Starting chemo August 2014
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Sandy, yikes! I hope your port stays put!
Eileen, I'm hoping the swelling subsides. Sheesh, you've had it really bad and it's time for that swelling to just be gone already!
bippy, so great to hear how you're improving day by day.
Cathie, hope your blood counts are back up this week.
Jean, hope your finger's feeling better!
I've got a mammogram and ultrasound this morning - what fun! But another opportunity to get a good, clear picture of what is or isn't going on in there anymore. The u/s in October was clear, so I can't imagine things have changed since then, after 4 more rounds of chemo. I found out my fasting blood sugar yesterday was 86, which is really good. So at least there's that!
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All I have an appointment with an ophthalmologist to check out vision changes and the flashing light I see in the corner of my left eye. My appt is after my Infusion tomorrow. Thanks for the overwhelming support and response to my question. Means a lot.
Windgirl, thanks so much for searching on bco.org for me! Not sure why I didn't think of that (big smile) -- so thanks for the push. Just reminds me why I cherish this group so much.
Good news tomorrow is #10 of 12. Sucks it is on New Year's Eve but just awesome that I only have 2 more. Woot, woot! I am so ready to leave this fatigue behind. Hopefully rads won't make me feel this fatigued.
Hugs to all
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Angie, I'm glad you're getting that checked out. Better safe than sorry!
I had a clear ultrasound today and wound up not having the mamm. Might still get one, but for now it was just the u/s. The radiologist was very quiet and kept going over the same areas, but finally she said, "I'm not finding anything, I just want to be thorough." And then I was able to exhale, lol. PET scan results tomorrow afternoon...
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Today I went to MO to check out my swollen right arm. He sent me right out to ultrasound/dopler/chest Cat scan. The dopler came back no blood clot. They told me the cat scan looked fine. He was checking to see if there there was a problem with my lymph nodes. On the good news. I have now lost 6 lbs. My legs are not as heavy. The pain in the back of my calves is gone. I feel a little better with out all this fluid in my legs. Don't know when I can start radiation again. Hopefully, Monday I want to get this show on the road. I go to the RO office tomorrow so they can look at my arm. More lovely SE from chemo. I think Taxotere is the devil in all this.
Angie=I had my eyes checked when I started chemo. Good luck.
Happy New Year to everyone!!!
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- I Finished #9 of taxol today. Only 3 more to go! Love, Jean
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Eileen - I'm happy to hear you've lost 6 lbs of fluid!! It sure does feel much better. Hope your arms resolves as well.
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I really don't have much SE wise to complain about at day 5 PFC so why do I FEEL so down? I just feel like crying and I do but I feel silly because I am done w chemo and should be happy...I'm tired of being bald. I'm tired of black fingernails. I'm tired of being so tired and sleeping so much. I'm scared of surgery that I have coming up. I don't want to think of BC anymore yet I will have to forever in one degree or another. I know many of these things will resolve themselves but for tonight...I just need to let myself cry and mourn the loss of my old life. I rarely do that...try to stay positive... And joy will come in the morning. Thanks for listening to me when I need to just let it out. You all are awesome...hugs..Amy
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Dear Amy, I think of crying ss taking a shower on the inside. It clears out all the junk. Science has confirmed that tears contain a lot of stuff the body needs to get rid of. So sob away dear sister. God is blessing you. He will give you the strength for the next step when the time comes. One day at a time. Each day is a gift. Love, Jean
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cassie and eileen, good news!
Amy, well, I spent christmas sobbing. I feel exactly like you do. Even now after surgery, i have labs and infusions until July. Rads next week. Still bald, still tired, still the girl that had cancer. It seems like it will never end. Losing my breasts is hard. My emotions are anywhere, at any moment. I am also very over all of it.
I think Jean is right though, and maybe we just need to cry. I sure feel better afterwards. And you are right too about the morning coming -a new day.
Have fun all that are braving the night out tonight! We never go out on NY, unless it is early supper or to get takeout. I sound like we are 100, I know! We are not partiers, though we have lots to celebrate now. Will be home as I have tx tomorrow anyways. Perjeta and herceptin, delish
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oh gosh, is it NYE already? Still pregnant, with random contractions and false labor, hoping to make it til next Monday and my c section. Sad that I'm thinking about possible lumpectomy week after instead of just getting prepared for babies arrival. I can really feel the tumor (or hopefully scar tissue) every day, as my breasts are getting bigger in prep for breastfeeding. Didn't all my docs say I wouldn't get any milk and be in chemo pause? Wrong again docs! I've pretty much been in bed constantly just trying to make it through. I've been reading all of your updates and sending you all good vibes and hugs. I've been hearing my friends say "here's to a better 2015" but my 2015 is full of six or seven months of further treatment, so whatever. I'm in the last half of treatment, not the first, so that's good, right? Let's hope these babies and their momma do just fine, and then we will get back to killing cancer. Hugs and high fives to all. Happy New Year
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Eileen, I hope the water weight continues to leave you so that you can get some relief! I'm glad all of the tests at least were negative for clots and whatnot.
Jean, woo hoo! You're getting closer!!!
Amy, cry when you need to. I don't think we have to feel up all the time. I definitely don't either. I do hope you feel better this morning.
Gatomal, I can't believe your babies are almost here! I'm happy for you.
I still can't believe you and NurseShark have done all of this while pregnant. You are tough ladies, for sure. I agree that 2014 being behind us doesn't mean that it's ALL behind us now. But hopefully the worst of it is, for all of us. I'm scared about surgery, which is tentatively a week from this Friday.We are having an open house tonight that starts at 6pm and goes until no one is here, lol. I hope I can stay up until midnight. I wanted to have a party, so we're having one. It's also an opportunity for me to practice not being in control of every last detail, as I didn't ask for RSVPs. We'll just roll with things tonight. We made it BYOB for alcohol, so at least that part was easy. So maybe we'll have 5 friends come over, or 50...who knows? One of DDs friends might stay the night, so that will be fun for them. I'm really hoping for a totally clear PET scan. That would help me feel more celebratory. I go in at 1pm today for those results.
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Happy New Year everyone! I hope 2015 brings you all much happiness! I know many of us still have treatments and/or surgery ahead but I hope the worst is left back in 2014!
Eileen- I hope you continue to loose the fluid and feel better.
Gatmol- I'll be thinking of you and those babies! Good luck, you are a strong woman!
Bippy- glad your feeling good!
Amy-nothing wrong with crying!
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My PET/CT report: "no evidence of metastatic disease"
Woo hoo!!! The three known lesions have all regressed as expected. Chemo did its job. I am so thankful, and feeling so relieved I cried as soon as we left the onc's office. Ready to go in for surgery, get rid of whatever tiny cells are still there and say ADIOS to this cancer!!!
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Cassiecat, that is fantastic news! I'm crying tears of joy for you!
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Cassiecat=YEAH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have fun tonight
Gatomal= Wishing you the best. Yes,2015 will be better. The worse is behind us. Getting the initial dx and finding out what the future held for us. You are more than 1/2 done. You are one tough cookie!!!!!! Looking forward to seeing pics of your new beautiful new babies.
Justamy=I hope tomorrow looks brighter. I keep telling myself "look at all these people I never would have met. New friends."
Bippy=Glad you are doing so well. Super great!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow starts new deductible for insurance. Yeah more bills!!!! So far my insurance has paid out $110,000. They must love me
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hang in there Gatomal!! Btw my milk never came in but I did restart my period 28 days after delivery...I was looking forward to not having it for awhile lol! Had my 6 week postpartum visit today my doc asked what I wAnted for birth control.. I said chemo and a double mastectomy should take care of it !!no interest in sex what so ever)
Justamy: I'm sorry you are feeling down. I agree it is a se of chemo. I have never cried so much in my life... even when I am having a great day I sob without warning simply by thinking about everything that's happened since July then some more when I think about how much is left
OB talked about family planning and future oopherectomy. Anybody else brca1 ? / recommending ovaries out by 40.... I'm so scared of going through this again I want them out now !!!!
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Nurseshark my sister chooses to remove her ovaries, she's BRCA 2+. I am still waiting for my result. she was 39 when diagnosed, I was 36.
Bippy....I'm glad you feel great...:-)
Cassiecat... Congratulations!!! A great new year ahead with NED.
Amy feel free to vent anytime you want honey...:-)
Eileen...dang my insurance will be thankful, they have only paid $92,000 so far for me. Lol. BMX bill alone at the beginning of the year 2015 will meet my deductible for the whole year.
I'm off from work for a week before the surgery and will start my FEMLA leave on My surgery day, looking at 2-3 months leave. Still anxious with the surgery. We will take family picture with my fancy bald head before the surgery before they grow back.
Christmas turkey this year is the best meal in my life, taste buds back to normal again. I could even have the chicken curry without any big D. Woot woot....
Waiting for the new year's countdown, 1100pm.
Happy New Year everybody. God bless all of us. Stay strong. Hugs to you all
Shirley.
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My insurance has paid $96000 just for my 8 nuelasta shots! I really need to look to see how much all together...
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LoggIng in to say Happy New Year! So excited to see my August peeps (aka sisters, warriors, supporters, encourager, comedians, song writers, moms, wives, and I can go on and on and on ) either cross the finish line with chemo, reaching the home stretch with chemo, finishing or prepping for surgery, going into or in the next phase of our journey. Amy during the initial part of this journey I couldn't cry and not sure why, However I learned to let the crying just come. Sometime in a flood, at times a quick release or sniffle. What I have learned that crying actually helps me deal with this journey a lot better. Love Jean's comment and say sob away we are here for each other. I am going to sob away when needed and I know that each of you will be there for me!
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Just wishing everyone a very blessed and healthy new year. Love, Jean
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cassie, wooohooo gurl, good job! How wonderful for the new year! Are you doing bmx or umx?
Gatomal, thinking of you and wishing you comfort.
Shirley, what kind of surgery are you getting?
Amy, you too, Are you getting a UMX or BMX?
Angie, crying really helps. Glad you can let it out....I was never a crier but I gues I am now!
Everyone--ha! I cannot bear to add the insurance payments, but very glad to have it.
last night DH and I had a small fire in our backyard, had some champagne and burned loads of cancer crap paperwork, mostly the chemo stuff and wristbands. It feels lighter today, but I was very out of sorts during. asleep by 9. Surgery really takes it out of you. Got my rx for new foobs and 6 bras! Wil do that maybe Saturday. My incisions are tight feeling and it is odd to not see my real boobs there but getting used to it.
Off to make some nice NY breakfast.
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just a few things for my surgery sisters....things I learned on my own but may help you. These things relate to my bmx, with lymph removal, so a uni will be less, as will no lymph work.
Be ready for the drains to be very uncomfortable. I had 2 on my right and one on my left. They suck, literally and figuratively! I was not properly warned (maybe purposely) how much I would hate them. You will too.
Ask for adhesive remover pads. My BS did not give me these and neither did hospital. You will have lots of tape residue, and it gets old quick.
Ask for the pre-notched gauze pads to place around your drain tube incision sites. Again, no one gave me these until I saw a visiting nurse. The incision insertion sites are very tender and those pads are crucial to keeping you comfy. They fit perfectly around the drain hosing.
You will not have full use of your arms or hands at first. My lymph side was very painful, even 7 days out. The pain was like a lit cigar or two, being held against my underarm, not always but if I moved the darned drain hose. If your insurance covers a nurse, book her for all the visits you can. They are so much better than the piece of paper they give you at discharge and the drain stripping instructions that you wont remember or be able to do yourself. They can help you strip drains and clean up. I used loads of wet wipes to stay clean between showers, which I needed assistance with until about 10 days out. Sleeping in a regular bed is out of the question till the drains are out at least.
I wanted to post this before I forgot, since chemo brain still gets me at times....do not let it scare you, if I can do it so can you all! It is not the worst thing but feels like it while you are in it is all.
We took down the tree today and it took me 3 hours just to remove ornaments, as I had to rest alot. Ready for tx tomorrow, just herceptin and perjeta. Watching the walking dead and finally relating more to the humans now. Woohoooo! Happy new year.
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bippy, thanks for the advice. I am actually pretty scared about surgery and recovery, and I'm really dreading the emotional aftermath of it all too.
I'm doing a unilateral with one lymph node coming out. I love your fire idea. I can't wait to get rid of all my hats and scarves. I'm so sick of them.Eileen, how's the swelling today?
NurseShark, I'm not BRCA 1 but I do have what we think are fibroids. Of course, they can't tell me for sure, and there was a slight bit of activity in my uterus o the PET scan, so now I'm freaked out that I have something more going on in my uterus.
I need to get an ultrasound done and then go from there to figure what is best. A partial hyst. might be best, as fibroids have been an issue in the past and tamoxifen has its own potential side effects on the uterus.Shirley, so glad for you that food was/is tasting good again!
Angie, I agree! We are all of those things you listed, and we are pretty tough.
Jean, happy to new year to you as well!
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bippy: thanks for the surgery advice. I've been stressing a lot about it lately it's coming up quick! I had lumpectomy and axillary node dissection already but having double mastectomy with implants/ alloderm on Feb 13th. (Friday the 13th....hmmm) I remember the drains being worst part after alnd...
mostly stressing about caring for baby after surgery but my mom will be staying with us for 6weeks until I can lift again..she is a nurse too so can help with drains/ dressings I just hope we don't kill each other have not spent that much time under same roof since I moved out at 18😇
Taxol #3 of 4 tomorrow!!! Last time I have to leave baby for whole day for awhile. He is coming to last treatment bc everybody wants to meet him. I had an awesome onsie made its hot pink and says #f**kcancer .lol I post a pic when he wears it.I showed it to my mil I don't think she approved of using f bomb on baby .😱
Happy New year!!! Cancer free in 2015!!!!!!
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cassie, fibroids, no problem!!! I had TONS of huge ones, it was awful till I got them removed. Easy, easy outpatient surgery and recovery. Had it in 2010, uterus only, laproscopic. Tiny incisions, zero pain, no drains. I am going to to consult with that surgeon re ovaries soon, just to cover all bases. I do not need them and ya know, estrogen.....
Pm me if you need any details, it truly was no problem at all. After this, it is NOTHING!
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Nurseshark: Congrats on 3 of 4 tomorrow. Will be thinking of ya as I go in to get fluids. You're almost there! Yay!
Tomorrow I get fluids just because I get sick every time so they give me anti nausea stuff and liquid...I actually haven't had D this time which is amazing, but do feel a bit nauseous so going to get it. After fluids we are driving 2 more hours to my mom's to celebrate Christmas for the last time this season. I had chemo on Dec 26, so they scheduled late for me. I'm really tired a lot but other than that better than I've ever been at this point post Taxotere. Looking forward to time with family before my surgery coming up this month. Happy New Year Everyone!! Hugs Amy
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Nurseshark=I have a tee shirt that reads the same. I wear it to work. Love that on your baby. Too funny!! it is the truth,even the baby knows itBippy/justamy=glad you guys are feeling better.
I am not having any more surgery. However,I feel for you all. BEST OF LUCK to everyone.
My swelling is still pretty bad. Hard to walk.. My arm is the same. I hope they give me radiation on Monday. Maybe it will come down by then. I was able to fit into pants to go out last night. Home and sleeping by 10pm. I am still at about 5 to 6 lbs down. I probably have another 8+ of fluid in my body. Painful to sit and even get into car. I move really slow.
They called me yesterday morning and told me all my test were negative. So,this is just the same fluid leaking into a new area. I am super careful about salt and still cannot eat any sugar due to the metal taste.
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Happy New Year to you all. Even though we all face the continued cancer fight this year, it is good to make progress and focus on the positive part of "new."
Jean, I love picturing tears as an inner shower, cleansing us on the inside.
JustAmy, keep on sharing with us.
Cassie, great news about your scans. A party, wow! I am impressed.
Gatomal prayers for a safe delivery of your babies! Such a miracle...
Bippy, thanks for sharing your wisdom. You need to write a book or blog. You are a great writer!
Ladyb, let us know what the ophthalmologist says...
"And now let us welcome the new year, full of things that have never been." Rainer Maria Rilke
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Jean.. Just scrolling back through the thread, and spotted the pictures of your beautiful, beautiful.baby.!! Congrats.. She is just perfect.!!
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eileen, hoping your swelling goes away soon.
Amy, enjoy your belated holidays! No more chemo for you!
Nurseshark, nahh, baby levi approves of the fff cancer motto, for his momma!
Jenifer, hahaha I am a frustrated writer. Then maybe you won't be surprised when I tell you that I am writing a book about this experience. It will include not only the horrors, but the nonintentional hilarity. For example, during my biopsy, not only did the staff have an old radio but their antenna was a 24 inch high hemostat. Gee, not scary and repugnant at all to someone there for the sole purpose of being diagnosed! And, to add to my fun, right during the punching part here comes the song bad moon on the rise. No I am not kidding and no you cannot make this shit up!
I am proud to say I just painted both my toenails and my fingernails. My toes are gold glitter and nails are deep purple. My boobs are gone but my mojo, never.
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