STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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Oh JJ sorry about that. Did they tell you if it will get better at all as you heal from the surgery? It looks like you are still pretty young and that is harder as well I know as well since you have a long way to go this cancer journey in your life. I don't know what you have shared with your family but mine doesn't know everything I've been through or feeling. We try to keep it from them. You might be forced to answer questions you do not want to talk about wit the family either and risk telling them so.
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JJOntario, I know the feeling, I had my first (of several) basal cell cancers while recovering from a hysterectomy for endometrial cancer. It was like adding insult to injury. I had MOHS surgery a few years ago for a large basal cell on my cheek, next to my nose, that I'd let go untreated for too long, and wound up with a long incision from the bridge of my nose to the corner of my mouth, and a pressure bandage that covered almost half my face. I thought I'd be disfigured forever, but just a few weeks later I could barely see it. It didn't take much make-up to cover, and after awhile, I didn't need any as it faded completely.
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JJ, be sure to protect the wound from the sun for a long time so it will heal better without darkening. I suggest mineral sunscreen. When I had a mole removed from my face this is what the dermatologist told me. I'm sorry you have to bear this, and I hope it looks better as it heals.
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and so time marches on, I am not a religious person as I've posted previously. Today marks one year since the passing of our friend. My husband and hers who were friends before are closer now. We keep in touch, check back and do our best to support. But we can't turn back time as much as we wish we could. Is she here with us? Are Rosevalley, Patty, Blondie DianaRose and Kandie? I think so. As long as we remember them, they live through us.
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Molliefish, your words struck a chord with me. I believe too that people exist when we remember them and hold them in our hearts and minds. These anniversaries of loss are hard. Sorry for this.
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I have had it with my neighbor. My son is recovering from surgery, not able to walk so my husband and I have been up all night. My neighbor comes over unannounced again. I have told her to her face repeatedly as nicely as I can NOT to do that. This has been going on for years. She sees our cars in the driveway and rings the bell.
I am so pissed off. I won't answer the door but my husband does. I can't get her to stop so I refuse to come to the door.
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This happened a while back but I still won't forget it. I was at work wearing my chemo cap (no hair) and a customer asked why I was wearing it (what it was for). I didn't mind sharing to educate the ignorant so I told him it was from chemo for BC. He was taken aback and blurted out, "your contagious!". Luckily, my boss heard it and straightened him out good. I had a right to not help him, so I didn't.
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Sweetp6217, I hope you laughed VERY loudly in that idiot's face, then repeated what he said, also loudly, to everyone there, like "Did you HEAR what he just SAID?? Have you ever heard such a RIDICULOUS thing?". Then looked at him pityingly and said, "Bless your heart."
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I taught my kids that average intelligence means half the people are BELOW that.
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Gals, I can't believe I misspelled you're (your). Bless everyone for not saying. As for what I said, wish I had thought of that.
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That was him talking. He would have misspelled it.
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JJOntario--did your doc advise you to use something like Mederma Scar Treatment to fade the scar? I'm not quite sure how soon after surgery you can use it, but I do know the estheticians and dermatologists recommend it for fading scars--both new and even old scars. And when I had my salon many clients felt they had great success with it.
Thanks marijen for your video post!!! It was very timely for me as I am trying to pursue a non-standard treatment at this time that is still in clinical trials and hitting nothing but roadblocks from my care team here at home from my primary care to cancer team in terms of being able to access this treatment. Although watching the video just made me more committed to continuing to fight this battle I am in right now! THANK YOU!!
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Remember when you could call a doctor's office and make an appointment, like right then? Now, with most of my doctors, I have to call, be put on hold, be forgotten, call back, be put on hold, get someone to tell my story to (who has to ask what meds I am on even though they haunt me to put that stuff in the portal which I do), and then that person tells me someone will call me back. If that happens (it's Friday, who knows?), I will have to repeat my story again with questions about meds, etc. and hope I can schedule an appointment then. With one of my doctors, I have to DRIVE to their office to make an appointment. When you get put on hold at the beginning, you are told you are number 547 in the call list. You give up pretty easily. If you last through the hold time and get a person, you are so angry and frustrated it is difficult to tell, much less remember, your story. They hear your anger and get all defensive. The whole situation is getting impossible to navigate. I hate it.
Now I have to: 1. make sure my phone is charged, 2. make sure I always carry it, 3. don't go out so I don't miss the call while driving, 4. answer any number, even if not in my id'd list (they use a different number every time they call), 5. always answer calmly and in a friendly way so as to not piss anyone off. Just me. I'm pissed off.
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Jaycee- I know those exact steps! The first 2/3 of my treatment were at a different facility. Well respected but a disaster to deal with. I felt like I was jumping thru hoops to beg for treatment and honestly, they had such incredibly poor administrative skills. I’ve received other opinions and all concurred with my actual treatment. Then we moved and I now go to another respected facility but it’s like night and day. People are nice, you don’t wait hours for simple tasks...it’s like I’ve moved to another universe. I didn’t even realize that other centers can treat you like a person so I didn’t complain. I’m sorry that you have to put up with that!
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Thanks, Flynn. I knew I wouldn't be the only one. The biggest problems are not my at cancer center. I could call them anytime, 24/7, and get a response. Everyone is always nice at all my doctors but efficiency is the problem. I know they have to handle way more patients than they they have staff for. I know that. This particular doctor, today's problem, is my regular gyn. They seem to concentrate on women having babies. I'm sorry, but I am past that but still need gyn services. It's almost 1 PM here. Still no call. Let the weekend of the burning crotch begin.
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I've dealt with nice, efficient people everywhere but at my PCP's office. If I call for an appointment, they can't ask nicely what I want to see her for, it's just a snarled "What for." I even had to play the damn cancer card at one point last year, for which I got "Hmph" in response. And there is NO patient portal so I HAVE to speak to these turds. I am currently shopping for another doctor, partly because of the years-long stress of dealing with this problem.
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Just actually heard someone say that breast cancer is caused by "bad cells and that is caused by "bad eating and too much stress". Really? If that is the case, they should just educate everyone just tell everyone no stress and eat better and cure breast cancer, right? How dumb can you be???? Hard not to lose it sometimes and yell at people when they are being dumb.
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I've had people shoving it down my throat that if I was thinner I wouldn't have gotten breast cancer! Just because fat cells produce estrogen they can't honestly produce that much to make the breast cells go into overdrive!
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Nanette: WTF!! On the “If you were thinner” How f@cking RUDE and IGNORANT!!!
I have been thin all my life. Weighing in at 120 pounds - the day I was dx’d!!
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I was 123lbs when duagnosed.
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I was 117 when I got it. Not even 50. Did regular exercise. Ate low sugar, low carb, low sodium for 10 years due diet restrictions of DH and his medical issues. Still got it. To hear someone act like you can "avoid cancer is so ill-informed. You'd think someone who had had breast cancer (like that person did who said that even!) was so crazy! She actually said that her doctors refused to believe her but she came to believe it during her treatment. She is convinced she is totally "cured" now too. No one is ever totally cured. Those stupid cells are there and risk never goes away no matter what stage you are. She is living in a cave and ignoring the truth.
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I think this group will appreciate this:
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I love it!!0 -
Kind of funny
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I've weighed 105 lbs pretty much my whole life and was that weight when I was diagnosed and still am that weight. So from my perspective weight has ZERO percent to do with getting breast cancer. I eat healthy -- I did everything possible that goes into prevention and I STILL got it--so again from MY perspective the doctors truly don't know what causes it--I'm leaning towards all the things we've done to poison our food and water with genetically modified stuff and preservatives and chemicals. But who knows??
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I always wonder about all of the pollution I inhaled during decades of driving in rush hour traffic. I think that has more to do with it than the extra pounds I'm carrying around.
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Jaycee: regarding " answer any number, even if not in my id'd list (they use a different number every time they call)"
Most offices have multiple phone lines, maybe 4 or 8 lines depending on how busy the office is. You call in on the main line, but if that line is busy, you get dropped onto the next available trunk line. But to caller ID, you still called the main line. When the staff calls out, they too may attempt to call out on the main line, but they also get dropped to the next available trunk line. This is where you will be seeing the different lines.
I had to manage the phone system when I was the office manager at a previous job. So we might have the main number such as 908-555-2100. The trunks usually would be similar numbers, 908-555-2565, 908-555-3678, and so forth.
I have a weirdly opposite problem: several hospital systems have been merging. Now, almost every facility is now part of Hackensack/Meridian Health (two systems merged), even primary care doctors and pediatricians. So every call, and every bill, comes up Hackensack/Meridian Health, but the calls and bills are for different providers. Very confusing.
Good luck,
Madelyn
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I have to say, I do consider myself cured, unless and until shown otherwise. I've had the surgery, re-excision, and radiation, and I take Tamoxifen to control hormone output just like I take Metformin to control diabetes. Good grief, if I thought I still carried around cancer cells after surgery I'd have been a wreck since my first one in 2008. It would be different if mine had been a higher stage, I guess.
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Mominator, I had a similar issue. I had surgery, radiation and chemo at three different locations of the same umbrella oncology corporation. My treatment spanned two years and I finally gave up on trying to figure out the billing. Somewhere along the way, I paid hundreds more than my $5,000 maximum out-of-pocket the first year, but I mostly did all the cancer care alone and had to pick my battles. It would have been nice to have someone to manage all that crap when I was so weak that I had to use a wheeled walker and rest two or three times hauling myself into chemo infusions.
Ancient Egyptians reportedly had breast cancer. Granted, they used some pretty toxic chemicals in their beauty routines, but obviously didn't have, say, car exhaust to blame so it seems like there must be something besides current environmental factors in play. That's not to say that we shouldn't try to reduce toxins in our daily lives because the stuff in our air, water and food is truly frightening. It would likely be too late for me personally should I face metastasis, but I'm hopeful that ongoing research that drills down to defective genes will eventually provide some valuable answers beyond the current poison, slash and burn treatment plans.
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Thanks everyone for your support regarding my skin cancer surgery. It's been a few weeks and it's starting to heal. I met with my surgeon on Friday and the hole has not completely closed. It's still red but the scabs are off. I made a comment to my MIL that I will look into every treatment to get rid of this scar and she flipped off saying "it's not that bad".... this coming from a woman who complains when her hair isn't trimmed right. So frustrating
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