CRAZY TOWN WAITING ROOM - TESTS coming up? All Stages Welcome.
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O yea, Bep, that was real mean....haha.....ha! Now I don't want to play anymore! Just kidding, I don't really think of you as bubbly, that , now that I ponder it some more, no one should be bubbly after the age of six or more. I actually meant the bitter, minerally kind! Ha! You sure were up late, it's like two a.m. now, started reading here, dozed off, woke back up. Nice to see you here. I change nicknames all the time, now katy is katy didn't.. and i didn't mean to call Guy, goo. Gogo is an excellent choice, katy picked the best name for gaia. Right now, I am having fun calling my neighbor Holly, Hollar! Goonight, SDB
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Just wanted you ladies to know that the Tylenol 3 is working...but the constipation...another story. I will continue to take my Miralax to help that problem. I didn't take it yesterday, but did woof down some Motrin. IDK if I should be doing that...what do ya think???
It feels so nice not having that leg and back pain...but to continue taking pills...I don't feel is good. But for now...I like not having pain and I love that I feel about 90% better. I take my time walking now and even did a load of clothes this morning before coming to work
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Gaia...you are so cute!!!! I love your hair too. Thanks for sharing your photos.
Marie...I understand your fear about your husband. I am so nuts that when I don't hear my husband snore...I think that maybe he has died and I shake him. Talk about crazy!!!So what you have gone through and your husband is perfectly understandable...at least to me...
Sula...congrats on one more to go.
Decision...{{{{{hugs}}}}}. I was my mom's caregiver during her journey with Alzheimer's. She was diagnosed a few weeks before I was diagnosed with cancer the first time. Unlike you I had very little help from my siblings. Be thankful that your brother is helping you during this time.
Rainy...that bread...ummmmmmmmmmmmmm...with some butter.
Katy...thanks for sharing that clip. It was so funny and just what I needed to start off my work day. And I love Jack sitting there with the little girl. How sweet!
Now to do some work...but just had to stop by and say hello. I love you ladies and appreciate you all so much
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Good Morning crazies................Party went great (thought I said that before).........
Waiting to hear from the realtor......they are being rea A-holes about all this........the inspection guy asked my realtor to find out where the tool was to take my cover off the pool so he can inspect it........I went ballastic....I paid $250.00 for my pool person to close and winterize my pool,and now this "freak" who knows shit about pools wants to take the cover off...................for what................to see what color the water is..........and then if he drops the cover in the water who the hell is going in to get it out..........
I am so fed up with this crap it is not funny......the idiots seem more concerned about the inspection of the pool then the house..........this deal will probably go down the toilet, but I am at the point no wthat I don't care........I am $30,000 below the asking price and they are still wanting more and more............it is not going to happen...........I think I told you the buyer is a Pa. realtor, so I don't trust him one bit...............like I don't trust car salesmen.........Sorry ladies.....if any of you have that profession in your life, but have been burnt before..............
My grandson who was hit by the car has his MRi of his head today and his shoulder.....he is still in a lot of discomfort and having headaches.......not to mention seems extremely depressed and is in Chicago away from us.....I worry about him......he seems very down.........his brother lives there too, but is married, working, going to Northwestern University for his Masters's........so he has very little time...they are close, but time is an issue......Patrick has a dog, which helps considerably........and if not for "Zoey" I think he would be worse.......sitting talking after the wedding he said to me..."Nan that dog keeps me alive".........scary huh.............
Well you ladies all have a great day.........for me its just "another day"........I miss taking care of Bobby........but I do understand......they don't trust me......hugs all.0 -
oh ducky, sorry about the idiot realtor, dang but hope not to need one of those anytime soon. sounds like your GS is feeling down as he is in pain and not able to do the stuff he likes, we all get that
Cubbie, once you get the nerve to go into a spin class, it really is a hi to finish the class, you just peddle as fast as you can and ignore the comments of the instructor. Course not doing it now with the dumb back thing. Kale, well this morning I had leftover polenta with kale mixed in; I also do a salad that is really good, chop up the kale and mix it with an acid and rub it to make it get soft and add nuts and marmalade and whatever moves you. By the way, this will help to move you~~~~
Octo, I confess to really enjoying my alone time and always have
Slow, I totally think that the cuteness of the chiro guys is helping my back pain, I believe in it and so there! but mano, if I can get relief with out pills then so be it. Course I am dedicated to my stretching and pool time also
Shorfi, glad the pills are helping you, you have more than enough pain and if those pills work, then perhaps they can get you to the point of being able to do things more. I took pain meds till I had things under control and could exercise so wish that would work for you.
Well this past weekend I researched and booked 2 long overdue doc visits, got an eye doc visit today and then a dental checkup on Thursday. Fun week huh?
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Beppy- thanks do much for continuing to think of me.
Shorfi- 🙋 I believe it is ok to take Tylenol and Advil together, since one goes through the liver, (Tylenol) and the other through the kidney. And they work on pain in entirely different ways. I wouldn't do it long term, and it would be better to stagger it, not just dump it all in at once. And it would be best to ask a doc. You can google it, there are lots of discussions of "Tylenol and Advil together".
Iris- the kale sounds yummy like that! I might steal that.
Ducky- I am so sorry to hear about the shore house hassle but even more about your grandson. Although I don't think it's abnormal for him to be down after what he's been through, and still going through, he should mention this depression to his doctor. It sounds crippling. It is best not to let it fester. I'm so glad he has his beloved pooch. I sure understand.
So I am definitely feeling better after only 5 days off Tamoxifen. It really scares me, the idea of not having the protection. But really, the way I was feeling.....that would not work out well on a long term basis.
I was doing a little research last night and found several articles about some small studies that had been done using Tamoxifen to control bipolar mania. I found that amazing, as that is the hardest part to control. Only lithium has had long term success doing that, and I was hospitalized twice for lithium toxicity, and can't take it. But I can see how Tamoxifen would be effective in this. It effectively squashed any and all joy from my life and fast! Yeah. Not doing that.
I can't take anti-depressants anyway, (no bipolar person can, because it triggers mania) but I am so done (and apparently, so is my liver) with taking one pill, and then another for the SE, and something else for that. It was one thing to do that during chemo. That was four months for me.
Just to give an idea, I have had the thought several times in the last week that I might rather do chemo again than 5-10 years feeling like this. I always thought I would be able to suck up hormone/endocrine therapy, and that the SEs really couldn't be that bad.....and I can't prove that the mood problems were related, ( though my MO thinks they were).But the liver issue is proof in a test tube, since nothing else will have changed.
I have had some very difficult conversations with myself about the fine lines between wanting to live, declining a treatment that I know will improve my chances of that, and not wanting to live under certain conditions. At what point does the will not to live "that way" become pathological?
Some very difficult questions, and mostly rhetorical. I don't expect anyone, even my shrink, could give me the answer to that one.
So, wishing my Crazies a good Monday, and hoping I didn't bring anyone down with my restless chatter.
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Katy, what you say about the effects of tamoxifen are exactly true, for me too. I have been back on them for a few months now, and it does seem a little better this time, but I did get really depressed on them before. Yes! they did take away ALL my enthusiasm and joy, and it was getting to the point where yes it was very scary to me. I almost stopped even just getting out of bed. My onc didn't like hearing that, and that is when he gave me a three month break. I just didn't want to not tell him if I stopped. I would glare at that pill, everytime I took it. The part about difficult conversation with yourself? I know that one intimately. As a matter of fact, the other night, I had a long talk with BMF about this. He was adamant that how I am behaving on tamoxifen is really me, now, and I am just as adamant that me on tamoxifen- is not me. I start telling myself things in my head, that he would be better off without me, he deserves better than this, he would do better than me with my investments (no real estate, Ducky!) he wouldn't have my crap all over the place, and he would be free of my chemical insanities, and my lost marbles wouldn't trip him.
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Jack....I can completely understand...........those SEs' from hormone therapy are brutal if your unfortunate enough to get them............
I told the story once before of a friend who has taken tamoxifin, Arimidex for 25 years......has had no SE's at all.........she is only 1 year younger then I am....so it isn't "youth".............guess its the luck of the draw.......I know there are many pain meds I could take to stop it all, but for what............more SE's from those drugs.......I worked for big Pharma for 20 years.....in Market Researh........I know what this shit can do.............I am not taking another drug.l
I made the decision to stop....but again remember I am 80.....would I have done that at a younger age like so many of you...........I can't say, but I do know I could not go on the way I was............My biggest mistake was doing the Arimidex after stopping the Letrozole.........WHY............just to see if that one would work.............it was worse.........and the SE's from that drug did not go away completely.................still don't feel that great.
My biggest problem was the dizziness and off balance..........in addition to the pain............feet, thighs, back, hips.........was not worth it.........but that is a decsion each one has to make..........
So I know where your coming from Jackie.......just hang in there, and make your choice on what you feel is best for ;you..............your much younger then I.......hugs.0 -
(((Tomboy))) thanks for getting this and not judging. I wish I could give you a real hug. I wish I could say it will get better. There have been many days I don't get dressed, don't bother to get up. Poor Jack. Going on his visits is the only thing that helps. And it's a temporary fix.
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Thanks Ducky. I know life is a gift. I feel very bad questioning that. Today is better. We will see where this month goes, mood wise and liver wise. Right now I'm just so relieved not to feel like I'm not just down the rabbit hole, but at the bottom of a dark well.
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Iris, We will all be in your pocket today for your eye appointment!! Please let us know how it goes when you can!! Your salad sounds yummy!!
Tomboy, (((((hugs))))). I've asked myself those same questions when it comes to my DH. When you have such a big change in your quality of life, I think it makes you question many things in your life - especially relationships. It sounds like the Tamox really magnifies it all. I think the important thing is to keep talking it through.It's been my experience that silence just erodes the relationship.
Holly Hollar...too funny!! My dad used to have nicknames for everyone. Some of them not so nice. My niece used to have a very unmotivated boyfriend so he called him "the lump." He used to call me Soupy because I lived on soup. He also called me Boop for obvious reasons.Katy, I hope you continue to feel better daily. I hear you about the SE's from the pills. It's like a never ending loop. Interesting about Tamox controlling bipolar mania. It's so difficult trying to control pain, depression and all that goes with this diagnosis while trying to maintain quality of life. I've also had to make some tough choices in my treatment plan to balance what I can live with long term. Throw preexisting conditions into the mix and it gets really complicated. It must be so challenging for you to juggle it all. I'm glad you're talking about it here. I think sharing our struggles honestly can help others dealing with the same issues. Plus holding it inside isn't good for us.
Shorfi, YAY for the Tylenol!! Very happy to hear it's working. This isn't medically proven of course, but I swear by the marshmallow and chocolate cookies by Kroger as being a wonderful aide to constipation. People think I'm nuts, but it's one of the few things that keep me...ummm....moving. No other brand works!! Seriously.
Ducky!! Are you messing with me???? Did you really talk about Makayla's party already???? Are you trying to make a poor, crazy girl go even crazier??? hahaha....I looked for pictures, I looked for details and I couldn't find ANYTHING!! Chevy???? Back me up here....am I going nuts??? They don't call me "slow" for nothing, ya know?
I can't believe you're going through so much on the sale of the shore home. When I sold my last home, they didn't like that the patio cover addition was not permitted. We said, "No problem, we will just tear it down." That changed their tune very quickly. Suddenly the non-permitted patio cover didn't matter. I hope you get past the inspection point soon. That is always the worst part of the transaction. Sorry to hear about Patrick. I hope he starts feeling better soon. He will be in my thoughts and prayers today. I hope the MRI gives some insight into why he is having the headaches.
Edited to add a group hug!! I think one is needed today.
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Katy, your post spoke to me, thanks for writing about this subject. I decided after active treatment that both the anti-hormonals and Tamox was not worth the SE and misery associated with them, I'd rather enjoy the next 5 years without them, my Onc. "fired" me, but I found another one, much more understanding. I was 68 at diagnosis, have several other health conditions that could kill me as easily as cancer, so I had more than enough to deal with, and did not do the pills. I was 95% er+, but need my estrogen to function, the grade 3 and the high ER+ was the reason for the Oncs insistence. I had surgery in July of 2009, so over 6 years, and still NED re: breastcancer.
Best wishes for you that you find your peace with whatever you decide.
dsgirl
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A happy picture. Two pals taking a rest after playing hard. Dogs really know how to live.
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Slow I swear I said "party went well" did not elaborate, or maybe I didn't.............remember I have that "memory lost shit that happened" .............ok, just kidding............:LOL.........maybe I didnd't mention it.......I will have to go back myself and check...............haha
There were no pictures.........so your rigtht there.......haha
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dsgirl- thanks do much for your input and support. Your post really helped.
Beppy- I love how dogs live. I have my Jack snuggled up with me and even the mighty huntress is here with us (taking care of her massive personal grooming needs,.., that TAIL!)
I couldn't find her yesterday. Looked everywhere. I was SURE she was in. Finally found her nestled among some quilting stuff I threw up on top of the armoire at Thanksgiving. Who knows how she got up there? Well she gets on the roof too. Quite the athlete.
And here is a little more dog fun. Fleas Navidog!
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ewt717,
I just saw your grand, extravagant welcome.
Katy, I have been on Tamoxifen for less than a month. I don't know what I am going to do. Maybe rads and nothing else. I don't feel full of XMAS cheer. I hate being on an antidepressant. My brother and I were getting my Mom ready to chemo today, and my brother was telling me how to position the wheelchair to get my Mom down the ramp that the church just built. My mind was somewhere else, and I didn't understand what my brother was telling me. He got really nasty. I told him I am on new meds that could be affecting the way I process information. Then, I told him if he was going to get nasty with me that I could start pointing out his faults.
I am a very young 61, nearly. I want to enjoy the next five years. I don't want to live in a Tamoxifen induced depression.
I have to go to my GYN doctor tomorrow morning to see if he can figure out why I had a brown discharge and pelvic discomfort two weeks after starting Tamoxifen.
To others who had made supportive comments, I read each and every one of your posts, and I am glad to be part of this unusual group of ladies, er, women.
Gotta move the laundry.
Bah, humbug. This is not me.
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What a great picture. Tutti cracks me up. My cat is so unmotivated she wouldn't even jump on the furniture. No adventure in her at all!! I had the cat in the house while the new dog was outside, he opened the screen door and chased right after the cat. The cat ran to her cat door in the garage and the little dog came running to me yelping. I'm guessing the cat won that round. No emergency trips to the vet. I think the dog was just scared. haha
I was worried about my two dogs not getting along at first. As you can see from the picture I posted, they are joined at the hip now. Don't you just love when they snuggle with you???
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Slow Honey.............go back 7 posts...............TADA....................its there..............LMAO
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hahahahahahahahahaha!! Pass the solo cup!!
Edited to add: I didn't know this!!
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you know, there's something I've been meaning to say for a long time. Although breast cancer can and does hit women at all ages, I would say that many of us here would not be considered "young" by most objective standards. (Except my baby sister Littleblueflowers 💗)
But I've noticed time and again how much I feel like I'm talking to high school girlfriends. You know the kind you trust anything with, open, unafraid ??.. In my mind's eye, I see us all as essentially and perpetually young. I think if all of you as "girls", not ladies or women. Is that weird?
Even our screen names tell the story. When I read posts, whether I am posting or just lurking on a lonely night, I am often struck how many screen names include or incorporate the word "girl" or "chick" or another word that is essentially young and fun. (Just Ducky!) Or mystical and meaningful (Gaia)
It just strikes me as significant, that even with something so simple, a screen name can be so defining. When we get just a few letters or a word to define ourselves, we choose to reveal ourselves to our new world as young, fun, loving, wise, and otherwise special.
I just wanted to bring it up. I think it's one if the reasons this is collectively such a positive, beautiful place. Because the particants choose to see and present ourselves as whole, beautiful entities, despite the earthy scarring that has befallen us all here.
Just sayin'
Love to all my Crazies today.
🎪🎪🎪🎪🎪
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Such a lovely, well described thought Katy. You rock sweet sister!!
In my mind, I still feel like a young girl. It's shocking when I look in the mirror. haha
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Decision- hugs. You and your brother are undeniably under a lot of stress. I hate when those kind of things happen, since you two are yoked together for this earthly work. I hope later today one of you can manage a smile or a sneak attack hug.
Frankly, I know very few people/families who could even care for each other at a fraction of the level you do. I think you are amazing, and should remind yourself of that fact often. Your brother too.
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DF, I think being a care giver is one of the most difficult jobs on the planet. Especially when it's your own family member. I've seen the most patient of people crack under the pressure. My mom had Lou Gehrig's disease and it was so awful. Not only are you dealing with your own life issues, but you've got the added burden of being responsible for the care of someone you love. There are so many emotions to contend with being in that position. My sister and I are extremely close. When we were caring for my mom, it was intense...emotions were high and tempers were short. If it's any consolation, we are still the best of friends. Many years later (22), we often talk about how difficult a time that was for each of us. Gentle hugs to you!!
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Katy, you nailed why I chose Octogirl for the boards. I love my friends the octos, and I don't want to get old. I want to have fun while I am still young. Thank you for your words of wisdom. No, one does not have to be old to be wise.
Love to you and all the crazies.
Octogirl (age 61. How did that happen?)
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D'Freak, I am hoping that you don't think you also didn't get a grand and extravagant welcome from Slow. if you go back and look, your welcome banner is the one underneath the sparkly party in your pocket one, the one with spinning purple hearts on either end? That one she made just for you!
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Katy, yes, this is the earthly work that I must do now. My religion teaches that we are on earth to learn, to grow, and to perfect ourselves as much as possible. Family comes first. My brother struggles with major depression. After I saw the shrink last week, he wrote "major depression - single episode" on my Celexa prescription. I have been on antidepressants before, but never got much benefit. I benefited greatly from HRT that I had to stop. I need my estrogen. The Tamoxifen made my brain feel as if it were being squeezed by a vise. It was horrendous.
The high priest of my church says we are amazing. Other people have said the same thing. We have been hit by too much in the last 13 years. Now, I worry about my house and where I will live if I can't pay for the constant increases in homeowners insurance. I have to solve problems for myself and my brother. I believe he is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from about 8 hospitalizations this past year that culminated in the loss of the top third of his foot due to a diabetic foot infection. I finally had to start stuffing the pile of his hospital bills into a box. He will eventually have to declare medical bankruptcy.
I just saw the UPS lady driving the big brown truck. I waved at her, and she waved back. I could feel her happiness roll out the truck and over the lawn.
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oh, and ps: thanks to all for having me in the pocket during rads sim. I am officially tattooed, and all of that. It was only mildly torturous, mostly that it stiffened up my shoulder to have hands over my head for so long (doing it on my back). The actual rad time won't be nearly as bad, since it will be much shorter. RO says he has been thinking about me a lot and will let me know when I start Monday what his Stanford board thinks about 16 day version vs six week version (I've asked for the Canadian protocol if possible, he is uncertain about it due to tumor location and breast size etc, meaning possible greater risk of side effects and said he would run it by the Stanford board since he is on their faculty and affiliated..but, whatever happens, I like the fact that he is thinking about it! His manner is very sweet and thoughtful)
The tech guy was ok and clearly very careful about his work, which of course one wants, although it didn't help my cranky mood (not enough sleep last night, too much anxiety, should have taken some of my green 'medicine') when, while making small talk, he asked me what job my husband took that we moved from SF to our small town...No, um, that would be ME that got the irresistible job offer out in the boonies, and DH loves me enough that he'd follow me anywhere! (grr.....). Anyway, other than that, all went well and the drive only took 35 minutes each way, ten minutes less than when we had our consult. Hopefully that will continue....
Hugs;
Octogirl
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Ok ladies...........my SIL took this picture at the party.....didn't know anyone did..........this is the 5 great grandchildren......#6 Lila was alseep somewhere in the house...........You can see Makayla on the far right......just her head she is grandchild #18, and also the Birthday Girl...........the face that snuck in on the bottom is Bobby's Mom...Genna..........
The rest is Bobby on the floor with the football.....Shea is at the bottom far right......then Mila.....then Isabella, and Grayson in her Chariot (as we call it).............
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Oh, no, I didn't see the welcome from Slow. How wonderful! Thank you, all of you, for sharing my burden.
Tomboy, I don't know how you knew that I was standing at the edge of Crazy Town. I didn't even know where I was heading.
So many kind comments that I can't respond to them all.
Gotta see if the clothes are dry. Mom needs clean bed linens pronto.
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I have no clue what they were doing..........jUst know the Bose Radio was blasting, and they were very, very, loud..........haha..............I would assume their version of "dancing".......wonder who they take after..........
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