Gatomal. Sounds like it was the perfect storm, with the added drugs. Understand your emotions totally! I wonder about the attraction of RO because it seems so math and algorithm focused. Hang in there, prayers for an improved experience. You have been through so much!
Hugs from across the bay
0 -
Brenda, we are two of a kind! Heard about the ladies who lunch? Welcome to the ladies who s$&t! we are all us, champions.
Cassie, yes! ROADTRIP.
Catie, love the Survivorship meeting. Glad DH is healing so well and that your joint pain is so improved.
Gatomal, radiation is a bizarre tx. You described it perfectly--abstract. It's so unlike all the other stuff. I felt the same way initially too, it was hard, that first sim. I cried and cried on the table. And then very raw and emotional all throughout. I remember being angry and tearful at each tx. It seems like it will never end, but it does and you will make it! Can you take 1/2 a valium before tx? That helps.
0 -
Cassiecat=Have a great time on your trip. What fun. Yes,exciting
Gatomal= I did not find radiation bad at all. Don't know why. Loved my techs and really loved my RO. Yes,creepy at first to lie on that table and hold the bar above my head. Nothing compared to chemo. Never had them put tape on me. I think I wrote that every time I went I just tried to put my head somewhere else. I would SCREAM "RUN" as they left the room. Then proceed to think about some where great I had been in my life. Good luck sweetie.
Went for GYN appointment today. Occult blood test was positive. So, was informed I need colonoscopy. Then went to GP for full physical. Tried to not be too anxious. WoW!! Colon cancer too. He told me I need endoscopy and colonoscopy. Full set of blood work. Only positive news was chemo gave me the BIG C and I have never fully recovered from that. Told most likely hemorrhoid. Also, blood work would show a decrease in my hematocrit. Well,since I have had blood work every Monday for past 4 months and last draw 2 weeks ago. I know my counts are all ok. Still, I can't stand this. More test and more MD's. Have appointment with eye MD in am. If he says one thing not positive I'm going to lose it.
Selling my house and doing clean out of 33 years in Baltimore. That is super stressful and SO MUCH WORK!! I am a mini mess. An to top it off. Some one where I live in the summer who we just became more friendly with is hitting on my BF in front of me. Weird!! Had her over for dinner and she started to make comments that sorta under minded me. Told my BF in front of a group of people that I did not look people in the eye when a toast was made. Said that meant 7 years of bad sex for him. My BF said"another 7 years of bad sex" I am not worried about him at all. It was just another UNCOMFORTABLE situation. Sorry to write so much. Not feeling myself since seeing GYN this am. Really anxious.
0 -
((Gatomal)) Im so sorry about the radiation hell. I didn't have to do it but it makes me nervous just thinking about it. I'm with the others...take some ativan/klonopin/Valium (whichever you have) before tx. I have to do that before any of the scans etc. I hate the machines.
Cassie: have fun in DC! I really liked it there when I went a lifetime ago ( I was 18).
Bippy: I love reading your posts and blog entries. You are so funny!
I am nervous about tomorrow. I have to see PS. I'm supposed to get nipple recon but I am very unhappy with my implants so I am going to talk to him about that. Hopefully I will get revision and get something to help with rippling and the flatness of them...among other things. I'm not getting nipples and tatoos on them the way they are now.
I am also Very tired. I sleep for like 10 hours a night. Then I get up for 4 or 5 hours then take a nap. I think it is the Arimidex. My psychiatrist thinks it's my depression getting worse but it doesn't feel like that. I'm not trying to escape; I'm just exhausted. Oh and they are going to give me a different hormone suppression shot next time because the one they are giving me now is causing the weird rash.
Talk to you all later. Hugs.
0 -
Eileen,
Some women are just vile. That beeeotch needs to check herself. She does not want The Bipster fired up on her ass! I do not understand these in your face highly sexually people. Uhhh, we don't care about your nasty bits, or how much you can Ho it up. Yet they always just neeeeeed to go there. She certainly has a high opinion of herself. Sorry about the new med crap, I know it is coming my way too.
Amy! Good luck and hope you get revision you are pleased with.
Bip is tired today was up all night. meh, going back to nap
0
