STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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Thank you Lori. Have not been able to get past tears enough to even file unemployment yet. Was told today when I went in to my former workplace to clean out my office that MAYBE in February they will have enough work to get me part time enough to pay for COBRA. Boss seems to think I can "relax for a bit" until she thinks she can get me back to work. Really???? Kind of hard to do when there are bills to pay and I am the breadwinner in the family and have a disabled spouse. Just pray I can get meds filled before insurance is out so I at least have that covered for a bit.
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Meow13
Lol snake oil alert. That is funny
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sometimes life sucks real ass. Just sayin
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Sure does. Still have a bruise from flu shot had to get last week too on top of it. Forced to get them since DH is immuno-suppressed and doc insists I do so I do not end up killing him. New nurse. She claims she worked in peds for years. Not sure how since she sure hurt me like crazy.
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I am with you colorado. I was supposed to go and see my dying father today. The kicker is. We were estranged for 16 years. He chose the step freaking monster over us four kids. Fast forward 16 years. After. I was divorced and they chose his side. I got diagnosed with stage four cancer denovo and told I had 3 years tops for sure. He did call when he heard about it. But he wasn't in good shape at all had a terrible heart attack at year 13 and when I went to visit him. My step monster hadme banned from his bedside and had a password put into place for his visitors. I wasn't allowed to see him and didn't know if he would make it. He was in icu. Now. He's dying for sure. Hospice monitoring him. Not doing well, the step monster now has to work. She spent all his money long ago sitting home buying everything she could and traveling everywhere. Now what? Money is gone she burnt all bridges with people that would have helped had you been civil ? Now my dad needs us. And I am sick. Fatigue is a monkey I carry every single breath I take. Every move I make it's like moving through tacky strip tape that your shoes stick to. Exhaustion is really no explanation for what is felt. I wanted to go today and couldn't. It's a very disabling disease for sure. Chronic is the key. I had three great days. Felt good. Now these past three days awful. A ride I'll never get off until it's really over. Like I said life sucks ass sometimes.
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Oh Michmel! That is terrible!!!!!!!! How awful!!! How can someone be so hateful and keep you from your own parents? I will pray her heart with soften and you will have the strenghth to make peace with him before he is gone.
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micmel......... all I can say is OMG!!! I think step-monster is too kind honestly. If your dad's in hospice and you can find out where you can contact them and get the visiting hours and go and see him for yourself. Having dealt with hospice recently SHE can make all the fuss she wants BUT they're all about your dad and family and YOUR family and have a RIGHT to see him.
sending cyber (hugs)
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When I attempted to see him when he had his first heart attack, she had me banned from seeing him. That was about 5 years ago maybe more. This time he is dying and he is at home with a check in hospice nurse. I have seen him three times in the past month, today would have been four. I have been trying To focus on him. She's now all of a sudden “ok" with me seeing him now. Because she needs help. So she “ texts for him “ since he's so weak. She knows I have stage four cancer. Last night the text said “he loves you and misses you and you can decide if you're able to make it in the morning." Excuse me what??? my sister just told you a half hour ago, that I wasn't feeling well back on my first week of chemo.
What happened was my sister. Called her and told her I wouldn't be coming. Step monster then texts me for “dad" and gives me this guilt trip if you can make it shit. Makes me so mad. I want to throat punch her. Everything is so damn hard. All I want to do is help my dad. Even though he has no balls to ever stand up to her. I don't want him to die without him knowing I love him. I don't want see her. It's. A stressful thing alone without throwing in shitty cancer. Sleep can only help right ??
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Right!!! I'll be keeping you in my prayers. I know ppl like her and God has a very special place for them. She only wants to alleviate her guilt and we all can see that. Stay strong. Cancer s%%ks and you don't let step monster eat at you. You're above her and are better for it.
please take care of you ....treatment s**ks
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Oh Michmel! That is terrible!!! Just make sure to take care of yourself too in all of this as well. I know as much as your are worried about your dad it does not help to have your stress level up high as well going through active treatments.
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Micmel...your step monster is a real B.C. P.O.S.
She probably wouldn't know what that ACRONYM means, so the next time you have to interface w/her, just say in your sweetest voice, "Well, HELLO, B.C.P.O.S, (spelling it out), how are you?"
She'll probably just stare back at you w/a confused, quizzicle look on her face.
L
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I totally agree. I have no room in my heart for her. I hope she is ready to shoulder it all on her own. She burnt the wrong bridges. Sad really because now my dad is alone and suffering. Everyday seems to get harder. I had three great days. Now the past three have sucked. I hate cancer
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Lita57–. I want to thank you for your tip for renewing drivers license because of REALID. I received my renewal letter yesterday. It listed all the paperwork needed but does NOT mention marriage license. There is a small sentence about proving a name change though. I wouldn’t have been alerted without your post.
So thrilled my new license with have a photo of my with my Albert Einstein hair that is slowly growing out after chemo.
Just another fun way BC touches our lives
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Thanks, DodgersGirl....but i thought all the docs I brought w/me were more than enough to prove a name change...hyphenated name's on my SS card, my utility bills, etc., even my current Notary Public stamp. My marriage license only lists me w/my MAIDEN name.
These people are government functionaries. They are given a list of "rules & reqs" which they don't deviate from. They are not PAID to think or reason out the obvious. They didn't even take photocopies of any of the stuff I brought in....and that would have made the difference to me. I didn't even TRY to play the terminal cancer card w/them. I just figured, "Take the 'non-government compliant' DL and let it go at that." It's not like I'll be flying anywhere soon w/all my brain mets, and I'm exempt forever now from Jury Duty (yaaay!) so I won't be limping into any Federal Buildings anywhere soon either. So at this point, I don't need a REAL ID.
Incidentally, I got my NEW DL about a week later. They told me it would take 4-6 wks, so I was pretty happy about getting the new one so quickly, especially at this time of the year.
Be sure to make an appointment so you don't have to stand in line forever. If they don't have any appts close to your date, you'll may just have to show up, stand in line and take your chances. The line was moving pretty fast the last time I was there, tho.
L
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So I just want to thank everyone for this heads up. Will go armed with ALL info when renewing. Sheesh!
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So I have vented before about my older sister and her lack of empathy towards me - she lives near me but I haven’t seen her in months ( self- preservation) after her last very mean text to me. My DH ran into her days before Christmas and did tell her she may need to apologize for that. Well she left cookies by my door with a Christmas card and she said she was sorry that last text upset me, not really an apology to me as she did not apologize for the mean text. Some people just don’t get it!
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Sorry you were upset is definitely not an I'm sorry I was a jerk.
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Ok, I need to vent! I do really well with most stupid stuff that goes with my cancer diagnosis and treatment, but I've had my fill and I lost it today.
One of the many 'gifts' BC has given me is heart rate/blood pressure issues. I had my first appointment with my new cardiologist yesterday. I was told to be there 30 minutes early to do paperwork (that they mailed to me a month ago...and I had already filled them out). I came in early as instructed. I waited in the lobby for nearly 2 hours before being called back to have an EKG done. Keep in mind, this is a small town at a satellite clinic and I was the last patient of the day. They really weren't THAT busy.
No one bothered to tell me they were running behind. Once the EKG happened, I was put into a different exam room. It was dirty from a prior patient. No new paper on the exam table for me, and no running water for the doctor to wash his hands in before the exam commenced.
I had to wait there for almost 30 MORE minutes before I was seen! I gently explained to the new doctor that it was poor management to leave patients waiting that long with no communication. He just laughed and told me to bring a book next time.
I have to give him credit. He was thorough. He diagnosed the issue, and said he was putting me on 2 different meds to lower my BP and heart rate. He wrote it in my chart (I watched him). He walked me to the front office, where he told 2 different office staff members to send my prescriptions to the pharmacy. It was after hours, so I had to wait until today to go by for the meds.
There was only 1 prescription on file and the pharmacy was swamped, so I called the office. "We don't show that he ordered 2 meds." (Remember, I watched him do it & I waited while he told 2 people to make sure my prescriptions (PLURAL) were submitted). It flipped my switch. I asked to speak to the office manager, and unloaded on her when she got on the phone. I told her I hoped it was not indicative of the type of care they give their patients, and I was glad it was not a life-or-death emergency.
She said she would speak to the doctor and call back...which she did. He did order 2 meds, and someone dropped the ball. I don't know who overlooked it, or why it happened, but I am LIVID!
I never cry, but all I could do was shake and cry out of sheer frustration. If I didn't need meds to lower my BP before, I certainly do now. The irony is not lost on me.
P.S. I cannot wait to complete my 'patient satisfaction survey'!
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I would take offense atthe first words out of the doctor's mouth. Bring a book next time? Can you go somewhere else next time?
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Sounds like treatment in a military medical facility to me except waiting there they at least did let people know they were running behind even though waiting hours and hours. Bad care of patients and bad bedside manner.
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Can I vent with You, My home help went to Walmart
and then put down work, all she is not really doing so
she would get paid. Went to McDonald's for lunch and
then to her mananger she bought it for me, they call her
and she yelled at me, then I paid her for that . And she
walked out. Someone tried to rob my house and broke
the locks .Like You Miss bcolorado, I have little money
and no one for Christmas. Also very I am sick and cant breath
my lady was sick when she came. Thank For the vent, got to
rest. Had to get my pills in my wheelchair it was raining.
God bless You all for letting me vent
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We endure so much stuff during our treatment and everyone thinks we are strong. I think this pseudo-strength is a coping mechanism to insulate us from all the ridiculously stupid things people do and say, especially when they act like they are the ones who are the victim.
P.S. I texted my nurse navigator about all my craziness with the cardiologist & staff. She reported it to Patient Relations and I should get a phone call from them. I don't want excuses from them as to why it happened. I want them to know what a pain in the a$$ it is to deal with all their incompetence. I want them to take corrective measures so no one else has to deal with it.
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I had an appointment for a scan on the hour a while back. It was one of those two part things so after part 1 I had gone to get something to eat. I started heading back early but the elevator was taking a while and I got turned around looking for the stairs. I walked in to the suite 2 minutes past the hour and got to the desk 3 minutes past the hour but their clock was 5 minutes fast and I was told they gave my slot to someone else and I would have to wait 45 minutes.
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Both foots and WC3 that is awful and my heart goes to you both!!!
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My husband of 37 years has informed me he plans on leaving his money to charity after he dies. I am legally entitled to 50%. I am so hurt by this he says why there is plenty of money. We have 2 child both over 21. I can't understand this. Things come up what if one of us needs the money.
I plan on seeing a lawyer. This is such a slap in the face. This person is suppose to love us. I could see it if we were divorced. I believe his older sister has something to do with it. She is planning to leave her money to charity but she doesn't have children and probably only will do this after her husband is gone.
My mother is upset and wants to see a lawyer to protect her money, she wants to make sure my boys and I get it.
She doesn't want him taking her money after she dies and giving it to charity under his name.
If he goes through with it I am making sure only my children get the residue of my money.
I am so angry, I think he is going back to his old ways before I got this cancer.
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speechless just speechless. Protect your children for sure. I'm so sorry that people just seem to “change" over night sometimes with no explanation. Cya! =“Cover your ass". I wish you an easy solution. No one should go through this. You definitely are entitled to 50%. Get your power of attorney drawn up or changed. Put in writing what you want donewith your half and designate it to your children word for word. Then have someone professional witness the documents and your signing. Have a notary either prepare them (usually they themselves are notarizes)He will not be able to change your wishes. Such a shame!
Footprints~I wish we lived closer. I would be by your side. You my friend are amazing. Much love and hugs to you my sweet !
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There are laws that entitle a spouse to inherit regardless in some states I know. You definitely need legal advice. Some will do for a nominal fee I know and sometimes you can get reduced fee attorneys as well depending on income. If you have a social worker in your team you might want to reach out to them for resources and they could help direct you I would imagine. You need to be able to protect yourself and familyl.
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Having major issues with family. I co-own a home with my mother who was recently diagnosed with Stage IV cancer of the lungs. Older brother is trying to get her affairs in order. We are in a lot of debt but as a team, always could pay creditors and run our home, albeit in debt. Since we share the house, he is also trying to get my affairs in order (was not asked to do this) since I will be on my own. I am unmarried and on permanent disability due to my own illness. He is insistent on me filing bankruptcy which I do not want to do. His family keeps trying to guilt me into letting them take care of things and tell me where to live since they worry what will happen to me. It is too stressful on my mother and they tell me to keep my tears to myself regarding her condiition. I am resenting this and don't know what to do. Causing a family rift is not what I want but they think I am a shithead with how I ran my finances and they blame me for her debt. I am already stressed being the one to cook all meals and look after her since she is bedridden, I am still in treatment forever and having a hard time. I am more emotional since my mets were to my brain. What can I do to blow off steam. I have no one to talk to. Brain radiation made me more emotional and I was always oversensitive and prone to tears when angry or sad.
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mara51506 oh honey oh dear! I wish I had something wise to say but I really just wanted to respond and say that I hear you and if it were possible without causing that rift I'd speak up and tell dear big brother a thing or two!! I'm concerned that he may also be taking advantage of your brain mets to try and get the better of you!0
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OMG you ladies are really going through such hard times. I’m so sorry. That’s all you need is financial issues on top of everything else. Shame on your family members who are taking advantage of you esp in your hour of need. It’s just despicable.
Meow - I’m not a lawyer but In Tennessee where I live it is 50-50 however Idk how that applies if your husband decides to give $ to charity. Definitely calls for a legal consult. Most lawyers don’t charge for that. I’m on an ND Board that is almost totally comprised of lawyers - all kinds. I know one in particular handles probates. I can ask him if you want. Also, I bet you can even surf the internet and find out what’s legal in your state. On the flip side IMO while that’s admirable to give to charity it should be after your needs are met.
Mara - time for a come to Jesus with your brother. You have so much on your plate with your own medical needs too but don’t let them bully you. Sometimes families are a royal pain. We can’t pick our families so we are stuck. I’m always stunned how the almighty dollar trumps compassion and caring.
It’s also uncalled for when we have to suffer at the hands of incompetent medical personnel. I’ve experienced the not calling in the prescription too. Make no mistake I let the doctor and office manager know too. Mistakes happen but they need to follow up when they screw up.
Doctors and hospitals are on overload and we are paying the price. Be your own advocate. I have had to appeal denied insurance coverage and while it was a pain we won. Squeaky wheel...
Good luck ladies. Keep the faith.
Diane
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