patty
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PATTY! I'm overjoyed to see your smiling avatar!
Ativan does not make you dopey like valium. Other than a calming effect you don't even realize your on something. Get some rest, relax and get feeling better. Love you girl!
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So pleased to see your post. You probably picked up that darn c-diff from your previous hospital stay as a parting gift. Nice to see your sense of humor hasn't been affected. You will not expire before the milk! Get some rest, keep the fluids flowing and enjoy the peace of being home. (((HUGS)))
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Paaty,
I hope you can draw some strength from our collective souls who are sending you pure white light filled with love and strength.
Always sending prayers,
Butterfly
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Patty: it's so good to see you!
Glad you're home again. Yeah the carbo is working, glad it's helping the bilirubin. Yuck for cdiff. Hope that stays away.
That's a lot of blood products. You were wondering where the blood was going. Maybe it isn't going anywhere but your body isn't making as much blood any more? A question for your MO.
I'm so sorry your brain in going in circles, about the groceries and the laundry. Would it help to reframe the question? It's ok to buy the milk and wash the clothes. You deserve fresh groceries and clean clothes. Be mad at that cancer! No! You can't take away today. I'm going to enjoy my food and my clothes. Perhaps try the Ativan when the bad is overwhelming.
Your dss will be independent young men because you already taught them so many things. You taught them how to think, how to behave. Maybe they can't do everything yet but you have taught them how to plan, how to read directions, and how to ask for help.
I'm glad your bag is ready. Everyone should do that, not just those facing a terminal illness. My parents have been avoiding that for years. My mother started hospice this week, and their affairs are still not in order.
I really don't understand friends and family who are waiting for the funeral. We had a choir member battle cancer a while ago. Some of her friends did not visit her. "I don't want to remember her that way."
I hope you're getting some rest. Also, avoid the flu and sick people if possible. There's so much crud and germs going around and you don't need to fight that as well.
HUGS, HUGS, HUGS
Madelyn
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(shyly) Glad you're home from the hospital, Patty. Keep the fluids/faith, sister.
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So glad you are home again and getting some peaceful time. Carbo is working too! You can rally and keep on truckin Patty. We are all pulling for you.
You sons have learned plenty from you including grace, persistence, and courage. Never doubt what a good mother you are!
I hope you have a great time with family. I have a weird sister who has not called me since this all started. I think she wants to live in denial but I sort of feel like "What a coward, I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW!
drink up and be well Patty.
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Patty, sending love and prayer from California. Your post made me laugh, and it broke my heart. Gentle hugs.
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Patty, one thing that occurred to me when I read your heartfelt, truth-filled post was about the friends who you feel would come to your funeral but don't visit now.
I know I have had the feeling when someone is very ill that I should not intrude, that it is a time for them to hunker down with their very closest family and friends.
That may be why some of them hang back.
They don't want to take up your precious time.
If there are people you would like to see could you get your family to send a message to them saying you would love a visit or that there is something they can do?
I would hate for you to think they all stay away because they don't care, when it might be just the opposite.
XXX
Susanna
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Patty!!!! I’m in bed having a stupid pity party for myself...then I read your honest post and I just need to slap myself. First, yay for carbo!! Hope it keeps getting your numbers back on track!! Second, c-diff is no joke! I swear I thought I was going to die from it, not cancer. It doesn’t help that the antibiotics for it make you feel worse! You probably feel like sh!t because of all the sh!t!! I really think if the carbo is doing its thing, then if you can get past this c-diff, you will feel (and think) so much better! When I feel bad, I always think bad thoughts. I’m glad your sis is there. Hoping you finally get some good rest without nurses in and out all hours of the day and night! And your boys...You will have more time. And know that You have given them all of you and they will forever hold you in their heart and know what true love is! TAKE THE ATIVAN!!!!!!!!! thank you for being so open and honest. I really am not trying to dismiss your feelings. They are real and scary. I just don’t want you to give up hope! I really think the Ativan will help calm your thoughts and as soon as this c-diff crap 💩 is gone, you will get stronger (physically and mentally) every day! We are all cheering for you and sending hugs and loves!
Kristin.
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Patty!!
💖💖
I'm so glad to see you post. Thank you for being so honest and real about this. You are loved.
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Hope all is well with you this morning , thinking of you always.
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Thinking of you Patty and hoping you are feeling better
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Patty - you are in my thoughts daily.
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Thinking of you, Patty.
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waving hello to you this morning and sending hugs your eay
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Patty- checking in here on how you are doing. So sorry to hear you were back in the hospital again. C-diff, ugh sister. And good point from Mominator about maybe you not making blood anymore and good to ask the MO. Information helps us to make decisions.
About the people who are waiting to come visit, I had a friend who had a head/neck cancer and whenever he wanted to see me, I would go. If he felt well enough, we would go out to eat, if he needed me to visit and be present with him, I would go.
So if there is someone you really feel you need to see at this point for any reason, you should ask for that person to come. As FeelingFeline said, sometimes people stay away as they assume it is time for the closest of family and friends. But an invite in may change someone being willing to come. Have someone else do that invite, you don't need to be reaching out. If they come, great, and if they don't, move on to the next person you need to see. You are entitled to see people now if you wish to.
Sending you love now and always sister
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Patty,
Sending big, warm hugs and love to you,
Tina
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Hello Patty,
I hope your MO has sorted out the blood problem by now.
I've been thinking about the visit/not visit all week, especially Feelingfeline's comment about people not wanting to intrude. Many folks don't know what to do. They can't read your mind, and they don't know if they would be intruding.
As I think more about our choir member, the people who said "I don't want to remember her that way," were from an older generation. Also, maybe they were afraid of intruding. Those of us who visited her frequently were closer to her age.
If we all were closer, we'd all be visiting you all the time.
HUGS, Madelyn
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sending love and healing thoughts
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Feline, so true.
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Hope things are going better Patty. I think of you every day too. I also contemplate the issue of people coming to visit or not. I find my feeling are different for certain people. Like you I wonder who will show up in the end when they haven't communicated with me during this whole ordeal, including one of my sisters. Others ask to visit who were never reached out to be "friends" before my illness??!!! It's a hard thing to navigate. but i agree with some of these ladies. if you feel up to it just ask the ones you want and see what transpires. Enjoy your sister!
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Thinking of you and offering hugs.
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hey! Thinking of you! Praying treatments are going well! ❤️❤️❤️
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more hugs
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Thinking of you, Patty. Here's where I wish we all were!!!
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Ruth, (much love and strength dear Patty)
Your picture reminds me of the following:
The Lord replied, “My child, I love you and I would never leave you. During times of trials and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints in the sand, it was then that I carried you.
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Butterfly and Ruth, I was thinking the same thing about the one set of footprints.
Patty, may this Lenten season be blessed for you.
Also, Happy Valentine's Day Patty.
It's strange to have Ash Wednesday and Valentine's Day on the same day. I like Valentine's Day, but not all the greeting card hoopla, but a nice dinner and some chocolates. It's just a coincidence, they have nothing to do with each other.
We will also have Easter on April Fool's Day. I don't like April fool's day very much. A silly joke is fine, but some people really are mean with their pranks.
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Patty!!! what a mess, but look at you, moving on. It's a touch one, cdiff but wish for ou to turn this corner real soon. Stuff like Gatorade to actually have an impact on you would be great. How wonderful your sis are there to BE WITH you. Forget about the ones that are missing out in being in your company. All the love you gave the boys all this time, it must have registered in them, i think that's probably the most important work you have done, love.
Artist as you said, the ones that did not know that you existed till something dramatic happens, and the ones that run away. Yes, some ppl become nosy bodies and some wanna give the space. Well they could call, or call someone close to the person and ask if they are approachable. And if not just send your love. That's what I did with someone i knew. I don't have much tolerance for ppl that can't deal with it, or wanna remember someone in a certain way, it's about the OTHER person not themselves.
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Hope you are having a LOVEly day, Patty!
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