STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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Dear Chronicpain...I'm so sorry...my sweet kitty passed away last year from cancer as well. I still miss her...
I'm sorry about your husband...cancer is such a f@ckig evil disease.
I too feel pangs of sadness when I see old people and think to myself that it wasn't all that long ago - that I thought for sure I would live a long life. I used to worry about retirement. Now, I feel like, I don't care, if God keeps me alive until I am old - I don't care if I'm living in a cardboard box - as long as I am alive - that's good enough for me....
Damn...
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Runor I don't get that at all from the posts I read here. Everyone has their story and their own way of expressing it.
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Runor- I have also seen some that didn't quite sound right. Some have no specifics and when other posters try to help and ask for specifics (ie stage, grade, hormone receptor status, etc) they either ignore them or all of a sudden get scatter brained. When the ones trying to help tell them where to look (ie the pathology report, the radiology report, etc) they disappear, say their doc won't let them have a copy or prevaricate some more and refocus attention on another crisis.
Here's a rundown of a suspicious post not so long ago with a little commentary from me:
Ex: poster states 'Went to breast specialist, so glad i did as she said I was high risk (even though no family history).' Then poster quotes the following stats: risk of developing bc IF I test BRCA +, risk IF mom & I both test BRCA +, (no genetic testing done by the way), oh and poster states she has a cyst in one breast and now needs to decide whether or not to have a bmx or just take tamoxifen... Um, what in the world are you even talking about?!? BMX for a cyst?!? Tamoxifen for a cyst?!? A simple clarifying question is asked on whether genetic testing was or wasn't done - pister slams you for asking (the answer was 'no testing done') & poster states that she shouldn't have to justify herself to "strangers". So now it's the 'poor me' factor and 'these strangers that i just gave all this (supposedly)personal info to are asking me questions?!? How dare they? They're so mean! Poor me!' When really the questions are being asked by people who are trying to help them.
I have no patience for the attention seekers. There are real people dealing with 100% real cancer and the giant bag of sh!t that comes along with it. Pretending to have cancer, even if in a board like this where you can put whatever you want in for your profile with no way to verify any of it, is just plain wrong, is a slap in the face to those who are genuinely trying to help, and it belittleswhat those who really have cancer are going through. Karma is a fickle b!tch and she will ensure those lying about having cancer for attention will get their comeuppance. I don't wish this awful disease that's tried to take me out 4 different times on anyone. But saying you have it when you really don't is just inviting Karma right on in.
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I don't get why anyone would pretend to have cancer. Right now I'm pretending I never had cancer and will never get it.
Really sorry you had to put down your kitty. I have 2 persians and I am so attached. I dread the day I might lose them. Both are 4 years old now. It hurt me terribly when I lost my old cat, took 10 years for me to get another.
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I am going to allow myself not to worry about my cancer, cats, kids, husband and mother. Everything is good, I am not waiting for the other shoe to drop. I am happy about this moment in time.
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Molliefish, I haven't read anything here on Steamroom that caused me to write about fake posts. It's usually when I'm casually cruising through the Active Topics and see some attention grabbing title and check it out and it's EXACTLY as Lula described it. Some super fishy, wibbly wobbly, makes no sense at all, won't answer any questions .... yeah, something is off about this.
I absolutely support each of us having our own voice and our own story and this is a wonderful place to come with all these new and unattractive feelings. But it's also really slimy and gross to slither in here when you don't belong and I get the sense so strongly from some posts and it offends me. Often those people drop their drama bomb and never come back again. I do NOT think everyone who posts here is legit. They fly in, drop a shit post and fly out, never to return.
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meow-I saw your post that was deleted earlier and I loved it!
Wrenn-so true for those that have gone all the way to biopsy stage and it’s neg. I guess I always wonder if they’re so concerned, just ask for excisional biopsy-then you’ll know for sure and if it’s nothing, and the lump is nowgone as well. To me it’s not rocket science. I had no problem with docs or insurance when I had a lump evaluated & excised -mammo & ultrasound indicated fibroadenoma, I just said it doesn’t belong so it has to go and lumpectomy was scheduled.
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chronic pain— so sorry to read about your cat. We had to put my grand fur baby down the day after my dx. It is sure tough to lose a pet as they are family. Hugs to you.
Also sorry to read about you DH’s possible cancer. Please keep us posted. Saying prayers for you and your DH
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x
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When the MO gave me a few days to live I posted my fears and what was going on. Needed some place to vent. Things started to turn around after several rounds of A/C and multiple blood transfusions and a ton of prayers. When I posted the good news I got a rude comment that it was nice to see me post without all the drama. Really!!!! Hate to inform that particular lady but some of us are really living her so called drama. How dare she judge what I was going through and was afraid to die. I don’t post much anymore because of her.
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DIanarose, do you mean someone on this site said that about your 'drama'? I am shaking my head. I hope it was somewhere else, like Facebook, where the worlds biggest collection of Jackasses can often be found.
Someone posted a link to an article in another thread and I thought it was a pretty good read. I did not find this myself but will attempt to add link here. Thank you to the person who shared this ... (can't recall who right now, tamoxifen brain)
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/26/opinion/sunday/cancer-what-to-say.html
Claire, I am such a horrid patient that my dentist's office doesn't call me anymore. When they ask me if I want to book my next 6 month appointment I say no, I want to ignore you for a while, ponder my teeth, grow concerned and then I'll call you in a year. Which is what I do. They gave up on me. I expect to be toothless any day now. But I think I would flip out if my dentist came at me with a BP cuff. That's just weird!
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Runor, yes it was on this site. I don’t down anyone’s cancer no matter what stage. It’s still cancer and scary. Some people need not post rude remarks as each of us is fighting the same battle. When you are stage IV it’s not drama it’s our new reality
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maybe the dentist figured out they could bill for that BP and get paid by insurance. I just had to laugh out loud after the comment about the dentist office being the only healthcare some patients get. Perhaps that’s true for a small minority of patients, but I don’t know many who prefer the dentist chair over a dr checkup/wellness visit/physical. 😳
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Claire, I hear your rant. Maybe your dentist should be sending his staff to some professional development classes if he is aware of what is going on. I finally found a dental team that I absolutely love but the dentist, his assistant (wife), and front office person are all about to retire. They are as old as the victorian house they practice in. Oh well. My rant today is about the phone calls I get from my Medicare Advantage plan. Unlike the Original Medicare plan I had before, they keep calling to offer me a free complete checkup" in the comfort of my own home" by a "highly trained medical professional" -to be rewarded by a $15. gift certificate to Target. Oh goody! I keep telling them no thanks - my home is the one place where I can count on not being poked and prodded. If they looked at my medical record, they could see that I see plenty of doctors. I suppose they do this because I have reached a certain age, and they want to snoop around to make sure I am still alive and don't have any dangerous throw rugs around. I should be greatful, I suppose, but it feels incredibly invasive to me and the $15. gift certificate is an insult. If I were going to sell access to my body, I would demand a whole lot more🤭!
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Sara-good for you! I don’t want them in my house either. It’s my comfort place. I’m very Leary if the ones who cone to visit at the house anyway. If they need to come to your house it can send the message that you’re declining and aren’t comfortable leaving the house. This can lead to bias on the part of the healthcare provider visiting you in terms of your quality of life being low and your view of your health being poor. This in turn can lead to more of a palliative form of care where they start discontinuing some of the meds/treatments that are helping you stay as healthy and active as you can be. I sat and talked with one of the docs that does those visits and the things she said scared me to death!
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Lula, I did have some suspicions along those lines, but then thought, “Nah...I’m just being paranoid.” and dismissed them. I would really love to hear some of the things you heard from that doc. I figured it was just what they offer to anyone who reaches 72, but then, why would they feel the need to give you a physical if you have already had one by your own doctor unless they were up to no good...?
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i wouldnt be surprised if there are trolls here too. Theres always some on public message boards. I ignore them and feel sorry for them for to be like that, their life must really suck without having cancer.
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good one Rosabella! 🤣😂🤣
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Hi Lula, yes I read through all my posts last night and decided to remove them. I had a very difficult time this time last year. It kind of helped deleting them to let go of my anger toward my family.
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Meow~My family basically abandoned me before I got cancer, when it was known I would be divorcing they chose the wrong team, now out of three siblings. I speak to one of them. Out of a mother and step father and father and stepmonster. I only speak to my mother and step father. If my stepmonster has her way, I would be broke sick and alone. She's an evil seed that one. So bad. The anger I feel towards those people cannot be held in a category. It's more of an indifference that I have learned to feel. When i was diagnosed, my father called crying and wanted to plan to See me, he doesn't drive. My stepmmonster wouldn't drive him. So I have not yet seen him. That's honestly ok. I don't really have anything nice to say and I really don't know him anymore. My kids are growing up and they missed it all. They are not invited to the wedding. None of them. My mother and step father. Who really is my father. We were told yesterday that some xray showed a spot on his lung, so now we investigate this now. I just need to get them to live near me. I feel so helpless with them so far. Ever since my mother fell, she just cant walk well at all. It seems that everyone is sooooo young for sooo long and them you blink and everyone has aged and people start to die. Everyday seems like such a challenge. We here together have to help each of us get through the shit stew together.
Much love to all ~M~
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Claire
Dentists in my town have been taking blood pressures for as long as I can remember. Mine is usually is little higher than usual as I hate going to the dentist but it probably saved a co-workers life. He hadn't been to the doctors since he got out of the Marines 25 years earlier but got an abscessed tooth and had to see the dentist. His pressure was so high they wanted to send him to the hospital in an ambulance (340 over 170). They were all surprised that he hadn't had a stroke already. Eight years later with blood pressure medicine and he's still doing fine but sees a doctor now.
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Noting that you have every right to refuse a blood pressure test, personally, I'm not upset by the dentist's staff taking mine. They've never implied that they have the training to deal with hypertension, they don't bill anyone and I'm sure they anticipate a slightly elevated reading due to anxiety since dental work can be painful, both physically and financially. Rather, as Grace described, the test can serve to alert patients to a potential problem. I've heard many people, especially men, brag that they haven't been to the doctor's office in five years. With high blood pressure often having no symptoms, damage may be happening silently during that period and a quick check in the dental chair could save a life.
My dentist uses a wrist monitor. If they wanted to use an automatic arm cuff, which often produces error messages and is excruciatingly painful for me, I would absolutely refuse. Talk about anxiety...the mere sight of those machines cranks my pressure up. I don't know if it's my fibromyalgia, genetically large upper arms or a hundred pound weight loss, but those gadgets are a torture device for me. My vent is when nurses become angry about the inconvenience of having to get a manual cuff. I'm a polite, pleasant patient in general, but I'll endure their annoyance rather than be unnecessarily subjected to intense pain.
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I was diagnosed in May 2015. I have a friend who was diagnosed in June 2016. I'm er\pr + her - she's triple neg. We aren't that close. I'm on my way to a longish future with tamoxifen and a very good prognosis. She's just decided to stop treatment to 'get a few good days before she dies'. She has a 9 year old daughter and a husband who lives and breathes for her. But for the grace of God (or whomever you believe in) go I. I have posted here before. I don't know what to say or do or how to act but I am running out of time to say it or do it or act it. Cancer stinks.
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Just read through from when I was last here.
VLH - I have large upper arms and right arm lymphedema. I will not let them use the arm cuff that is automatic. The wrist one is good. Or use a manual on my lower left arm. The automatic cuff once left two huge purple bruised, I told them to turn it off and they didn't. One it has you your arm is not coming out of there without trauma. So, yes, I know what you mean. And it sure does make my bp rise when it is done and hurts.
My ordeal of the deposition videotaped so they will have it for court in case I die or cannot speak - DONE! I did very well. Will post more on insomniacs since it is not a steam room thing now.
If Hubby had his way my computer and all its counterparts would be in the garbage bin. He got in too deep the last few days of helping me fix a glitch.
Today Hubby and I had to get our printer and ipad back on the wireless router. We tried a few hours on Wednesday. Today tried 2 hrs then called the ink provider who had helped us before since they cannot bill me unless it is online. Hubby pressed the wrong extension and got an employee from Malaysia who could not speak much English and only said Please give me your address so I can send the product. Strong accent. I finally got on and tried. Nope, it was not his hearing. Finally he yelled THE BOSS! and the lady knew that word and got the boss. Who had a stronger accent and less English in her command. I hung up. Then we got a demon from hell, some man who needed meds! He kept telling Hubby to give his case # and not his phone # but Hubby WAS giving his case #. I said, give it to me. The guy started giving instructions. He had me on a screen, said go to the lower left for download. I am brain frazzled by then. I could see upper right and left and a center link. I said something and he barked. Lower left! LOWER LEFT! LOWER LEFT lower left lowerleftlowerleft. I jumped right in there. "STOP REPEATING YOURSELF. You are being incredibly rude." I found the download link and said, I just didn't understand. He said Well you understood it now didn't you. OMG.
He was no help. When I get the printing all done for my funeral I am planning, then I will cancel that company. But the dude from today gets a very pointed review along w the case number so they can find him.
I hung up. And called my internet provider and the nice guys, Lucas and Michael, we had a great time and got it fixed, laughed, got along great. So it is not me. It's them. hahahaha
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Hey runor,
No, I haven't noticed that (but I don't read all posts). However, dang. If I could sell some content at least I would have a way for paying down my medical expenses and all the things my ****ed up insurance company is giving me grief over and denying.
Hang in there,
Holly
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Runor, I forgot to mention your comment. I have seen it. Quite often a first time poster. Frantic. Life falling apart. And they never return a lot of the time. Whether ey are dealing with BC or not often cannot be discerned. The boards must contain dozens and dozens of these.
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Just saying. In the losing of 30++ pounds in 6 weeks my gloriously plump arse is now the texture and has the concave of an elephant arse.
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Elephant arse. That's a new one.
When I first started down this garden path I was so freaked out and wrecked that I quit eating - my usual response to stress. I lost weight. It did not look good. It looked puckered. Like a balloon that had been over inflated then all the air let out. Deflated. Only I didn't fly around the room backwards in circles (bummer). After a certain age when your skin has lost its ability to spring back into shape, rapid weight loss is NOT your friend! I look at my body and it's like wow, will you look at that, huh, who knew, I look like my mother. AAGGHHH!!!!
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Runor and BB-DE, I rarely post but just had to let you know how much I appreciate and admire people who are real and raw but the humor you two add to this cesspool of cancer always makes my day!
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Runor ~ is amazing that’s why! Her humor is just what this world needs. I agree with your statement about the ladies here for sure! ~M~
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