Starting chemo August 2014
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first taxol down!!! What a long day I was there from 12:30-7:30 between blood draw and seeing the doctor and infusion. I did the dose dense infusion so back in two weeks on Halloween! I've never had IV benedryl before! Wow it's like getting instantly drunk.
Here's to minimal side effects for everyone. And A BIG CONGRATS to everyone who is finishing this chit!
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justamy- I'm so sorry your taxol was so bad! I hope you're feeling better now! Have a good weekend and good luck on Monday, I'll be thinking of you.
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I'm reading all the posts tonight and holding all of you in my thoughts and envisioning as much healing and light for each of you as I can muster!
I said I'd report back on the books I borrowed. I have already started one called It's Not About the Hair: And Other Certainties of Life & Cancer, by Debra Jarvis. This book speaks to me. She is funny, tender, witty and real. She was an oncology chaplain (still is) when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. There's something about her voice that really resonates with me.
Once I was finally alone today, I realized that I haven't really been alone in over a week. My dad was here to help, and the my mom came. I didn't really need the help yesterday or this morning, but she stayed on. I had another crying breakdown this evening, almost like letting the steam out of the pressure cooker. I don't want to sound ungrateful. I just hate needing the extra help. My mom left dinner in the frig for me to put in the oven tonight, but I was such a mess on the couch that I forgot.
My daughter was a good sport and we stopped for smoothies on the way home from ballet. My husband gets home in a couple of hours from his business trip, and hopefully things will feel more normal around here again. Wishing you all a peaceful evening.
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sorry to be so out of tough. I have been thinking of each of you and sending good vibes. Thursday was my last AC infusion...halfway there! I have 4 more of Taxotere after this...hopefully to be done in mid January with that.
StrongEnough---so happy for you no for those of you nearing the end of chemo. Onward with courage!
Gatomal, sending especial love to you no those special babies. You are amazing!!!
Off to bed but so grateful for everyone sharing their stories here. It has helped me so much.
Jess
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I end up "letting steam out of the pressure cooker" too when the kids are napping and grandma goes out for a bit. I really take the time to confront my fears about recurrance, fears about chemo pause, weight gain that may never budge, joint pain etc. All those unknowns! it feels better to have a crying jag cause I don't know how everyone would handle it. It feels better to just do it privately every couple of weeks or so.
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good lord justamy, are you okay now? I feel for you, it is not what you need and how scary. I do however have good news! I am a Taxotere Queen and had it 4 x now. It is doable, main issue is nausea and Big D. I had no awful SE like you just did, and hope it will be the same! The D and Nausea can be managed though. Let us know how it goes! I am thinking of you today.
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cassie and Gatomal, it sucks when we get to those darker places. I hope and think they do not last forever, and we spring back stronger....I worry about recurrence, disfigurement, leftover chemo and tx issues.....try to continue to count my blessings which are many. My meds help and I cannot comprehend not having the anti depressant right now.
Strongenough, loved your story! This touches many people and stays with them. How beautiful that she had such a horror of losing her girl, and was still able to wish you well in spite of that! Angels, everywhere.
today is beautiful weather and no SE's, so I will be out thrifting and garage saleing for my little side biz. Feel better all my Taxol girls!
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Eileen hi I had swelling last week as well. I had not weighed myself in about a week and while I ate some fattening foods I was shocked to see myself 10 pounds heavier on the scale i always use at home. My weight had been stable up to then if you don't count what I gained during ivf prior to chemo. My legs and feet were swollen (did not see my ankle bones) and my hands felt tight. I told Onc when I saw him Monday but he said my weight was stable on their scale still so not to worry. Very weird, I was still bloated then and had marks on my foot because of the pressure from the shoe.
I think the steroids for chemo helped (I got my 4th on Wednesday) the bloat seems to be almost gone and my legs fit my shorts fine (still hot in miami). However I still continue to be 7 pounds heavier than 2 weeks ago on my scale. I can't stand gaining weight but I know this is not the time to put myself on a diet either so I feel rather hopeless about it. I tried to work out but I only have energy for it in my good week and 3 gym sessions in 3 weeks is not enough to keep muscle or burn fat. I am dying to go windsurfing but I was told to stay away from that too. Anyways, your post hit a sore spot with me too. Hope we get this bloat and weight off of us soon. By the way I am extremely impressed on how much exercise you can get in during chemo, you must be in real good shape. Take care.
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no matter... No dieuretic for the swelling? I had a quadruple bypass 3 years ago....another fun event
And am now on lasix. I am surprised they did not. Your MO may prescribe. God's not taking me anywhere yet....got too much good work to do here, like be in parade with you
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justamy sorry to here taxol went poorly:( are your symptoms resolved now ? So scary to have trouble breathing.what did you get for pre meds?they told me they'd give 20mg IV Decadron , 25-50 mg IV Benedryl, and 20 mg IV pepcid but no steroids beforehand or after....
Post AC day one: feeling okay not exhausted able to walk dog 1 mile (very slow pace) and do prenatal yoga DVD so far. skipping the suggested scheduled q6h compazine this time makes me too sleepy and constipated. Just taking the Decadron 8mg for 3days which gives me awful flushing and hot flashes but manageable.
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Justamy: my Dr. Pre tx each before each taxotere which I am sure that your Dr. Will do also in light of your terrible Reactions. I do not have any problem during the infusion.....and remind them to start slowly.
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CassieCat, I read "it's Not About the Hair" when I was dx in '09 and loved her. Thanks for the reminder. It's time for a re-read!
I have kind of been hitting the wall the past couple weeks, after having felt pretty decent. Am very tired and a bit achy. Yesterday was Taxol #10 of 12. When my onc came in for my weekly check, I choked up when I started to speak. Just so tired - and the reality of it all has been hitting me, especially re: my mx. Really sinking in.
She is great, and settled in for a chat. Said it is common for us to muscle through treatment feeling strong and together, because we HAVE to. Then as we near the end, our emotional needs start clamoring to be met. This IS TRAUMA, after all. So very much to process. Anyway, I am right on schedule. The talk really helped.
Then she said, "Are you stiff anywhere, by any chance? Do I need to prescribe a therapeutic massage?" I love her!
I also woke up yesterday with extra bagginess under one eye from a blocked tear duct. We are trying warm compresses for now.
Sending good wishes and hugs to JustAmy, Mullerin, and all who are having difficulties. This journey is just so hard at times. Together we are making it through.
XO
Angela
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justamy, I hope the Taxotere on Monday goes better. What an experience.
mullerin, Im sorry you had to have that procedure, but I sure hope it helps!
eileen, did they offer any suggestions for what to do for the swelling? I remember swelling up like crazy right after my daughter was born, from the tops of my thighs all the way through my feet. It was awful. I think they just encouraged me to drink and get moving. I could only wear my husband's slippers, my feet were so swollen.
Angela, you sound so fortunate to have such a caring doctor. I'm glad for you.
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TobyCC - I didn't call my doctor for the swelling. I had an appointment with my Occupational Therapist, who talked with my doctor, and she wrapped my legs and today they are not swollen, but I will be putting the socks back on before doing to much activity tomorrow. You are right -- we are not done with our work here yet for God to take us anywhere. I have yet to be a burden to my son!!!!
Tabbygirl - Hang in there, we will get through this. It is hard and it is ugly at times, but better times await us!!!!
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Eileen am in awe of how much exercise you can still get in with the chemo. You are my support and inspiration to step it up a notch
).Justamy, wow on the Taxol reaction. Hope you are doing much better and the new chemo works better.
NurseShark, woot woot! Happy dance for you on finishing. The 10th of Nov will be here before you know it. We can't wait for you new bundle of joy and to be honorary aunties :-).
Gatomel, how are you doing? And the babies? Always in my thoughts and prayers.
I am at 25lbs consistent weight loss. The new drug Coumadin that I am on I have had to adjust my diet again as there are some foods I have to limit in my diet and they were part of my staples during my down days. I will be on this medicine until January. I have asked for an appt with a nutritionist as now I just need help. Loosing too much muscle. I am a vegetarian so the new restrictions make it really hard to eat properly. My husband us suggesting that I start putting fish and turkey in my diet but after so many years what am I to do? At a huger crossroads and hope the nutritionist can help me through this tangled web!
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hi ladyb, sorry to hear about your weight and muscle loss. I'm sure the nutritionist can help with some ideas to get you getting enough good stuff. It's especislly hard w the intestinal upsets and nausea to have to cut out things that are working. My gestational diabetes is getting a bit harder to control, and it's hard to cut out ice cream and things that helped settle my stomach, but I haven't had any weight loss. I'll pray that you can find things that hrlp and nourish you. Babies are still doing well and kicking me in my always full bladder. Next week is last AC so I'm feeling pretty good this week.
JustAmy--what a scary day! Like chemo itself isn't bad enough. Thanks for posting though for others to be on the lookout for themselves, especially if the nurse isn't always around. You could really help others raise the alarm. I'll be starting taxol in four weeks. I'll be on the lookout for a bad reaction. Hope you do better on taxotere. Make sure to tell the nurse about your reaction so she keeps a close eye on you. Prayers and hugs.
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i feel like the I've been through the ringer. I'm really tired and weak. My pulse is normal now and all the symptoms are gone. I just think all of the steroids ( they gave me 4 doses) and the benydrl and the morphine I got for chest pain was a bit much and my body is catching up. This is my first really bad reaction to any of it so I consider myself lucky.
The steroids they gave me were dexamethason. I also got benedryl, and pepcid.
Here's to Monday going better with the new med. They said its synthetic so there is less chance for reactions. Yay! Cant wait for the first tx to be over so I know it will work!
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ladyb1234- important to know about Coumadin: If you are someone e who normally eats lots of leafy greens and other foods high in vitamin k (most vegetarian diets) don't stop! Consistency is key on Coumadin. It's just advised that when people start coumadin they don't suddenly start eating a lot of vitamin k rich foods bc vitamin k is the antidote to Coumadin so it'll screw with INR and dosing. I find this is a common misconception when I talk with patient s on Coumadin(i work on cardiac unit and give lots of Coumadin). Suddenly stopping eating the vitamin k rich foods if you're used to them can equally screw with INR!!! Make sure you talk to doc.
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Nurseshark, that is good to know that if I stay consistent with these types of foods my INR will have a better chance of staying within the therapeutic range or slight adjustments required to adjust to my diet. Since I am vegetarian I know the diet will be pretty consistent. I will talk to the doc during my appt. on Monday. Not sure why they told me to keep to a minimum, Maybe generic instructions? My INR has been consistently at2.5 and I have a regular dosing schedule now. That was a wealth of information thanks so very much.
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Justamy= You can do the taxotere.!!! I have not had any major side effects. I will getting my dose of it Monday too. I will be thinking of you as I sit in my chair in HELL. (or chemo room as others call it) Good luck
Cassiecat I see my MO on Monday. I will ask him then.
Ladyb. Funny I feel like a slug now. I only lift weights one or two days a week. Swimming went from 3 x week for 40 minutes to 1 time a week for 30 minutes. I am now walking and riding the bike at the gym. I constantly tell myself I can do it and then I push myself. Once out the door I am ok.
Windgirl and no matter what thanks for knowing I am not alone with the swelling.
Who ever wrote about being in the Macy Days parade. TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope everyone has a GREAT weekend. The end is near.
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justamy hope you are doing well!!
So happy to see some are finishing the chemo. Ohhh what a hell treatment!!
I'm getting more irritated each treatment. Lol. Can't stand the people who just show up without calling first. It's nice to have some visits but I need more time to get ready! I have to put the wig on, moisturizing my scaly face, changing my nighties, changing my sleeper socks, and putting my 'strong girl and pretending to be fine face' on. Sometimes I don't even feel like getting out from bed and chat. Getting more pitty phone calls because People can not stand not to spread the cancer news too. Lol. Sorry for the rant.
Hope everybody is having great weekend!!
Be strong ladies. Hugs to you all
Shirley
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Hey Shirley, ever consider just greeting your visitors "just as you are"? Those that stay and come back are the "keepers". I am starting to come to the conclusion that I am not supposed to pretend to be brave through this process. I cry at the drop of a hat (oops wig) these days. Tonight I was sobbing in church as we said goodnight to our pastor and he actually hugged me! This man is not a hugger. Wonderful experience. Ladies we are brave warriors,and don't need to prove that to anyone (except not to scare young children of course.) Love, Jean
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Jean, I really like your post. I can't seem to cry or give up control very easily and I have this backlog that is now hitting me pretty hard. I wish I had been better about letting it out sometimes alone the way, and not always tried to be so strong.
Shirley, I feel for you. I am sure your real friends are just not thinking that they might be imposing. But I hate the idea of people coming around to get fodder for gossip. Ugh.
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I know there are lots of scarf tying videos and whatnot out there, but I just loved this woman's accent:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxgf-5cR0U-fODkma...
She also has some great tips! Edited to add that I watched her other videos and her eyebrow one is great, too! She makes it look so easy and natural. She has a blog as well: http://eyelineher.blogspot.com/2011/01/eyebrow-you-brow-part-two-with-photos.html#more
Shirley, I hate when people just drop by, so if I am really not up for visiting then I just don't answer the door. I like Jean's advice too - if someone can't see you feeling bad in your PJs (when they didn't call first to even give you a chance to get ready!), then that is their problem, not yours.
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great videos! Her eyebrows look amazing!
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Cassiecat - Really enjoyed video, thanks.
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And it is liberating to not have to try to be pretty, happy and positive when we do not feel like it. I am more and more okay with being sad and whatever other emotions come during this process, and not groveling in it, just not hiding it to try and protect others from feeling uncomfortable. Too much energy to keep up appearances, and our real friends get it. Those that cannot handle the reality, well.....see ya! Already I am marking off some folks from my circle. Others are closer than ever.
I had a breakthrough yesterday related sort of, i posted it under the relationship topic, called f---king neighbors. I won't regurgitate it here, but suffice to say, letting out your real anger and not being complacent works wonders for your mental health! I felt better letting out the rage.
So everyone have a good Sunday, hope all suffering any SE's get better. Making breakfast soon, eggs, sausage, potatoes, grits, waffles with blueberry syrup, coffee and juice!!! What a blessing to enjoy food again.
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Cassiecat, thanks for the video, it was great. BTW, I have a couple of questions. I am a member of the September 14 chemo group but since you ladies are ahead of me I could use your experience and knowledge. First of all I have contacted some privately but now ask all of you for help. I was told by my surgeon that since I have 3 positive nodes, she is rethinking doing an axillary node dissection taking out the nodes under my left arm after chemo and before radiation. This would give me a 1-2% better chance of avoiding a relapse. On the other hand lymphedema is a real possibility. If any of you had this surgery I would be so grateful if you would contact me privately and share your experience. I will need to make a decision about this before finishing chemo in January. Also I have developed a diaper rash. Did any of you get this, and if so what helped? You ladies are amazing. Fight on fellow cancer slayers! Love, Jean
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jean, can't help you, I had sentinal node biopsy only. Are you using wet wipes a few days after treatment along with toilet paper? That worked for me. Also I used A &D ointment gor the occasional rawness, not sure if that's what you had.
Justamy, such a scary time you had. I'm praying I don't have a reaction tomorrow. That is the part that scares me since I know the possibility is there.
I will watch those videos later today, thanks!
Bippy, so happy food is sounding good for you! I was told to eat well, whatever sounded good after the treatments and watch more closely on the off week. I've had no eating problems, which I consider myself to be very, very lucky at.
Everyone else, hope you are doing well today!
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Good morning everyone! I feel about as normal as I think I ever get during these three-week cycles and am SO grateful. Woo hoo! I'm 10 days post-infusion #3. I'm going out to breakfast with my family and will take Hope out for a walk later today.
Hope everyone has a good day with minimal SEs.
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