CRAZY TOWN WAITING ROOM - TESTS coming up? All Stages Welcome.
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Gaia, put on headphones and dance and sing at the top of your lungs. Screw the neighbor! A gal has gotta have her music! I wore my ear buds all through everything, wire needle placement, chemo, waiting or surgery,everything. I just told the doctors, sorry, I'm going to my safe place now, tap me if you need to say anything.
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I'm so tired after this week, I think I'm going straight to bed for once, but I did want to pop in and say Jack and his Pomeranian friend are so adorable, especially in the official "uniforms". So much cute in one place.
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I am here... 6pages behind but caught up now.. For a minute anyway.
Reading Tender at the Bone by Ruth Reichl, thanks so much for the recommendation. I am going to cook my way through it when I read it again. I am going to loan it to my therapist first. Yes our mental health needs to be taken care of along with the dastardly c. He has scheduled me through the first of the year. I have her new book on pre-order that is being released in March.
The troll is clueless as to where he is moving on to but he does know when. 1 month and counting. He is gone from 11p-830a and sleeps til I am gone to work. So our paths don't cross, except for his days off.
Loving the pics, sorry for the missing purse, T definitely messes with the mind and liver. I stopped after 4 years due to running out of GAS (give a $hit). Hope the LFT return to normal as well as the mood... Took about 2 months for the fog to start to lift.
As for the pain, after 7 broken bones and surgeries my ortho doc sat me down and said "there are no heros or awards for suffering, take your meds" if you are aware of you addictive tendencies you should not have a problem. People in pain using meds for legitimate reasons don't get addicted. No we probably won't be pain free.. I don't like to be sent to CT with every jab or spasm.. I want to feel like my right earlobe feels. Take the edge off and don't be in misery or suck it up. (((((Hugs to all)))))))
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Cubbie,
So happy that everything is good! Whew!
Jack,
Hope everything goes well for you and that you're feeling better soon. Tamoxifen definitely sounds like the culprit. It'll be good that you get a break from it.
It's late here... So just quickly ... Once again Ducky you have a very photogenic crew there!!!
Slow,
I love that picture! I'd also love to know what you were smoking!
Tom,
Wow... Now you've got me looking that stuff up too! I pulled something in my ribs lifting that freakin slow cooker last week... Felt something pop so I' hurting there... However I've been having that happen for decades, I move the wrong way and stuff pops. Fuckin' hurts!
I have my last Herceptin next arrival and then my port removed a few days after that. Well... Love to Shorfi, Proud, Rainn, Gaia, Octo, Writer, Chi... Know I'm Forgetting someone...welcome Marijen, peace out all
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Hi Crazies
Just a quick post of some family pics from Thanksgiving
The mothership and her brother Anthony aka 'Tuffy' he 'cheffed' the meal
My SIL and Nephew and brother
Me, the eldest cousin, with Magnolia, the youngest at 4 months, of the next generation of cousins.... That's the back of her Great Grandma's head...
I'll check in more properly later
Hugs
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You look fab, Gogo! Thanks for the lift this morning!
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OMG. Laughed so hard tears streamed down. If any of you know my history, and hers, you'll know why she is "Goddess Leia" to me. And she brought her dog. Awwww. He's probably a therapy dog, but doesn't need no stinkin' vest to prove it.
If you need a laugh today, click on the above. A funny, fascinating woman who has battled severe mental health issues all her life. I might have to drive to the big city to see this one!
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afternoon all,
Katy, it sounds like I may have to actually pay for a movie, would be fun to see Carrie Fisher as she is now in a movie, good interview
ok, so now the TV is showing Pepins 80th birthday special, gonna look to see if I spy Sula. They are starting with Rick Bayless as the guest and I do like him as well
enjoy the afternoon, thinking of a nap, woke up late this morning so back from my gym thing late and still tired
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Katy, thank you so much for a much needed giggle. I have read her books, and love her to bits! I will have to go and see her in the new one! Too bad her sweet little sleepy man isn't in it too!
I was up so late last night being over the edge crazy, my poor man....
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I think I live in crazy town. My husband had a stroke in March, I found out I had cancer in June and again November... This was yesterday:
Sometimes you think you are over something but sometimes the feelings are there waiting to pop up at unexpected times. It sounds silly today but yesterday I had texted my husband and did not get an answer... No big deal. Then I get home and his car is in the driveway. I go in the house and it's eerily quiet. Jim always has some type of music or tv on. I call out and there is no answer. I start going room to room expecting to see him on the floor. Possibly dead. The feelings of panic set in and I have flashbacks to him having a stroke in front of me. Then Jim walks in... He had been in the car in the driveway finishing a phone call with a coworker. Poor guy can't understand why I'm so upset! I read an article about cancer patients having PTSD from the experience. I think I may have it from his stroke. Therapy may not be a bad idea....😳
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Gaia.. I love your photos!! You and your Mum both have such gentle, beautiful, relaxed, thoughtful, faces.!! Seriously..!!
Katy 😃
Marie.. I can understand your worry over your husband !! If mine is late home I know my mind turns to "the dark side ".. whereas it didn't used to... my goodness.. you have both been through such a lot this last year.. Sending you (( Hugs))
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Marie: that doesn't sound silly to me today. Overreaction, possibly, but an understandable one.
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Katy just watched that clip. Amazingly funny. Needed that laugh. Thank you.
Lucy thanks for your kind words. We are actually a pretty nutty bunch.
Italy. Thanks for the back up the other night. I do have headphones not quite the same but I may try them later if I feel like busting a move
Marie it seems quite a natural response given why you and your DH have dealt with in such a short span.
Tom what drove you to crazy town last night?
Sula yay for last herceptin and Port removal
Rain what cooking this weekend? Yesterday sounded like a long day of treatment. Next Friday still good for me btw. Let's pm to make a plan
Octo are the latkes in progress?
Ducky I bet your family devours the beans!
Shorfi I hope the Tylenol 3 helps.
Ok more a little later. I need to get some sunshine on my face. Feeling drained after a sweet skype call to one of my dearest friends, an ex of mine from college, first time telling him my news you know the good and the crap. Emotionally tiring so some fresh air in order
Hugs
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my best boy appearing on a card highlighting the library programs. He's on the bottom left with a little girl reading to him.
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so sweet
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Trying to catch up...
Shorfi, I hope you can get some relief from the back pain. I had a co-worker who had surgery, and it made a big difference for him. I know they're reluctant to do surgery, but sometimes it is the answer.
Rainny, you are officially past the halfway mark on rads - woot!
Gaia, great photos. Another gorgeous family!
Rose, I'm glad the troll is moving along. I agree about our mental health needing to be taken care of as well. I think this is something that is really lacking where I'm located.
Sula, only one Herceptin to go, woot! It always confuses me for a second when people say they are being deported. Of course, they mean de-ported, but I keep thinking there's always that instant where I think "where are we sending patients who are done with treatment?" Hope it's some place warm and sunny!
Katy, I loved the interview with Carrie Fisher. She was so funny, and Gary the Dog just stole the show! Jack is such a good listener. I see the schools are recommending reading to pets or stuffed animals as good practice for kids.
((Marie)) I can't imagine who you felt in those moments before he walked in. You've been through a lot this year, it's totally understandable.
I know I'm missing some people, Sandy, Lucy, Iris, Ducky, and more...I've got to skadaddle, supposed to be meeting some people in a half hour.
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Marie, I too could swear I’m having more PTSD over DH’s medical travails than mine. I get so nervous when I see him sitting up in bed in the middle of the night, one knee bent and the other atop it--that was his “I’m in pain” signal during his perforated colon and incarcerated hernia ordeals that led to four emergency hospital admissions and two surgeries in two months. He is so stoic that if he says he hurts then I know he’s in pure agony. It’s gotten so when I see him, DS or my cats asleep I start to panic until I see them breathe.
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Hello, crazies--
What a nice Saturday! No trip to Manhattan. No rads. Went as far as the greenmarket across the street and a little gift shop three blocks away to buy candles for the menorah. Stopped at the local book store and lusted after the Plenty and Jerusalem cookbooks for a change. I have bread almost ready to go into the oven, one of Bernard Clayton's recipes. It's basically a sandwich bread, with a cup of oatmeal and 3/4 cup of maple syrup. It's not sweet but has a rich, nutty flavor. Bought fish for supper and thinking about roast sweet potatoes and kale. We shall see.
Love the photos of Thanksgiving and dogs and teenage grandchildren. Shorfi, glad you're back! Proud, did you see Sula? Rose, glad the troll is on his way under the bridge!
Italy, I used noise canceling headphones to listen to music all through chemo. Now with rads, I'm actually bringing a small speaker into the room with my iPad. The techs are tolerant; I think they can spot a sanity-saving device when they see one!
Marie, I have had the moment of panic so many times. DH has the occasional moment in his sleep where I wake suddenly and wonder if he's still alive. And when DS was small...how many times did I stand over the crib, just watching for signs of breathing!
Did some work on the school board volunteer project. Need to download some sort of recording software app for my iPad for work. Any suggestions?
Have a groovy Saturday night, crazies!
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Rainny- so happy to hear your more than halfway through! Glad you're enjoying the greenmarket and the nabe and staying off subways and out of tigers' dens. Enjoy!
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DH working too late today for Christkindlmarkt shopping--may not even have enough time for a pre-theater nosh. So I may grab some slices of turkey breast or lox to keep my hunger at bay and then see if there’ll be a cast party with food afterward or we can get into Mercat a la Planxa across the street from the theater (or maybe even Buddy Guy’s for blues and Cajun food).
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gaia, I see a lot of resemblance between you and your Mom in those pics! Love that everyone is smiling.....
Octogirl
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Katy, he is indeed such a good boy!
Octogirl
p.s. Love to all the crazies. It has been a crazy day today, but not in a bad way. Will catch up tomorrow.
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And the bread!
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Hey, everybody,
Tomboy invited me to join you. I am in the very early stages of my journey. Started Tamoxifen on November 13 and on about November 15 was scratching around in a storage box for a batch of Celexa prescribed to help me sleep. It didn't work but I thought it would help the crushing depression from the Tamoxifen.
As for Crazy Town, that is where I live! I had a great sense of humor until November 15. I live in a very nice mobile home in the Deep South. It is not like the trailers you see in the movies. I lived in crummy city apartments in the D.C. area for years. May not ever own this home outright cause the homeowners insurance goes up every year, and on a limited income it may cost too much to finish out the mortgage. It is comfy. I like it. I shop mostly online and hate going to stores. Zulily has become one of my favorite destinations. I have ordered so much stuff online that the postman has developed a clear dislike for me as he is constantly delivering packages. When I say thank you, he waves, but his back is turned towards me. Now, can you imagine being the object of disdain by the postman?
I have developed insomnia. I have had it on and off for years. When I wake up, I go in the kitchen and eat whatever I can find, peanuts, Great Value Kettle Chips. I have a friend who lives down the street who takes Ambien every night. She gets up and eats her way through the fridge but she does not remember what she has done the next morning. She says someone saw her shopping at Wal-Mart one night, but she must have been asleep. I decided against taking Ambien. I might just get up in the middle of the night and sleepwalk to her house. We then could jump in her Mustang, both sleep walking, and go on a wild spree at Wal-Mart. No Ambien for me. I have enough trouble finding my keys when I am awake. I can't imagine what I might do asleep.
I am a writer by academic training and profession, now disabled by fibromyalgia. I worked my way up in the DC power structure by tap dancing and flying by the seat of my pants. Then I got sick one day and that joy ride was over.
I live out in the country. For a long time, there were cows in the pasture across from the last place I lived. I found out then that cows really will all turn together in a row looking at you in unison as you look at them.
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Welcome to CrazyTown, DecisionFreak! (I'm about two weeks ahead of you on the tamoxifen journey, and am decidedly grateful that I'm already on trazodone.)
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Hi, queenmomcat,
Trazadone helped me sleep, but it nearly crippled me. I have Lyme and fibromyalgia, though. Hope the Trazadone works for you! Do read the monograph on side effects. Nobody knew what was happening to me! Also,Trazadone doesn't mix too well with some OTC pain killers.
So, I am sure we will talk again. Be safe.
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Rainny- the bread look mahhhhvelous! Send some through the tube...please?
Decision- so sorry for the insomnia, depression and general craziness feeling. You came to the right place. Welcome.
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Decision: Huh. I'd been on trazodone for about four months before starting tamoxifen, and hadn't noticed (more) pain. Go figure. But then I don't have concomitant full-body systemic issues. Just a bleeped spine. But regardless, glad Tomboy sent you on over..
Rainny: hovering eagerly around my tube, clutching a knife and a stick of butter. Gotta start making bread again, Kneading the stuff by hand's a great way to VENT. Beating the crap out of a mass of recalcitrant dough after a frustrating day (week, month, year, lifetime) with more medical professionals than I ever wanted to know about makes for bread with well-developed gluten.
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Jackbirdie,
Thank you for your kind note. I am trying to reframe the bc as a wake up call to change some things about my life. I am generally healthy, despite being disabled with fibromyalgia. LOL, I have a moratorium on Zulily shopping as it is bad for my pocketbook. I am going to get up off the couch and start exercising. Reese's peanut butter cups are however non-negotiable. In moderation, that is.
How far has my family walked into Crazy Town? My mother, who is 85, got bed sores 24 hours after her last chemo treatment for metastatic breast cancer. With the help of her doctor and the home health agency nurse, I have been tending to these wounds now for several weeks. Last night, my brother, who also lives with me along with my Mom, wondered outloud if bears get sores on their backsides during hibernation and if not why not. I think we have all gone stark raving mad.
I tend to find odd distractions. I am trying to grow out my fingernails on my right hand so I can study the classical guitar. I can while away an evening online picking out stuff for my nails. Now, how many of you started a brand new endeavor after your BC diagnosis? I would love to hear what new activities you started to enrich your lives and to stop worrying about BC. Did anybody go to clown school? I thought about it for a few minutes but I could never do those wild gymnastics. I did learn about the history of the most famous school for clowns, now defunct. What a wild and crazy ride!
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Decision- it must be very hard apportioning your energy, caring, worrying, and crazy making between your own dx and caring for your mom. I am truly sorry. Your reframing is a great idea and some classical guitar sounds very nice.
I have not really so much started anything new, but rather have returned to some old loves, like cooking and gardening, and remaining very dedicated to sharing the best little therapy tool out there. My dog. We go on visits to many homes, hospitals, treatment centers, and without fail it gets me out of my head and I get instant gratification when I see how he makes others happy. Being not so much a patient person, instant gratification is valued highly by moi.
The one truly new thing in my life are the friendships I have found here. I never dreamed I'd be in the position I'm in, but I also could never have imagined the real support and friendship you could find in a place like this. Non judgemental, true caring is a wonderful gift and I'm very, very grateful for it.
Ok someone pass the Kleenex and let's sing kum bay ya.
🎪🎪🎪🎪🎪
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