STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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Found out from Uncle that distant relative (who I never met) had autism. Did not notice she had a breast lump since she focused on other things all the time. Before it was noticed by anyone in the family she was not well they had her tested. it was Stage IV. She was 54. She died today. Went into hospice on Monday.
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bbcincolorado, I'm so sorry. A friend who went into hospice about 18 months ago passed the next morning, which was kind of a double shock as we thought she - and those of us who loved her - would have a period of adjustment.
I just got a text from a dear friend that she has probably less than a year left. We worked at the same museum and at that time we were friendly but not close. I had my first cancer (endometrial) in 2008 and she had ovarian in 2011, and although she was stage IV de novo, we had the same gynecology oncologist and we bonded over what an arrogant prick he was. I lost my job in 2012 and she moved out of state not long after. We loosely kept in touch on FB. When I had my crappy year in 2018 (losing my mom, having two cancers, and finding out about an aneurysm), she was the first person to reach out to me, and became not just my cancer mentor but one of the closest friends I've ever had. I hate that her life will be cut short, that her adorable granddaughter is too young to understand, and I hate that such a kind, intelligent woman can cease to be. And I'm feeling guilty for the selfish feeling that my mentor will be gone, my friend will be gone, my only real-life person who GETS me (personally and health-wise) will be gone. And that guilt makes me feel even worse. Crap.
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bcincolorado, AliceB, I empathize with you both, and my heart goes out to you. I had circumstances in my life that were somewhat similar - the cousin closest to me in age was kind of “aspy” and had learning disabilities- although my mom was the kindest, warmest person, her brother and his wife were cold and critical and their other 2/older kids were similar but parents showed those 2 love/approval because they were good in school and socially adept. So she unfortunately never told anyone about feeling faint, weak with minimal exertion, etc since of course it would invite criticism and succumbed to heart failure at a young age.
The friend who ‘got me’ the most in the past 20 years was one with whom I had not been particularly close to when we worked together but because of out shared work history and the turmoil at the company after we both left (before they inevitably would have fired us in the ensuing massive wave of layoffs) she reached out to me, and we became extremely close then, talking almost every day for the next 6 years, during which she lost her beloved father, and I my wonderful mom, as well as each losing beloved pets, adjusted to new, unfamiliar work environments among strangers, and we were so there for each other consistently until suddenly she had a massive stroke at 51. Although I’m not alone in life, thankful for a good husband, loving sister and some nice friends, none of my closest childhood friends, with whom I remained close, lived past their early 40s and so there’s no one with whom I feel that ‘kindred spirit’ thing now. Maybe after the Covid nightmare ends and/or when I retire in 2 years I’ll get out into more social situations, yoga or other classes at a local community center, meet/up groups, etc. to look for a another - hope springs eternal, right?
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Cancer is thing that just won't go out of our minds no matter what it seems no matter what is going on. It is an awful disease.
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Asked for a vacation day tomorrow, boss said no as he's out for a friend's funeral. I have 9 days left and with everyone in my department WAITING until the end of the year to take theirs - now other people can't take their time cause so and so is off. There's only so many days left people!!!
Can you tell I don't like to be told NO? And how bout those people that ALWAYS year after year take the week between Christmas and New Year's. Every year-WTF?! Give someone else a chance. Anyway, I found a work around for that this year. I hope to be going away after Christmas and asked my boss if I could work remotely that week. He did say yes to this. So, I just hope it happens now with Covid and all. We'll see.
I just don't know what days to ask for now working around 2 others in my department. I also don't know where they come up with 9 days that I have being I was out with husband earlier this year. I didn't keep track of my time this year, as you can imagine.
Maybe I'll ask for 1/2 a day today? I could use a long walk or something. /end rant
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Also today I went to the Hallmark store to buy some Yankee candles (which aren't as good as they used to be!) since I had a coupon, and the store had buy1 get 1 1/2 off. I purchased 4 and it took both ladies about my whole lunch hour on how to ring my coupon. I stayed patient as they were truly working on it and finally, done. I did thank them, but I was close to giving up on not getting those candles at a discounted price.
When I returned I got a call from the guy who I ordered my husband's gravestone with. He said the stone is set, however the names are on the wrong side. Then he actually asked me if that was acceptable. Um, NO it absolutely is not. He's ordering a new stone.
Saving grace of the day, just when I was ready to scream, my niece texted our family group a pic of our great nephew (soon to be a big brother!) and my mood was saved and I didn't lose myself. He's so adorable. It made me smile.
You almost have to laugh out loud. Can't make this stuff up.
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Can't believe they got it wrong and wanted to know it is was ok! Really???? Why would it be??? How crazy is that? Kind of funny in a way if you think about it1
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ctmbsikia
That was an insane day you had! You had your Friday the 13th a few days late. I'm glad you got to end it with the nice picture to balance things out a bit.
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Hate COVID. Got a call from son in law last night daughter who is a teacher had some seizure at work. Teaches in small town about 30 miles from where they live and where hospital is. Got her there she had another and they intubated her to keep her from choking apparently which of course means she is now sedated. She had to be airlifted to Denver from Wyoming. Because of COVID we are not even allowed to go. Only her husband. One visitor in 24 hours apparently is the rule. We are helpless. Can't even wait at the hospital 72 miles from us Hate COVID.
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Oh BC I am so very sorry.
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Sorry to hear that BC! How old is your daughter?
We had the same rule when husband was in the hospital. One visitor a day for 2 - 3 hours. I don't know what I would have done if I couldn't see him. The did make an exception on his last day and security let all 3 of us in. Just saying if you feel you need to be there, I'm pretty sure they will let you in as long as she's not on a covid ward.
Thinking of you
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BC, I'm sorry. What a scary situation.
Thinking about you and your daughter and hoping for the best.
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bcincolorado, so sorry you can’t be with your DD, hope she recovers quickly and regains good health! I just want to smack those anti-mask jerks who prolong this Covid nightmare for the rest of us.
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bcincolorado, oh how scary for all. I'm hoping they will quickly figure out what's causing the seizures and it's something easily treated.
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My daughter is 37. She has not had seizures before. Son in law just called finally. They got her off the vent! Still running tests. We did get to talk to her at least on the phone!
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Glad she's off the vent and you could talk on the phone! Whew. Hang in there. Let us know if you need anything.
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Wow, BC, I can't imagine how you must be feeling. Know that we're here for you and hoping and praying for a good outcome for your daughter.
(((hugs)))
Carol
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bcincolorado
I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this. It's a relief that your daughter is doing better, but I know you must be under a lot of stress not knowing what caused it. Eff Covid and doubling down on cursing the selfish idiots who have prolonged this ordeal.
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Thank you. It is so hard not knowing and of course he can't keep the phone on the whole time either. Yo just want t hold your babies no matter how old they are and keep them safe. We are just praying he'll call with another update for evening before long.
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Just popping in to let you know they've poked her now 3 times trying to spinal tap and failed. UGH!!!!! She is improving though and able to talk at least now and eat some. They did have her up and walking with her IV's a few times a day to get blood moving so she does not get clots and lose muscle mass too much. She has lost days. I think she is making more progress than they thought she would. At this point they think meningitis. Sounds like her students had left the classroom and another teacher was in the room and they were review different lesson plans when it happened so she got help. I was thankful did not happen i front of her students at least. Still hard to not be there.
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bcincolorado
It's just horrible that you can't be there with her. I hope her diagnosis and treatment are swift.
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Hi bcincolorado. Thinking of you and hope all is going well. What a way to spend your Thanksgiving! 2020, the year that keeps on giving the whole year through!
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I'm so angry and sad. I got randomized to standard of care arm and cannot get SABR because we don't use it here for cases like mine yet
I really think SABR was my chance at prolonging life.
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Moth, why can't they use it for cases like yours? If it is available I don't see the reason why can't they use it.
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Oh, moth, I'm sorry.
Is SABR available anywhere in Canada, the U.S. or elsewhere outside of a clinical trial? I searched to find out more about it and the only hits I got related to clinical trials.
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Oh moth I'm sorry. Hopefully they will get it approved there soon.
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It's not evidence based practice - hence the clinical trial. It's not in our provincial treatment guidelines so the RO can't do it outside of trial
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https://stanfordhealthcare.org/medical-treatments/s/stereotactic-body-radiation-therapy.html
I believe Stanford in California does SABR. Stanford also has an online second opinion for $700. Stanford will collect records if you are in the US-/not sure how itwould work when you’re in Canada.
Moth, I used to read your posts here on a plant based thread. I hope whatever treatment you get is effective.
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If it wasn't for covid I'd think about going to Seattle for SABR. Given the pandemic, we think the risks outweigh any potential potential. So another thing to be mad about. Stupid covid!!!!!!
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Moth, can you drive to Seattle? How far are you as driving distance goes? Hospitals are taking extreme measurements to keep patients safe from covid-19. Are you worried about the hospital or hotel? I have been going to the hospital several times these last two months and patients have been scanned and checked. Nurses and doctors are in protective suits, I couldn't recognize my MO
. Just a thought. 0
