STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
Comments
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VLH~ I agree completely, it's all each and everyone's decision and perspective. I just knew how she suffered, it just made me see that cancer is the common thing here that destroys. You either take it on the front end or back end. Some get lucky and beat it. I hope to goodness it never would come back. ITs basicslly a crap shoot.
When I said all because she didn't try conventional treatments. I meant that my poor DH had to sit there and look at this man feeling, that I had chosen a different path and I was doing better. His friend said to my DH. “Maybe she should have at least tried “. Therefore I and my DH know. That was something that has absolutely crossed their minds. And like I. said. It really wasn't any of my business, I was just sharing an experience first hand to back up. We. Just don't have a choice. We go through it one way or another once diagnosed. It's like Iiving in a haunted life, scared all the time. Fear becomes present everyday, every ache. Every pain. It's just the way it is! Have a peaceful nights rest! ~M~
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Lori, who cares what it is caused by? You have diarrhea and Lomotil could help. I can't figure out why your MO would not want you to have it. I'm like Lita in that everything causes diarrhea. I was on Herceptin for a year and it never caused diarrhea. I did hear from women on this forum that Perjeta caused it big time. Did you start Perjeta before or after this ugly SE showed up? That might be an interesting topic to discuss with your MO. Just a thought.
Allowing a loved one to die with dignity and without guilt is the ultimate in compassion. Wanting to die with dignity is not selfish if your caregiver has that kind of compassion.
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Lori, I know eacactly how you feel. Lomotil really helps me, I’m sure I take more than the recommended dose..shhh don’t tell. I take before I leave my house and if I eat out. I have thrown away so many panties. You have one of the worst cases I’ve read about.
Too bad you aren’t on pain pills to constipate you. Have the cultured your stool just in case. I think that would be a very smart thing to do. A couple of weeks ago I had that bad stomach stuff going around with 24 hours of extreme vomiting and diarrhea so bad it happened in my sleep. I was so mortified . My pcp ran a culture just in case which wS negative. So now I’m back to intermittent every other day...5-10stools daily.
I purchased on Amazon some panty liners called Clean Seat that go higher in the rear than the regular panty shields.
I hope that you get better soon. I did have a twitchy tummy before starting taxotere, Herceptin and Perjeta but I had never soiled myself....so tells me it has to be one of those drugs.
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This doesn't really belong under this title, but since you were talking about treatments, I know someone going to Germany for treatment there. Something about that they do treatments not using chemo, but with other methods. I haven't heard anything about it here, just on TV and internet. Does anyone know of anyone who has done this, or is there anyone from Germany on this site?
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Been reading but out of time today - back soon.
Diane
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For diarrhea, I'd like to recommend something called Kratom, a plant from Asia. It's a powder, very inexpensive. One of the negative SE is constipation.
Some people mix the powder in water (3-5g) and drink it down. However, I would not. To avoid irritating your GI system, I would boil it in water, 20 min, strain and dispose of the powder. Drink the tea, add lemon cuz it's gross. I prefer the boiling method as it sterilizes the plant material.
It will make you a bit buzzed and give you energy. Effects last 3 hours ,🙂 You can totally function, work, study, etc
The white gives energy, the red makes you sleepy. It's legal in most states. About $80 for a kilo, 200 doses.
Any questions, lmk.
Eve
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Thanks everyone. It started with the last 3-4 infusions of weekly taxol (only), each time more severe and lasting longer ( 2 days, then 4 days, then 6 days) but clearing up before the next infusion. I had a month off and was feeling good (although the problem didn't entirely go away until Week 3 of that break) before I switched to every 3 weeks and added the H&P, so 3x the dose of Taxol plus new drugs with that same SE, and again the problem started within 12 hours, the most severe and longest lasting.
Hehe beatmon I am on pain meds (fentanyl patch, morphine and gabapentin) and there have been a few times this last round that I was tempted to take more morphine for the constipation effect (went through that trouble early on)!! But seriously I have worked hard to wean myself off the morphine, down from every 4 hours to now one per day, so I don't even want to go there. I have a feeling that I'm going to need it again one day down the line and I'd rather "start from scratch" instead of my body already needing a higher dose, so I've been very strict with myself about it to. I'm on a fairly low dose of fentanyl (25 mcg) and hoping to just stick with that for the stability and get off the morphine completely for as long as possible. But still with fentanyl, morphine and gabapentin in my system you'd think they would have some effect on the problem!
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For those of you who new Cindy Rogers her daughter wanted me to post that she passed away yesterday. She had tried several chemos over the past six months without any success. I will miss her 😢
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Dianarose~ I am sorry my sweet friend. I did not know Cindy, but I know how this hurts you, I am sorry for you and your friends family's loss. I hope you're able to see, what a good friend she found in you. I know I have. Much love ~M~
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i remember farrah fawcett went to germany for cancer tx. Didn't work obviously. Some alternative thing. I guess if you want to try something else. If there was something shown just as effective with a large sample it'd be here too.
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I agree, Micmel, you said "We go through it one way or another once diagnosed. It's like Iiving in a haunted life, scared all the time. Fear becomes present everyday, every ache. Every pain. It's just the way it is!" Seven years later, I am still here and I was one who started w a myriad of alternative choices, costly. They helped, but I still needed help and turned to a like-minded oncologist and hormone control which helped. Still using alternatives / complementary too. For me, as bad as this has been sometimes, I still feel I made the best choices for me so far.
On the subject of assisted "suicide" for lack of a better word - I have never known what I think or would do. Once I read a person's opinion in that the leaving before the actual natural death would be taking away from other's their experience of connection to us and what that experience of connection offers the world. Ripple effect and all. Even if it is the bathing and gentle caring of the person nearing death. Or sitting to read to them. And I agree with that. Then I also understand too well the pain scale of 1 to 10 and how bad it can get, so what if that pain is not managed, what to do then? And I don't know.
For diarrhea, apple pectin capsules may be a natural alternative. Take a cap every 6 hours maybe then slow down. Then as needed. Very effective, for me anyway.
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ok this is for some of our oncs!!!!!! Or people who just don't listen and go on and on and on about cancer that they don't have and don't understand a damn part of it. !!!
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I think they should try the drugs they give us and then STFU
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And have some of the procedures they put us through. Particularly the ones they saydon't hurt but they do for you.
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one of my friends try to find her car this morning. We got over two feet of snow man poop! I want spring0 -
Couple of questions for the Steamies:
1. Is this still the place to rant?
2. Is cussing allowed? *sound of screeching brakes* Never mind.....finally saw it was allowed in the rules. I'm an idiot.
3. Why am I so anal retentive about listing things? No answer to this required.
Thank you!
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You are methodical? I answered anyways.
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That snow is crazy.
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I like "snow poop". : )
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You sure that car is not a minivan?
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Dinarose how terrible that weather is! I know all the people who MUT get to work too are in bad shape! May you get good sun on your way and warmer weather! You all sure deserve it!
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Ok I got one answer which is cool...so here goes...something I’ve needed to get off my chest for the last four years but never could either online or off. In my methodical way (thanks Marijen):
1. Dear Doctor Asshat, thank you so much for letting my tumour grow from stage 1 to 2 by doddling along for 4 months AFTER confirming malignancy....thanks for the ‘oh, how long has it been since the biopsy report came back?’ And then proceeding to FINALLY stage me, get chemo rolling etc...all while I watched the lump on my chest grow to proportions that required a Mount Everest Sherpa to navigate!! Strange how it took me having a begging, bawling breakdown before you took this deadly lump seriously. Thanks a ton.
2. Dear Ex Husband, thank you for calling me AT WORK days after diagnosis, and when I might add, was hanging by an emotional thread, to enquire if I had life insurance. You didn’t stop there did you? Your kind supportive self continued on to tell me exactly how you were going to pay off your mortgage and bills when/if I died from the disease I had JUST found out I had! Thank you for the meticulous financial planning that didn’t include anything to do with our child. I also can’t thank you enough for foolishly assuming you still were beneficiary after we separated. Seriously? If I do die nothing will give me greater pleasure than to look down from the heavens(or up from the other place) to see the look on your face when the lawyer reads my mother and sons name. You had no idea and I wasn’t about to blow the surprise you big piece of excrement! fuck you very much for it all.
3. To my dearest friend B. You have been a ray of sunshine in my life for a very long time. Words can’t express what your support has meant to me, that and your friendship...I’ll love you forever. That being said if you dare tell me one more story about someone you know, friend of a friend or coworker that was recently diagnosed and then almost instantly drops dead I’m going to wring your lovely neck. Silly bitch! Still love ya!
4. Last but not least...definitely the hardest, Dear Mom, the day we went to lunch and wig shopping...I had put on so much weight and all the meds gave me a face the size of the moon. I tried mom, dressed with extra care and even wore a pretty good makeup. Mom your comment of ‘you look like a fat girl trying too hard’ didn’t make me mad, it hurt...to the core. I was mid-chemo, eating manically and in need of support...not a disgraceful callous statement. Years later and it now makes me mad...not to mention lose respect. I’ll love you forever too...but that comment fucked with my head to this day. I wish I could bring myself to talk to you about it, but I can’t. It’s just too much and I’m afraid of what I might say and how hard I will cry saying it. Still love you though, that doesn’t change.
Done. What a diatribe! Thought I’d feel better than I do right now. Oh well, stay calm...you know the rest.
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Egads~Very well written and heartfelt I honestly hope it felt good to get it out, because I felt like I was cheering for you while you were doing it. Kinda a cleansing. If an x husband would even think he would be the beneficiary of your life insurance policy needs to refer to the Webster's dictionary and look up definition of X husband. As Sas—- says who made this thread. What an Analpore!!!!
You found the right place to let it all out. That's for sure! I'm glad you finally let it out. My mom is in denial. Apparently she doesn't care what we talk about as long as it's not my serious Illness. Nope she just can take take it. She bought a ticket to the river of denial. I hear it's nice there. Hang in there ! ~M~
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Hi Micmel, and thank you for actually reading all that spew I posted. Not sure if it helped but hoping there's a delayed reaction! I do know one thing...the tea I was sipping while reading your reply shot out both my nostrils when I saw the 'analpore' reference...haven't laughed that hard in a long time...love it and will use it liberally in the future...thank you!! I'm sorry your mom isn't on the same page...it hurts I know. Meh, never mind we rise above it after the ordeal we have been through. Analpore....still laughing
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Well I just had it thrown in my face by my analpore husband to get over it because, “You don't have cancer anymore, you're cancer free." So I shot back, “No shit Sherlock, I don't have a chest anymore." This has been going on since I was six months post BMX and God forbade I would react to any nerve pain and now I can't scratch an itch in his presence. Come June it will be six years. Getting VERY tired of it. Kicker is he throws the fact that he's had basal cell carcinoma in my face. On top of that we have several medical conditions that are the same. He doesn't even try to take care of himself where I'm proactive and I'm suppose to feel sorry for him. Feels like he tries to drag me down his road but that ain’t gonna happen. Needing to put myself first when it comes to health. It was easier raising three children. Man, that felt good if for no other reason he doesn't like me on BCO. Doesn't like me having any camaraderie with my friends either in person or here. As a friend of mine who has ovarian cancer says, we get it.
Egads, you're Ex is a piece of work. The nerve to ask you if you had life insurance and on top of it to think you would name him a beneficiary. Shaking my head at his behavior.
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I was dx several years ago. I am supposed to do watchful waiting but my employers have refused to let me see a doctor or have any tests ever again: it's easy for them, I work f/t, and hospitals don't do MRIs and ultrasound scans on weekends. They just refuse to let me book leaves, so I haven't seen a doctor for nearly 3 years now.
I still get meetings after meetings where they give me a choice between being fired or resigning. Yesterday I was summoned to another such meeting by my new manager (during my lunchbreak, so I didn't get a lunchbreak). First she tried to make me confess I knew I was going to have cancer and hid it from them when I was hired (one of the angles is that my employers think cancer mostly happens to Jewish women and they are deeply xenophobic and antisemite). I explained I had done genetic testing and no, I do not have 'The Gene for Cancer' as she calls it, and no I am not showing her my test results, and no I do not have a family history. I tried to give her an example of how I get letters inviting me to have cervical smears and finger prick tests for high cholesterol, when I am at risk for neither. She went 'Oh, but you can get cervical cancer without having ever had sex in your life'. I said, no, it is like getting pregnant, and cervical cancer cannot get transmitted from mother to child like AIDS. Then... she insisted a woman can get pregnant without having ever had sex in her life! I am not sure whether she views it as spontaneous generation, but here we are. Manager who claims to be an expert on cancer, disagrees with my doctors, and... thinks women can get pregnant without any sexual intercourse being involved (and no, she didn't mean IVF either).
She used her favourite technique of shouting at me and threatening to fire me on the spot, and I have another meeting with her and two managers today, they want me to leave at the end of the month, because they are frightened I might get unwell, and they told me over and over that the company cannot afford to pay for me to go on sickness leave... I don't have family or a partner who can help me financially, I don't have any savings, and I am renting... The worst bit is that they are encouraging me to look for another job somewhere, telling me that as long as I don't say I have cancer, I will be able to go on sickness leave with my new employer! Such honest people...0 -
Penzance, if you live in the US you might want to contact the Department of Labor (DOL) as it sounds like your employer is not in compliance with labor laws. My husband had an employer who wasn't depositing 401k money properly. I contacted DOL and they did an investigation. Whoa, the things I found out about the company made me cringe. I made a call and they directed me to the proper office. I think it would be well worth it. If you fear being overheard, try calling on your cell phone at lunch or break time. I eventually used e-mail from my home account once I had the person assigned to the case. Sounds like your employer is living in the dark ages. Hmm again if you live in the US, if they fire you after so many weeks you can file for unemployment compensation.
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Kathindc: your husbands insensitivity runs deep...seemingly to the point of being jealous of your medical history....imho that takes meanness to a whole other level. Along with him not wanting you here in the forms, it reminds me of my exhusband’s behaviour while we were married. You better than anyone knows how precious and short life is...how do you deal? In your place I’d seek marriage counseling, this is so unfair to you...you deserve support, before, during and after, especially after. The stress you must feel can’t be helping your battle. That said I do realize I’m dispensing my opinion on this,which you may not want or need. His behaviour is horrible, I just couldnt help but chip in with my two cents. Im really hoping you find peace...soon!
Penzance...I agree with Kathindc, I’m sure your employer is in violation of labour laws...many of them. Reach out to the resources in your area for legal advice and advocacy. I would also strongly recommend that you start a written diary, dates and names clearly stated every single time they pull this total bullshit on you..they need to learn it’s 2018 and not 1918!! As I said to Kathindc, life is too short for this crap, you need peace too...go git’ em’ girl!
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Pen honey ~ that is harassment. I would call up the first contingency lawyer you can find. Next time you have a meeting like that, ask them if they mind if you record the meeting, because you're growing concerned about your position with the company and you want to be sure you understand everything they are saying clearly. Keep documents. Of times and dates these things happen, and of course the names. Do not accept this behavior. They cannot discriminate because of health issues. You have a very strong case for wrongful harassment and or termination, if it gets that far. The only testing you would have to submit to, if required is a drug screening, and mostly all companies have that policy. But be VERY careful going forward. I would start now reaching out to attorneys that work on contingency agreements. They are out there. I don't know where you are from. But this is a classic case of harassment, and it seems like they are poking at you. so i would take precautionary measures, like in a meeting if you're all alone with management, say oh excuse me, do you mind if I record this. Usually they willl say no. The reason is because they aren't honest and they know it. So it’s a way to hold them off until you can find someone to help you stick it to these jerks. Also throw some sexual harassment in there, Work should not be talking inappropriately about pregnancy and things like that. That's offensive and none of anyone business. You do not have to divulge and information to them unless you're going on disability, which look behind the scenes to see if they offer that. Sounds like a small company. What they will try to do, is give you so much work, that they know you can't possibly do... then they will use the lack of production issue, to try to have you let go. They sound sneaky to me...Be very careful of that trap! Much love ~M~0 -
Along with Micmel and Kathindc’s excellent advice You might also copy over your post into the employment section here on the boards in a new thread...the more resources the better...this is so wrong on so many levels! Here’s the link to the board:
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