CRAZY TOWN WAITING ROOM - TESTS coming up? All Stages Welcome.
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Octo....................WE ARE..........PENN STATE..............LOL.........I have a grandson who like your husband is a PSU graduate............visited there many times.....it is 3 hours from our area.....nice ride, and when I got there I always felt like I went into a CULT........They are a school to be reckoned with.........LOL......the tightness of Happy Valley is amazing..........I always like to associate stories, names and faces together......this is Patrick......he is now 29, lives in Chicago, great job, and I miss him so much........but those Nittany Lions do stick together.......0 -
Good morning to my dear sweet friends....I wish we could all meet up someday. You ladies are such sweethearts and so encouraging to ALL.
Shhhhh...Are we going to have a virtual surprise bridal shower for Gaia? Maybe Sula can take time out from her busy schedule and make a delicious cake...lol.
Sula...such wonderful news and congrats!!!
Ducky...such beautiful grandchildren.
Marie...glad everything went well for you. I love those massaging things on my legs.
Katy...I enjoyed sitting in that chair by the fireplace and feel so much better. Thanks for inviting me.
Slow...I think the patch is working. I did have some breakthrough pain yesterday because I think I was walking too much. Oh well, we shall see. Hope everything is going well with you.
Noddy...I have been on anti-depressants since 2004 and was diagnosed as having "situational depression". I lost it when I was diagnosed and I had a cloud over my head for a long time before I took the anti-depressant. I tried coming off several times and it was an absolute disaster. All I did was cry and thought about death all the time. So for ME, it is best that I continue take my Lexapro. I still climb into the rabbit-hole at times, but usually I don't stay too long. This Crazy Town thread is the best EVER...these woman get it. At first I was very hesistant about posting here because of having been diagnosed twice. But, I was welcomed with open arms. I was so worried that I would make others afraid....thinking it would happen to them. My second diagnosis wasn't a recurrence, but a new primary in the other breast. My BS said that was "good" news, but I had the hardest time accepting it. She was my breast oncologist the first and second times...we had history. During one visit I was so out of control. I screamed at her saying that breast cancer was not supposed to happen again and told her it was her fault. I even blamed my mother. When I was first diagnosed I wanted to get a mastectomy, but my mother talked me out of it. I told my doc that I should have used my own mind and not listen to my mother. Poor doctor had to tell me that my mom didn't give me the breast cancer the second time. I blamed my mom because I felt that if I had the mastectomy I wouldn't be going through this crap again. See I told you I was crazy. She went on to explain I was at high risk because of having had breast cancer the first time. She never told me that. I assumed I was done. Never in a million years did I expect to get diagnosed again. And to be diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer...I was beyond consoling. I thought it was surely a death sentence. I work in the medical field and knew all the lingo". I told her I was doing home to die and I was not doing chemo AGAIN. My sweet husband just looked at me with tears in his eyes. He couldn't believe I felt that way.....that I wanted to give up. I was checking out and she saw me crying my eyes out. There was no consoling me. I saw that she was on her way to see another patient.....she stopped and called me back. She read me the riot act...but with love. I will never forget that. She said she couldn't believe I was acting like this....she was seeing someone she didn't know. I told her....that she could never in a million years understand how I felt. The banter went on and on. She talked to my husband and I for about an hour. To this day I consider her a friend.
Phewwww.....I don't know where that came from. I guess I needed to get that out. All this to say Noddy...you will have more good days than bad, and sometimes you will find that you don't even think about cancer...as much. As the saying goes "I got you", as well as the other ladies here.
I love you ladies so much
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Good Morning Crazies!!
Katy, You're quiet. Is that you sitting on those steps??? Did I tell you about the time my brother tried to push me off the Grand Canyon? Or the one where he tried to drown me? Both true stories. It's shocking I made it to adulthood!! haha
Just trying to make you smile pretty lady.Poppy, I never thought to bring along a spotter to monitor for assistant tech reactions!! That's brilliant!! I'm glad you didn't get this reaction from the assistant tech.
It puts my mind at ease!! hahaDucky, I'm very glad you woke up to face another day! Doing the happy dance for that one!!
Yes, I look for any excuse to celebrate!!
Shorfi, Big gentle hugs to you. We love you too and we are so glad you are a part of us. I'm glad to hear that the patch is working!
It's quiet here in Crazy Town this morning making it a very good time to mention all of our crazies.
To all of our wonderful residents of Crazy Town.....
Tomboy, ItalyChick, Lucy55, TangandChris, SusanHG123, PoppyK, dsgirl, sewingnut, Suladog, rleepac, M0mmyof2, Kathy7, Beatmom, Jackbirdie, queenmomcat, 2TA, duckyb1, JAN69, AmyQ, IamNancy, pennsygal, littleblueflowers, Prouttospin, octogirl, Booklady, Alyson, RainNyc, SuzyBlue, Rosesrx, gaia0132, Huronite74, clarrn, ErenTo, Colleenmck, Sapphire_15, MinusTwo, ells37, Tresjoli, staynsane, Chloesmom, Wendy3, koshka1, Luvmygoats, mommato3, mysunshine48, zjrosenthal, eggroll, Mulligan, HomeMom, yogamama, Shorfi, Westphal107, Positive_spirit, momwriter, Maggie57, Coloradogal, mariasnow, Keys-Plez, cenri76, Chevyboy, ElishebaJoy, Wildflowers, Cubbie2015, Blondiex46, EtherGirl, NoddyNeevy, Notagain2015, ChiSandy, MEG2, Marie711, Morwenna.........
Whether you post often, once in awhile, or are one of the quiet crazies, I'm so thankful for each one of you. You give this crazy, tired girl a great reason to wake up every day. Thank you. Much love and kindness to all of you!!
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it is quiet this morning! I am thankfully not sitting on the steps, just had extra snuggles with Jack and Tutti this morning. It is cold! I sleep with the screen door open because it helps with the hot flashes. But then I don't want to get out ofbed. Jack is a little heat making machine under the covers. Then Tutti comes along, motor running, stepping everywhere. Jack gets mad. Growls slightly. I have to step in and restore peace.
Shorfi- I think it was healthy and instructive you letting that all out. It is surprising to me that doctors don't explain more about future risk after we are dxd. I guess we are just all in the moment, and it wouldn't change their tx recommendations. And because the general media has succeeded in lowering the general sense of urgency (as depicted by people running here and there in pink tutus) we don't think to ask. We aren't told. And like Nods and several others pointed out, we are expected to just get on with it.
That's why I I'm so grateful for Crazytown. Thank you, Beppy.
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Awwww....there is nothing better than cuddling with our animals!
I've got a question for you Katy. Did you already have Tutti when you got Jack? My Baylee didn't like our cat so we always kept them separated which worked out well because Baylee liked to be outside, so Chloe (our cat) was in the house. Now that we have the new dog, he and Jax like to be in the house. and poor Chloe has been out in the garage. I'd like to have them all in the house, but I have no experience with them all being together. Jax and Chloe have had time together and seem to be ok, but the new dog is like Baylee and likes to run and chase. How did you get them used to each other without any urgent trips to the vet?
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Noddy, I have to say that I agree with others above about how you feel. I can recommend the talk therapy as I did it years ago during a down time for me, Best thing ever and I loved the therapist, when we both agreed I was better he made sure I knew that I could call him at any time. This was way before the stupid bc thing
Sula, oh my goodness, can I brag about your new business and say I knew you when because we both know it will be a huge success!
Slow, thanks for thinking I am managing the pain well, not sure I am it is just that why talk about it all the time!! Pool is great for it and so is my dear chiro guy. Seeing him tomorrow. One of my old pals who is recovering from a hip replacement called me last night and actually suggested I get an xray of my dumb hip so gonna ask the chiro tomorrow when I see him.
oh dear, dank and dreary today so gonna stay in.
Need to decide on what sort of apple pie to take to the Tday dinner that I am attending. Either the one my mom used which is apple crumb pie from the old Mennonite Community cookbook or, go modern and do Ina's apple tart thing~~~good project for this afternoon
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A very good question. Jack came first by about 5 years. I was having a rodent problem in the attic of a rented house. The landlord was trying, but the problem wasn't getting solved. I was going through chemo and just couldn't take it anymore. I thought the mere smell of a feline might help deter the rats so I thought about getting a kitten. Problem is, being a terrier, Jack has always been inclined to chase cats. He goes bonkers when he sees one out the window, and gave chase a couple of times by getting out of his leash. I too, foresaw emergency trips to the vet. My only chance, I thought, was a kitten. It's a long story, but basically what I did when I brought the kitten home is make several hidey spots that she could get to in a hurry where Jack couldn't reach. I put her litter box in one of those spots
I put Jack on a leash at all times in the house for a couple of days. I was prepared to do it for weeks. It was a hassle but it curbed him from instinctively giving chase every time he saw her. A couple of times a day I took the kitten in her kennel out to the car for a couple of hours. Again, this was to normalize the smell for Jack and let him satisfy his curiosity without adding the stimulus of a chase.
Then I would reverse it and have the dog in the car and let the cat have the run of the house so she could also get familiar without danger and learn the house for her own preferred escape routes.
One afternoon I went to lie down (I was still in chemo) and had Jack lie down next to me but kept the leash wrapped up around my wrist. He normally would never leave my side in such a situation but I wanted to be sure that Tutti would be safe. She was tiny. I fell asleep. When I woke up Tutti had gotten in the bed and had apparently inched over towards Jack (where it was warmest) and all 3 of us had been sleeping peacefully together. I still watched carefully for a long time. They do play hard and chase each other, but Tutti is a tough little one. Jack still wants to chase other cats, but seems to have accepted that Tutti is his cat. And thathe needs to be nice. I warn him if I think he is getting overstimulated and that seems to remind him.
They like to act like they aren't friends around me. Then I'll turn a corner and happen upon this:
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Iris- I vote Mennonite!!! Luv that crunchy topping! Send some through the tube!
Very lucky I get to go for a beach walk today. May get a video of Jack running- just because he can!
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Hello my Beloved Crazies
Even though it's been relatively quiet here there is always SO much 'content' and quality. I too wish we could all meet. Maybe we really can get a group skype going. west Coast ladies, it's not out of the realm of possibility that I will make a trip out there sometime in the late winter/early spring.... But first Rain and I need to anchor the Brooklyn crazy tent- you gals are welcome here too.
Ducky each picture of your Grand and great grandchildren shows the most handsome people! looks and smarts- must be a chip off the 'old block'
Shorfi thank you for sharing that story- so open and revealing- tears in my eyes!
Sula congrats on that big project, it's really exciting. Hope you'll find time to rest and catch your breath once it launches.
Noddy everyone here has your back, breathe deep and I bet Katy has a really cozy corner for you to curl up in whenever you need it.
Octo what's happening today? Last chemo over- you must be thrilled.
Rain do you start the rads this week? Also I think you have a birthday coming up; didn't you mention that?
Slow what are you doing for Dh's birthday, is Sula baking a cake?
Katy a snuggle morning with Jack and Tutti- sounds divine. I'll pm you to figure out a time to connect on skype, maybe this weekend?
Chevy where are you?
PTS make both versions! how is the back? Have you followed up with more acupuncture?
Marie, did you really say 'I can't wait to see the scar'? Once I got a look at mine I actually starting taking pictures of myself as a way to 'document' the experience and also to become more at ease with the new 'look'. I guess I am just a tad Crazy. I even sent them to certain friends and my mother. I am a bit odd that way I guess.
Ok I'm off to the city for a client then a qi gong class I'm starting to take. Next week I am attending a breast health seminar at the acupuncture center- Rain if you are at all inclined...... It's all day Wednesday 11/18. I actually want to begin to offer day long classes in January. It's good stuff.
Ok crazies gonna get ready to face the gray day.
Hugs
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gala, have not done more acupuncture since starting the chiro as that gives more real relief, budget cannot do both , would love to as it is more what I call a mind/body thing
actually broke down and took a pain pill so the afternoon should be dandy
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Shorfi.. Thanks for sharing your story... Gosh, I was angry,/ depressed enough getting this once.. I can't imagine how I'll cope if it raises it's ugly head again.!! I think your idea for a surprise bridal shower for Gaia is a great idea.. Make sure no one tells her though :-)
Octo.. Hope you are feeling better after an early night !
Katy..Your description of how a garden should be is exactly what I want mine to be. You find the perfect words to paint a picture..You bought it to life for me when you talked of "rooms " in the garden.. That's what I want.. lots of different " rooms ".. to drink pina colada's ( with umbrellas in them:-)) HaHa.. I used to have Escape ( the pina colada song) as my ring tone on my phone!! I love your fur babies!!
Slow..So happy you had Poppy to go with you for your tests.. HaHa.. I just love the look on the technicians face ☺ I'm pea - green with envy how you girls can spend time together.. Please, please come to Australia to see me ! .. I have a comfy bed, chooks, wine and pina colada 's to keep us happy.!
Cubbie.. I love your garden.. It sounds simply beautiful.. So relaxing, with so many different areas to enjoy. It's fun creating a new garden.. but it will be a long time before it's established like yours.
Ducky.. Your grandson is SOO handsome :-)
PTS. Hope the pain pill helps !!
HI to everyone.. I am babysitting my 2 year old grandson Kyan, and 15 month grand daughter. Piper ( from different families) today.. So I'm going to be busy!! 😱
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Shorfi..............your in the right place Sweetie...............that is our new normal.........and guess what......we earned it...............I am not different then you.,............rabbit hole, basement, call it what you will......we have all gone there..........the important thing is that we come back...................big hugs girlfriend......your gonna make it............we're a tough bunch.........and we have earned the right to "YELL"................at whomever we damn please........................
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hey there, Sula, can you or someone send me your blog site? My sister is interested in Indian cooking but I can not find your site
thanks all
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thanks Katy, stay warm tonight!
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A nice long walk on the beach. Jack running like a bullet train. Out to lunch with my friend after. A pretty good day!
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Day after mastectomy surgery:
It really seems strange to look down and see my belly first. It may be more of an incentive to loose weight... I'm way too tall to make a good Buddha.
Today is not as good as yesterday. My arms feel like they made me bench press 100 pounds all night, then beat me up and stole my cleavage.
Maybe I should not post anything while on drugs.
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marie, you will be fine and this is CTtown anyhow~~
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sending healing and gentle hugs, Marie....
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Good evening Crazies,
I love reading all the threads. I've only just met you but wish we could meet also, you are all such wonderful women, so kind, so supportive, so direct and honest when needed. Nobody gets what we are going through. No one -except those of us who have or are dealing with this.
Noddy my heart goes out to you. I too have struggled most of the past five years. I agree with others that seeing a social worker or therapist is very helpful. Like an investment in yourself. I highly recommend it. I also took anti depressants for a year and a half. Best thing I ever did. It takes a huge weight off and it did make me feel so much better. I was afraid of it, thought it would change me somehow, but it really really helps. I felt so stuck for so long!!
Now, finally coming out of that, I get hit with my third diagnosis which sent me right back to the worst of thoughts. Thankfully, turns out to be a new primary, is tiny, and all my scans are clear. Feels like a miracle to me. Now just staring at a double mx with recon next. How to tell work, where everyone will automatically go to the same place I did, and try to convince them I am ok. Again. To some degree I have come to terms with the fact that this is a chronic disease for me. The F'ing gift that keeps on giving...
Katy love the pics of Jack and Tutti together.
Sula congrats on new venture.
Marie glad you are ok post surgery.
Octo, hope you are ok. Last one!!!!!
Ducky - sage advice
You guys are the best!!
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Marie- hugs ((())) and stay ahead of the pain. Thanks for letting us know how you are.
Notagain- hugs for you too... I can't imagine. I never even stopped to think about how to "manage" everyone else. Thanks for sharing your feelings as well.
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gaia0312, yes i do want to see it. When I had the first one done in June it was not flat at all, more like 3 rolls. He supposedly took off the rolls when he did the second one yesterday. Yes...2 different cancers in 5 months!
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What is it about me during 2nd time around I felt worse for my BS and was trying to comfort her and also my MO while he was just shaking his head in disbelief. No they did not prepare me 5 yrs ago saying that I was at higher risk. Yes I was in shock and she did put her arm around me and gave me a hug and said We Will get through this. I also restarted my Pristiq at that time and a referral to counseling. My sabbatical from them have been disastrous as well.
The soon to be moved out troll in the basement just keeps reiterating that "stuff" keeps happening... I'm well aware of that. He keeps telling me of the death dream he has of me despite me saying that I don't want to here it. I am hanging in there, looking forward to decorating for the holidays and not walking on egg shells in my own house.
Oh come on, Marie please post while on pain meds!! Sorry about the arm issues. I accused the folks in PACU of doing a sternly rub on me to wake me up the first time and them resting on my rib cage the 2nd time around.
Katy, I love watching Jack rip around on the beach, wish I had that much energy. We had a smooth hair fox terrier growing up and she was a pistol. She and the cat were best buddies.
Gaia, any word on the locale yet? Nice pic of the two of you.
To all the rest of you crazies, ((((((((hugs))))))) to you.
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Rose- he is an a-hole. Out the sooner the better. My grandmother would have washed his mouth out with soap! He needs to STFU about that dream. Which I am convinced he made up. Just to harass you. I hope you will be able to enjoy your holidays. He may need a shove. Do you have people you can call on for a bit of a strong arm approach if he keeps up the delay tactics??? How I would love to send THE ENFORCER...aka Italychick. Our town bouncer, Octogirl, is still recovering from last chemo, or I'm sure she would "take care if this" (wink, wink, nudge nudge)
Where are you QMC? I miss you! Are you ok?
And yes to PODs (posts on drugs). Very entertaining!
My Jack made me so happy today. I'm so VERY lucky to have him. His simple joy is always such a lesson for me. Now he's back under the covers, on the heating pad, not so subtly inching himself over, and me off!
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kicking assholes to the curb is my specialty! I am on it! Let me at him Rose. Just about to take my last steroid so I figure we have twelve hours till I start crashing....
Speaking of PODs...
Love to all.
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Yeah, I'm in to beat his ass too!
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Congrats on your product launch, Sula. It sounds like something that will interest people who want to try Indian cooking, but aren't sure where to start.
Slow, I'm relieved to hear that no news is good news in your case.
Ducky, you have the best looking grandchildren and successful, too. Must be their Grandma!
Shorfi, I found that doctors tend to be focused on the immediate problem, and don't think about future risk. I was the one who brought up future risk when we were talking surgery, not my doctors. You definitely belong here with us, having cancer twice must make you twice as crazy!
Iris, do you have a warm water pool where you are? Our Y has one, and although I've never tried it, I've heard it's really good for people working through pain issues. Maybe when I get on these anti-hormonals I'll try it myself. And you can't go wrong with apple pie no matter which kind you make.
Katy, that's really interesting how you introduced Jack and Tutti to each other. That picture of them looking outside together is beautiful.
Gaia, how did you like the qi gong class?
Lucy, sounds like you have your hands full!
Marie, I LOL'd about the part where they beat you up and stole your cleavage. I tell people I am shaped like the Grinch now. You know, he's sort of flat chested, but then he gets bigger around as you go down. I've got to lose weight in the hips area to make it all match. I hope you feel better with the pain medication.
NotAgain, I'm glad to hear your scans are clear. Hugs, and hang in there.
Rose, that troll is like the one in the kid's story, nothing but a noisemaker. He needs to get out of your house. Pardon my french, but what the fluff is wrong with this guy? My arms may still be a bit iffy, but my big feet are still up to butt kicking. He needs to get running, before us girls come over there and launch him.
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Hi Crazies,
Once again, you've all been so busy! Good job, all.
Sula, so excited for your new venture.
ChiSandy, I looked into Hamilton a while ago. Prices ranged from just under $500 to nearly $1600 per seat. I can't imagine who can afford to bring the whole family to something like that! Meanwhile, tickets to the Shakespeare histories at the Brooklyn Academy of Music are going on sale next week. I have never seen Henry V live. So instead of a musical about an American founding father, we'll take in a British king or two.
Cubby, your garden sounds wonderful; you described it so well.
Katy, ditto the story of Jack.
Marie, I'm so glad you came through the surgery. Hope the healing is smooth.
Noddy, it would be purely crazy to come through this all and not be affected emotionally. I think that's why we're all here. Be good to yourself.
Shorfi and Notagain, your stories show such courage.
Rose, love the picture of the troll. What a great description. Hope he soon is dispatched to that rocky place under the bridge (where the billy goats can gang up on him).
Lucy, enjoy the little ones. Love toddlers!
And older ones, too. Fingers crossed for your boy, Ducky.
Proud, apple crumb sounds pretty spectacular.
Octo, minestrone and no more chemo and a husband who gardens. What could be bad?
Crazies, I think we have settled the insurance matter. Suffice it to say that the story of the 200+ Sloan Kettering patients who were covered by the failed insurance company finally hit the papers late last week, and within a couple of days there was a deal to transfer our care to another insurer. It's not ideal, and there are still details to be worked out, but I can continue my treatment without interruption. Nothing like the combo of sad cancer patients, one of the biggest media markets in the country, a politically charged environment for health care, and a mayor and a governor who both have their eyes on higher office and don't want to be embarrassed by this to force a resolution! I have to say that with the exception of those first few weeks after I was diagnosed (sound familiar?), this has been the most stressful thing I have gone through since learning I have BC. Because I knew I was getting good health care and just had to get through it and hope it worked. I knew that I could trust the doctors to get me what I needed. But the insurance: never have I felt so powerless--and there was no one to trust. Different answers to my questions from multiple sources. Crazy in a deep and utterly terrifying way. Just. Crazy.
Well, it's more or less over, and thanks once again for listening (or scrolling past!). Have a delightful evening!
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Rainny- so glad to hear this news! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎉💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃
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Rainny, that's good news. You're right, I think some politicians made some phone calls to their contacts at the insurance companies, asking for somebody to take these patients. The important thing is that you can focus on getting well.
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