Starting chemo August 2014
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Day 4 post-chemo and doing pretty good with SEs. Slept most of the weekend and trying to stay ahead of GI SEs. Food taste terrible as usual but not much queasiness or nausea and crossing fingers it doesn't get worse and continue to manage SEs or minimal SEs. Hopefully, I will last at work tomorrow as fatigue is a bear. I did get out for a while today. I have a break before starting taxol so need to do some reading.
Walking dead, my daughter just pulled me into this series tonight. She wanted to watch a marathon but I fell asleep :-). And I love Zombie shows/movies.
Hugs All,
-angie
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good morning my dearest zombie pals,
justamy, haha, i missed the WD new show, was sleepin. Hope your eyes feel better today. Steroids do suck, i only get one with an infusion and hate that. Cannot imagine taking them as you have to.
Angie, glad the SEs are minimal for you. Hoping it continues!
So far this am, things okay, but coffee tastes off and slight GI issues. Slept pretty decent. No awful neulasta pain as of yet, but poppin a claritin soon to ward it off in case. Usually i awake day after cringing and grunting so maybe it will be better this time.
Praying for cooler weather, this heat is massively oppressive to my health and mood. Think it is coming soon, and I can get out more, and open up house. Thinking positive this am! Happy Monday all.
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So I've been checking posts but was too weak to post anything. Had my last A/C-Neulasta last Tuesday/Wednesday. They hung a liter IV for the Neulasta shot because my infusion nurse thought I looked a bit dehydrated. I felt awesome on Thursday but then the decline began on Friday. Zero appetite, zero energy, etc. So I called the MO yesterday and went into the ER for some more IV rehydration. It took 2 bags and they wanted to hang a 3rd but I promised I would try to stay on top of it at home. All my labs and tests came back within normal range so they just chalked it up to SEs of the chemo. That A/C is nasty!!! Thank God I'm done with it, I think another round would have killed me for sure! What a wimp, huh? This begins my off week so I'm hoping to regain some strength and an appetite. My husband is such an awesome cook and I've been driving him crazy with lack of appetite (which is definitely not me)!
Enjoy the holiday with family & friends.
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Hi Ladies, I'm 3 days post 4th round. I sucked on ice cubes during treatment and this is the first time my mouth isn't horrible. Fatigue set in yesterday, so watched a movie or 2 and slept in between. Not much of an appetite, but forced myself into shower this a.m and now resting again. a little more achy then usual but ok. Even though managing SEs, this sucks! Can't wait until I am done.
Hope you all have a manageable day.
Cathie
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My day yesterday went downhill and ended with some tears last night as I just felt so sorry for myself. I really hate having to go through all of this. I'm feeling somewhat better this morning, but the effort to walk to the kitchen and get something to eat or drink feels almost overwhelming. A week ago I was out walking three miles! Crazy how potent this stuff is. I feel like they're killing me to save me. My daughter has the day off from school, and it's nice to have her around (even if she's holed up in her room doing homework). My dad was here to help, and he did help out with driving my daughter places, but he isn't so great at helping in other ways. I think it was hard for him to be here. It's hard to be sidelined and have ideas of what the people around me should be doing - I'm too much of a control freak. Even the smallest things are setting me off, inside. I need to figure out an outlet for some of this pent up frustration and anger.
Thanks for letting me vent. I know it will get better, and that this is temporary. Just have to keep reminding myself of that! I hope everyone has a good day, and is managing all of the SEs as well as possible.
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Hi Everyone,
Post op 14 days from round 3. This weekend both my feet swelled. I kept them up all day yesterday at work and had to type sideways. Today I am off and they are better. Has anyone had this? I thought this would be my great week. Still have fatigue and food taste pretty bad still. No taste. Still walking 4 days a week. Getting slower and having to really push myself. Three more rounds sound like Hell. I have not tried the suck on ice. What does it work for?
Try not to get depressed. I keep telling myself I could have been diagnosed with a much more advanced breast cancer. BE THANKFUL
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My fifth tx is on Halloween and I am definitely dressing up! I was going to dress as an m&m and wear a pink wig:) Halloween is big deal to us...;) Cancer will NOT take my Halloween!
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My fifth tx is on Halloween too. I am so concerned about the new med and esp the massive amount of steroids I have to take the night before that I'm not dressing up...just going to get through that day. Hope you and everyone that can celebrate has a great time though! I love Halloween too.
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wondering if we still use the steroid during Taxol? I hate the effects of that too. Still have stomach gas, still feel hard to keep hydrated. Wish those both would go away.
Had my look good feel better class today.mthere were 8 of us. Such a good class, tons of makeup. Are you going to put your make up on using tips, etc for all the safety precautions?
I've never watched walking dead. Heard its good, maybe as I start to get more tired and it gets cold so I need to be in I should get that started.
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Cjt, I'm so happy to be done too with the AC! Do your nails have any darkening? My thumbnails have a dark tinge in the middle in front of the moon. Weird.
Justamy, I will not complain about steroids again! Hugs to you!! My steroids, Benadryl, whatever will be in the bags preceding the taxol. Are you taking vitamin B6? I started last week, can't remember why but has to do with the Taxol. Have you tried the Natural Tears for your eyes? It helped mine! I got the individual packets.
Psalm, good for you, I hope to see a picture of your Halloween outfit, sounds cute!
Eileen, the chewing ice is during the Adriamycin. You chew 5minutes before, during the 10 minute treatment and 5 minutes after. It freezes the cells in your mouth so the chemo can't attach and cause mouth sores
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eileen, the ice suckin does prevent mouth sores. Works for me too....
Cassiecat, i am right there with you, very hard last few days and just....blech. I worry about progression and things I have zero control over. Dark places to be, but remember, the light is there, we can do it 2 more times! I napped today and give into the need for sleep whenever I can. It seems to help. Sorry you are having bad days, but they will pass! I get caught up in why me and anger thinking and it is useless, but at times hard to stop. Be kind to yourself. It is good dad is helping and there for you. my dad passed in 2009 and I miss him like crazy.
We are alot of Halloween ghoulies here for next tx! Thinkin of dressing up as a freaky bald clown or a zombie, neither of which will require much makeup haha, but likely will not....but will bring treats. Though dressing up would be a big FU to cancer! Suck it, IDC! Hmmmm...maybe I will after all.
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If all goes as scheduled I'm in the chair for #4 of 6 on the 30th and miss Halloween by a day. I want to see pictures of everyone who gets dressed up this year!
I'm starting to feel like myself again and went for a short walk with my husband. My dad left yesterday and my mom comes tomorrow, which is great because my husband leaves early tomorrow for a business trip.
He'll be back late Friday. I'm lucky to have my parents to help out.I'm going to ask about the steroids and all at my appointment Wednesday. It is a dark, dark three days for me, and if mental health is at all important then this needs to be addressed. That, and the migraines. I feel like I'm juggling Neulasta pain, migraine pain and emotional turmoil.
I think my eyebrows might be thinning. I could just be paranoid, but I think they are. I've got a nice stencil and make-up kit from Sephora, so maybe I should practice while I still have something to go by. I'm amazed I even have any hair left, but I do. It's thin, but what's still there has grown, I swear, from when I got it buzzed.
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Heading in for surgery on Wednesday to remove infected tissue expander. We tried battling with heavy duty IV antibiotics for weeks but the chemo keeps pushing my immune system too low and lets the infection flare up. Running a fever for the past three days and my breast is swollen, painful and inflamed so decision was made today for surgery. It will also delay my chemo #4 which was to be this Friday and will push my continued reconstruction out by months on the back end. Sigh. I hate to feel like this but seriously this whole thing really, really stinks as you all know. Thanks for listening while I wallow in my pity party.
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Kellya: I'm sure you will have steroids with the Taxol. I didn't have any with AC except in my tx and I have to take 20 mg at midnight and 20 mg at 6am with Taxol plus some in my tx. MO said Taxol is more prone to cause a reaction during the tx.
Cassie: I take anti depressants anyway but I know if you are fighting to stay afloat and are always down,it is important to have that addressed. I know my anti depressants help a lot.
Purple: Hope you are feeling better soon. (Hugs)
Everyone be good toyourself!!
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Hello friends,
I hope everyone had a good weekend and SEs were minimal and tolerable. I've been praying for all of us....
Our trip to the Shrimp Festival was awesome! Beautiful weather, lifelong friends, good music and food -- celebrating life!!! And check out the sand sculpture of a pink ribbon on a sand dollar!
I felt pretty good all weekend. The Imodium that I took on Friday pretty much resolved the big D, but no movement since then. Hmm, I hope the big C hasn't set in. Yikes! My taste buds were still off this weekend and I didn't enjoy the food as much as I wish, but I did have some coconut shrimp on a stick yesterday and it tasted pretty good. I can't believe that my 4th and final chemo is a week from Thursday. Bring it on! I am ready to get this mess over with...
One love,
tp4ver
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Thinkpink, Sounds like you had a great time. Love the Sand Dollar sculpture and you look amazing!!!!! We are on the same schedule and like you, I am so eager to get my fourth and final chemo done on the 23rd. What is your next step, if any? I am headed back for another surgery to make me completely flat, as I have decided reconstruction is not for me.
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Thinkpink, great pics! Love the sand sculpture, and you look like you were having a great time!
Purple, sorry you are having complications and delays, I hope you can move forward quickly. You deserve a pity party, if that's what you want. That's what we're all here for.
I've been having a bit of a pity party myself... got cheated out of my good week & ended up with only 2 days, today and yesterday. Went this afternoon for blood work in preparation for #4 tomorrow, my LAST round! I am really dreading it because #3 really kicked my @$$! Between the metallic taste, the insomnia, and the fatigue, fatigue, fatigue, I have not felt like myself at all. I'm worried that it will take another 3 weeks to recover from #4. I hate this. My hubby says he's ready for this to be done, too, he hates seeing me sick all the time. I am so sick of being bald I could just spit. I'm tired of dressing around what I have to put on my head whenever I go out. I'm tired of people looking at me & feeling sorry for me. I don't even want to leave the house, for the most part, between the fear of catching something, being so tired all the time and feeling like everyone is looking at me funny. I'm tired of looking in the mirror & seeing what's not there.
I'm really ready to get this over with. I have an appointment with my RO on Thursday, hopefully can get a plan mapped out to start radiation ASAP. I've already had my set up and simulation, so hopefully I can hit the ground running. My in-laws have offered to pay for us to fly to Salt Lake for Thanksgiving with them, which would be great if we can schedule the radiation around it and still be done in time to start the drive to Missouri on Christmas Eve for post-holidays with my family. I'm done missing out on stuff because of cancer!
Here's hoping tomorrow will be better. I usually feel fine the day of and the day after chemo, but it's such a helpless feeling once the poison is in you, knowing it's gonna knock you down any minute. As you can see, I'm currently failing at the positive outlook. Sorry.
Hubby has made us a delicious last "last supper" of chicken fried chicken, mashed potatoes & gravy. Time to eat!
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StrongEnough -- I hear ya!!!! I am so sick of the treatment and the stares and the baldness and just the whole thing. Everybody deserves a pity party now and then, so don't be sorry. You are a week ahead of me for chemo, but I don't know if I have rads or not. I will know that after my final surgery. We are almost done, hang in there!!!!!
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Ladies, I am with you! I really try to be positive and was actually looking forward to getting this treatment done and being that much closer to the finish. I Actually forgot how sick I feel and really hate it. I am lucky in so many aspects, it's only been 5 days and can see improvement already. I am heading into work today for a few hrs, which usually motivates me to push myself a little. I have been so fatigued, I just can't stand it. I really thought of stopping here and not doing the last 2 treatments. I have 6 in total followed by radiation. My family and friends have been so wonderful by calling and texting. I want to be positive, but when u feel crappy it's really hard. I am wishing everyone better days ahead and strength to get thru this time in our life. We are kicking cancers butt!!!
Cathie
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catie, me too for the fatigue...i want to stop too, so much at times. But today is a treasure, a surprise. I woke up hungry and made breakfast! And it tastes great! And smells are not making me dry heave! And i had a normal bm! It is the little things....
Think I got my meds right. I skip the gross melting oral zofran and take the other pill, and it works great for nausea. Then every other night, i take one immodium. And i eat nothing that will set me off. And drinking tons of water and diluted fruit juice with ice. Also, taking my probiotic. I think i hit the right combo. Also, i always have a tiny bit of carbs in my tummy. After chemo, i am doing a diet overhaul, but for now......
But, i do have neulasta aches today so am medicating. If i can just hold on.......
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Kellya: My nails haven't discolored yet but I'm sure they will once I start on Taxol on 10/21. I do have lines in my nails that look like they'll split if I sneeze. I had a deep discussion with my MO about nails going into Taxol. She's very attuned to the nails because, as women, we've already lost our hair so let's hold on to some sort of femininity with our nails. She consulted with a nail specialist who said to just keep them short and use nail hardener. My nails will be closely monitored during the next 12 weeks of TX, especially the toe nails. For some reason, they get hit the hardest.
I am so glad I'm done with A/C/Neulasta. I don't now if I could have gone through another treatment. A friend who is 2 1/2 yrs post BRCA, posted to me "A/C are the tiny missiles that will kill off the cancer. These missiles need to be nastier than the CA itself in order to kill it"! Ya know what...she's right!!! A/C-Neulasta was nasty for me. We're done, now I need to regain my strength and move on.
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8/12
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woke up soaking wet during the night. Weird. Feeling fine this morning.
Cjt, so true about the AC. Supposedly the Taxol is much kinder to us. Hoping that's true!
Hi golf gal.
Off to the grocery store. Going to buy vegetables, fruit, hummus so I have good snacks. I have Bran Buds for breakfast for fiber. Going to see if I can stop the weight gain!
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Am I the only one who has lost weight? I've lost 20#s. I was trying to loose weight even before I was DXd on the Atkins diet and was doing well, averaging the 1-2 #s per week and then CHEMO started!!! In one 2 week period, I lost 10#s. I just have absolutely no desire to eat. I eat because I know I need nourishment. My husband and I are going to buy a Ninja blender so I can start on high protein smoothies to help rebuild the muscle I know I've lost. How can you exercise when all you do is sleep? Can we say...one step forward, three steps back?
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I have been gone for weeks so I am pages behind on reading what's going on with every one. Round 3 left me really queasy and the meds weren't helping much, but after day 12 or so like a ray of sunshine the side effects eased and I could eat and enjoy it again. Round 4 has left me completely exhausted and food once again tastes horrible but since i am indulging myself by sleeping so much I can get by with chugging special k protein drinks and eating whatever my loving family makes for dinner.
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CJT, did lose 10 pounds during initial dx through 2nd chemo. till recently was only able to eat high carb crap, so no more loss, but no gain either. I need to lose more but am just getting through chemo for now, so not pushing it. Weird, round four and I am HUNGRY now! Had zero appetite before, just did protein drinks.
Everyone, I met an angel in the grocery store today. We locked eyes, she being bald and me being bald under a hat. We nodded in unison and recognition. She told me that they gave her 3 years, she had brain cancer, but this was her 7th! Her hair will not grow back over the top of her scars, so she shaves the rest of it. What a beautiful, glowing energy she had, she just radiated joy and health! Her eyes sparkled and she had on lovely earrings and boho clothing. She gave zero F's about anyone not being comfortable with her baldness. She rocked it!
I nearly whipped my own hat off too. I will remember her for a long time.
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Purplegrrl, good luck with the surgery. I'm sorry you're having to go through this.
JustAmy, thank you for the encouragement. I am definitely going to talk about my mental health at my appt. tomorrow, even though (thankfully) it is not an on-going, daily, persistent feeling.
tp4ever, I love your photo! You look radiant.
StrongEnough, woo hoo for today being your LAST round! I'm so excited for everyone who's making it through and seeing some big milestones! You can do this...you are SOOO close.
Cathie, I've had a harder time lately being positive when friends and family text or check in. But I think it's OK. It's chemo, after all, and it's tough. Glad you're starting to rebound a bit. I am too, today.
Bippy, so great to read that you're finding some good solutions to the SEs. That is terrific.
CJT and Kellya - no one has really talked to me about my nails. Maybe my cocktail isn't as hard on them? I think I will ask, nonetheless.
GolfGal, welcome to the group. These are great ladies.
CJT, I lost weight the first round, but put some back on and then maintained through the second round. I worry about it, as I am low normal to begin with and don't want to lose muscle mass. I try to keep my protein up as best I can, and calories in general. But it's hard some days, especially when I'm also trying to stay well-hydrated. It all makes me feel a little sick to my stomach sometimes. Greek yogurt is one of my go-tos for a high protein snack that is soothing on my tongue and throat (luckily, the dairy doesn't upset me). I used to do green smoothies daily but I made the mistake (for me) of starting to add protein powder and it turned me off to them completely. Bad timing, I guess. I made a smoothie today with almond milk, half a banana, cashew butter and a little cocoa powder. Not much, but a few extra calories.
randomchance, it's nice to hear form you and good job on plugging away, day by day. It's all we can do!
Bippy, I love the story of the woman you met. I want to be strong and confident like that too. What a powerful story.
Thinking of you all this morning. Every day forward is a day closer to being cancer-free!!! We are doing it!
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I am in the chair... Getting hooked up now!
Woo hoo! LAST ONE!
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you guys are all so supportive! We are all lucky to have found each other. It's good to know I am not the only one feeling so rotten although I wish none of us was feeling poorly. I . Am thinking of leaving work after my next treatment, but I probably won't. I have 9 "banked" sick days but i have to miss 10 days in a row to use them. Trying to hold out for surgery and my last chemo before officially go on FMLA full time. As long as i work sometimes my corporation pays half of my family's insurances.
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My husband just looked up my bills because we haven't received any yet for Chemo. I about fainted. I expected Chemo to be expensive and it is $3000 per tx but my nuelasta....is $12000 EACH so $96000 for the 8 shots I'll have! Fortunately my insurance is paying 100% of my Chemo for some reason and will pay at least 80% of the nuelasta but still that is beyond ridiculous!
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