STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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Penzance...I don't know where you live, but in any state, I think you have a potential LAW SUIT against this company of analpores! I am in agreement with micmel. In California, all you have go do is go to the Labor Commissioner. You wouldn't have to pay a dime. They will investigate. It's definitely harassment AND discrimination.
Egads...you ex hubby AND your mother are both BCs "Bitch Cunts" !!!
Glad you got some of it off your chest.
L
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Penzance, my heart aches for you. I just retired last July and am supremely grateful I was not dx'd until retirement bc I'm fairly certain my employers would have wedged me out due to the critical job I did. I second the others advice "get an attorney". You need one. I might also record the next meeting simply to have it for detailed note taking. As the others have said, log date/time/place/witnesses and comments anyone else may have overheard and let you know about. Any undisclosed recording will not be admissible in court, but for your own note taking it would be invaluable.
I had one friend who was a long time General Electric employee whose super did not like him. When called into the office (he knew it was coming), the super started his tirade and my friend said "hang on a minute", dramatically pulled out a notebook and pen, dramatically looked at the clock and began to write. The super shut right up. I'm not telling you to do this, I'm telling you because I want you to know there are people in every workplace that do this shit and sometimes, just sometimes it works in YOUR favor.
Huge huge huge hug to you, if I were anywhere near you, I'd be happy to show up like a guard dog the next time you are called into a "meeting".0 -
my rant (thank goodness for here) is about a close relative. I was only dx'd at the beginning of February of this year. Close Relative (CR from now on) had BC over 15 years ago and is terribly frightened for me. I am usually a pretty organized person, and plan ahead for the things I can. So when I knew when the first chemo was to be, I made my plans which included a person to drive me, who would not be able to be in the infusion room due to nursing a baby at present. I'm good with this. I've been told I'll get benedryl via my port and benedryl knocks my socks off + it's early morning and I'm sure I won't sleep well the night before. All of which equals sleeping during treatment. I'm at the Excellence level of napping and sleeping any other time, so I think I'll be fine. CR has apparently been all kinds of fretting and worried about me being in the infusion room by myself. Now I'm 61 years old and have lived alone for the past 26 years. I've never burned down the house, the dogs have never died of starvation and I managed a critical job for 27 year without help. I think I'm mostly competent. So when CR called me to express that she felt like she needed to be there, I asked why and she couldn't verbalize it. I did a cost/benefit of disrupting my plans so CR could see for herself I'd be fine (mostly so she'd leave me alone for the next 5 treatments) and decided to let her come. But, and this is a big but, she also needed to know I was doing this for HER peace of mind, not because I needed it. That didn't go over so well. At the end of the conversation, she was coming but 15 minutes later she decided she wouldn't come (after I rearranged my plans with my driver), and when I called her to talk, she would not answer the phone. That was when I got all kinds of pissed off, act like an adult and deal with this, don't hide behind email and electronic communications where nuance is lost. Haven't heard from her since and will likely not update her. She's may be left wondering how it went. And I don't care. She'll either get over it, or she won't. Either is good with me.
Oh, and the driver was smarter than I was, and didn't cancel the sitter for the older kids so we're still a go.0 -
The extent of how badly people behave is bottomless! You’re a better woman than I because if she’d done that to me my butt would have been in a jail cell instead of a chemo chair that day! Thank goodness your thoughtful friend didn’t cancel...and that’s the shining moment in your story. At least you can take comfort in the fact that there are indeed good people in your life and they all don’t suck as much as CR does!! Hoping the chemo goes easy on you...cheers sister! Glad you got a chance to rant!!
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Hollie~I noticed that your signature line says starting chemo tomorrow? If that is the case I’ll be sending up some strength and thoughts for you. I have been there. And... I’ll be here if you need a shoulder. We all will. Good luck. I’m thinking of you ! ~M~
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20 minutes ago Egads007 wrote:
The extent of how badly people behave is bottomless! You're a better woman than I because if she'd done that to me my butt would have been in a jail cell instead of a chemo chair that day! Thank goodness your thoughtful friend didn't cancel...and that's the shining moment in your story. At least you can take comfort in the fact that there are indeed good people in your life and they all don't suck as much as CR does!! Hoping the chemo goes easy on you...cheers sister! Glad you got a chance to rant!!
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fortunately, she's 12 hours away! And thanks for the cheers, I trade a high 5 back to you!0 -
14 minutes ago Micmel wrote:
Hollie~I noticed that your signature line says starting chemo tomorrow? If that is the case I'll be sending up some strength and thoughts for you. I have been there. And... I'll be here if you need a shoulder. We all will. Good luck. I'm thinking of you ! ~M~
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awww thanks! Daughter Youngest will be arriving this evening and staying the weekend in case I need help. Daughter in Love and Son are 20 minutes away and I think Daughter In Love is more frightened than I am, she is going to be there as well. Double support! From what I read over on the March 2018 chemo thread, the bad day(s) may start Sunday or Monday and I am sure if I don't check in with Daughter in Love she will be calling and/or texting me to see how I'm doing. Blessed to have that sweetheart in my life. I will be doing TCHP+Neulasta, so Monday may be a stay in bed, take my own benedryl type of day!0 -
Hollie~ start taking Claritin today!!!! Take it tomorrow and the following day and from now on. That Nulasta is ROUGH without it. Trust me. I didn't know to take the first time, and I suffered with terrible bone wrenching pain for 24 hours. It was horrible. I don't want you to go through anything like that ever!!! If your allergic to it of course, obviously that's another story, then get on the phone to your onc and see if you can take another form of Claritin. The bone pain in not something you want to to deal with. So you're having chemo Tomorrow and then back to the Center for the Nulasta shot?? The next day? That gives you 3 days to start. If you don't have it, please get it. It may be the difference between minor aches and pains, compared to terrible pains even in your toe bones. Not trying to scare you, just don't want you to suffer like I did. I also took some aleve in the am. For during your infusion, have them slow down the drip speed I.e 45 mins infusion vs 30 mins...it makes a big difference and eat breakfast while your having your infusion. That also helps. Never an empty stomach it will help absorb acids, and the Claritin helps with inflammation and irritation that your body will experience. I just want you to be as comfortable as possible. Hugs hugs ~M~
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Egads - yes - still the place to rant and we love cursing and drama too. Don't worry, we do not offend. And you can list by number or bullets anytime. Then I found your other post - I think you will find that each of these and more ar layers of an onion. Several onions. Just keep peeling each one. BTW, I love love love that you did not tell him he is not on the life insurance policy. Love it!
MICMEL - LOL ROFLMAO - from the cartoon, just the way I want to say it and never do.
My brother - I am not mad at him. But his new thing instead of "Keep getting better" is now "Keep taking good care of yourself." By Jobe - I thinks he got it! He also has NOT been late or blown off one dinner or brunch since I spoke very clearly to him 1 1/2 yrs ago. And I just love him.
That is one giant snowman to dump all that poop.
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McMel, I'm having the unit that attaches to an arm or your stomach as the infusion center is an hour away and this time of year driving is chancy. I don't have claritin ordered for me, that's not over the counter is it?
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Hollie- I also had TCHP and was ok the day after, but bad on the 2nd day.
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perhaps I should have gone and looked it up. It IS over the counter and I plan on going out so will pick some up.
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yes Claritin is over the counter. It’s an allergy medicine
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A minute ago mistyeyes wrote:
Hollie- I also had TCHP and was ok the day after, but bad on the 2nd day.
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I hope for the 2nd day, that would be Saturday and Daughter Youngest will be here to help. Assuming the diarrhea clears/begins to resolve before she has to go home.0 -
In reading peoples posts I am struck by the level of cruelty people seem so unashamed to use. Here are the cruel things said to me.
My mother, while I was lying in bed recovering from the mastectomy. "I don't want to hear about this (meaning BC) for the rest of your life."
My Aunt,when I told her I needed the pillow in the front seat of my Jeep "Remember that song? Short people have no reason to live."
Many many other cruel things said and done by them and others. It is shocking to see how little I am loved. Cancer taught me things I didn't
want to know.
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Egads ... changed beneficiaries. I cheered! Take that, you analpore husband.
Analpore. Why am I always somewhere else when the good new words are invented?
Penzance, seems you have been analpored on! So rude!
Analpore. Now I can't get that out of my head.
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Mornin Steamies,
Hollie - I'm sending tons of positives your way for your chemo. Strange that the chemo units south of the border (I'm Canadian) don't offer the Claritin.....it was standard protocol here to take before the shot, chemo nurse gave me the stuff at each session to take before I had to do the jab the week after. Anyway, great advice from the others, take it!
Bluebird - Big hugs for the welcome...gotta love a board into cussing and drama.....I think I found my home! The onion analogy is perfect and I just might indeed be shedding a few layers here. Cheers!
Bcky - Your comment about not being loved. Oh yeah you are, by all of the sisterhood here. You're one of us so the love is a given, never doubt that. Your mom's comment was awful (mine did the same), but I like to think it's her freaked out form of denial. Having a child (no matter how old) with cancer has got to be mind bending for a parent.....still not right though and i'm sorry you suffered it.
Runcor and all the others that enjoyed the fact that I didn't tell my ex he was no longer a beneficiary - I'm gonna make your day. Up until this very moment I am still the sole beneficiary on all his policies.....yup, he didn't change it due to having no one else to pass it to. His family sucks right along with him so he left it all to me. How'd ya like dem' apples?
Also Runor, oh yeah, analpore is the new black! ROFLAMO @ your "analpored" comment to Penzance !!! Awesome that we can use it as a verb, noun, adjective, pro-noun etc......it really lends itself, multipurpose word....it's actually an $8 word it's so good!
Hope everyone's day is a good one, and if not please post it here, so much fun dissecting analporism!
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Lol at Runor. You're truly the best. And oh Bcky we all have those jerks that say things they really don't mean beacause A: they are mean. And they can't help it or. B: they are floating along the river of denial with my children and are deciding if they don't talk about it, then it doesn't seem real to them. Or C: its just a bitchy Mom syndrome, they rag because they have a mouth, and are used to it. Perhaps a little of b and c in my case! People just plain don't know how to deal with cancer. They learn there is cancer and you can even be ghosted 👻! At least your mom was there. My dad said basically oh hear youre dying. I wish i could hold your hand,. You do????? You didn't hold my hand at four when you left our family you fucker! Never heard From him again and this was over a year and a half ago.People just suck! No way around it. Just know. We can't pick our families, but we can pick our noses! Jk. Hugs and smiles much love ~M~
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Hi Micmel
Your “people just suck" statement...I've been saying that for years and no one seemed to listen. I'm overjoyed to see someone else say this...i feel a great sens of affirmation lol!
I’m so sorry about your father...he sucks large
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such truth isn’t it. The bad part is sometimes we don’t see this part until ... we are sick with cancer and desperately need support. It’s not like I was asking for a kidney or something geeze. Lol hugs ~M~
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Micmel,
unfortunately yes it is true...you could tell them you do need a kidney and then laugh knowingly when the scatter like cockroaches when a light is turned on. Ew, just grossed myself out. Hugs right back!
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they scattered with the word divorce. When the word cancer came along. They switched states. Lol they weren't taking any chances. Lol screw them. I've been a lot happier with out the drama. Yeah I have cancer. But they have a shitty personality and they are assholes. Aka analpores. As I said before. (Again giving full credit to sas. The owner of this thread)
My sister was a drug addict which is sad for anyone don't get me wrong. Or any family. But they loved her through that. She stole purses and used people's credit cards, committed robbery and went to prison pregnant 7months, stole from actual family to support her drug habits... but I got thrown away. My oldest brother was treated like he never mattered shuffling from Home to Home never really feeling loved. Now has relationship issues and he's as cold as a dead fish. He just had a major heart attack. He and I are very close and I adore him. He just lives in Arizona. He is the only sibling that likes me. My older younger brother is 53, he still has this idea that he will be a rock star at 53. He has that rocker fake blonde hair and his belly is catching up to him. Last time I saw any pictures, he is narcissistic at its core! My sister has four kids. Let my father and step monster adopt her, so she was my replacement and she got my life actually. But whatever.
My sisters kids are really messed up also, One gave birth in jail. Imagine telling your in laws to be. Oh yes she was born in a women state prison. Isn't that special! Welcome to the family !!! As it turns out which is terribly sad. That little girl was born in jail/prison. Both parents were in jail when she was born, so my sister had to take Care of her grandchild and still is. The little girls father who is 6 now at the time time was five got out of jail, asked my sister for a visit the next day.... he never arrived. They found him in lazy boy chair with a needle sticking out of his arm, over dosed by mistake. He had wanted a high so bad for over 9 months in prison. His body wasn't used to the amount. Died right there. His little girl coming up the stairs behind my sister , not knowing what was awaiting them it was horrible. And I wasn't even apart of it. It happened around my.diagnosis and my sister did call and ask to see me! I almost went to lunch with her. Then the day of the lunch I was speaking to my good brother and he says. Oh sis told me gma gave your family 20k!!!!!?? I was like what the hell are you talking about ? I hadn't even seen her in over 14 years or more and she was already making up lies about me. So I had already made the right choice. I didn't even know it. I saved my children from being around them and being so close to the flames! So always trust that gut instinct ladies!!! Always !!! Much love ~M~
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Wow Micmel....you deserve a Purple Heart for the malstrom you’ve endured...and came out of it with the ability to verbalized it so honestly....so unashamed- which you should. These were their choices and don’t reflect on you. You have done right by your kids and that in itself tells me you’re gonna be just fine at the end of the day! It might be of little comfort but the good folks here do care about you, I know I do, it’s a sisterhood thing...families are made almost instantly here. Glad you vented it all!
Gotta say...birth announcement from jail...wonder how it could be worded on a 3 x 5 crisp card with raised scrolled text lol
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Really need to rant right now because if I don't my blood pressure will be sky high. So F*$# &$ P'/'&$ off at my mom and other family members I thought I could trust.There are two reasons that my mom is part of this.
To my Mom: If I want to have my ovaries removed because I am approaching menopause and since I know I am never going have a child of my own from my body, it is mine and my husband's decision, NOT YOURS!!!!! I WAS ADVISED A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO BY A DOCTOR THAT DOING THIS IS SOMETHING I SHOULD CONSIDER BECAUSE OF MY AGE AND IT REDUCES MY RISKS FOR OTHER KINDS OF CANCER COMMON TO WOMEN!!!!!!!
To a member of my family who betrayed a request of mine: THANKS FOR BEING A TWO FACED BACKSTABBING B*#$(!!!! When I made the request about if when something happened to my step-grandad that all I wanted was the one thing that my step-grandad had that had belonged to MY LATE FATHER AND MY MOTHER AND STEP-DAD HAD NO RIGHT GIVING IT AWAY!!!!!!!!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING HONEST AND TRUSTWORTHY WHENYOU SAID THAT YOU WOULD SEE THAT IT CAME BACK TO ME!!!!!!!!! NOW I FIND OUT YOU ARE GIVING IT TO MY MOM AND I WILL HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL SHE PASSES AWAY AND HOPE I GET IT, JUST BECAUSE MY MOM THROWS A FIT AND DEMANDS THE WORLD BOW DOWN TO HER?????
Thanks for letting me rant and scream, ladies. Tired of dealing with lying and Two-Faced family members!!!!!!
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Hollie, if you think you might have an issue with diarrhea, get a script for Lomotil. Or even if you don't. I get D from everything and have kept my Lomotil around since first chemo in 2014. (I did TCH, no P. Of TCHP, three of the four can cause the big D, not Herceptin) For me, it works better that Imodium. Having it is just good to feel more secure. A backup plan. A plan is good. A backup plan is better. No pun intended.
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Mommyof2,
That was awesome! Did it help to unload? I’m thinking it might have. Hope so! Hugs
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It did. Always knew my mom was like that but never thought I would see that from another family member.
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I just ranted on another thread - but - need to rant here - too!!!
Lately, I've been feeling so overwhelmingly scared...because I have my follow-up MO appointment. Tumor markers will be due and these scare me so much. I have been crying a lot and trying to not show how I feel because people - because it's impossible when people ask me questions and I don't know if I'm Ok (so I hate to say that I'm Ok - and jinx it).
But, I can't stand people assuming - that just because I can't reassure *them* that I'm Ok - that I'm not Ok.
Friends and people at work have been asking me questions and one person even pointed out to me - how - "on edge" I've been acting lately.
What I wanted to say - was - you would be too - if you were in my shoes. But, I can't even say that - without - them *ass-uming the worst.
I wish - it would be Ok - to say - I don't know if I'm Ok...because I don't and I am SCARED!!! I feel like I'm hanging onto a cliff right now by my finger tips...
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Dancing Elizabeth,
I’m right there hanging off that cliff with you. My recall mammogram happens Monday and like you I’m petrified. Let’s hang on together to lighten the load. I’m going to throw you a lifeline...hopefully reading the article below (posted by member Leaf back in 2015) will help put your thoughts into perspective and help you fight & deal that lion, or more likely just the wind (you’ll know what I mean after reading it). It’s really helped me reading this yesterday...big hugs cliff partner
Why is it so much easier to think the worst?
I heard a speculation about this - why we are so terrible at estimating our risks for something, and it made sense to me. OK, we all probably originated in the plains of Africa. In Africa, there were lots of lions and other preditors out there. When we see the grass move in the plains, we tend to be afraid it might be a preditor.
Statistically, the grass is VERY LIKELY to be moving because the wind is blowing, and not because there is a preditor. But to me it makes sense that we evolved to be afraid when we heard the wind blow. Why? Because if the grass was moving because of a preditor, and we thought it was just the wind blowing in the grass, we would likely be eaten by the preditor, and removed from the gene pool. Those that because alarmed when the grass moved would be at more of a survival advantage, because we'd be more ready for the preditor.
We all tend to want to be ready for whatever is ahead for us. That way we will be more prepared. But the worst case scenario usually doesn't happen.
Maybe this happens more in people that are more 'hyper', or have a history of being traumatized. But, to me, it made gut sense.
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You go, ladies!
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