CRAZY TOWN WAITING ROOM - TESTS coming up? All Stages Welcome.
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And this is for you Katy,,,
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Shor.....Gee I am learning how to deal with spinal stenosis also. I keep trying dif things to keep my dumb body moving, the other day I was feeling good so went to the gym and of course, did too much which put in loads of pain. Trying also to figure out pain meds that are not too addicting but still work. Stinks for sure
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Awww Shorfi...thanks. Sniff. Love pandas. And a hug backatcha. I feel for you. Pain can send one around the bend. I'm sorry.
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Lookit that. Katy's back!! Hooray!
And where is our resident hugger? Hmm???
Poppy, my son's school emailed the parents relentlessly about the PSAT. They are all about getting the kids to the tests in fighting form.
Proud, I think we were all underachievers compared to kids now. Whole different ball game getting into college. I remember taking one AP test--now it seems you need several to be competitive. Glad the heating pads are working.
Roserx, my fear is that it was not stone soup but compost soup. I much prefer the matzoh ball variety, thank you!
I agree about chemo changing the metabolism. Says she who has spent the last three weeks on the couch, eating all of the food that my lovely friends and family have sent. Please please please, I would like to send you all some of it! Like there is, in particular, a praline candy with dark chocolate/almond coating. Would anyone like some? I would be happy to toss it into the pneumatic tubes. In the freezer, I have a pumpkin cake, some vanilla cake, and cinnamon babka. Even with an adolescent male around the house, we have too much of this stuff.
Off to pick up my CSA share... Veggies--we must have veggies!!
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rain, I thought young males just inhaled all foods~
on the couch with the lovely heating pad, tomorrow it is acupuncture day, sort of feeling better today but who knows, did not do much
Veggies must have Veggies, I so know that feeling! tonight I have a mix of broccoli & cauliflower plus some chicken left from last night...emphasis on the pile of veggies! think I will add some tomatoes
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Hey fellow Crazies,
Well, I'm back more or less. It was a super long day on Tuesday and I was really feeling it Wednesday and still today.
Jack/Katy how are you doing today? Better I hope. I've been thinking about you when you're feeling down it's always best to stick around the boards as there's always someone for us here in Crazy Town. Your matzoh ball soup looks delish, and as were edging toward soup weather here..extremely tempting! In fact all that chicken talk and pictures has got me craving a roast chicken, something I don't make often enough. Cooking always seems to be good therapy, and then after the cooking part you get to it it!!! Enjoy your apples!
Who knows why stuff blows through our heads...I have the same feelings this time of year as you do..(which in the past has always been my favorite time of year)..my only (younger) sister died in Dec of 2010 (not cancer) , my mom in Jan of 2013, my dad in Oct of 2013...so I know the seasons can bring not so good memories. The best thing sometimes can be people forcing you out of your comfort zone or the house. I really didn't want to go to that Pepin thing Tuesday. Getting dressed I just couldn't face going into SF since every visit there has involved UCSF, and cancer. It was also the 1 yr anniversary of my mx so.....I just wanted to stay home and take my clothes off and put on yoga pants...but I knew I had to go, so I went and gradually I felt better about stuff and finally was glad that I'd gone. I think being in town finally blew away all the cancer associations I'd laid on my hometown. But, I wouldn't have gone had my husband not dragged me there. Here's a nice baby owl for comfort purposes..I've got him on my permanent mood elevator feed.
I've got possums too but I don't think anyone around here likes them as much as I do
Hey there Octo!!!,
your husband sounds like one of the good guys! The room is the ball room at the Herbst Theatre which I'd never been in before. There was a ton of food served but I didn't eat anything since I'd had hercpetin a few days before and I was worried about getting diarrhea at Jacques Pepins Birthday Party.. now that's a premise! So I just drank sparkling water, to be honest the herceptin and arimindex tends to give me nausea so I wasn't nuts about being around all that food.
Tom,
how are you girl?? How are things in LA? hope you're feeling better.
Rose,
So sorry for your loss. I love your description of a follicullary challenged state.. I am still without eyelashes and it really bothers me.. they grew back, but then they fell out again.I capped to save my hair but everytime I look at myself, the lack of eyelashes drives me nuts..I know it's bullshit to complain about that of all things but..hey ..it's crazy town.Slow,
good on you!!!!! glad you gave it to them!!!! Get those buggers where they live!!!
Ducky,
So glad you taught your daughter and grandaughter about Komen...that seems to be the best way of getting things to change..person to person to person.
Hope, Proud, Mommy, Shorfi, Rainn, and Poppy you all are doing well...
One of the chefs at the party Tuesday night decided to open a bottle of champagne with a sword. I'm not crazy about people pulling out swords at parties, especially when there has been lots of wine etc...The guy has 2 Michelin stars but I was getting real nervous about that..everybody stood back, and then instead of cutting the neck off the bottle neatly he cut it at the shoulder, and glass and champagne spewed everywhere. A bunch of people got soaked with champagne, then Pepin took the jagged bottle and drank out of it.. Yikes! Half of the bottle was missing! All I could think of was drinking ground glass, and someone stepping on the jagged pieces.
I suppose it didn't hurt him because he wound up singing for everyone, he definitely had a ball at his birthday party.
Some lady got into the party, absolutely not a guest I don't know how she got in there..but she started making moves on my husband, he told me she grabbed his hand and then started squeezing it and asked if he was married and he said yes, and indicated that I was his wife, so then she comes over to me and says all the good ones are taken, and I'm a lucky woman then she starts making moves on me....getting up real close and touchy (I do not like to be touched by people I don't know especially people who are carrying their shoes in their hand ) my husband started to help some of the guys move stuff out of the way for the cake..mainly to get away from her..leaving her with me..so I managed to wriggle away and then I think someone removed her as she was then gone.
we finally left SF around midnight, and I drove since I'm the designated driver always..I missed the turn off for highway 37 for Sonoma (it was so dark and I guess I wasn't thinking) and so had to go back toward SF find a place to turn around and get back on the freeway so I could do it right. Two lane poorly lit country roads are not what you want to be on at 1am + up here so we were glad to finally get home
I did something to my rotator cuff handling some of my cast iron a week or so agao and now it hurts to type and I'm trying to give that arm a rest..hopefully I don't have rotator cuff cancer ( I have had this problem before) it just hurts so that's another reason I haven't been typing as much.
Well.. hope I haven't forgotten anyone..I've got to give this arm a rest and get out of the office...I will be reading from th e familyroom downstairs!!!
so for now, buh bye!!!
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Proud, young males do indeed inhale all foods, but he was also the kind of kid who saved his halloween candy and made it last for a year. But yeah, he can pack away the calories these days, all 5'8" and 103 lb of him.
Sula, thanks for the party description. Wow.
DH made dinner! Grilled portobellos over mashed potatoes, some sort of vegetable stir fry. He played a Fats Waller CD I'd bought sometime in the '90s. In honor of which:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=in1eK3x1PBISlightly C*R*A*Z*Y tonight as I see the MO tomorrow and learn which brand of poison we're doing next. Have not seen her since July, as she went on vacation and then the BS took over. Should be interesting!
Re the October blues, today is the 12th anniversary of my father-in-law's death. He grew up on a farm in Kansas, and when I read Barack Obama's autobiography I realized that his family may well have known Obama's mother's parents. Owned a Model-T Ford as a young man and got off the farm as soon as he could.
Good evening to all and to all a good night!
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Good Evening Crazies!!
First things first.....
Mariasnow, Welcome to our Crazy thread!! So good to see you here!!!
Here is your Crazy Town starter kit. It consists of a flashlight, mirror, magnifying glass and coconut oil. Please use it wisely. Pull up a chair and enjoy all the food. We have some wonderful chefs here in Crazy Town. Add me to the gained wait list. Fifty pounds since I started treatment two years ago. I'm having a very difficult time getting it off.
Also......
Rain, Pooling all of our collective good thoughts for your MO appointment tomorrow!!!! We will all be in your pocket!!
Rose, Good luck tomorrow at your dental appointment!! You'll be in our thoughts!!
Ok.....now I'll attempt to catch up on ya'll.
Lucy, Got any fun plans for the weekend?? My DD is moving home!! Well, not exactly. Her BF has decided to go back to school and get his masters, so they are moving from Irvine to this area because it's less money to rent. I'm trying to convince her to move home so they can save money. She's an independent young woman , so I'm not sure what she's going to do. Either way, I've got my girl back in the area!!! I think they may be getting married soon, so maybe I'm just a few years away from being a Grandmother!!!
PTS, OUCH!!! Sawed off my big bunion, sounds like a heck of a lot of pain. Do they numb the area??? No chicken roasting here....still way too hot to turn on the oven.
Sula, Hope you were able to get some well needed rest. I may have been tempted to trip and accidentally drop my drink on the flirty lady!!! hahahahaha
Ducky, I love tilapia. That dinner you described sounds so good!! I'm on my way over!! I'll bring the red solo cups and wine!!
Rain, Hope your sons second round of testing went well. Your vegetable crisper story reminded me of my sister and I. We always have bananas that have turned brown hanging on our banana holders. It's almost like a family tradition. The younger kids in the family always make fun of us. PLEASE send some of that chocolate this way!!! I'll dip it in the soup!!! hahaha
Poppy, My echo appointment is Nov. 11 in Corona. Let me know if you still want to get together and we can meet somewhere. I share your fried brain syndrome, and my multitasking abilities have left the building. Poodle hair!!!! hahahahahahahaha....I've got that too!!!!
Tomboy, Do you want to meet us too???? You can drive that fancy new car of yours, and we can go eat some more food, and get larger than we already are!!! Sounds fun, yes???
Queen, How did your new recipe turn out?
Shorfi, Your DH sounds like a keeper! I hope you are feeling better now that you left the office. It really is awful being in pain.
Katy, Your soup looks delicious. I'm glad you're feeling a bit better today. It's hard to stay down with this group of crazies. We will climb right into that hole with you and pull you out!! Anniversaries are so difficult. My parent's passed away in '93 and '96 and I still have trouble with their anniversaries. I also believe that BC patients suffer from PTSD. In fact, I just saw an article about PTSD and BC that another sister posted. Here is the link. Very interesting
http://www.healthline.com/health-news/cancer-treatment-leaves-survivors-with-ptsd-scars-031215
M0mmy, I choose to believe you are out having a wonderful adventure and upon your return you'll have great stories and pictures to share!!!
I think we should have a backup hugger when M0mmy can't check in - too much pressure for one person!! I vote for Lucy!!!!!!!!!!!!! She would make a perfect BACKUP hugger. She is one of the kindest people I know!!! All in agreement for a backup hugger??????? Lucy, I hope you don't mind me volunteering you!!!??? It won't be a full-time job. Just when M0mmy is off having adventures.
Waving to all the quiet crazies!!!0 -
Here ya go, crazies. This is what we're dealing with. Down the pneumatic tubes to all of you (and from the Vermont Country Store if you have need of some in real life).
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My daughter sent me this today..........someone gave it to her.......this is her with her father when she was Jr. bridesman in her sister's wedding.......she is now 46.........and was 14 in the picture..........as most of you know he died in 1991.10 years after this picture was taken....he never got to walk this daughter down the aisle.
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Awww Ducky. What a great picture. I love looking at old pictures. She looks so happy to be dancing with her dad. We should have an old picture day here in Crazy Town!!!
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Sula: I'll take one of those owls, please.
SlowDeep: thank you for asking! the dinner turned out very well--I have to remember that chicken does well in the slow cooker as long as you don't have your heart set on deep-fried crispy skin of circulatory doom.
For those who weren't paying attention and don't want to shuffle back through pages: this was the 'chicken pomodoro' from America's Test Kitchen's Slow Cooker Revolution number 2. (That cooking show on PBS with Kimball and an industrial size kitchen and a village of experts) The recipes are fairly generic American, but at least I know that the cookbook writers have tested the recipes within to death, and then nted what worked and why so you know when it's OK to tweak the recipe.
No pictures, alas as ours got all gobbled up in short order, so I suppose this can't properly be part of the food porn pneumatic tube system. Sorry.
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Queen, When the weather is cooler and we are short on time, we season chicken pieces, put it in the crock pot and add a large jar of our favorite salsa. So easy and very tasty. It shreds easily, and we put the chicken inside of a tortilla with whatever we want to add to the tortilla. Not very fancy, but pretty good!!
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Huh. I'll keep that in mind. The pomodoro wasn't terribly fancy either, though the America's Test Kitchen recipes do occasionally veer into slightly fussier territory--microwave something then put into crockpot.
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Sending love to all. My weigh-in at the cancer center was the highest ever and by 6 lbs. I decided to just be grateful for my good blood counts, love myself, and be honest about the fact that my snacking has gone off the rails since my mom's death in July ( but was off before that also). I didn't used to eat nearly this much and I exercised a lot more and a lot harder. It's likely that is a bigger contributor than anything. I'm gonna get off the pity pot and let the ring around my ass fade and keep working on my life.
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Good thinking Maria!! Me too!
I'm not giving up until it's all off. I just need to have a little chat with my tastebuds.0 -
New dental hygienist today, super gentle. Said that more flossing needs to be done. Now that chemo is done and platelets aren't so low I will think about it. The tooth still hurts and dentist says we can start working towards a root canal (out of town) taking a closed look because tooth or filling may be cracked. Wouldn't give me another round of abx. I see PCP in 2 weeks and will ask her for sinus x-ray.
Still eating out most of the time. Grilled chicken ceasar wrap with a side of fruit.
Anniversaries are tough, Thanksgiving will be my time to hibernate and reflect.
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Rose! I had you down for the dentist tomorrow. Did that change or did I just mess up again?? I think I need an assistant!! haha
Edited to add: YEP....I messed up the day. I guess I'll never be an administrative assistant. Rose....you're just too sweet!! You didn't even point out I had the wrong day!! Such a sweetheart.
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You GO, 'snow!!! I am looking forward to the heat letting up, so I can move more. You made me laugh!!! "ring around my ass"!
Beppy is trying to get me to move more... I am just not motivated. Yesterday, I helped my man unload many thick board feet of poplar, that he is using to make some bathroom furniture for this couple we know. I am the helper, as always, when he can pin me down! I have told him I would help, I think I will be done by the lunch date, YAY! A reason to go for a long drive! I promise to let you know soon,Slow. It would be nice to see you again too Pop. Can I just wear my jeans? My fat ones?
I would have driven you guys, Sula! That woman and the sword-chef sounds crazy and memorable! I am glad Pepin didn't swallow. I want that baby owl! And that pink sink and bathtub! Yeah, we have an antique maroon toilet now, we do have the sink that matches somewhere around, don't know if there ever was a tub.
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Tomboy, You just gave me my belly laugh for the night whether you intended to or not. I won't elaborate!! hahaha....You've got to watch out for miss Tomboy....she's a clever one. Very subtle humor.
Of course you can wear your fat jeans!! I'm just gonna cut a hole in our tent and wear that. I may attach two belts together and wear that as an accessory!!!!
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evening to the crazies... surprisingly, I haven't gained much weight at all...(ducks and covers)...maybe that will come after the chemo? of course, I started down this path overweight.
I am sorry that October is so bad for some of you. For me, other than the Puketober stuff, it is my favorite month, I must admit. I love traveling in October (and when we stay home, in a 'normal' year, the weather in California is usually really nice), and the end of the month we celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary! We will be in Pacific Grove, hanging by the ocean, relaxing, hopefully not feeling the chemo too much....
A funny story about our engagement: I asked hubby to marry me on Leap Year (Sadie Hawkins Day). He was down in Orange County on business....this was before ordering flowers and such on the internet was common..so I called a florist to arrange to have a bouquet of flowers sent to his hotel room....came time for the woman on the phone to ask me what I wanted on the card...when I told her I wanted it to say: "I love you; will you marry me?", she sort of gasped and said, "Honey, are you REALLY SURE you want to put that on the card?" hahaha. Umm yes....:-)
by the way, we met on the internet (Match.com, which makes me one of the earliest adopter. I've always thought they should put us in an ad. Only if we get paid though, of course). it did teach me that sometimes you can find wonderful people on the 'net. Like here.
well, I haven't gotten up the nerve to let hubby see me bald, but I am feeling a bit less self-conscious. I actually (guest) taught a graduate seminar today and didn't worry about it or my head cover too much. That's a big step for me. The support I get here really helps. Thank you all for sharing the craziness.
Sula, glad you got home ok! and yes, I'd have spilled my drink on the flirty lady: although it was sort of funny to read about.....
Love the pic, ducky!
rain: yes, send the candy via the tubes, please! with ice cream!
yes to Lucy to help with hugs and with posting the best beach walk pics!
Katy: the dog that does double dutch is great! I used to be able to do that....
Gaia: how did the gig go?
Good night to all!
xoxox
Octogirl
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Octo, I completely get where you are with not wanting DH to see you bald. I was right there with you, to the point I called bandanas 'head underpants'because it was the most necessary item of clothing I owned during chemo. I wore wigs or bandana constantly, except for a few Onc visits when I was feeling scared and needed a boost. Then I went sans chapeau in a somewhat slutty dress and heavy makeup. As soon as I had short fuzz, I made my husband shave it into a mohawk and died it blue. I figured it might look weird but at least it looked like I meant it, rather than ch3mo cut. My point is, there's no wrong way to be you at this point, and how you want the world to see you will change throughout treqtment. Hugs!
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Busy place!
Sula, One of the in-laws loves to open champagne with his sword. Although I cringe every time, he has never missed. Regarding the sloppy drunk woman.... I have found that I am usually polite to them. My DH and I have a good laugh about it later. Any other time someone hits on my man, I get feisty and take care of things. Don't piss off a 5'3" Italian woman!
Reminds me of my 4'10" grandma. Back in the day, some beauty pageant hottie was flirting with and putting her hands on my shy grandpa. Grandma came flying out of the office, red hair streaming behind her. She punched that woman and pulled her hair. Other family members were quite shocked. Don't mess with short women. We're feisty.
Slow and Tomboy, You crack me up. Fat jeans and tents.... got it!
Ducky, Love that picture. A very handsome man!
I read everyone's posts. Love the stories and getting to know everyone better.
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SLow.. Thank you for being so kind... So happy for you that DD is coming back to live. 😃 Whether they move in , or close by will be wonderful...Nothing more lovely than having that special time with a daughter ! We are going to our daughters tomorrow..I love seeing the kids.. Last week Louis ( he's 5) told me he's very sad because the other kids in.his class are loosing their teeth., and his won't fall out.!! HaHa.. He must be sweating on the Tooth Fairy coming :-)
Ducky.. What a lovely photo.. There's a special bond between daughters and their fathers.
Rose.. I hope everything goes smoothly with your tooth.. In the last 3 months I have had 2 root canals on mine.. They re-did it because it still hurt after the first time .. then they decided it was cracked., so they extracted it.. and now I've been back twice because broken fragments of tooth keep working their way through my gum.. Ugh.. Sorry to go on.. but It's driving me insane!!
Octo.. Thank you... and I love the story of how you meet your hubby, and proposed !! :-)
Hi to everyone!
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head underpants !!!!
That pretty much nails it for me!
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Hi there all you beautiful crazies
It's a challenge being away for even a day or so because everyone is so engaged with this thread!
Slow you remain the champ at getting a hello in to everyone! That's sweet news about your DD moving closer to home. A sweet future thought about grand kids.
Mariasnow welcome! you sure look pixie, petite and pretty in your pic! getting the 'ring off my ass' haha made me laugh! here's to getting on with a good life plan and sorry for the loss of your mom in July.
Shorfi your telling of your DH's response with the bald head- I was so moved- tears were running down my face It's amazing how laid bare and tender we and those that really love us become in these times. Thanks for sharing that.
Octo- Love how you proposed! I like that October is a good month for you other than PUKEtober ( LOVE THAT) It's one of my favorite months too. If it weren't so far away it would be when I would want our wedding right now we are thinking late august /early september.... even though Oct is only another month after it still seems too far. I am also weirdly toying with the idea of February.
LBF I love that you donned a slutty dress to some of your MO appointments and then had a blue mohawk. That's claiming some power!
Queen- 'fried crispy skin of circulatory doom' haha I don't fry my chicken but I get the skin roasted really good and I eat it....
Rain thinking of you at the MO.
PTS how is your back today?
Rose ahh the dentist- I really need to get that on my 'list'
Katy I am SO glad to 'hear' your voice! i glanced at the PTSD article that Beppy gave the link for. between ending treatment and this being a month of anniversaries of loss.... be gentle my bright friend. and remember the 'TAO'. Still holding you close. And the applesauce sounds like the perfect comfort to go with the soup!
Tomboy- you sound pretty active to me, especially the way you described your 'tree house'. Hopefully you and Slow can keep supporting each other to keep moving! If I were on the west coast I'd crash your lunch date.
Speaking of crashing... Sula I never get how unconscious women can be sometimes- just reading that made me want to BOP her. Hope you are planning/ have space to get settled back in to your regular groove this weekend- you've been so busy. Also hope the shoulder is just a strain and not a tear!
Poppy that was a funny story about your grandmother- red hair flying- and you are so right- DO NOT mess is petite Italian women.
Ducky what a lovely photo....I am 50 and getting married for the second time. I always wanted my dad to walk me 'down the aisle' and I didn't have that with my first wedding.... so I think life is giving me another chance for that.
In fact I've just been glued to the couch since getting back from my gig looking at dresses and reading about weddings on this sight called Stone Fox Bride. I don't know what's gotten in to me; I certainly did not behave this way around my first wedding... (that's a whole other story). Am I just pushing back at my 'situation' ? or am I just a a girl madly in love in spite of everything. who knows. The only thing I know is I am bulls eye crazy! I definitely plan on being a STONE FOX BRIDE. For now I need to unglue my butt from the couch.
More later ladies
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Just wanted to stop in and put my crazy out there...maybe give it less power this way. BTW, I still can't keep up with ya'll!
So, I have to go Monday for a Lumbar MRI for hip,leg,knee pain....I really think this is sciatica to be honest. BUT, now I'm trippin on whether or not they will pick up any issues with my liver as I've had slightly elevated numbers. As much as I try to not go there, I felt it as soon as I hung up with the scheduler about an hour ago. This time of year sucks too, 2 years ago October was dx
anyway, just glad there is a place I can come and put my crazy out there.
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Good Morning Wonderful Crazies!!
It's FRIDAY!!!
Tomboy, Hope all goes well with the PCP today. We will all be right in your pocket cracking jokes and eating, I'm sure!!
octo, I also love October. So. Cal. finally starts cooling off by the end of the month. Time to switch my wreath on my front door from summer to fall. On cold nights you can see and smell the smoke from the fireplaces in my neighborhood. A beautiful fog starts to form above the Santa Rosa Plateau in the mornings. I'm really looking forward to the cooler weather. What a funny and beautiful story about how you proposed to your DH. Good for you for taking the lead!!
littleblue, Head underpants....hahahahaha....that cracked me up and so true!! I spent such an unbelievably long time picking out a wig and head coverings. By the 4th chemo, I was done with it all. I love the mohawk and blue hair!! I wish I had done that.
Poppy, Don't piss off a 5'3" Italian woman! Truer words have never been spoken. My mom was very short and NO ONE ever wanted to get her angry. Don't mess with short women. We're feisty. Also TRUE!! Just look at our feisty Ducky. She is as feisty as they come!!! One of my most favorite qualities about her. LOVED the story about your grandmother!!!
Lucy, That is so cute!! I remember my kids being anxious for their teeth to fall out too. My kids think it's gross, but I kept a couple of their little teeth. I paid good money for those teeth, I should be able to keep a few. hahaha
Gaia, I'm looking forward to hearing about all of your wedding plans. It's nice to see the excitement in your words. You'll be a beautiful bride!!
Tang, Gentle hugs to you. Any kind of scan can be so scary. We will all be right in your pocket on Monday. Pooling all of our best thoughts in your direction. Glad you were able to voice your fears here in Crazy Town. We all get it. Crazy Town has definitely helped me be less crazy.
If it rains this weekend, I think I may make my first pot of fall soup. It's overcast and cool here this morning. I hope it lasts all weekend.
I've been working on a Crazy Town map and thought our map should be in the shape of a brain. Seems fitting.
Thinking of all of you wonderful ladies as we enter the weekend. Hope you all have a pain free, peaceful weekend.
Love to all!! Quiet crazies too!!0 -
I am checking in under self imposed duress. I don't want you to worry. But I'm still in the pit. I can no longer pass it off as a slightly romanticized rabbit hole. It is a pit. My chest feels so heavy. Crying again in the night. I just held on to Jack. I keep thinking I should just let go. Let it have me if it wants me so bad. I thought last night that my loved (dead) ones are visiting me so much more because I'm due to meet them again soon. I feel so tired of fighting this. Mentally and physically.
I cancelled the rest of my PT appts (I'm sorry, Iris, I know that will seem very selfish) because I no showed the last, cancelled at the last minute this morning, and don't want to do that to her. I just can't get up. I actually thought last night that my friend with the apples just moved into that house and has no way of knowing if they were sprayed. Nothing feels safe. So applesauce project cancelled.
Obviously not sleeping well. Not doing too well while awake either. Calling the doc. The shrink that is. This is not good. I feel I am letting everyone down and being impossibly self centered. I have no good reasons for feeling this way.
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